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: It's not easy to replace a girl like Schultzy. Charmaine 'Schultzy' Schultz
: Thanks. Bob Collins
: I've had to search high and low. Margaret MacDonald
: By high he means Mulholland and by low he means Pismo Beach.
Charmaine 'Schultzy' Schultz
: Boss, I better stay on a few days and teach the new gal the office routine. Bob Collins
: Oh no, that won't be necessary. I'll take care of it. Charmaine 'Schultzy' Schultz
: She won't know what to do about the bookkeeping and filing. Bob Collins
: Oh, well, I'll show her. Charmaine 'Schultzy' Schultz
: Who'll show her what to do in the dark room? Bob Collins
: ...Would you like to withdraw that question? Charmaine 'Schultzy' Schultz
[Margaret is vacuuming in the kitchen
] Bob Collins
: Do you mind, Margaret? I've been listening to a vacuum all morning. Margaret MacDonald
: How is Crazy Lips? Bob Collins
: Oh, brother. Margaret MacDonald
: Well, you can't have everything and she has a very nice figure. Bob Collins
: Yeah, that she has, that she has... 36-23-36-23. Margaret MacDonald
: What's that last 23? Bob Collins
: Her IQ.
: I just wondered if Schultzy was happy? Margaret MacDonald
: You just wondered if you could get her back, that's all, 'cause you goofed and picked a lemon. Bob Collins
: Boy, a lemon is right. I had no idea when I squeezed her last night how sour things were going to be today.
: I'm no stableboy. I'm a pilot and a colonel! Air Policeman
: Okay, colonel - pile it!
: You the same two girls I saw come through the front office? Collette DuBois
: Oui. Model
: Mm-hmm. Grandpa Collins
: Whaddya do with you figures? Leave 'em in the dressing room? Model
: These styles aren't very revealing. This is a sack Grandpa Collins
: Sacks are for potatos, not tomatos.
: He wouldn't be where he is now if it wasn't for me. Model
: For heaven's sake, where is he? Grandpa Collins
: On top, that's where he is, on top. I taught him the three F's - flirtin', flyin' and photographin'
: My cupboards are full of food! Bob Collins
: Of which you are the chief consumer! If you'd get out of the kitchen and into the world, you might broaden your mind instead of your... Margaret MacDonald
: All right!
[discussing Margaret's son, Chuck
] Bob Collins
: He's a man. And if you'd get off the griddle and into a girdle, you might catch one, too!
: I'll have you know that the health club said in one month, I'd have the figure of an 18-year-old girl. Bob Collins
: The health... Well, don't take it - you'd only stretch it out of shape like you've done to this one!
: I couldn't help but notice how popular you are with the girls. Bob Collins
: Well, I understand there are ten girls on board for every man. Flash Gruskin
: Have you seen anything of my ten?
] Bob Collins
: Silence! Can't you see I'm being a genius? Charmaine 'Schultzy' Schultz
: You *are* a genius, boss. Bob Collins
: I really was. Wasn't I, Schultz?
] Bill Lear
: Bob, I don't say there are saucers and I don't say there aren't. All I say is come along this afternoon and bring your camera. Bob Collins
: Oh? Come where, Bill? Bill Lear
: The Griffith Park Observatory. That's where the last sightings were made. Bob Collins
: [pointing to a woman on a chaise lounge
] Let's face it, this is the only kind of heavenly body I photograph. Bill Lear
: That's because you want to be alone with a beautiful girl. Bob Collins
: That's right - I prefer a dish to a saucer.