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Quotes for
Roger Ebert (Character)
from "Pinky and the Brain" (1995)

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"The Critic: Siskel & Ebert & Jay & Alice (#2.2)" (1995)
Roger Ebert: [Showing Jay a photo album] Here's Gene and me on Splash Mountain. Here we are winning the three-legged-race. And here's the Halloween we went as Ernie and Bert.
Jay Sherman: Shouldn't we get to work?
Roger Ebert: Sure, Gene. Anything you say.
Jay Sherman: You called me Gene.
Roger Ebert: I'm sorry, Gene. I'll never do it again... Gene.
Jay Sherman: My name is Jay, and I need some air!
[Runs off sobbing]
Jay Sherman: I'm not Gene!

[after Jay organizes Siskel and Ebert's reconciliation and the lights in the building opposite the Empire State Building illuminate into the shape of a pink heart]
Roger Ebert: Oh, this is just a rip-off of Sleepless in Seattle.
Gene Siskel: Which was in itself a rip-off of An Affair to Remember.
Roger Ebert, Gene Siskel: Which wasn't that good of a movie to start with.

Gene Siskel: [singing] The Moonlight on his hair.
Roger Ebert: [singing] The Twinkle in his eye.
Gene Siskel: [singing] The Way he said 'Thumbs Up'.
Roger Ebert: [singing] The Way he said 'Thumbs Down'.
Gene Siskel, Roger Ebert: [singing together] The Way he said 'Goodbye... '

Gene Siskel: Well, I thought that film was very poignant. Particularly the scene where Tom Cruise walks around Las Vegas with a bucket full of his brother.
Roger Ebert: Aw, c'mon, Gene. That was just another pointless sequel that didn't have to be made.
Gene Siskel: This, from the man who liked 'Benji the Hunted?'
Roger Ebert: Hey, you liked 'Carnosaur!'
Gene Siskel: Well I'll bet you'll like this!
[punches are thrown, Siskel grabs a bottle, smashes it in half and points it at Ebert]
Gene Siskel: Hasta la vista, Porky!
Roger Ebert: Cue ball in the side pocket!
[punches thrown]

[Jay plays his answering machine]
Gene Siskel: [on machine] Hey, Jay! It's Gene Siskel. I've decided I'd like YOU to be my partner. Let me know if you're game so I can tell Rex Reed to get lost.
[beep]
Roger Ebert: [on machine] Jay, it's Roger Ebert. How'd you like to be my new partner? Give me a call so I can get Rex Reed out of my hair.
[beep]
Rex Reed: [on machine] Jay, it's Rex Reed. I don't care if you got the job. I've got a NEW partner.
[a monkey screeches on the tape]
Rex Reed: [on machine, proudly] That's right, Pauline Kael!


"Animaniacs: Critical Condition/The Three Muska-Warners (#1.36)" (1993)
Slappy Squirrel: [Disguised as a cashier at a concession stand] May I help you, or did the Goodyear blimp just land?
Codger Eggbert: Ha ha! Give me a large tub of popcorn, and hurry.
Slappy Squirrel: There ya go, Shamu. You want artificial butter flavoring on that?
Codger Eggbert: Sure.
Slappy Squirrel: Alright then.
Codger Eggbert: Does it cost extra?
Slappy Squirrel: Artificial butter? Nah, it's cheap stuff.
Codger Eggbert: Really? What's it made of?
Slappy Squirrel: Ah, it's just lard... that I'm liposuctioning out of your gut!
Skippy Squirrel: Spew!