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: When Milton declared that heaven's best gift is a woman perfected, he forgot to mention what a hellish job it is perfecting one of them.
: I think perhaps Homer described it better. A creature with the form of a goddess, the walk of a queen and the heart of a tyrant.
: Madam, the fact that a chicken can lay a perfect egg does not entitle her to crow like a rooster.
: Maybe you'd prefer to go out and eat with the hogs. Paladin
: Miss Moss, don't apologize to me for your cooking. I'm sure the over seasoning was just a mistake. Lydia Moss
: Over what? We've had your cowboy friends ride three days to eat at this table. Paladin
: It is amazing how cowboys and ranch hands develop a fondness for that peculiar flavor of chuck wagon cooking. Very few kitchens can reproduce it.
: We had an agreement. Paladin
: Well, I'm living up to my part of it. Thad Taylor
: You've done nothing but throw the whole darn thing right back in my lap. Paladin
: A man can be hired to do anything in this world for another man but make a decision for him!
: Lesson number one - never touch a man in desperation, in anger or in fear. A real woman, a proper female kind of woman tries to perpetuate the legend that her touch is as rare as a fine jewel. That it's given only to a very special person at a very special moment. Lydia Moss
: That doesn't make sense. It's not even practical. Paladin
: Lesson number two - forget all about logic.
: Do I have to be a liar to be a woman? Paladin
: You'll know when a moment for honesty comes and it'll make truth out of every illusion you've created.
: Miss Moss. Here are your robes. I believe you're about ready to graduate. Paladin
: Miss Moss. Here are your robes. I believe you're about ready to graduate.
: Well, I think your fiance might agree that this money was fairly earned. Lydia Moss
: Maybe you just should have just stayed in San Francisco and not butted in at all. Paladin
: Now that kind of remark calls for a very special kind of an answer and I wish I could think of it.
: Thaddeus. If you're gonna track mud in, you're gonna sweep it out too, dear. Paladin
: Hmm. Now I feel better. Whom God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.
: Ofttimes, the fruit of the vine will lend surcease to the pain of the mind.
: Gorman, about that Lucky 13. There's a legend that when the world began there were thirteen gods. Only twelve of them were acquainted with one another. So, to learn the stranger's identity, they invited him to a banquette. And to their everlasting sorrow he came. The thirteenth god was Death.
: After a couple of days, when you two really get thirst, don't look back to find me. Look up. Above you. The buzzards will tell you how near the end is.
: Something I can do for you? Paladin
: Yes, you could give me some information - like who you are, and where you're going, and why? Howard Gorman
: That's a lot of information to give to a stranger. Paladin
: My name is Paladin. Howard Gorman
: You're still a stranger to me. But I don't mind telling you, I'm Howard Gorman.
: Mr. Gorman, why are you following us? Howard Gorman
: Why would anybody want to follow you? Paladin
: I'll know the answer to that when I have the answers to my other questions.
: Well now, I've heard of you. Twelve men, isn't it? Howard Gorman
: E-yeah. And maybe I better start thinking about adding that lucky thirteenth.
: You've got no complaint, Mr. Paladin. You were well paid. Paladin
: For what? For killing a man in a sideshow?
: Why are you doing this, Paladin? Paladin
: Because it's necessary. Shawcross
: Same as murder. Paladin
: I'm sure you two gentlemen are much better qualified to define murder than I am.
: Alright, Morgan. Now carry Shawcross back over here to the buckboard. Sid Morgan
: He's dead. Paladin
: Well, that's too bad. We'll need the body anyway. This time you're not beyond the law. I'm taking you back to stand trial for murder. Sid Morgan
: You come near and I'll kill ya.
: An empty gun can tell a man a lot of things.
: I'm terribly sorry about it, old friend, but my hotel has very strict rules about pets.
: In various countries I've been served sheep eyes, roast dog and stewed lizard. Compared to this, they were a bargain.
: Did you come here to pass the time of day or talk business? Billy-Joe Kane
: Well, fine. Direct and to the point. You're the kind of man I like. Paladin
: I can't say the same.
: You're a strange mixture, Kane. So far you've gotten what you want without violence, without really breaking the law. But you're being pushed now, and I wonder what that'll do to you. Billy-Joe Kane
: When I want moralizing, Mister, I'll hire me a preacher. Paladin
: No, you won't. There's no immediate profit in it.
: So far, I've seen you lie, cheat, steal, and try murder. You tried everything but begging. Now get down on your knees, Billy Joe.
: If I had the money, I wouldn't hire you. I don't hold with men who follow the gun. Paladin
: I agree, Mr. Whitehorse, it's not a practical profession.
: Does a gunslinger come high, Mr. Paladin? Paladin
: Well, Mrs. Whitehorse, I do have expensive tastes.
: Molybdenum has been known for centuries. Looks somewhat like white iron, can be found anywhere in the world. As a matter of fact, Pliny wrote about molybdenum when he was in the employ of the Emperor Nero. Now there was a man of prejudice! He kept lions for the people he didn't like.
: Never draw in anger, Mr. McNally. It slows the hand.
: Well, I'm sorry to have given you some bad moments, but it's very difficult to conspire with an honest man.
: Oh, Mr. Paladin, you had a very close call. Paladin
: Well, fortunately, the close ones don't count.
: Some friendships are like a good wine; a wise man let's them age before sampling.
: Some good wines are better slightly chilled.
: Respect can be as contagious as measles if it's properly spread around.
: Respect is important to all men. Some will even risk death for it.
: I think we came out just about even. The marshal has your gratitude and I have your money.
: I've been offered a dozen good ways to get myself killed since I came to this town. Now I'm gonna make a few offers myself.
: Of course, I could have drawn on you while you were lighting that cigar. Jockey
: You must be a stranger. No one around here draws on the Jockey. I could light another match if *you'd* like to try it.
: You can have it any way you want it, gentlemen.
: Got any gold on ya? Paladin
: Small filling in the back molar. Casey Bryan
: Get moving. Paladin
: That's all? Casey Bryan
: What do you want, a bath? Get movin'.
: This ain't no mob. They're witnesses. Paladin
: Witnesses to what? Jockey
: To the fact that you drew on me and I killed you in self-defense.
: I have one bullet left, Mr. Breed. You may draw when you're ready.
: There is one wild thing that man will never civilize. Woman!
: You ain't gonna learn me nothing'! Paladin
: That's correct. I'm going to teach you; you'll do the learning.
: First, you wouldn't be worth two cents to the show as a lady, and second, it would be impossible in the first place.
: The store sold me a lot of cross-ropes and, and lashin's to go underneath. It woulda cinched me in like a saddle; I figured I didn't need it. Paladin
: Obviously. But it's not considered polite to discuss undergarments.
: Oh, are the Irish so bad? Renato Donatello
: What kind of savages would drink whiskey made from potatoes?
: I will go up there and crush that savage! Paladin
: No you won't. No. That's my job.
: Would you shoot an unarmed scaloppini?
: That's Omar Khayyám again. Renato Donatello
: Is it? Paladin
: Fitzgerald translation.
: A pretty girl completes a beautiful morning.
: We'll do business with the devil if he's a man we need. Paladin
: You were just interviewing one of his assistants.
: Mr. Ritchie, I never use this gun unless I have to. That's why you'll find my fee somewhat high.
: A gunfighter. Paladin
: I don't care for that term. Mike O'Hare
: Well, what do you know. A sensitive gunfighter.
: Well, here it is. Some of us feel by rights you should split it. Barber
: You couldn't have done it alone. Paladin
: I didn't say I could. But since Melisssa has your guns and your pledges and that's all she asked for, I will accept your money since that's all I asked for. Melissa Griffin
: That's fair I suppose but of course I don't have your pledge. Barber
: Ain't you going her way? Paladin
: Heraclitus says that all ways are the same way. And it could be that he's right.
: You are beautiful. And your faith is beautiful, but sometimes the essence of beauty is its fragility. And Bugbear is not a good place to test it. Melissa Griffin
: Are you afraid of a test? Paladin
: No. Melissa Griffin
: Neither am I.
: Perhaps we could strike some kind of compromise. I make it a practice never to wear a gun when I'm having dinner with a lady. Melissa Griffin
: Perhaps that's just when you should keep your powder dry, Mr. Paladin.
: Well, you are a woman of great determination. Melissa Griffin
: Does that frighten you? It's frightened every other man. Paladin
: No. But I do puzzle about you. Melissa Griffin
: Perhaps you imagine me leading the martyrs into the Colosseum. Paladin
: Oh, no. I should be very concerned for the lions in that case.
: Doctor, I'd rather waste my time than your life.
: In the words of Sam Clemens, "Only the ignorant can meet out unsullied justice."
: As Jefferson says, The tree of liberty must from time to time be watered with the blood of tyrants.
: I didn't come here to bushwhack you, but to challenge you to a duel. You didn't kill me last night when you had the opportunity, so I take it you also consider yourself a gentleman. Shall we settle it like gentlemen? Smoke
: In the books there's a name for your kind. Yes, a paladin - a knight in shining armor, armed with a righteous cause and a lance.
: Fused silica, lime, treated with mercury, polished, and in it a man can see what he is, and what he was.
: Mr. Jefferson, if men have a common factor, it seems to me it's their ability to err. If a man's mistakes determine what he was, then what he does about those mistakes should determine what he is.
: [giving his code of law
] Thou shalt not kill a man unless he's armed and facing you; thou shalt not steal a man's house; thou shalt not rob at gun point.
: Don't you think you ought to allow the decent people to keep enough.arms to defend themselves?
: You say nobody can carry guns in this town, so the only people who have guns are the outlaw scum who will continue to come through here. You can't protect the people in this town. But you take away the only means they have of defending themselves.
: I'm taking you back to Laramie. Manfred Holt
: To be hung at a county fair while they hawk buttons off my shirt. Thanks.
: Well, unfortunately, you can't be allowed to go around killing everybody you don't like. Manfred Holt
: Yeah, it does sound like I got me some bad habits.
: Oh and, Paladin, don't try anything fancy like wingin' a shoulder or the leg. You know, a man like me you either kill or he kills you. Paladin
: I know. Manfred Holt
: That pump; when the next drop of water falls.
: Thank you Decker. Tim Decker
: Thank me? Paladin
: A man like me tends to forget how many different ways there are to show courage. I have no idea how I'd stand up to a ten-year old boy. I thank you.
: Voltaire once said it is a heavy burden to bear a name that is too famous.
: Paladin - I want the Bradleys. Whatever else you believe, believe that. Paladin
: If I believe that, then I have to look someplace else for the reason you're doing everything wrong, don't I?
: Paladin, I don't suppose you can stop it. Paladin
: Monica, the shadow a man stands on at noon seems to rise up and meet him at evening. I don't whether I can stop that.
: He who sharpens the tooth of the wolf dies by its bite. You might think on that Dink.
: The memory of Monica kept Ben Turner alive for a 1000 years. I do hope you're more fortunate, Reagan.
: You know, until a few moments ago I was feeling very superior to a Chinese friend of mine. I forgot that he came by his superstitions honestly; he learned them from the cradle. I can't find any such excuse for you.
: Ignorant and prejudiced people like to be deceived. Why confuse them with the truth?
: It's no great tragic thing to remain a child. Theirs is the best age. Paladin
: Their world is mysterious, wonderful, half real, half make-believe... Paladin
: Mr Bella, the world we live in is not always so pleasant.
: Now that's a very apt toast. To the discomfort of our enemies.
: A fight over a woman usually starts with the woman.
: May I offer you my best wishes and trouble you for my two-thousand dollars, please?
: An Austrian tourist. And perhaps pope was right. "He's armed without who's innocent within."
: Go home. Go home to your castle and lock the door and practice dip the knee to your princely heart's content. But don't stay here. Don't stay here unless you're prepared to sacrifice your illusions, and possibly even your life. Duke Franz
: I will double your fee. Paladin
: It's not a question of money. Duke Franz
: Then what? Paladin
: It's an old aversion to helping people make fools of themselves.
: Well, this is the night when some people pretend there is no evil in the world.
: With this gun, I could have stopped murder tonight. But I've taken it off. That's my present to you. In all my life I've only seen a dozen real killers, but I've seen ten thousand people that would stand by and let it happen. Which is the greater evil?
Martha Jane Conroy
: What happened to me? Well, what do you think? Paladin
: As I remember it, you never drank while you were working. Martha Jane Conroy
: That was before Ned Blackstock took to looking for younger women. Paladin
: Oh, then you resigned to the bottle and Ned had to find himself another girl. Martha Jane Conroy
: Well you know, we all ain't got but one life to waste.
: Jane, I have heard of doctors who consider drinking a sickness. Martha Jane Conroy
: And what do I pay them with? The grateful sigh of a pure maiden?
: Boy. You just made a choice. Don't force me to make one.
: Sky Blue. Where it started and ended. Paladin
: And in between the bird of time had but a little way to flutter. And the bird is on the wing.
Dr. Phyllis Thackeray
: When was the last time you slept? Paladin
: I was too young to remember.
: You're defying the will of Mulrooney. Here Mulrooney, you show these sheep how you practice the art of righteousness! Storekeeper Jonas
: But Paladin, they're diseased. We've got to protect ourselves. Paladin
: They're not as diseased as you are. You may be able to do this. You may be able to keep them out of your community, but you'll carry your sickness with you wherever you go. As long as you live, you'll die every time you see a baby smile.
: Where I come from, Mr. Paladin, there's a word for a cheap trick like that: showboating. Paladin
: I have another name for it. Salesmanship.
: We can't be too careful in the choice of our enemies. Oscar Wilde
: Don't you know, that sounds like something I might have said myself, old bean. Paladin
: You will, Mr. Wilde.
: Well, at the best there are Indians and wolves and snow over your head a good part of the time. Hunger, loneliness, danger of falling off your horse when you're alone. Flash floods in the spring, marauders and all the great unknowns of living and still Bartlett, it isn't as if you were alone.
: Some time come back. Paladin
: Sometime perhaps. When the name and the face no longer evoke a sting of memory but only the knowledge that a pledge long broken has finally been healed.
: Without teachers, every generation would have to start by discovering fire and inventing the wheel.
: Start. What are you waiting for? You've got a gun in that holster. You have two good hands; you're standing on your own two feet. What more do you want? Want an edge?
: On the contrary, I have the highest regard for the statutes. Including some you won't find in that book there. One of them, survival. When you lose on that count friend, there's no appeal.
: Justice discards party, friendship and kindred. Paladin
: You will agree to remember at all times please that I'm a lady. Paladin
: Well, your mother knew something they apparently are not teaching young ladies at schools in the East these days. The quickest way to bring out the worst in a man is to make certain it's there.
: Reverand. Wasn't it McCaulay who said there is a universal solvent that dissolves all riddles. Its name is truth.
Baron Otto von Albrecht
: Do not let these alarm you Mr. Paladin. When I am on a horse, its legs become mine. I rode before I walked. Paladin
: Well, other men had first to crawl. Baron Otto von Albrecht
: You are a paradox Sir Paladin. A gentleman knight who risks lance and life for people he dislikes or even hates to get enough money to pamper his expensive tastes. At the very best or least my dear Paladin, you are a spiritual assasin. Paladin
: You do take advantage of your years old man. Baron Otto von Albrecht
: D take every advantage. And why not? I am the creation of all the von Albrechts who ever lived. In a sense I am 600 years old. Six centuries of breeding and tradition. Paladin
: Well, when the meek finally do inherit the earth, my very strong conviction is that none of your bloodline will flow in the veins of the property owners. Excuse me.
Baron Otto von Albrecht
: When he was very young, he was a quiet boy. 600 years for this! The hope of a great name, destroyed. Dead in the dirt of a strange land. Now, I am the very last of the von Albrechts. Do you understand what I am saying? Paladin
: "Well may the children weep before you. They know the grief of man without its wisdom. They sink in man's dispair without its calm." Baron Otto von Albrecht
: Who's fault Paladin? Paladin
: That's a question each man will have to answer for himself.
: This gun is your safe passage.
: Guns are my business.
: You tried to get me killed, but I FORGIVE you!
: I sometimes think that all good men are afraid. It's also been said that fear is the beginning of wisdom.
: And when they fell before the thunder, it was as when the lordly redwood, green with boughs, goes down with a great shout upon the hills, and leaves a lonesome place against the sky.
: Then perhaps you know what these are? Paladin
: Yes. They are used to measure what Lombroso has termed the stigmata of degeneracy - certain cranial abnormalities, a low sensitivity to pain, primitive instincts found in cannibals, cave dwellers, apes, animals and habitual murderers - in short, the mark of Cain. Dr. Avatar
: And that is why I have come back to America. Paladin
: Oh. A shortage of murderers in Europe this year? Dr. Avatar
: There's never a shortage of wife killers - murders of passion, momentary rage, that sort of thing. My interest is in the habitual murderer. The man who kills 10, 20, 30 people. For him it is not circumstance, or unrequited love, or even small prejudice that drives him to kill. No sir. With him it is constitution. He cannot help himself. And that is the mark of Cain. Paladin
: And that is what you hope to find in the wild west? Dr. Avatar
: Well, sir, in the words of Lacassagne, societies get the criminals they deserve. Paladin
: And what will you do with one if you catch him? Dr. Avatar
: I shall make a detailed record of his skull measurements and his reflexes. Ah my. The James boys. The Daltons. Cherokee Bill, Jake Trueblood, Tom Horn! The very names come rolling off the tongue like thunder. How long I've dreamt of meeting some of them face to face. Paladin
: The only one of that bunch that's left alive is Jake Trueblood and you don't want him. Dr. Avatar
: Why not? He's on my list. He's practically the head of it. Paladin
: Jake's not a murderer. He's never killed anyone. Except in a fair fight. Dr. Avatar
: Perhaps so, but after 20 or 30 times would you not agree that a pattern tends to emerge? Paladin
: What makes you think Jake will let you get that close to his skull? Dr. Avatar
: For $1,000, Mr. Paladin, I expect you to arrange the details.
: In ancient days, the barbers were also surgeons. This is the nineteenth century, and if I want any blood let I'll get a doctor to do it.
: Now talk! Paladin
: If I do, I'm gonna make a real loud noise... and a big hole - more than one if necessary, gentlemen.
Marshal Jim Buell
: They won't understand. Paladin
: They understand. And I understand. 23 years of intimacy with the misery and madness of men, wrappping bodies in ponchos and kicking dust over the blood, telling a wife you just shot her husband or a father that his son must hang and telling yourself the law will be done no matter what the personal pain, anguish. I understand that 23 years of anguish, torture can twist a man. The ironic thing, marshal, is that only the very best survive long enough to break.
General Largo Ortega
: Who overcomes by force have overcome but half his foe. Maybe Shelley was right. Paladin
: I think perhaps he was. But I think it was Milton.
: I see... The wise hawk conceals his claws. Paladin
: And the wise man, his Wisdom.
: A woman of valor, who shall find? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband trusteth her and he has no lack of gain. She doeth him good and not evil all the days of her life.
: Somebody has to take care of small children and stubborn women.
: None is so blind as he who will not see.
: [preparing to beat up Jud Polk
] If this is a sin, I'm going to enjoy it more than any other I ever committed.
: Major, let me set the record straight. I did not come here for old school gossip, to sing class songs, or to discuss personal affairs, past or present. If you have a problem, please detail it, and I'll name a price.
: You hired my time, Brennan. Nobody hires me.
: I have found no book on bravery, no formula for courage. I think perhaps a man is valiant only when his fear of cowardice exceeds his fear of death.
: Your husband was a sea captain? Sarah
: A sea captain? He hauled garbage from Galveston to the breakwater, and he'd come home smelling of it.
: Draw. Paladin
: In due time, Mr. Coe.
: The good die young so they may not be corrupted and the wicked live on so they may have a chance to repent.
: What if I say that I love you? Paladin
: I might believe it. And some night when my back made a convenient target, you might forget it.
: [to Ben Tyler
] You are going back with me, either sitting in a saddle or lying across it.
: Heaven help us what men do in the name of good.
: Montaigne Man does not need the mortar of truth to seal up the private prisons of his fear.
: I feel rather sorry for B.G. Paladin
: Oh? Diana Coulter
: It's the first time anybody's made him look foolish. Paladin
: Man who needs twenty guns to get his bride to the altar I'd call that a lot worse than foolish. Diana Coulter
: He's not a bad man really, if it wasn't for that monstrous vanity and ambition. Paladin
: "Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall." And those are the qualities I'm counting on to get us out of here alive.
: Double-cross is a very ambiguous sign; it points in eight different directions all at once.
: He was a man, take him all in all. I shall not look upon his kind again.
: I seldom forget a face or a sum of money.
Andre - Hotel Carlton Chef
: Monsieur Paladin. My great masterpiece now will be garbage. Paladin
: Console yourself Andre. Your sun will rise again tomorrow morning - there will be more zucchini blossoms. But Charlie Blackburn won't see them.
: I'm very partial to combinations of three.
: Well Armstedder, she didn't always have to hustle drinks in a bar. Sheriff John Armstedder
: You know her 100 years ago mister? Paladin
: I guess it was that long ago. Sheriff John Armstedder
: sour truth? Still, she looks sweet enough to be honey for Jalisco.
: He who takes the wrong road, makes the journey twice.
: Tis a foolish thing dwelling 'neath a roof of glass to stone thy neighbors as they pass Don Quixote 1605