Badger
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Quotes for
Badger (Character)
from The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949)

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The Wind in the Willows (1987) (TV)
Badger: Toad, you should be delighted - that I'll have three permanent house guests who'll take turns being with you night and day.

Badger: We're attacking Toad Hall tonight.
Mr. Toad: Right! Oh! Oh, with armies, and navies, and...
Badger: No, no, no, just *ourselves*.
Mr. Toad: [sadly] A bit of a comedown on that. Hmm. We'll never get past the sentries.
Ratty: We are *not* going PAST them! We are going unnnnnder them.
Moley: Gonna use the secret tunnel to Toad Hall.
Mr. Toad: Splendid idea!

Badger: [during his confrontation with Toad] You *know* we must come to this sooner or later. You've disregarded all the warnings we've given you, and you've gone on squandering the money your father left you. You're a disgrace to all of us and to your family. You're giving us animals a bad name in the district by your furious driving, and smashes, and rivals with the police. We animals *never* allow our friends to make fools of themselves beyond a certain limit. This is our last effort that will bring you to reason. Change your ways now, or face the consequences, which I promise you will *not* be pleasant!

Moley: [during Toad's victory banquet] He kept his word.
Ratty: Quiet as a possum.
Moley: Modest as a mouse.
Badger: Too good to be true. I don't trust the little bounder.

Badger: Tonight, we'll make our way throught the tunnel, bypass the sentries, and come up on the pantry next to the dining hall.
Mr. Toad: The squeaky board in the pantry.
Badger: Right. And thanks to Mole, they'll be thinking that *hundreds* are attacking. We'll clear them out of Toad Hall in five minutes.

Badger: The trap door's right ahead. Follow me, animals, the hour is come!

Ratty: [writing his letter to Toad] And to this very day...
Badger: Ratty! Toad's escaped from prison. Flew the coup. Gone.
Ratty: Gone? G-g-g-g-gone where?
Badger: Heaven only knows.

[repeated line]
Badger: Some say there is a being, kindly, benevolent, whose heartbeat is all nature, and whose embrace protects small animals everywhere. Piper, Pan, call him what you will.

Mr. Toad: Is something bothering you chaps?
Badger: You will come with me into the library. You will hear the hard facts about yourself.
[grabs Toad in one arm, then advances toward the library door and opens it]
Badger: We'll see if you come out of that room in the same Toad as you went in. Brother Toad, sit down.
[tosses Toad onto a chair]
Mr. Toad: Ow!
Badger: Prepare to repent for your follies.

Ratty: [as he and Moley stare at the bed sheets hanging from the window that Toad used to escape from Toad Hall] He did awfully well.
Badger: He did *you* awfully well. Well - we'd better stay here for a while. Toad may be brought back at any moment, on a stretcher or between two policemen.

Badger: Well now, what's the news on the riverbank? How's old Toad getting on?
Ratty: From bad to worse.
Moley: With all of his contraptions, you know.
Badger: *All*? How many has he *had*?
Moley: He smashed up six, then - then there was that stone wall, and then...

Badger: [singing] I hate company. If you're company, I'll hate you with the rest.
Moley, Ratty: [singing] He hates company.
Badger: I hate company.
Moley, Ratty: Don't invite him, he's a certifiable pest.
Badger: I hate company!
Moley, Ratty: He hates company.
Badger: Being alone is best.

Ratty: [to Badger] Do you suppose we're being too hard on Toad? He's been locked up in that room for weeks. And now he's taken to his bed; he won't eat, hardly says a word...
Badger: He's weakening. In a few more weeks, he'll be reformed. Keep a keen eye on him, Ratty, while we do the marketing. Come along, Moley.

Ratty: [about Toad] He'll end up killed or bankrupt. We're his friends. Shouldn't we do something?
Badger: [yawning] Of course. I can't do anything now. It's winter.
[yawns]
Moley: Dozing? Badger, too?
Ratty: [almost whispering] No animal is ever expected to do anything strenuous, heroic, or even moderately active during winter.
Badger: When winter's over, we'll take Toad seriously into hand. We'll stand no nonsense. We'll bring him back to his senses even if force is needed. We'll make him a sensible Toad. But now...
[yawns]
Badger: It's time for bed.
Ratty: Yes... we've got a long journey home tomorrow.
Moley: Not the Wild Wood again.

Badger: [to the weasels, who are mopping the banquet hall to prepare for Toad's victory banquet] And make sure you get it spotless; everything must be just so for Toad's victory banquet.
Mr. Toad: But why must I have a banquet?
Badger: It's expected of you; it's the rule!
Mr. Toad: It's short-noticed. But I can whip up an interesting program, I'm sure.
[chuckles briefly]
Mr. Toad: I could give several speeches of course.
Moley: [as he and Badger shake their heads] No.
Mr. Toad: And address on our prison system?
[Ratty shakes his head]
Mr. Toad: A lecture on the techniques of escaping?
Badger: No speeches.
Mr. Toad: Just one little speech?
Ratty: *No*! Your speeches are all conceit and *boasting*, and...
Badger: And gas.
Mr. Toad: Oh, I know then, a short song.
[Badger, Ratty, and Moley shake their heads in unison]
Mr. Toad: Ah, very well. In sport, I - I will be a very different toad. But oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh, this is a haaaard world...


The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949)
[Toad enters Rat and Mole's house and faints]
Mole: Why... it's a poor old lady. Let's move her over by the fire.
[They move Toad, then his chain ball lands on Rat's foot]
Rat: Oww! Toad! What are you doing here?
Mr. Toad: Well, I just, um... sort of...
Mole: Well, this is a merry Christmas... but aren't you afraid of the police?
Mr. Toad: Afraid of the police?
[laughs]
Mr. Toad: I? Toad? Afraid of the police?
[laughs more. Then a loud knock and yelling comes from the door]
Angus MacBadger: [from behind the door] OPEN UP! OPEN UP, I SAY!
Mr. Toad: THE POLICE!

[while trying to get Toad Hall in order, MacBadger gets interrupted by two knocks on the door, the second one, thankfully, from Rat and Mole]
Angus MacBadger: Oh, it's you, Rat. And Mole, too. Thank goodness, lads. You've come at last.
[they go into Toad Hall]
Narrator: Poor MacBadger, he'd reach the end of his rope, or as he said himself...
Angus MacBadger: I'm feelin' like a nervous wreck.
Rat: I say, MacBadger, what seems to be the trouble?
Angus MacBadger: [upset] Something's got to be done about Toad! This time, he is goin' too far!
Mole: But he promised us.
Angus MacBadger: Promises? Ha! What good are his promises when these wild manias take him? Now look, you're his dearest friends, are you not?
Rat: Yes.
Mole: Very dear friends.
Angus MacBadger: Then, lads, you've got to find Toad and stop him.
Rat: What's he doing?
Angus MacBadger: He's got a new mania. He's rampagin' about the county in a canary yellow gypsy cart with a horse named Cyril.

Angus MacBadger: [whispering] Careful, lads. There's a guard.
[Toad whips out a rifle]
Mr. Toad: [shouts] I'll pop him off!

Prosecutor: As trustee of the Toad estate, were you aware of the defendant's mania for motorcars?
Angus MacBadger: Well, I...
Prosecutor: And that, due to his reckless behavior, you had cut off his allowance?
Angus MacBadger: Well, I...
Prosecutor: And that he was, to the best of your knowledge, without funds?
Angus MacBadger: Well, I...
Prosecutor: That is all! Thank you.

Angus MacBadger: Aye, lads, I've just made a very important discovery.
[as he speaks, we cut to Toad Hall, where Winky and the weasels are living now]
Angus MacBadger: Toad Hall is ablaze with lights. And in possession, a pack of weasels. And the leader of the gang is none other than Mister...
Weasels: Winky!
[Winky shows he has the deed to Toad Hall]
Weasels: Hip hip hooray!
[end of flashback]
Angus MacBadger: And so you see, he DID trade Toad Hall for the motorcar.
Rat: Then, Toad was innocent all the time.
Angus MacBadger: Aye, lads, and if only he were here right now...
[Toad, who was clinging to the top of the Christmas tree, suddenly falls into MacBadger's arms]
Angus MacBadger: Toad!
Mr. Toad: [happily] Angus!
Rat: Sorry, Toad. I misjudged you.
Mole: I hope, someday, you'll find it in your heart...
Mr. Toad: Tut, tut. Not another word. To err is human to forgive...
Angus MacBadger: [dropping Toad on the ground] Thaddeus, not so fast! You're still guilty in the eyes of the law. To prove your innocence, we've got to get that paper away from Winky! Now, I have a plan. We'll sneak in through the secret tunnel...


Mr. Toad's Wild Ride (1996)
Motor car salesman: Mr Toad owes me... money.
[grins]
Badger: May I make a proposition?
Motor car salesman: We're always open to a deal...
Badger: If you remove these machines forthwith, I promise not to insert one portion of them into any part of your anatomy...

St John Weasel: [as Badger comes across the walk bay throwingg the weasels off the side] Oh! Steady on! Listen N... n... no... n... Calm down! n... n... no
Mole: [Badger has thrown three weasels off] I say! Badger!
St John Weasel: [backing up with Badger walking towards him] I... I'm not really a weasel... I'm a rabbit
[does rabbit teeth]
St John Weasel: They forced me to work he and you saved me, oh thank you, thank you!
Badger: Shut up! Keep moving!


The Wind in the Willows (1983/I) (TV)
Badger: Do you mean to say you *don't* promise never to touch a motorcar again?
Toad: On the contrary! I *faithfully* promise that the first motor car I see...
[puts on his driving goggles]
Toad: Poop-poop!

Toad: [having just overflown his friends in his new airplane] Ha ha! Hello you fellows!
Rat: You maniac!
Badger: LOCK HIM UP!
Mole: Toad! This time you've gone too far!
Toad: Hang motoring! This is the life!


The Wind in the Willows (1995) (TV)
[Badger, Rat and Mole are trying to persuade Toad to give up his outrageous, and dangerous obsession of motorcars]
Toad: [jumping on the couch; freaking out by his unridden car being taken away before his eyes] What is this? My car! My Beautiful car!
[he faces Badger]
Toad: [upset] Badger, what have you done?
Badger: Take those clothes off at once!
Toad: [impudent; bouncing on the couch in protest] *Shan't!* Shan't, shan't, shan't, shan't!
Badger: [to Rat and Mole] Take 'em off him!
[Mole and Rat strip Toad from his driving clothes, till he is only wearing his white undershirt and red white-polka dot patterned underpants]