Prince Charles
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Quotes for
Prince Charles (Character)
from Charles and Diana: Unhappily Ever After (1992) (TV)

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The Queen (2006)
HM Queen Elizabeth II: [Charles comes into the room during news report] Charles, isn't this awful?
[long pause]
HM Queen Elizabeth II: What are you going to do about the boys?
Prince Charles: Let them sleep until we know more.
HM Queen Elizabeth II: Yes, that's sensible.
Prince Charles: I should go to Paris, I told my people to start organizing a jet.
HM Queen Elizabeth II: What, a private one?
Prince Charles: Yes.
HM Queen Elizabeth II: Isn't that precisely the sort of extravagance they always attack us for?
Prince Charles: How else am I supposed to get to Paris at this time? The airport at Aberdeen will be closed and...
HM The Queen Mother: Charles dear, use the Royal Flight; they keep one plane on permanent standby, in case I should kick the bucket.
HM Queen Elizabeth II: No, Mummy, that's out of the question; this isn't a matter of State.
Prince Charles: What are you talking about?
HM Queen Elizabeth II: Diana's no longer a member of the Royal Family, she's not an HRH, this is a private matter!
Prince Charles: She's mother to your grandchildren!
HM The Queen Mother: What is happening now?
Prince Philip: I don't know; I can't hear, everyone shouting!

Prince Charles: They're going back to sleep, or try anyways. My private secretary office have found a travel agency out in New York that will sell me a flight to Paris, with a hour stop over in Manchester. Perhaps now you might like to consider whether it's still an extravagance to bring back the mother of the future king of England. In one of our planes.

Prince Charles: Why is it? Why do they hate us so?
HM Queen Elizabeth II: Not *us,* dear.
Prince Charles: What?
HM Queen Elizabeth II: Hmm?


Whatever Love Means (2005) (TV)
[In Camilla's flat afer their first date. Charles's detective is waiting in the car outside]
Camilla Parker-Bowles: How long does that chappie have to wait outside?
Prince Charles: As long as I'm in here.
Camilla Parker-Bowles: So what do we do - send out food and drink at regular intervals? Or do they bring in supplies from the Palace? I suppose you've had all these jokes before.
Prince Charles: Well, most people are a *little* more circumspect.
Camilla Parker-Bowles: Circumspect?
Prince Charles: One gets very used to being called "Sir".
Camilla Parker-Bowles: But you told me not to. Look, I *do* know about royal bloody protocol, Charles. Do you know who my grandmother was? My great grandmother, actually. She was your great great grandfather's mistress, Charles. And do you know what she said her job was? She said "My job is to curtsy to the King first... then jump into bed with him!"
Prince Charles: Did she really?
Camilla Parker-Bowles: Yes she did.
[Camilla looks longingly and seductively at Charles]
Prince Charles: Are you by any chance saying what I think you're saying?
Camilla Parker-Bowles: Put it this way, Charles. I'm buggered if I'm curtsying.


"The Queen: The Enemy Within (#1.4)" (2009)
[Charles and Diana are at an event and Diana is eating items from the buffet. Charles refers to Diana's bulimia]
Prince Charles: [unsympathetically] Will we be seeing that food again?


"Saturday Night Live: Madonna/Simple Minds (#11.1)" (1985)
Princess Diana: [quite tipsy] When will you understand that I am a person? That I am not some thing... that I am me, a person, and not just some thing. That you can't treat me like some thing. Because I am not a thing. I am a person, so treat me like a person and not a thing, because that is what I am. A person. Me.
[buries her face against Ronald Reagan's broad chest]
Ronald Reagan: Well, that pretty much says it all.
Prince Charles: [stands up, walks to Diana] Oh darling, you poor thing.


"The Simpsons: To Surveil, with Love (#21.20)" (2010)
Nigel Baker-Butcher: [as Homer and Ned Flanders destroy all the surveilance cameras in Springfield] Thus ends the most popular reality television show in Britain.
Queen Elizabeth: [Cut to the throneroom of Buckingham Palace, where it is revealed the footage from the Springfield surveilance cameras has been streamed over to England as a reality TV show. Her majesty watches as the transmission is cut] Well, too bad. Although I will miss that Ralph Wiggum child. He reminds me of my boy.
Prince Charles: [Prince Charles walks in holding a cat sitting on a cushion] Mummy, my cat's breath smells like cat food.


"Family Guy: Viewer Mail #2 (#10.22)" (2012)
Stewie Griffin: Ah, the best part of waiting for the Queen to show up is calling Prince Charles a Wanker as he goes past. Oh, Prince Charles? You're a Wanker!
Prince Charles: Yes, yes, I know, yes.
Various: You're a wanker!
Various: Wanker!
Prince Charles: Yes, yes, well done.
Various: Wanker!
Prince Charles: Yes, quite right.