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: Can you imagine what this man would be like had anyone ever loved him?
: [to Chairman Mao
] Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
Richard M. Nixon
: [on TV
] ... because people have got to know whether or not their President is a crook. Well, I am not a crook. Henry Kissinger
: Oh, God, I think I'm going to throw up.
: If they harass you, I too would resign, and I would tell the world why. Richard M. Nixon
: Don't be stupid. The world needs you, Henry.
: If a Rockefeller can't be the President of the United States then what is the point of democracy? Richard M. Nixon
: The point of democracy is that even the son of a grocer can become president. Nelson Rockefeller
: And you came damn close, Dick. How are you? Richard M. Nixon
: Hi, John. Nelson Rockefeller
: New York treating you all right? I'm sorry I haven't been able to see you at all. Richard M. Nixon
: You're looking happy. Nelson Rockefeller
: Happy, Happy, Dick Nixon. You remember him. Happy Rockefeller
: Nice to see you again. Richard M. Nixon
: You're obviously making him happy. Nelson Rockefeller
: Repartee, Dick. That's marvelous.
Henry Kissinger's Head
: Young man, you have the courage of a hero. And the breath of a fresh summer ham.
Richard Nixon's Head
: Accompaning you will be our top peace negotiator, Henry Kissinger. Henry Kissinger's Head
: How are you? Bender
: Is he any good? Richard Nixon's Head
: Looking like that, he talked his way into Jill St. John's bed. Enough said.
: The elders tell of a young ball much like you. He bounced three meters in the air, then he bounced 1.8 meters in the air, then he bounced four meters in the air. Do I make myself clear? Henry Kissinger's Head
: Mister Ambassador, our people tell the same story.
Henry Kissinger's Head
: Young man, you have the courage of a hero. And breath as fresh as a summer ham.
: Excuse me, Mr. President. I was not informed that you were in the middle of... what the hell ARE you in the middle of?
: It's alright, gentlemen. I'm familiar with these two young ladies. Well, not "familiar", familiar, obviously.
: I'll take responsibility here. I'll be the only person in this administration who's willing to take responsibility for anything.
: Bold moves, Henry. That's what's needed right now. We can't let these fuckers think we're weak! Henry Kissinger
] Yes. They must fear the madman Richard Nixon.
: Thank you for visiting our plant, Dr. Kissinger. Henry Kissinger
: It was fun. Smithers
: We'll let you know if your glasses turn up. Henry Kissinger
: Yes, well, I'm sure I left them in the car.
] Henry Kissinger
: No one must know I dropped my glasses in the toilet. Not I, the man who drafted the Paris Peace Accords.