Officer Francis Muldoon
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Quotes for
Officer Francis Muldoon (Character)
from "Car 54, Where Are You?" (1961)

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Car 54, Where Are You? (1994)
Officer Gunther Toody: My dog moans every time Mets are losing the game...
Officer Francis Muldoon: What is he doing when they win?
Officer Gunther Toody: I don't know - I have him only 2 years...

Officer Gunther Toody: Luthers, this is my new partner Francis Muldoon, the pride of the 53rd.
Luther #1: Hello, Muldoon. We're Luther. How are you doing. What are you packing?
Officer Francis Muldoon: I'm packing a 9mm Beretta in my shoulder holster and a Walther PPK in my back pocket.
Luther #1: You know what you need? A nice little crotch derringer. All it does is...
[Luther 1 pulls it out, and Muldoon goes for his gun]
Officer Gunther Toody: No, no, no! It's all right!
Luther #1: [to Muldoon] Keep it in your pants. What? Little more sneaky? Look at this. All you gotta do is, now listen carefully. Write this down, rent the movie Taxi Driver. It'll show you how to take part of a drawer to make this pop right up. You just go like this. "Suck on this!" He would be dead. He would just double over and die. He would be dead. There would be a hole right through him. You'd kill your perp right away. Take a look at this. Nice little gun. You want something bigger?
[Luther 2 pulls out a large Colt .45 revolver]
Luther #1: Want a bigger gun? There you go. For most people it would make their day. With that jacket it would make your whole week. And if you ever got sick of police work, watch. You can put it in your mouth and pull the trigger with your thumb. Check it out. Even bigger? OK, okay, bigger! You want bigger? We got bigger!
[Luther 2 pulls out a military issued M-60 light machine gun]
Luther #1: Here it is! The M-60! You can do forestry with this Rambo baby!
[Toody and Muldoon walk off]
Luther #1: Wait, wait, wait a minute! He's your partner? We got the perfect little things for your partner! The perfect thing. We're partners, you know.
[Luther 2 pulls out a pair of flintlock pistols]
Luther #1: Watch this! It's great!
[two gunshots are heard]


"Car 54, Where Are You?: Today I Am a Man (#1.24)" (1962)
Officer Leo Schnauser: There's a lot riding on this bet-It's six to one Carolyn Kennedy will have a date before you!
Officer Francis Muldoon: All right, have your fun!


"Car 54, Where Are You?: Je T'Adore Muldoon (#2.15)" (1962)
Officer Francis Muldoon: [staring into the locker room mirror] Gunther, tell me the truth. Do I have a horse face? I mean, is it the kind of face girls go for?
Officer Gunther Toody: Of course.
Officer Francis Muldoon: Thanks.
Officer Gunther Toody: After all, everybody loved Black Beauty!


"Car 54, Where Are You?: I've Been Here Before (#2.25)" (1963)
Officer Francis Muldoon: The Inspector said that one detective in a thousand has the natural ability to analyze cases that Gunther has.
Officer Gunther Toody: I don't understand it, myself. It was like a movie. The whole case suddenly appeared in my head.
Lucille Toody: Why not? There's enough room up there for Cinerama.
Officer Gunther Toody: Do you mind?