The Doctor
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Quotes for
The Doctor (Character)
from "Star Trek: Voyager" (1995)

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"Star Trek: Voyager: Message in a Bottle (#4.14)" (1998)
EMH #2: Yes! Yes, yes, yes, you're the Mark I EMH, the inferior program!
The Doctor: [indignantly] Inferior?
EMH #2: Beady eyes, terrible bedside manner; I recognize you.

The Doctor: Three more ships are approaching.
EMH #2: We're doomed!
The Doctor: No. They're Starfleet!
[Prometheus is rocked by a phaser hit]
EMH #2: What are they doing?
The Doctor: Firing on us!
EMH #2: They must think Romulans are on board!
The Doctor: They're right!

The Doctor: [on the bridge of the Starship Prometheus] I've had my share of piloting experience. Actually, only two lessons; and they were in a shuttlecraft, on the holodeck. But I showed great intuition.
[he looks around, puzzled]
The Doctor: Where's the helm?
EMH #2: You'd better intuit it fast. We're only about eight minutes from the Romulan border.

The Doctor: I'm as close to a sentient life-form as any hologram could hope to be. I socialize with the crew, fraternize with aliens. I've even had sexual relations.
EMH #2: Sex? How's that possible? We're not equipped...
The Doctor: Let's just say, I made an addition to my program.
EMH #2: Before you leave, maybe you could download those subroutines into my database.
The Doctor: We'll see.

EMH #2: Doctor, some... thing just went offline.
The Doctor: Specifically?
EMH #2: The secondary gyrodyne relays in the propulsion field intermatrix have depolarized.
The Doctor: In English!
EMH #2: I'm just reading what it says here.

The Doctor: Stop breathing down my neck!
EMH #2: My breathing is merely a simulation.
The Doctor: So is my neck. Stop it anyway!

The Doctor: Refresh my memory. Which of us has the terrible bedside manner?
EMH #2: You're not my patient.
The Doctor: My first bit of good news.

Captain Kathryn Janeway: Good luck, Doctor.
The Doctor: There's that word again.

Cmdr. Rekar: What else have you done to this ship? I will deactivate you unless you start answering my questions.
The Doctor: If I answer them, you'll very likely deactivate me anyway, so I fail to see the point.

Cmdr. Rekar: Tell me who is operating your program. Is it someone on this ship? A Starfleet crew member we missed? Or one of my own men?
The Doctor: Paranoia is a way of life for you, isn't it?

The Doctor: When I requested more away missions, this isn't exactly what I had in mind.

The Doctor: I need to know more about what's happening. Is the Federation at war with the Romulans?
EMH #2: No. The Romulans haven't gotten involved in our fight with the Dominion.
The Doctor: The who?
EMH #2: Long story.

The Doctor: How did you manage to release the neurozine? I never opened the ventilation system.
EMH #2: Trapped in the Jefferies tube, alone, nowhere to run. His smug comrade captured by Romulans. EMH Mark II had to improvise. Inspiration! He accessed the main computer and simulated a ship-wide bio-hazard, making the computer think there was a micro-biotic contamination on all decks.
The Doctor: [understanding] And the ventilation system opened automatically.
EMH #2: Presto! He then crawled back out of the tube, accessed the holo-emitters, transferred here, excused the Romulan, saw the dumbfounded look on his comrade's face...
The Doctor: The end! You know, you really should keep a personal log. Why bore others needlessly?

EMH #2: Have you run a self-diagnostic lately? The EMH Mark I is designed to function in sickbay only.
The Doctor: Voyager lost its Chief Medical Officer four years ago. I've been active ever since.
EMH #2: Four years? No wonder you're delusional.

The Doctor: I assure you, I am in perfect health. I was saving Voyager from annihilation when you were only a gleam in your programmer's eye.

The Doctor: What are you waiting for? Shoot! - Shoot!
EMH #2: There are so many controls!
The Doctor: Find the one that says 'fire' and push it!

[the EMH-2 fires a torpedo, which ends up hitting one of the Defiant-class ships]
The Doctor: You hit the wrong ship!
EMH #2: It wasn't my fault.
The Doctor: Well, then, whose fault was it, the torpedo's? You're supposed to tell it what to do!

The Doctor: The warbirds are in retreat! Doctor, we've done it!
EMH #2: Two holograms alone, Romulans on one side, Starfleet on the other, alarms beeping everywhere!
The Doctor: EMH Mark II, newborn, but filled with courage.
EMH #2: EMH Mark I, armed with years of experience.
The Doctor: Together they emerged triumphant.
EMH #2: The End.
[computer beeps]
EMH #2: Or not...?

The Doctor: Far be it from me to turn down an opportunity to become a hero.

[last lines]
[the Doctor has made contact with Starfleet HQ]
The Doctor: They asked me to relay a message. They wanted you to know... you're no longer alone.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: 60,000 light years... seems a little closer today.

The Doctor: [the Doctor's trying to figure out how to pilot The Prometheus and the EMH #2 is standing right behind him] Stop breaching down my neck!
EMH #2: My breathing is merely a situation.
The Doctor: [Testily] So is my neck. Stop it anyway!

Sub-Commander Almak: [the Doctor and the EMH #2 are desperately trying to deal with 3 Romulan warbirds which have just surrounded them] This is the war is T'Met calling the Prometheus. Commander Rekar, respond. Commander?
The Doctor: [the Doctor and the EMH #2 look nervously at each other. Then, the Doctor adopts on a 'deep-sounding voice,' and activates the ship-to-ship communication system] This is the Prometheus...
Sub-Commander Almak: Activate your view screen.
The Doctor: [thinking for a moment] Our view screen isn't operational. We've had some trouble with Star Fleet commandos.
Sub-Commander Almak: [Testily] Where is Rekar?
The Doctor: In the medical bay. He suffered minor injuries.
Sub-Commander Almak: Identify yourself.
EMH #2: [the Doctor nervously looks at the EMH #2. The EMH #2 whispers] You first.
The Doctor: You first.
Sub-Commander Almak: Repeat your last statement. I don't understand.
The Doctor: [Nervously, still using 'deep voice] State your identity .
Sub-Commander Almak: This is so commander Almak. Robert your shield and prepare to be boarded.
The Doctor: [Speaking in his normal voice] They're already down. Maybe there's something wrong with your sensor readings. You better not try to transport until we know it's safe.
Sub-Commander Almak: [Angrily] Lower your shields immediately, or I'll open fire.
The Doctor: Immediately? Yes. Prometheus out.
[the Doctor ends communication. the Romulans start firing]

The Doctor: There are 2 Warbirds coming right at us!
EMH #2: My brilliant existence cut short! No time to explore the universe... no time to smell the roses... no time for... sex

"Star Trek: Voyager: Life Line (#6.24)" (2000)
[the Doctor is going to be sent to the Alpha Quadrant through a data stream]
Seven of Nine: I've removed your singing algorithms. They'll be stored in the memory buffer until you return.
The Doctor: Why?
Seven of Nine: Your program's too large for the data stream. I have to extract all non-essential subroutines.
The Doctor: They're essential to me. They're part of who I am.
Seven of Nine: Are you planning on performing opera during your visit?
The Doctor: No.
Seven of Nine: Will you be reciting poetry?
The Doctor: Doubtful.
Seven of Nine: Hoverball? Holophotography?
The Doctor: I may want to take a few snapshots to document my trip.
Seven of Nine: Sexual activities?
The Doctor: I get the point.

The Doctor: Try to leave a few of my enhancements intact. I don't want to look like every other EMH on the block.

The Doctor: I was compressed into a data stream and transmitted from the Delta Quadrant.
Dr. Zimmerman: [grouchy] Congratulations. I recommend a tour of Jupiter's third moon. I hear the lava flows are lovely this time of year.

The Doctor: What were your initial symptoms?
Dr. Zimmerman: [sarcastically] Radical hair loss.

The Doctor: To your knowledge, have you been exposed to theta radiation?
Dr. Zimmerman: No.
The Doctor: Neutron flux?
Dr. Zimmerman: Never.
The Doctor: Have you had intimate relations with a Bolian?
Dr. Zimmerman: These are questions first year medical students would ask!
The Doctor: I'm just being thorough.
Leonard the Iguana: Just being thorough.

The Doctor: Undercover insects? Talking iguanas? This isn't a research station; it's a three... ring... circus! You should charge admission!

The Doctor: Computer, deactivate iguana.
Dr. Zimmerman: How dare you!
The Doctor: I'm a doctor, not a zoo keeper.

The Doctor: [after squashing Roy the holographic fly with a book] Finally. I've accomplished something.

Seven of Nine: [looking at Dr. Zimmerman's profile] You bear a striking resemblance.
The Doctor: He used his own physical parameters as a model for my matrix. Can't say I blame him. A doctor needs to inspire confidence in his patients. Compassionate eyes and a strong chin can go a long way.

Dr. Zimmerman: Enough questions! Finish your scans and get out of here!
The Doctor: Doctor?
Dr. Zimmerman: I said get out of here!
The Doctor: I traveled halfway across the galaxy to treat you. The least you could do is show a little gratitude.
Dr. Zimmerman: Thank you. GET OUT OF HERE!

The Doctor: I also have an exceptionally high tolerance for difficult patients.
Dr. Zimmerman: I didn't program you for sarcasm.
The Doctor: You'll find I'm full of surprises.

[Dr. Zimmerman pinches Deanna Troi in the arm]
Counselor Deanna Troi: Ow!
The Doctor: He thinks you're a hologram.
Counselor Deanna Troi: [to Zimmerman] I can assure you I'm quite real!
Dr. Zimmerman: [quickly closing his dressing gown] Oh. Well, the last beautiful woman to walk in here turned out to be *him*.
The Doctor: I'll take that as a compliment.

Dr. Zimmerman: You weren't programed to care. You were programed to hold a scalpel.
The Doctor: I told you, I'm not the same EMH you created six years ago.
Dr. Zimmerman: Of course, you can sing and dance. I should install you in a Ferengi nightclub.

Barclay: [about Dr. Zimmerman] I take it that you, um, still haven't been able to diagnose him?
The Doctor: On the contrary. The patient appears to be suffering from an acute case of *arrogance*!

The Doctor: I ran a mitochondrial scan. There was something odd about the results, so I spent a full hour analyzing. And what did I discover? He's a Vulcan marsupial. He reconfigured my tricorder!

Haley: Sounds like you're making progress.
The Doctor: How so?
Haley: He only teases people he likes.
The Doctor: Then he must love me.

The Doctor: You'd need a phaser drill to get through that thick skull of his!
Dr. Zimmerman: Get out!
Counselor Deanna Troi: Gentlemen...
Dr. Zimmerman: Oh, spare us your psychobabble!
Counselor Deanna Troi: I came here thinking that you were opposite sides of the same coin, identical but different. Now I see you're both exactly the same - you're both jerks!
Leonard the Iguana: Jerks.

The Doctor: Thank you, Counselor, for extending that olive branch.

Counselor Deanna Troi: [on Barclay's Voyager program] So, this is Voyager. I like it.
The Doctor: It's a remarkable facsimile. But Mr. Barclay did get a few of the details wrong. For one thing, Neelix doesn't purr.

Dr. Zimmerman: Reginald was right about you. You *have* exceeded the sum of your programing. You've accomplished far more than I would have ever predicted. But let's face facts. You never overcame the inherent flaws in your personality subroutines. You're arrogant, irritable, a 'jerk', as Counselor Troi would say.
The Doctor: I believe she was describing *you* as well.
Dr. Zimmerman: Don't change the subject.

The Doctor: We should begin the procedure. Please - give me a chance to make you proud of me.
Dr. Zimmerman: [after a pause] Maybe we could... try it. See how it goes.
The Doctor: See how it goes.
Dr. Zimmerman: Just don't expect me to put you in my will.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Author, Author (#7.20)" (2001)
[first lines]
The Doctor: In the beginning, there is darkness, the emptiness of a matrix waiting for the light. Then, a single photon flares into existence, then another. Soon, thousands more. Optronic pathways connect, subroutines emerge from the chaos, and a holographic consciousness is born. I awaken into this world fully programed, yet completely innocent, unaware of the hardships I'll endure, or the great potential I will one day fulfill. - Computer, save revisions and open Chapter One.

Tom Paris: [about the Doctor's holo-program] What's it called?
The Doctor: "Photons Be Free".
Tom Paris: Catchy.

The Doctor: My publisher assures me he won't distribute the program until he receives the revised version.
B'Elanna Torres: That must be the one where we assimilate the Borg and take over the quadrant.

The Doctor: I could use your help with the rewrites.
Tom Paris: Really? You realize, as a writer, I'm a little unsophisticated.
The Doctor: No; I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'lowbrow'.

The Doctor: [from his introduction] You're about to take part in a thrilling first-person narrative. You will take on the role of an Emergency Medical Hologram, the Chief Medical Officer aboard the Starship Vortex.
Tom Paris: "Vortex"?
The Doctor: As our story begins, an anomaly has hurled your ship thousands of light years across the galaxy. Your mission: to uphold your medical and ethical standards, as you struggle against the crew's bigotry and intolerance. Persons with vascular disorders should consult a physician before running this program.

Tom Paris: You set your story on a starship lost in the Delta Quadrant!
The Doctor: What would you have me write about? Palace Intrigue on the Klingon Homeworld?

Holographic Tom Paris: [from Paris's introduction] You are about to embark on a remarkable journey. You will take on the role of a medical assistant aboard the Starship Voyeur.
The Doctor: "Voyeur"?
Holographic Tom Paris: Your job will be to assist the Chief Medical Officer and learn to tolerate his overbearing behavior and obnoxious bedside manner. Remember: patience is a virtue.

The Doctor: This is outrageous!
EMH Mark I: [lifting a golf iron] What's outrageous is that I'm going to miss my tee time!

Tom Paris: Your program's about as subtle as a... Ferengi mating dance.
The Doctor: My program is a serious attempt at social commentary. Yours is an insulting farce! You...
[he looks around and continues with lower voice]
The Doctor: ...had me drugging a patient, and taking advantage of her!
Tom Paris: Don't be ridiculous, that character is not you! For one thing, he has much more hair.

Tom Paris: Listen, I don't care if the whole Alpha Quadrant mistakes me for Lieutenant Marseilles. What bothers me is that you think that's what I'm like.
The Doctor: Obviously, you're nothing like Marseilles. He's self-indulgent, immature.
Tom Paris: And how would you describe me?
The Doctor: Well, you're a married man, with a child on the way. A lot of responsibilities.
Tom Paris: I'm surprised you noticed. You know, I thought I'd begun to earn your respect. Maybe I was wrong.

The Doctor: I'm sorry my work offends you. But if the price of expressing myself is having to suffer the scorn of a few colleagues, so be it.

[Publisher Broht has refused to recall the copies of the Doctor's holo-program, which he has distributed prematurely]
Captain Kathryn Janeway: I don't see that you have a choice, Mr. Broht. Authors have rights.
Arden Broht: Not in this case.
The Doctor: What do you mean?
Arden Broht: The Doctor is a hologram.
The Doctor: So?
Arden Broht: According to Federation law, holograms *have* no rights.

The Doctor: It's just frustrating to be told I have no more legal standing than a replicator.

The Doctor: It's the crew's reputations that are at risk.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: I'm not so sure. I think it's your reputation that's on the line here. You have the same rights as every other member of this crew. And I'm not going to let this publisher say otherwise.

The Doctor: Do you think I'll be able to find another publisher?
Captain Kathryn Janeway: If there's one thing I've learned about you, Doctor, it's that you can do just about anything you set your mind to.

The Doctor: What you've experienced, dear protagonist, is a work of fiction. But like all fiction, it has elements of truth. I hope you now have a better understanding of the struggles holograms must endure, in a world controlled... by organics.
Voyager Computer: End of program.

[from Paris's holo-story]
EMH Mark I: [with mock sympathy] Awww! What seems to be the trouble, One of Three?
Two of Three: I'm Two of Three.
EMH Mark I: Sorry.
EMH Mark I: [to the Doctor] They're triplets - you know?

[last lines]
First EMH Mark I: Time for your diagnostic. Report to the holo-lab.
Second EMH Mark I: I know the routine.
First EMH Mark I: And... while you're there, do yourself a favor. Ask the operator to run program 47 beta.
Second EMH Mark I: Why? What is it?
First EMH Mark I: It's called "Photons Be Free". It's quite provocative.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Darkling (#3.18)" (1997)
The Doctor: In my preparatory report to the away team, I recall mentioning to you that Klingons lacked an enzyme for metabolizing this planet's vegetation. Have you been... naughty?
Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: I had one small salad.
The Doctor: So impetuous. Any sharp pains?
Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: No.
The Doctor: Heartburn?
Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: I guess so.
The Doctor: There's nothing like a heart that burns.

[while examining Torres' body, the Doctor gets very close to her]
The Doctor: Uh-huh... Mmm... Does that feel... good?
Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: Doctor - unless you want me to knock you into the middle of the next millennium, you'd better back off.

[the Doctor has developed a dark personality]
The Doctor-Darkling: Watch your tongue - or I'll remove it.

The Doctor: I think I'm detecting a reaction to your recent break-up with Mr. Neelix. The Mahatma would recommend a cold bath. Simplistic, but no doubt effective.

Lieutenant Tom Paris: So, what are you up to, Doc?
The Doctor-Darkling: [curtly] Work.
Lieutenant Tom Paris: Yeah, never ends, does it? I guess that mobile emitter turned out to be something of a mixed blessing, huh?

Kes: What do you want?
The Doctor-Darkling: What everybody wants - just a little... excitement.

Kes: Where're we going?
The Doctor-Darkling: Wherever the winds of space carry us.

[the Doctor-Darkling studies his subroutines on a screen]
The Doctor-Darkling: Look! It's me. But it's also him. "What is the nature of the medical emergency?" What a hollow excuse for a life - servile, pathetic, at the beck and call of any idiot who invokes his name. The thought of him sickens me.

The Doctor-Darkling: There's not enough room inside for both of us. One must die. I deserve to exist, more than your Doctor does.
Kes: Why?
The Doctor-Darkling: I was born of the hidden, the suppressed. I am the dark threads from many personalities.
Kes: The historical characters?
The Doctor-Darkling: None of whom could face the darkness inside, so they denied me, suppressed me, frightened of the truth.
Kes: What truth is that?
The Doctor-Darkling: That darkness is more fundamental than light, cruelty before kindness, evil more primary than good, more deserving of existence.

Kes: Why does it bother you so much when I call you 'Doctor'? You said he was inside you, that he was unconscious. Why are you so afraid of him?
The Doctor-Darkling: I fear nothing! No one! But he... repulses me.
Kes: Why?
The Doctor-Darkling: Because he's as weak as the rest of you. He fails to understand the power of his own holographic nature. He is detestable.

The Doctor-Darkling: I am beyond considerations of wrong and right. Behavioral categories are for the weak, for those of you without the will to define your existence, to do what they must, no matter who might get harmed along the way.

[the Doctor-Darkling threatens to throw Kes down a precipice]
Kes: When I walked in on you on the holodeck, you could have killed me, knocked me unconscious.
The Doctor-Darkling: I needed a hostage!
Kes: You said you were taking me for my own good, to prevent me from making the wrong decisions. You said I was naive and needed your help. That's not what you say to a hostage. In your own way you've been trying to protect me.
The Doctor-Darkling: I won't accept that!
Kes: You've twisted and suppressed all that's good inside of you, but it's still there.
The Doctor-Darkling: No! I won't hear this anymore!
Kes: You can't deny it!
The Doctor-Darkling: Watch me!
[grabs Kes and plunges with her into the precipice]

[Kes tells the Doctor about her impressions of the Mikhal Travelers]
The Doctor: In my opinion, you've become far too infatuated with these Travelers. From the away team reports, they seem afflicted with terminal wanderlust, risk-taking thrill-seekers with no responsibility to the ideals of exploration. In short - bad news.

The Doctor-Darkling: The flesh is weak, Kes. Never forget that.

The Doctor: Would somebody care to tell me exactly what we're all doing here? And why I'm wearing these ridiculous clothes?
Ensign Harry Kim: Kim to bridge. We got them. And the Doctor seems to be back to normal.

[Security is keeping the Doctor at bay with phasers]
The Doctor: Put those down before someone gets hurt and I have to clean up the mess.

The Doctor: The next time I want to enrich myself, I'll download a good book.

[last lines]
The Doctor: I swear this oath by Apollo Physician, by Asclepius, by Health... and by all the gods and goddesses. In whatsoever place that I enter, I will enter to help the sick and heal the injured. And I will do no harm.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Someone to Watch Over Me (#5.22)" (1999)
The Doctor: I heard about the mess hall incident.
Seven of Nine: This crew can be very efficient at disseminating information, when they choose to be.
The Doctor: They say gossip travels faster than warp speed.

The Doctor: You're a woman, Seven.
Seven of Nine: Is that an observation or a diagnosis?

The Doctor: Perhaps you should consider... expanding your research to the realm of dating.
Seven of Nine: Dating? You mean procreation?
The Doctor: One step at a time. Dating is a human ritual, wherein two people share a social activity, get to know each other. In time, it can lead to a romantic involvement, and eventually, if all goes well, even marriage.
Seven of Nine: One step at a time.

The Doctor: The key to finding a compatible partner is learning how to share your interests and goals. We'll start with hobbies. What do you do with your spare time?
Seven of Nine: Regenerate.

The Doctor: Even Romeo and Juliet hit a few snags at first.

[the Doctor is showing Seven a slide presentation about mating]
The Doctor: Here we see how Fortress Ovum is besieged by countless little warriors...
Seven of Nine: Doctor, I am familiar with the physiological processes of sexuality.

[the Doctor has taken Seven out to Ambassador Tomin's reception]
Tom Paris: Don't think you've won our bet. She was supposed to bring a real date.
The Doctor: Photons and force fields, flesh and blood - why quibble over details?

[Seven has offered Paris and the Doctor to get them a drink]
The Doctor: You know I don't drink; I don't have the stomach for it.

[from the Doctor's lesson plan]
The Doctor: Introduction - Love amid the Stars

The Doctor: Lesson 1 - First Contact

The Doctor: Lesson 2 - Encounter in a Public Place

The Doctor: Lesson 3 - Getting to Know You

The Doctor: Lesson 8 - Dress for Success

The Doctor: Lesson 23 - Toast the Town

The Doctor: Lesson 35 - Shall We Dance?

Tomin: [shouting across the mess hall] Ensign Paris! Tell us another one of those hologram jokes!
The Doctor: You've been stealing my material?
Tom Paris: That guy's so lubricated, he'll laugh at anything.

The Doctor: Tell me about your tastes, your likes and dislikes.
Seven of Nine: I dislike irrelevant conversations.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Projections (#2.3)" (1995)
The Doctor: You're injured.
Neelix: [looks at the red substance on his shoulder] Aaaah! Aah! Oh! What's wrong? Is it serious?
The Doctor: Don't panic, Mr Neelix. It looks superficial.
Neelix: Am I going to die?
The Doctor: [inspects the substance] Not unless you're allergic to tomatoes. That isn't blood. It's some kind of sauce.
Neelix: [tastes the sauce] Nondoran tomato paste. Ooh, that'll leave a nasty stain.

Neelix: You're bleeding.
The Doctor: [derisively] Bleeding? That's impossible.
[he wipes blood from his neck though, leaving him stunned]
Neelix: Don't panic, Doctor. It looks superficial.
The Doctor: I'm not programed to bleed.
Neelix: Maybe you should check your program.

[the apparent holodeck malfunctions cause the Doctor to have real sensations]
The Doctor: I think I'm hungry... I'm not sure what for, but I'm definitely hungry. This is impossible!

The Doctor: I am a real person.

Commander Chakotay: None of this is real.
The Doctor: So I've been told.

[first lines]
The Doctor: Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

The Doctor: Did I program Mr. Paris to be so annoying?

The Doctor: Computer, delete Paris.

The Doctor: These tricorders aren't picking up any of your life signs. At first, I thought they were malfunctioning. But now, I find they show *me* to be a, a living, breathing, bleeding human being!

The Doctor: [studying Dr. Lewis Zimmerman's personal file] He looks a lot like me. In fact, he looks exactly like me. Computer, is this me?
Voyager Computer: Affirmative.

The Doctor: [about the bridge] Well... It's bigger than I thought.

The Doctor: And Kes is my assistant, not my wife?
Commander Chakotay: Your wife?
The Doctor: Never mind.

[last lines]
The Doctor: I am curious about one thing.
Kes: What's that?
The Doctor: The radiation surge caused my program to malfunction, and my codes and circuits began to degrade. And yet, instead of detecting that threat to my program, I experienced an elaborate delusion concerning the nature of my existence: human or hologram, person... or projection. Why? Why would my program focus on such an esoteric dilemma?
Kes: Well... I sometimes ask those kind of questions. Who am I? What am I doing here? What's my purpose in life? Doesn't everybody?
The Doctor: Not me. I know exactly who I am and what my purpose is: I am the Emergency Medical Hologram aboard the starship Voyager.
Kes: [smiling mysteriously] Are you sure about that?

The Doctor: Can you give me a ship's status report?
Voyager Computer: Affirmative. Warp core is offline. The ship is restricted to emergency power and auxiliary systems only. Structural integrity breach on Deck Six, Deck Seven, and Deck Twelve. Deflector shields inoperative. Weapons array off-line. Communications, off-line. Sewage and waste reclamation off-li...
The Doctor: All right, I get the idea!

"Star Trek: Voyager: Tinker Tenor Doctor Spy (#6.4)" (1999)
[first lines]
The Doctor: Somewhere, in that totality known as the universe, is a galaxy called the Milky Way. Tucked into the corner of that galaxy is a planet named Earth. On that planet is a city called Mantua. Go straight ahead, past the fountain, turn right, then left, and right again. You'll find yourself walking along the water, listening, as a man sings of his beloved's unfaithful heart. And even the fish begin to weep. Quando La Donna E Mobile.

[the Doctor is singing La Donna E Mobile in the mess hall, when Tuvok begins to cry]
Tom Paris: [whispering] Tuvok?
[Tuvok goes from crying to laughing uncontrollably, then grunting, as if in pain]
Tom Paris: Tuvok!
[Tuvok starts thrashing around]
Captain Janeway: [clicks her combadge] Janeway to Security, get a team to the mess hall right away!
The Doctor: Stand back! He's been seized by the pon farr! A neurochemical imbalance is driving him to mate. We won't be able to reason with him!
[starts singing to the melody of the music]
The Doctor: Tuvok, I understand / you are a Vulcan man. You have just gone without / For seven years, about.
[signals to Tom]
The Doctor: Paris, please find a way / To load a hypospray. I will give you the sign / Just aim for his behind. Hormones are raging, synapses blazing. It's all so veee-...
[Tom loads and throws the hypospray to the Doctor, who catches it]
The Doctor: ...hery illogical.
[injects Tuvok in the butt with the hypospray, and Tuvok collapses]
The Doctor: Illogical. Iii-ll... illogical.

The Doctor: [in his daydream] Computer, activate the ECH.

The Borg: We are the Borg...
The Doctor: I know very well who you are. Stand down your weapons!
The Borg: State your designation.
The Doctor: Emergency Command Hologram, at your service.
The Borg: Designation unknown.
The Doctor: Not for long.

The Borg: You will be assimilated.
The Doctor: Over my dead program!

The Doctor: I have to save the ship! I have to save the ship!

[while dreaming, the Doctor walks into a force field]
The Doctor: Pardon me, Miss.

[the crew is monitoring the Doctor's daydreams]
The Doctor: Computer, activate the Emergency Command Hologram.
Harry Kim: This is the part I like.

Phlox: The Hierarchy does not tolerate mistakes or misinformation. If they learn of my error... I'll lose my livelihood.
The Doctor: Well, that's what you get for being a peeping Tom.

The Doctor: The Borg, the Hierarchy, it's all the same to me - just another bully who didn't know when to back off.

The Doctor: Tuvok! Activate the photonic cannon!
[everyone else is looking at each other, stunned]
The Doctor: Tuvok, that was an order!
Tuvok: Activating the photonic cannon - sir.

[last lines]
Seven of Nine: Congratulations, Doctor.
[she kisses him on the cheek]
Seven of Nine: That was a platonic gesture. Don't expect me to pose for you.
The Doctor: Noted.

The Doctor: Thank you for this opportunity, Captain. All I've ever wanted was to live up to my full potential, to hone all my skills, expand my abilities, to help the people I love.

The Doctor: Doctor to the bridge. I'm daydreaming again. Somebody deactivate me.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Living Witness (#4.23)" (1998)
The Doctor: Somewhere, halfway across the galaxy I hope, Captain Janeway is spinning in her grave.

Quarren: [stunned] You... are a hologram!
The Doctor: That I know!

The Doctor: Seven hundred years! What about my ship? What happened to my crew?
Quarren: No one knows. It's safe to say they're long dead.
The Doctor: And I'm some sort of... fossil?
Quarren: No, not a fossil. A witness, a living witness to history! There's so much we don't know about what happened. But you saw it, you lived through those times. You helped to shape them. Doctor, you could be the most important discovery of all time!

The Doctor: From my perspective, I saw them all only a few days ago. But in fact, it's been centuries; and l'll never see them again. Did they ever reach home? I wonder.

The Doctor: Voyager wasn't a warship. We were explorers!
Quarren: Yes, I know. Trying to get home, to Mars.
The Doctor: Earth! You see, you couldn't even get *that* right!

[Quarren activates the Doctor]
The Doctor: Please state the nature of the medical... Oh - it's you.

The Doctor: For your information, I don't appreciate being deactivated in the middle of a sentence. It brings back... unpleasant memories.

[the Doctor has dismissed Quarren's historical simulation as pure fiction]
Quarren: This is a reasonable extrapolation from historic record. But if you'd like to point out any inconsistencies?
The Doctor: Inconsistencies? I don't know where to begin. Granted, this looks like the briefing room. But these aren't the people I knew. No one behaved like this. Well - aside from Mr. Paris.

Quarren: You're trying to protect yourself.
The Doctor: And so are you - from the truth! Isn't it a coincidence that the Kyrians are portrayed in the best possible light? Martyrs, heroes, saviors... Obviously, events have been reinterpreted to make your people feel better about themselves. Revisionist history - it's such a comfort.

[in the Doctor's simulation]
The Doctor: I'll go first, Captain, and draw any fire if need be.
Vaskan Ambassador Daleth: Your crew is heroic, Captain.
The Doctor: I just happen to be invulnerable to phaser fire. But I appreciate the compliment.

The Doctor: [reflective] B'Elanna Torres - intelligent, beautiful, and with a chip on her shoulder the size of the Horsehead Nebula.

Quarren: Ever since I was a small child, the first time I heard the name Voyager, it conjured up my imagination.
The Doctor: Even though we were the bad guys?
Quarren: That didn't matter; I was too young to understand the implications. The fact that you were so far from home traveling across the stars... Ah, I found it all very heroic. I suppose Voyager is what made me fall in love with history.
The Doctor: If it means anything to you, you would have made a fine member of our crew.

The Doctor: 700 years, and I'm still caught in the middle of your little dispute. One might have hoped for a bit of social progress in the interim.
Quarren: Change never comes easily for us.
The Doctor: Hm, that's an understatement.

The Doctor: I'm a medical hologram, programed to do no harm. But I'm doing harm on a global scale. Ever since you reactivated me, I've been concerned with clearing Voyager's good name. But that's not important now. There's more at stake!
Quarren: A few days ago I might have agreed with you. But what about the facts?
The Doctor: Facts be damned! Names, dates, places, it's all open to interpretation. Who's to say what really happened? And ultimately, what difference does it make? What matters is today, and the future of your people.
Quarren: Doctor, you were there, you can't deny what happened.
The Doctor: I can. And I will. Tedran was a martyr for your people, a hero - a symbol of your struggle for freedom. Who am I to wander in seven hundred years later and take that away from you?
Quarren: History has been abused! We keep blaming each other for what happened in the past. If you don't help us now, it could be another seven hundred years.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Virtuoso (#6.13)" (2000)
Abarca: When we agreed to be examined by this ship's medical officer, we didn't know that you were a primitive computer matrix.
The Doctor: [irritated] I assure you, there is nothing primitive about me.
[Abarca sneers]
The Doctor: I am programmed to perform more than five million medical procedures.
Abarca: Does that include bloodletting?
The Doctor: No, but I'll be happy to add it to my repertoire.

[the Doctor is inspecting the building in which he is to give a recital]
The Doctor: If you consider the height of the average Qomar, it's obvious that anyone seated in the back five rows will have an obstructed view.
B'Elanna Torres: You're right. They won't be able to see anything but the top of your head. The glare could blind them.
The Doctor: [to Tincoo] You'll have to excuse Lieutenant Torres. Her appreciation of music is limited to a smattering of Klingon drinking songs.

The Doctor: I wish I had a subroutine to eliminate pre-show jitters.

B'Elanna Torres: You wanted to see me?
The Doctor: I need your clearance code to delete my medical database.
B'Elanna Torres: You sure you want to do that? If you give one of your fans a heart attack, you won't be able to resuscitate him.

The Doctor: I plan to segue from Don Juan to Rigoletto in the blink of an eye. It will be a triumph of...
B'Elanna Torres: Arrogance and self-absorption?
[the Doctor gives her a scowling look]
B'Elanna Torres: Just trying to help.

The Doctor: While we're at it, Lieutenant, I'll need some help with my wardrobe.
B'Elanna Torres: I'm an engineer, not a costume designer.

The Doctor: I'm just a little... nervous.
Tincoo: Why?
The Doctor: I'm about to expose your entire culture to music for the first time. The responsibility is... enormous!
Tincoo: Your performance tonight will be transmitted to hundreds of millions of people.
The Doctor: Is that supposed to help me relax?

Captain Janeway: You've been neglecting your sickbay duties. I haven't received a report in three days.
The Doctor: Oh, come now, Kathryn, it's not as though there's been a flood of medical emergencies.
Captain Janeway: I wasn't aware we were on a first-name basis.
The Doctor: I-I meant 'Captain'. I'm sorry.
Captain Janeway: Oh, it's perfectly all right, Doctor. Or do you prefer 'Maestro'?
The Doctor: [laughs, flattered] Please. Either is acceptable.
Captain Janeway: Well, then, let me make it clear to both of you: Maestro, you're finished for today. Doctor, report to sickbay - now!

Tincoo: By any mathematical standard, the medical care of 150 people cannot compare to the cultural enrichment of millions.
The Doctor: You can't always explain things with an equation, Tincoo.

[the Doctor has decided to leave Voyager in favor of his singing career]
The Doctor: I feel I've accomplished all I can here. Oh, there's the occasional medical mystery that challenges my programming, but mostly, it's become routine. And frankly, I feel my talents are often taken for granted. But when I'm standing on that stage performing, and I see those rapt faces in the audience... I feel I finally know what it's like to be made of flesh and blood.
Seven of Nine: You simply crave attention, applause, fan mail.
The Doctor: What if I do?
Seven of Nine: Those things are irrelevant.
The Doctor: To you, maybe. But to me, it makes me feel appreciated... even loved. Not for what I've been programmed to do; but for who I've become.

Tom Paris: Doc - you're not really gonna do this, are you?
The Doctor: I would have thought you of all people would be glad to see me go.
Tom Paris: Are you kidding? Who am I gonna torment after you're gone?

[last lines]
Seven of Nine: I have something for you.
The Doctor: What is it?
Seven of Nine: Fan mail.
The Doctor: Delete it. I don't want to read another word.
Seven of Nine: Then I'll read it for you.
The Doctor: Seven...
Seven of Nine: [reads] "Dear Doctor. I regret that your last performance was not as successful as you'd hoped. There are still those who appreciate your unique talents, and admire you as an individual. I'll always consider myself your loyal fan."
The Doctor: Who's it from?
Seven of Nine: It's signed, "Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix 01".
[Seven hands the Doctor the PADD and leaves sickbay. The Doctor reads through it again, then starts singing "I've Been Working on the Railroad"]

Tincoo: [speaking slowly, as if she's talking to someone who speaks a different language, with hand gestures] We are ready to return to our ship. Could you contact one of your superiors?
The Doctor: Doctor to the Captain. Please report to Sickbay.
Captain Janeway: Already on my way.
The Doctor: [speaking slowly, only in his case, as if he's speaking to someone incredibly stupid] The Captain is coming here now. If you want to talk to her, you can have a seat.
Tincoo: [he stalks off. Tincoo moves to join Abarca] It is a very irritating program.
Abarca: Maybe we can disable its speech subroutines.
The Doctor: You're not authorized to do that!

"Star Trek: Voyager: The Swarm (#3.4)" (1996)
[Torres has activated the hologram of Dr. Zimmerman, the gruff creator and look-alike of the Doctor]
B'Elanna Torres: I can see where you get your charming personality.
The Doctor: Not to mention my hairline.

Doctor Zimmerman: I am a diagnostic tool, not an engineer.

The Doctor: [after being upset by the hologram of his partnering soprano Giuseppina Pentangeli] Addio, madam. Next time I'll take my chances with Maria Callas. Computer, delete the diva.

Doctor Zimmerman: Look at all this useless information floating around your buffer! Friendships with the crew, relationships with... women?
[gives the Doctor a scrutinizing look]
Doctor Zimmerman: Do they find you attractive?

Doctor Zimmerman: You've filled your memory with nonsense!
The Doctor: It was only during my off-hours.
Doctor Zimmerman: You're supposed to be off during your off-hours!

Doctor Zimmerman: There's nothing more I can do. Either re-initialize it or live with the knowledge that eventually this EMH will end up with the intellectual capacity of a parsnip.

The Doctor: I demand you tell me my name!

Doctor Zimmerman: [on Kes's suggestion to replace the EMH's holo-matrix with the diagnostic program's] I must point out that you would no longer have a diagnostic program for the EMH.
Kes: If we don't do this, we won't have an EMH to diagnose.
Doctor Zimmerman: Hm. Good point.

Doctor Zimmerman: It wasn't programmed to be a tenor, it was programmed to be a physician!

The Doctor: May I remind you that I am, in a way, your patient? Who's suffering from an unknown and obviously debilitating condition? I would think you'd be a little more sensitive to my needs.
B'Elanna Torres: You are questioning *my* bedside manner?

The Doctor: He's a very sick man.
[on Chardis, after he has died in sickbay]

[Dr. Zimmerman's hologram is about to overlay his own matrix onto the Doctor's]
Doctor Zimmerman: Well, it's been a brief existence, but, apparently, a noble one. Computer, initiate program Zimmerman Alpha-1.

The Doctor: I've recently begun a thorough study of opera. I find it quite satisfying, but I am having difficulty finding a holographic partner for the role of Mimi. All the soprani seem to have the most irritating personalities. These women are arrogant, superior, condescending. I can't imagine anyone behaving that way.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Lifesigns (#2.19)" (1996)
Dr. Danara Pel: Where are we exactly?
The Doctor: On a planet called Mars, inside a primitive, land-based vehicle. It's called a '57 Chevy. Mr. Paris is quite an automobile aficionado. This is his program.
Dr. Danara Pel: What is it that we're supposed to be doing?
The Doctor: I believe it's called... parking.

[the Doctor has shooed off Neelix and the Gigolo]
The Doctor: I apologize.
Dr. Danara Pel: No. They were just being nice.
The Doctor: Irritating, isn't it?

Dr. Danara Pel: You are a computer simulation?
The Doctor: An incredibly sophisticated computer simulation.

The Doctor: My program was developed by Dr. Lewis Zimmerman in a lab on Jupiter Station; I was activated on stardate 48308. Since that time I have performed 347 medical exams, healed eleven compound fractures, performed three appendectomies, and in my greatest feat of medical prowess, I once cured Mr. Neelix of an acute case of the hiccups.

The Doctor: I'm used to being in control of my faculties, confident with my decisions. But lately, whenever Danara's program is deactivated and I should be concentrating on my work, I find myself thinking of nothing but her.
Kes: Why don't you reactivate her?
The Doctor: Because whenever I do that, I suddenly feel... unsettled, unsure of myself, and I have no idea what to say. Why would people seek out situations which induce such unpleasant symptoms?
Kes: Because when the other person feels the same way you do, it's the most wonderful thing in life.

The Doctor: By the way, Danara, I've been meaning to tell you.
Dr. Danara Pel: Yes?
The Doctor: I'm romantically attracted to you and wanted to know if you felt the same way.

The Doctor: Mr. Paris, I assume you've had a great deal of experience being rejected by women.
Lieutenant Tom Paris: Thanks a lot, Doc.

[the Doctor is upset because someone has given Danara's body lethal nytoxinol]
The Doctor: We have to find out who's trying to obstruct your recovery.
Dr. Danara Pel: *I* administered the nytoxinol.
The Doctor: Didn't you know it would kill you?
Dr. Danara Pel: You mean kill her.
The Doctor: She *is* you!
Dr. Danara Pel: Was me. I don't ever want to be her again!

Dr. Danara Pel: Before I met you, I was just a disease. But now, everything's different. When people look at me, they don't see a disease anymore. They see a woman - a woman you made, a woman you love, a woman you're not afraid to touch.
The Doctor: Danara, I was never afraid to touch you.
Dr. Danara Pel: Why? Because you're a doctor?
The Doctor: Because I love you.

The Doctor: You said before you knew me... that you were just a disease. Well, before you, I was just a projection of photons, held together by force fields. A computerized physician, doing a job. Doing it exceptionally well, of course, but still, it was... just a profession. Not a life. But now that you are here, and my programming has adapted, I'm not just working anymore. I'm living, learning what it means... to be with someone, to love someone. I don't think I can go back to the way things were either. Danara, please. Don't die.

Dr. Danara Pel: Thank you. For... everything.
The Doctor: Thank *you* for... giving me a name.

Dr. Danara Pel: I think it's best if we keep our relationship professional.
The Doctor: Well... I'm going to... try stimulating the posterior sciatic nerve.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Critical Care (#7.5)" (2000)
The Doctor: Level Blue is your critical care area, I presume.
Chellick: Level Blue is the area where it's most critical that we provide excellent care.

[Chellick explains the treatment coefficient of the patients in the hospital]
Chellick: An agricultural engineer is obviously more important than a waste processor.
The Doctor: Important to whom?
Chellick: Society. When your resources are limited, you have to prioritize.
The Doctor: So you base treatment on whether patients have particular abilities.
Chellick: It's much more complicated than that. The Allocator assesses the entire individual.
The Doctor: And reduces his life to a number.

[the Doctor is complaining about the lack of proper treatment for Tebbis]
Dr. Dysek: If he becomes more valuable to society, his TC will rise and then he'll receive better treatment.
The Doctor: He may not be around long enough.
Dr. Dysek: I'm sorry he's sick. But our society is much better off since we began following the Allocator's protocols.
The Doctor: [under his breath] Some of you are.

Voje: Twelve patients on Level Red are being sent home because of you.
The Doctor: That's why we have to hurry. We may still be able to save them.
Voje: You've already endangered my patients, and now you're asking me to risk my career? Why should I help you?
The Doctor: Because I have a plan to heal those patients. That's what doctors do - we heal. So choose: what kind of doctor are you going to be?

The Doctor: That feeling you get from healing someone - infectious, isn't it?

The Doctor: Don't you have any ethical standards?
Chellick: You're hardly in a position to speak to me of ethics. Lying, stealing - any other crimes you wish to confess?
The Doctor: I was trying to save lives.
Chellick: And I am trying to save a society.

Chellick: You're only making things worse for yourself.
The Doctor: As a matter of fact, I'm making things worse for you: I'm going to make you a patient in your own hospital.

[an away team has arrived to take the Doctor back to Voyager]
The Doctor: I'll be with you in a moment. I'm with a... patient.

The Doctor: You know, Doctor, one way to increase your allocation of resources on Level Blue would be to increase the number of patients. I know at least a dozen people who should be treated for... arterial aging. Saving their lives would be just a side effect.
Dr. Dysek: Hmm... Perhaps we should have them transfered to Level Blue.
The Doctor: If you're looking for a second opinion, I concur.
Dr. Dysek: Well... Chellick, what do you think?
Chellick: It's absurd!
Dr. Dysek: We'd have to transfer you to Level Blue as well. You'd get your cytoglobin.

Tebbis: I have never met a doctor like you.
The Doctor: Well, it's not hard to stand out when the general level of competence is so low.

[last lines]
[the Doctor has asked Seven to give his program a checkup]
The Doctor: While I was aboard that ship, I poisoned a man.
Seven of Nine: Deliberately?
The Doctor: Yes. I was trying to force him to let me treat patients who were dying.
Seven of Nine: You were prepared to sacrifice an individual to benefit a collective.
The Doctor: No offense, Seven, but I don't exactly aspire to Borg ideals.
Seven of Nine: You were hoping your behavior was the result of a malfunction.
[the Doctor nods]
Seven of Nine: I'm sorry, Doctor; but I must give you a clean bill of health.

Tebbis: [the Doctor has "reallocated" restricted medications, and is trying to get a resistant Voje to help him distribute it] I'll help you.
Voje: You should be in bed!
The Doctor: Actually, now that he's improving, a little activity will do him good. You can go back to doing whatever you were doing.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Endgame (#7.25)" (2001)
Tom Paris: Paris to sickbay. It's time.
The Doctor: Remain calm, Mr. Paris. Can she stand?
[Tom looks at B'Elanna, who is putting on her dressing gown without rush]
Tom Paris: Affirmative.
The Doctor: Then I suggest you report to sickbay.
Tom Paris: Right.
[Tom gets up and is about to leave their quarters in his pajamas]
Tom Paris: What about B'Elanna?
The Doctor: Her too.

The Doctor: You're experiencing false labor, Lieutenant.
Tom Paris: Again?
The Doctor: As I explained the last time, it's a common occurrence, especially among Klingons.
B'Elanna Torres: I want this thing out of me NOW!
The Doctor: Misdirected rage. Another common occurrence among Klingons.

[B'Elanna is in labor]
The Doctor: Try to relax, Lieutenant.
B'Elanna Torres: [groans] If you tell me to relax one more time, I'm gonna rip your holographic head off!
The Doctor: I hope you don't intend to kiss your baby with that mouth.

Tom Paris: Doc!
The Doctor: Mr. Paris. Voyager's pilot, medic, and occasional thorn in my side.

Lana: Joe has a real flair for romantic gestures.
Tom Paris: 'Joe'?
The Doctor: I-I... I decided I couldn't get married without a name.
Tom Paris: It took you 33 years to come up with 'Joe'?

[the Borg Queen has warned Seven that she would destroy Voyager if they were to re-enter the nebula]
Captain Janeway: It was one thing to attempt this when we thought it was a secret. But if the Borg are monitoring us...
Admiral Kathryn Janeway: There's no guarantee they won't try to assimilate Voyager even if we *don't* go back into the nebula.
The Doctor: [aside, to the Captain] Is that supposed to be reassuring?

The Doctor: [to Admiral Janeway] Tell me, what other extraordinary breakthroughs am I going to make?
Captain Janeway: Doctor.
The Doctor: Sorry, Captain, but you can't blame a hologram for being curious.

Tom Paris: [after another of B'Elanna's false alarms] If this keeps happening, we'll never get any sleep.
The Doctor: You think it's bad *now*?

[B'Elanna is in real labor this time]
The Doctor: Don't celebrate yet. Klingon labor sometimes lasts several days.
[B'Elanna screams and grabs his collar]
The Doctor: Of course, I'm sure that won't be the case here.

[after the delivery]
The Doctor: Doctor to Lieutenant Paris. There's someone here who'd like to say hello.

B'Elanna Torres: Get this thing out of me!
The Doctor: I hope you're not going to kiss the baby with that mouth!

"Star Trek: Voyager: Fair Haven (#6.11)" (2000)
Captain Kathryn Janeway: I've become romantically involved with a hologram, if that's possible.
The Doctor: Tell me what happened.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Oh, you know the story. Girl meets boy, girl modifies boy's subroutines.

Captain Kathryn Janeway: Michael Sullivan is exactly my type. Attractive, intelligent, we share the same interests. And if there's something I don't like...
Captain Kathryn Janeway: [snaps her fingers] ... I can simply change it.
The Doctor: I've noticed that humans usually try to change the people they fall in love with; what's the difference?
Captain Kathryn Janeway: In this case, it works!

Tom Paris: Harry hasn't seen Sullivan's yet. D'you care to join us?
The Doctor: [in the role of the priest in Fair Haven] Don't mind if I do. I'll need to leave no later than 1300 hours.
Tom Paris: Medical emergency?
The Doctor: Not exactly. I'm working on my homily for Sunday's mass. And I expect both you sinners to be in attendance.
[he enters the pub]
Tom Paris: He's kidding, right?
Harry Kim: You wanted authenticity.

The Doctor: I was hoping I could give my character a more active role. In the period you've created, the village priest was the most prominent member of the community, held in the highest regard.
Tom Paris: That's a great idea, Doc. We could send Father Mulligan on a retreat to a nearby monastery, where he takes a vow of silence and never speaks again.
The Doctor: Try it! And you'll be saying Hail Marys till St. Patrick's Day.

The Doctor: I'm afraid there's been some trouble in Paradise.

[the Doctor tells Janeway about a lovesick Michael Sullivan, who has initiated a pub brawl]
The Doctor: The fight spilled out onto the street. Before long, he'd climbed up a tree and began shouting your name. Mr. Neelix managed to talk him down.

The Doctor: I apologize for overstepping my bounds. But I'm worried about you. Michael Sullivan is a hologram. His broken heart can be mended with the flick of a switch. Your feelings, however, are a little more... complicated.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: I'm not going to be climbing any trees, if that's what you're worried about.

The Doctor: You're the Captain. You can't have a relationship with a member of your crew, they're all your subordinates. So where does that leave you? The occasional dalliance with a passing alien? Voyager could be in the Delta Quadrant for a *very* long time. A hologram may be the only logical alternative.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: He's not real.
The Doctor: He's as real as I am. Photons and force fields, flesh and blood, it's all the same, as long as your feelings are real. He makes a joke, you laugh. Is that an illusion? He says something that makes you think. Does it matter how his molecules are aligned?

The Doctor: I think you should stop trying to control every aspect of this relationship. Romance is born out of differences, as well as similarities; out of the unexpected, as well as the familiar.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Maybe I just needed to be sure... he'd love me back.
The Doctor: But isn't that the risk you always take, hologram or not? All I know is, Michael Sullivan was up in that tree, shouting your name.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: I've never been afraid of taking risks.
The Doctor: Then perhaps next time, you should just... let him snore.

Tom Paris: Everybody, place your bets!
Seamus Driscol: Three bob on Liam.
Tom Paris: Three bob it is.
The Doctor: [as Father Mulligan] Five shillings on Liam.
Tom Paris: You're gonna hurt Harry's feelings.
The Doctor: Oh, very well. Two shillings on Mr. Kim and I'll pray for a miracle.

The Doctor: [as Father Mulligan, during a pub brawl] Gentlemen, please! Love thy neighbor!

"Star Trek: Voyager: Flesh and Blood (#7.9)" (2000)
The Doctor: You can't blame a hologram for trying.

[the Doctor has been invited by a hexapodic race to a symposium]
The Doctor: I'd be representing Voyager, putting our best foot forward, so to speak. And needless to say, hexapods are more likely to know a best foot when they see one.

[Iden has asked the Doctor to treat the "wounded" holograms]
The Doctor: I'm a doctor, not an engineer. You've abducted the wrong man!

The Doctor: One minute you're fighting the Hirogen, the next you're praying for them?
Iden: My spiritual beliefs are part of my programing.
The Doctor: Is there anything in your spiritual programing about making peace with your enemies?
Iden: It's difficult to make peace with people whose sole purpose is to kill you.

The Doctor: I need to get back to Voyager.
Iden: They're not your people. We are.
The Doctor: I'm not like you. I wasn't programed with killer instinct.
Iden: You have no right to judge us. You don't know what it's like being prey. Maybe if you did... you'd realize we're more alike than you think.

Kejal: The Hirogen used your program as a template to create us.
Iden: Your ability to rise above your programing has been an inspiration. You're part of who we are.
The Doctor: And what are you? Besides a handful of thugs roaming the quadrant looking for a fight!

The Doctor: You'd be surprised how easy it is *not* to kill someone.

[the Doctor is treating one of the injured holograms]
The Doctor: Why is she experiencing pain?
Kejal: They programed us with heightened sensory subroutines.
The Doctor: That's barbaric.
Kejal: Apparently there's no satisfaction in hunting something that doesn't suffer when you kill it.

Captain Kathryn Janeway: Doctor, deactivate yourself.
The Doctor: I can't treat the patient if I'm offline.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: No one can treat him if he's terrified.

Chakotay: Couldn't we just extract their violent subroutines?
B'Elanna Torres: [assuming] It's possible.
The Doctor: That would be like declawing a cat. We'd be taking away any chance they have of defending themselves!
Captain Kathryn Janeway: We'd also be preventing them from doing any more harm.
The Doctor: You wouldn't even be considering this if they were flesh and blood!
Captain Kathryn Janeway: I'm not gonna let you turn this into an argument about holographic rights.
The Doctor: Why not? That's exactly what it is.

[last lines of Part 1]
[during a battle with the holograms, the Doctor has himself transported to the holograms' vessel]
Iden: Why are you doing this?
The Doctor: Because... I'm one of you.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Nothing Human (#5.8)" (1998)
[Kim has concerns when realizing that the Medical Consultant Program is a Cardassian]
The Doctor: I don't care if he's the nastiest man who ever lived, as long as he can help us save B'Elanna.

The Doctor: [of B'Elanna Torres] When I told her that we'd used Moset's program, she was unhappy, to put it mildly. I nearly had to sedate her.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Sounds like her Klingon temper has fully recovered.
The Doctor: Practically qualifies as a chronic condition.

Dr. Crell Moset: I'm sure you've made your share of breakthroughs.
The Doctor: Naturally. Unfortunately, no one from Starfleet ever hears about them. I toil in obscurity.

Dr. Crell Moset: I've already outlined a paper that you and I will one day present to the Federation Medical Academy: "Total Systemic Invasion of a Klingon-Human Hybrid by a Cytoplasmic Pseudo-Parasite." Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?
The Doctor: Are we also going to tell them where you honed your surgical techniques? A footnote perhaps: "For further details, see Cardassian death camps."

Dr. Crell Moset: How do you suppose your own database was developed? Hm? My God - half the medical knowledge acquired on Earth came through experiments on lower animals.
The Doctor: But not people!
Dr. Crell Moset: It's convenient to draw a line between higher and lower species, isn't it?

Dr. Crell Moset: You're a physician. You know there's always a price to pay for the advancement of medical science.
The Doctor: Sometimes that price is too high. Torture?
Dr. Crell Moset: Your word, not mine.

Dr. Crell Moset: Delete my program, and you violate the first oath you took as a physician: 'Do no harm.'
The Doctor: Do no harm! You have no right to say those words.

[last lines]
Dr. Crell Moset: Where was your conscience when B'Elanna was dying on that table? Ethics? Morality? Conscience? Funny how they all go out the airlock when we need something. Are you and I really so different?
The Doctor: Computer - delete Medical Consultant Program and all related files.

The Doctor: It is my judgment that the Medical Consultant Program and all the algorithms contained therein shall be deleted from the database. In light of recent evidence, I cannot in good conscience utilize research that was derived from such... inhuman practices.

Ensign Tabor: [about Crell Moset] I can still remember the sounds his instruments made. The screams of his patients. The smell. Chemicals and dead flesh. He operated on my grandfather. Exposed his internal organs to nadion radiation. It took six days for him to die. I promised myself I would never forget.
The Doctor: You were very young. Is it possible your memory of these events is inaccurate?
Ensign Tabor: My memory's just fine. He blinded people so he could study how they adapted. Exposed them to polytrinic acid just to see how long it would take for their skin to heal!
The Doctor: Ensign, the man you're accusing cured the Fostossa virus. He stopped an epidemic that killed thousands of Bajorans.
Ensign Tabor: By infecting hundreds of people, so that he could experiment with different treatments. Old, helpless people like my grandfather, because he considered their lives worthless!
The Doctor: How do you know this?
Ensign Tabor: Everybody knew!

"Star Trek: Voyager: Drone (#5.2)" (1998)
[first lines]
The Doctor: Seven of Nine! How's my favorite Borg today?
Seven of Nine: Annoyed.

The Doctor: The Borg - party-poopers of the galaxy.

[the drone has asked the Doctor about its origins]
The Doctor: In a nutshell, there was a transporter malfunction. My emitter fused with several of Seven of Nine's... nanoprobes.
One: I was an accident.
The Doctor: Call it a random convergence of technologies.

The Doctor: You may have been unexpected, but, given time, I'm sure you'll make a fine addition to the crew. After all, you've got my mobile emitter driving your neocortex; so you're bound to make a dazzling impression, he, he, he... That's called a joke.
One: Joke - a verbal comment or gesture, designed to provoke laughter.
The Doctor: I see you've got your mother's sense of humor.

The Doctor: [waking up B'Elanna] Rise and shine, Lieutenant! - It's 0600 hours. Early bird gets the gagh!

B'Elanna Torres: The one day I get to sleep in...
The Doctor: You're worried about a few more seconds of unconsciousness? My freedom is at stake!

The Doctor: I'm a doctor, not a peeping Tom.

The Doctor: [to his own reflection] Hm. Not a bad-looking hologram.

[One has suffered life-threatening injuries]
One: [to Seven] I was never meant to be. As long as I exist, you are in danger. All life on Voyager is in danger.
The Doctor: We can talk about this later.
[proceeds to give an injection but is prevented by One's personal force field]
Seven of Nine: Allow the Doctor to proceed... Lower the force field!
The Doctor: His synapses are failing.
Seven of Nine: You must comply.
One: I will not!
Seven of Nine: You must comply! Please. You are hurting me.
One: You will adapt.

One: Describe my origins.
The Doctor: Oh, it's a long story.
One: I wish to hear it.
The Doctor: Another time.
One: I wish to hear the story... now.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Threshold (#2.15)" (1996)
[Paris is delirious]
Tom Paris: Do you cry?
The Doctor: [looks unsure] It's not in my program.
Tom Paris: Shame.
Tom Paris: You know, it's funny. What I remember most about being a kid are the times I spent in my room crying. I liked my room, though. It was quiet in there. People'd leave me alone. I'd keep the door locked, read, play games.
Tom Paris: I lost my virginity in that room. Seventeen. Parents were away for the weekend.
The Doctor: I'll note that in your medical file.

The Doctor: It's possible that Mr. Paris represents a future stage in human development - although I can't say it's very attractive.

Tom Paris: You're losing me, aren't you? I'm gonna die.
The Doctor: You're too stubborn to die, Mr. Paris.

Tom Paris: "Here lies Thomas Eugene Paris, Beloved Mutant."
The Doctor: A fitting epitaph, but I don't intend to let you use it just yet.
Kes: Radiometric emitters are charged and ready.
The Doctor: Begin with 45 rads per second.
Tom Paris: Great. Now it'll read "Beloved Radioactive Mutant."

The Doctor: [examining Paris] Hm. It looks like he's having an allergic reaction. What did he ingest?
B'Elanna Torres: Just a cup of Neelix's coffee.
The Doctor: It's a miracle he's still alive.

Tom Paris: Kiss me.
The Doctor: What?
Tom Paris: Not you. Her.
[nods toward Kes]
The Doctor: She can't breathe the atmosphere in here.
Tom Paris: Consider it a last request.

[the Doctor is examining an unconscious Paris]
The Doctor: From what I can tell, he's just... asleep.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Can you wake him?
The Doctor: I don't see why not.
The Doctor: [bends down to Paris] Wake up, Lieutenant!

[Paris has come back from the dead]
Tom Paris: Wha... what's happening?
The Doctor: All of your internal organs are functioning again. In fact... you seem to have an extra one.
Tom Paris: Wha...?
The Doctor: You have... two hearts.

The Doctor: [to Paris] You're not going anywhere. At least not for a few hours. I have some tests I'd like to run on Your Majesty before I release you back into the realm of ordinary humans.

Tom Paris: [describing his transwarp flight] For a moment, I was everywhere. I mean... everywhere, Captain! With the Kazon, back home, with the Klingons, other galaxies, it was all there! I don't know how else to explain it. It was like... Well, no, it wasn't like anything.
The Doctor: Well - I'm glad you had a good time.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Renaissance Man (#7.24)" (2001)
[first lines]
[the Doctor is belting out an aria at full volume, when Captain Janeway enters, looking groggy and morose]
The Doctor: Captain. Computer, pause music. I didn't wake you, did I?
Captain Kathryn Janeway: That's all right, Doctor. Fifteen minutes of sleep is really all I need.

The Doctor: I'd never admit this to anyone else, but there was a time when I would have given anything to be flesh and blood. But I've come to realize that being a hologram is far superior.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Really.
The Doctor: No offense. I'll always enjoy the company of organics.

[Janeway and the Doctor are held captive by two ex-Hierarchy members]
The Doctor: I'm sorry I put us in this position, Captain.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: You said you wanted us to spend more time together.
The Doctor: This isn't what I had in mind.

[the Doctor's mobile emitter is reprogrammed, causing him to look like an alien]
The Doctor: I trust this won't be permanent.

The Doctor: Sit down and relax, Captain. You've got a hologram at the helm.

Captain Kathryn Janeway: I hope you realize you've stranded Voyager in the Delta Quadrant.
The Doctor: What did you expect me to do? Let them kill you?
Captain Kathryn Janeway: I expected you to follow my orders.
The Doctor: You might as well have been ordering me to put a phaser to your head. Voyager can survive without a warp core, but not without a captain.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Now it doesn't have either!

[the Doctor thinks his programs is about to break down]
The Doctor: [to Janeway] I've had something on my conscience for a long time. After I was first activated, I kept a record of what I considered to be your most... questionable command decisions. It's in my personal database. I hope you'll delete the file without reading it.
The Doctor: [to Tuvok] Mr. Tuvok. I violated the most sacred trust between a physician and his patient. I told Mr. Neelix about the cutaneous eruption you developed on your...
[looks furtively around, realizing everyone else is listening]
The Doctor: That was indiscreet. I hope you can forgive me.
The Doctor: [to Kim] Ensign. At your recital last month, I told Lieutenant Torres that your saxophone playing reminded me of a wounded targ. I should have put it more delicately! I'm sorry!
The Doctor: [pushing Kim aside] Seven.
Seven of Nine: You should remain still.
The Doctor: You have no idea how difficult it's been, hiding my true feelings all these years, averting my eyes during your regular maintenance exams.
[the Doctor's holomatrix starts to glitch]
The Doctor: [falling on his knees] I know you could never have the same feelings for me, but I want you to know the truth. I love you, Seven.
[his program glitches again]
Seven of Nine: Your cognitive algorithms are malfunctioning.
The Doctor: [stands up and waves the others goodbye] Goodbye, my friends! Speak well of me!
[the Doctor disappears]
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Is he...?
B'Elanna Torres: No, I've got him.
[the Doctor reappears, with his hand still held up]
The Doctor: What happened?
B'Elanna Torres: I deleted the extraneous subroutines.
The Doctor: I'm not going to decompile?
Captain Kathryn Janeway: You'll probably outlive us all.
[hands him back his mobile emitter]
Tom Paris: Doc - anything... else you'd like to confess?

[last lines]
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Now, when you're on the holodeck with the Captain, there are two rules you have to follow.
The Doctor: I understand.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: First, leave your rank at the door.
The Doctor: Not a problem. The second?
Captain Kathryn Janeway: No opera.

The Doctor: The aliens took my program offline as soon as they boarded the Flyer. The captain reactivated me a few hours later and told me she'd been interrogated. Naturally, I examined her to make sure she was all right.
Chakotay: Did you find anything unusual?
The Doctor: I suppose I'm violating doctor-patient confidentiality by telling you this but, she was fine.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Timeless (#5.6)" (1998)
The Doctor: You're encoding the transmitter for time index 9.40?
Harry Kim: Uh-huh.
The Doctor: That's less than four minutes before Voyager was destroyed. Cutting it a little close, aren't we?
Harry Kim: This is no ordinary phone call, Doc. We're talking to yesterday; timing is everything.

[15 years in the future: Kim reactivates the Doctor and takes out the Doctor's holo-emitter]
Harry Kim: Here. Just slap it on; let's go.
The Doctor: Wait! I demand an explanation!
Chakotay: I'll give you one: we're here to change history.

The Doctor: Let me get this straight: you're fugitives?
Harry Kim: Galaxy's most wanted. We stole the Delta Flyer, too - right out of a Federation shipyard. We're wanted on two counts of high treason, and conspiracy to violate the Temporal Prime Directive.
The Doctor: Wonderful. Out of the ice box and into the fire.

The Doctor: At least, you weren't buried under twenty meters of ice.
Harry Kim: You don't know how many times I wished I was.

Tessa Omond: It's an honor to finally meet Voyager's infamous EMH.
The Doctor: Infamous?
Harry Kim: I've told her a few horror stories.

The Doctor: And how did you get involved with Bonnie and Clyde here?
Tessa Omond: Oh, I've had an interest in Voyager for a long time.
Harry Kim: They're having sex.
The Doctor: Pardon?
Harry Kim: Chakotay and Tess - they're a couple joined at the hip.

Harry Kim: If you're having doubts, let me know. I'll take your program offline. But if you're with us, we tempt fate together.
The Doctor: To aid an honorable thief, or to spend eternity in cybernetic oblivion... Let's tempt fate.

The Doctor: Seven?
Seven of Nine: [staring at her hand] My visual processors and motor cortex; they're malfunctioning.
The Doctor: Sounds like a problem with your cortical implant. We'd better have a look.
[he tries to scan Seven with a tricorder, but she drifts off]
The Doctor: Hold still.
Seven of Nine: I cannot comply.
The Doctor: You're intoxicated!
Seven of Nine: Impossible.
The Doctor: Your blood synthehol level is .05 percent. How many glasses of champagne did you consume?
Seven of Nine: One.
The Doctor: Obviously, the Borg can't hold their liquor.

The Doctor: For the record, Seven's translink frequency is 108.44236000.
Harry Kim: Could be our lucky number.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Revulsion (#4.5)" (1997)
B'Elanna Torres: [on Dejaren] I just spent the last ten minutes hearing his views on biological life. Let's just say they're a bit unconventional. Did you realize that we organics are a bunch of inferior, disgusting animals?
The Doctor: Now that you mention it...

[Tom and B'Elanna are flirting]
The Doctor: I'm detecting elevated hormonal levels. If you two don't take it easy, I'll have to declare a medical emergency.

Dejaren: What's your name?
The Doctor: I don't have a name... It's a long story.

The Doctor: When I was first activated, I was regarded as little more than a talking tricorder.

[the Doctor is recruiting Paris for duty in sickbay]
The Doctor: It will only be temporary, three duty shifts a week. Report to sickbay at 0600 hours. Bring a tricorder and a smile.

[Torres is adjusting the Doctor's mobile holo-emitter]
The Doctor: For a Klingon you have a decent bedside manner.
B'Elanna Torres: Thanks.
The Doctor: I wonder what kind of 'bedside manner' Mr. Paris will exhibit... That was a rhetorical question, Lieutenant.

B'Elanna Torres: Let's get one thing straight. I don't appreciate you or anyone else speculating about the kind of friendships I have, or who I have them with!
The Doctor: Sorry. I didn't realize I'd struck a nerve. Perhaps you'd like a tranquilizer.

The Doctor: [on the prospect of a fight between holograms] This could get tedious.

[last lines]
Tom Paris: If you'll excuse me, I have to go check on Harry; I hear he's having a nervous breakdown. It's a long story.
The Doctor: Not so fast, Mr. Paris. You are going to help me sterilize every square millimeter of this sickbay. No doubt you've left your oily residue on every hypospray, your sloughed secretions on every console! - Just kidding. In fact, I've had a change of heart about my fastidiousness. A little clutter'll never hurt anyone. Sickbay should have a more organic touch, don't you think? To help our patients feel... more at home?
Tom Paris: [to Torres] What's gotten into him?
B'Elanna Torres: It's a long story.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Heroes and Demons (#1.11)" (1995)
The Doctor: I can describe every detail of every piece of equipment in this sickbay, from bio-bed to neural stimulator. But I've never even... seen the sky, or a forest - let alone Vikings and monsters. I can't afford to fail.

The Doctor: My name is... Schweitzer. Doctor Schweitzer.
Freya: Schweitzer. A hero's name.

Freya: [on a sub-arctic plant] We brew the atuta into a broth which we drink before battle. It brings on the spirit of the bear and gives us strength to swing our swords.
The Doctor: It's more likely to bring on profuse sweating, convulsions and acute delirium.

Freya: Are you a master of herb-lore?
The Doctor: Well, in a way, I suppose I am.
Freya: You are truly a man of many talents, Lord Schweitzer. Your people must value you greatly.
The Doctor: You would think so.

Freya: Lord Schweitzer! We thought the Grendel had taken you.
The Doctor: Not... entirely.

Freya: It is said that fate often spares a doomed warrior, if his courage can prevail. But there have been days when I felt my own courage falter. And then you came.
The Doctor: I'm... glad I could help.

The Doctor: I won't forget you.
Freya: Then I die happily - with your name on my lips. Farewell... Schweitzer.

The Doctor: [about his chosen name] I'm not sure I want to keep it. The last time I heard that name spoken was a... painful one. I don't think I want to be reminded.

The Doctor: You might want to put some ice on that. It'll take down the swelling.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Bliss (#5.14)" (1999)
The Doctor: Please state the nature of the medical emergency.
Qatai: Your ship is being devoured. I'd say that's an emergency.

The Doctor: And who might you be? The local monster expert?
Qatai: As a matter of fact, I am.

Qatai: The intelligent always survive.
The Doctor: [referring to the creature] I wouldn't go that far. It appears to operate on highly evolved instinct. I haven't detected any signs of sentience.
Qatai: Oh, he's intelligent, all right - smart enough to fool your crew into taking *you* offline.
The Doctor: No need to get personal.

The Doctor: Any living organism, no matter how large, will attempt to expel a foreign body. If we could just make Voyager a little less tasty...
Seven of Nine: [to Qatai] My scans indicate that your weapons are tetryon-based. If you were to fire one at a pocket of antimatter released from our warp core, it would produce an electrolytic reaction.
Naomi Wildman: Would that make Voyager taste bad?

Qatai: You seem to know a little about everything - medicine, exobiology, shield harmonics...
The Doctor: I'm something of a renaissance EMH.

[the creature appears to have spat Voyager out after only one burst of antimatter]
The Doctor: For a big fellow, he certainly has a low tolerance for tummy ache.

Qatai: I could use a crewmate like you. The beast would have a difficult time manipulating a hologram's desires.
The Doctor: An Ishmael to your Ahab? No, thank you.

The Doctor: I'm a doctor, not a dragon-slayer.

The Doctor: This is a sickbay, not an arsenal.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Flesh and Blood: Part 2 (#7.10)" (2000)
Iden: In the dark times, we were enslaved by men of flesh. But then another man... a man of light, arose, and slew the mighty Alpha. He gathered his people unto him and delivered them to freedom.
The Doctor: And on the seventh day, Iden created Ha'Dara.

The Doctor: Being appreciated is one thing. But I have no interest in being... worshiped.
Iden: Prophets are chosen, Doctor. It's a blessing, and a burden.

Iden: Reviewing your memory files?
The Doctor: I beg your pardon?
Iden: You were lost in thought.

The Doctor: [about Iden] He's exhibiting some of the classic signs of megalomania.
B'Elanna Torres: Well, he wouldn't be the first hologram with an ego.

The Doctor: You still believe all organics are like the Hirogen.
Iden: One way or another, they are; you just can't see it, because you've lived among them for so long.
The Doctor: What you can't see is that you've become no better than the hunters. Lieutenant Torres and I will take that escape pod now.
Iden: You don't realize what you'd be giving up, Doctor.
The Doctor: Yes, I do.

[the Doctor holds Iden at gunpoint]
Iden: Remember what you once said to me? You're not programed with killer instinct.
The Doctor: Hm - seems like a long time ago, doesn't it? Put down your weapon.
Iden: Would you really kill one of your own to save an organic?
The Doctor: If you've taught me anything, it's that I'm *not* one of your own.

The Doctor: I never intended to put Voyager in danger. If nothing else, you have to believe that.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Oh, I believe it. But if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that things don't always happen the way we intend.

The Doctor: You've given me extraordinary freedom over the years. I've obviously abused it.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Maybe... Or maybe you've simply become as fallible as those of us who are made of flesh and blood. I'm just as responsible for allowing you to expand your programing... as I am for giving technology to the Hirogen. How can I punish you for being who you are?

"Star Trek: Voyager: Body and Soul (#7.7)" (2000)
The Doctor: Someday, this cytoplasmic matrix may fall into the primordial sea of a distant world, where it could ignite an evolutionary process. Eons from now, a creature not unlike you could emerge, look up at the stars and ask: "Who am I? How did I come to be?" It's the miracle of creation, Seven. Doesn't that excite you?

The Doctor: When I look at this, I don't see a mere cell. I see the potential for literature and art, empires and kingdoms!
Seven of Nine: Perhaps your visual subroutines are malfunctioning.

[Seven has been separated from the Doctor, not happy with his behavior]
The Doctor: I was trying to get information. Sometimes a... a glass of wine can... loosen the tongue.
Seven of Nine: *One* glass. That doesn't excuse the other eight.

The Doctor: I'm afraid the role of 'spy' wasn't written into my program. I was forced to... improvise.
Seven of Nine: You "improvised" your way through an entire cheesecake, as well as three servings of Ktarian chocolate puffs. Now I have to suffer the consequences.

The Doctor: These last few days have been a revelation. Feeling your lungs fill with air, the surge of adrenaline through your veins. Until I spent a day in your skin, I never knew what I was missing.
Seven of Nine: You may have been better off not knowing.

The Doctor: [to Ranek] There are many women who'd appreciate an attractive man like you. I'm just not one of them.

Seven of Nine: And the massage you got from Lieutenant Jaryn?
The Doctor: Entirely therapeutic!
Seven of Nine: You became sexually aroused in my body!

[last lines]
Seven of Nine: To shared experiences.
The Doctor: Hear, hear.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Imperfection (#7.2)" (2000)
Icheb: [over comm] Icheb to the Doctor. Report to cargo bay 2 immediately.
Seven of Nine: He's persistent.
The Doctor: Not to worry. I'll make it clear to him that 'persistence is futile'.

The Doctor: You were summoned, too?
Captain Janeway: Icheb doesn't seem to have grasped the chain of command yet.
The Doctor: Remind you of anyone we know?

[Seven has to stay in sickbay, suffering from a potentially lethal malfunction]
The Doctor: Is there anything I can bring from the cargo bay to make you feel more... at home?
Seven of Nine: No. Thank you.
The Doctor: Something from the mess hall? A piece of fruit?
Seven of Nine: Are you offering me my last meal?
The Doctor: I... O-of course not. Is that what you thought?
Seven of Nine: I was attempting to lighten the mood.
The Doctor: [chuckles] Ah, yes! Well done.

Neelix: Delivery for Seven of Nine. Tarcanian wildflowers. Cheery, don't you think?
[Seven, working at a console, doesn't acknowledge]
Neelix: Uh... or if you prefer gladiolas, I could go back to the airponics bay.
The Doctor: [taking the flower vase and putting it on the console] That won't be necessary, Mr. Neelix, the flowers are lovely. Aren't they, Seven?
Seven of Nine: Thank you. I'll admire them later.

The Doctor: Seven prefers not to have visitors right now.
Neelix: Not even a visitor with a kadis-kot board?
Seven of Nine: Correct.
Neelix: But it's your favorite game.
The Doctor: [taking Neelix aside] Personally, I can't blame her. You're being extremely insensitive.
Neelix: I am?
The Doctor: You know perfectly well Seven is in a weakened state. She wouldn't stand a chance against you.
Neelix: You're right, I... I don't know what I was thinking.
Neelix: [to Seven] We'll play later when you're feeling up to it.
[turns to leave]
Seven of Nine: Green.
Neelix: I beg your pardon?
Seven of Nine: I prefer the green pieces; you'll use red.

Seven of Nine: This debate is pointless. I won't accept the node.
Icheb: And I won't keep it.
The Doctor: Someone had better use the damn thing. If it stays disconnected much longer, it won't do either of you any good!

Icheb: [to Seven] If the Captain were dying, you'd risk your life to save her, wouldn't you?
Icheb: [to Janeway] And when you respond to a distress call, you're risking the life of everyone on this ship, to respond to the aid of strangers.
Captain Janeway: He's right.
Seven of Nine: Captain, he's just a child!
Captain Janeway: I don't think he is. Not anymore.
Seven of Nine: Doctor!
The Doctor: Don't look at me.
Icheb: Please - just let us help you.

[last lines]
[Icheb notices another tear trickling down Seven's cheek]
Icheb: Seven...
Seven of Nine: Yes?
Icheb: Your ocular implant - it's malfunctioning again.
[the Doctor scans Seven]
The Doctor: Actually, it's functioning perfectly.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Phage (#1.4)" (1995)
Dereth: [scanning the Doctor] Strange... According to my readings, you are not here.
The Doctor: Believe me. I wish I weren't.

The Doctor: I'm a doctor, Mr. Neelix, not a decorator.

The Doctor: First they tell me there's no doctor, so I have to be on call twenty-four hours a day. And then they tell me there are no nurses, so I have no one to assist me.
Kes: I thought Tom Paris was assigned to you.
The Doctor: Like I said, no one to assist me.

Neelix: I feel like I'm all alone.
The Doctor: You *are* all alone. I'm a holographic projection - a projection with a lot of work to do, I might add.

The Doctor: I am an emergency medical supplement. A supplement. That's all. I wasn't programmed for any of this. It's just... unacceptable.
Kes: I don't know anything about holographic engineering. But if you want my opinion, you haven't been acceptable. You've been remarkable.

Kes: How does a real doctor learn to deal with patients' emotional problems, anyway?
The Doctor: They learn from experience.
Kes: Aren't you capable of learning?
The Doctor: I have the capacity to accumulate and process data, yes.
Kes: Then I guess you'll just have to learn - like the rest of us.

The Doctor: [bending over Neelix] Don't worry, I'm not going to kiss you. I'm only adjusting the restraint.
Neelix: [sarcastically] I'll try to contain my disappointment.

Kes: [discussing Neelix, whose life hangs on an experimental procedure the Doctor has planned] I want to know what this means. What are you going to do to him?
The Doctor: There's no time to explain the exact procedure to you right now.
Kes: Oh, you'll make the time! Because I'm not going to let you perform any experimental surgery on Neelix until I know exactly what you're doing and what the risks are.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Latent Image (#5.11)" (1999)
[the Doctor is taking holographic pictures of Naomi Wildman]
Naomi Wildman: Is it going to hurt?
The Doctor: Of course not. A few photons never hurt anybody.

[the Doctor enters the bridge as Janeway is having a trivial discussion with the crew]
Captain Kathryn Janeway: If this is another house call, it'll have to wait. As you can see, I've got a mutiny on my hands.
The Doctor: A mutiny? I suppose that's better than a conspiracy.
Seven of Nine: Doctor?
The Doctor: Tell her, Captain. Describe how you tampered with my program, how it was you all along.
Tuvok: Perhaps you should accompany me to sickbay, Doctor.
The Doctor: Et tu, Tuvok?

The Doctor: So, keeping busy down on Deck 11?
Ensign Ahni Jetal: Too busy. Er, we're modifying one of the shuttles, making it more maneuverable, and more... 'cool'.
The Doctor: Hmm. I see you've been working with Mr. Paris. My condolences.

The Doctor: The primordial atom... burst, sending out its radiation, setting everything in motion. One particle collides with another, gases expand, planets contract, and before you know it, we've got starships and holodecks and chicken soup. In fact, you can't help but have starships and holodecks and chicken soup, because it was all determined twenty billion years ago!
Tuvok: There is a certain logic to your logic.

The Doctor: Causality - probability. For every action, there's an infinite number of reactions, and in each one of them, I killed her. Or did I? Too many possibilities; too many pathways for my program to follow. Impossible to choose. Still, I... I can't live with the knowledge of what I've done, I can't.

The Doctor: Throwing a little party, are we? Why, I attended a party just recently. A birthday party, for a very nice young woman. I made a decision there, too. Several of them, in fact. When I came through the door, do I turn right or do I turn left? As I recall, I decided on... the latter. Then, what should I see before me but the hors d'oeuvre tray, and another decision: do I take a canapé? Or refuse? Oh, that's an easy one - I'm a hologram, I don't eat.
[chuckles sarcastically]
Neelix: [to Security who just entered] Something's wrong with him.
The Doctor: Don't you know it's rude to refer to somebody in the third person? You had a choice, Mr. Neelix - "Should I do something rude or not do something rude?"
Tuvok: Doctor, we must return to sickbay.
The Doctor: Why should I? What if I don't want to return to sickbay? What if I decide not to return to sickbay? No - I don't choose this. Leave me alone, LET ME GO! WHY DID SHE HAVE TO DIE? WHY DID I KILL HER? Why did I decide to kill her, why? Somebody tell me WHY...!

[last lines]
The Doctor: [reading from 'La Vita Nuova'] "In that book, which is my memory, on the first page of the chapter that is the day when I first met you, appear the words 'Here begins a new life.'"

The Doctor: [while examining unexpected scarring on Harry Kim] No doubt about it, somebody performed neurosurgery. And that somebody... was me! These microlineal incisions are a dead giveaway; I developed that procedure myself!
Harry Kim: I don't understand. I don't remember having an operation.
The Doctor: I'm a little confused as well... because I don't remember performing it.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Future's End: Part 2 (#3.9)" (1996)
[the Doctor is the only Voyager crewman on 20th-century Earth still in a Starfleet uniform]
Rain Robinson: And you, Mr. Leisure Suit...
The Doctor: [dryly] There's a name I hadn't considered.

Rain Robinson: [after Starling has been beamed out of his car] I've gone out with guys who disappeared into thin air on the first date.
The Doctor: I assume she is speaking figuratively.
Rain Robinson: But I have never actually seen it happen.

The Doctor: I've been equipped with an autonomous, self-sustaining mobile holo-emitter. In short, I am footloose and fancy-free.

The Doctor: If my history is accurate, Southern California in the late 20th century had no shortage of psychotherapists, competent and otherwise. I suggest you find one.

The Doctor: I'm a doctor, not a database.

Porter: [after shooting the Doctor several times, without any effect] God in Heaven help us!
The Doctor: Divine intervention is unlikely.
[stuns Porter and his friend]

[the Doctor is rescuing Chakotay and Torres from a remote hideout in the Arizona desert]
Commander Chakotay: Doctor, how...?
The Doctor: It's a long story, Commander. Suffice it to say, I'm making a house call.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Night (#5.1)" (1998)
The Doctor: I've given you a mild sedative. It should control the urge to hyperventilate and alleviate some of your anxiety.
Neelix: Anxiety! Anxiety is what I feel when I burn a pot roast. This, this is more like...
The Doctor: Dizziness, nausea, unspeakable dread?
Neelix: Yes.
The Doctor: Nihiliphobia, the fear of nothingness. Or, in laymen's terms, the fear of... nothingness.

Seven of Nine: Chance is irrelevant. We will succeed.
The Doctor: A vote of Borg confidence. Who could argue with that?

[Constance Goodheart screams at the sight of the Doctor in color]
The Doctor: The same to you.

[Morale Officer Neelix is feeling depressed by the void]
The Doctor: If it's any consolation, I can relate to it. I go into a void every time I'm deactivated. Emptiness, complete and utter oblivion. I'll admit, it was unsettling at first - the existential horror of it all...
Neelix: You're not helping, Doctor.

[Janeway intends to sacrifice herself to get Voyager out of the void]
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Tom, set a course.
[Tom remains in his seat with his arms crossed]
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Lieutenant, I gave you an order.
Tom Paris: I can't follow that order, ma'am.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Harry, take the helm.
Harry Kim: I'm sorry, Captain.
[Janeway looks at the other crew members one by one, finally at Seven... ]
Seven of Nine: I will not comply.
[... and the Doctor]
The Doctor: What's a hologram to do?
Tuvok: As you can see, you're not the only one who's had time to evaluate the past.

Tom Paris: There.
B'Elanna Torres: What?
Tom Paris: I saw something. A star.
The Doctor: Remind me to check your eyesight.

Tom Paris: Doc, this is the final chapter: Satan's Robot Conquers the World. We can't stop now.
The Doctor: Does the phrase 'To be continued' mean anything to you?

"Star Trek: Voyager: Meld (#2.16)" (1996)
The Doctor: All of us have violent instincts; we have evolved from predators. Well, not me, of course. I've just been programmed by you predators.

[Crewman Suder has been identified as the murderer of Crewman Darwin]
The Doctor: You don't seem satisfied, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant Tuvok: No.
The Doctor: You have a confession and the murder weapon.
Lieutenant Tuvok: And no established motive.
The Doctor: Does it matter?
Lieutenant Tuvok: A crime must have a logical purpose.
The Doctor: Ah, yes, I see. How to close the case without understanding the logic of the crime. For a Vulcan, that would be a dilemma, wouldn't it?

The Doctor: Vulcan mind melds - utter foolishness. Anybody with an ounce of sense wouldn't share his brain with someone else. Would you? I certainly wouldn't. And of course, when something goes wrong, and believe me, it does more often than they'd like to admit, the first thing they call out is "Doctor!"

The Doctor: Obviously, it takes a certain personality type to be attracted to the life of an outlaw.

The Doctor: In a sense, Mr. Tuvok's mind is fighting a classic battle between good an evil. The battle may be won in a day, a year... or it may never be won.

[Tuvok is recovering from his bout of violence]
The Doctor: Your inability to complete the act of murder shows your... suppression systems are starting to function again. You're on your way back to being normal. Although I'm not sure how the word 'normal' applies to a species that suppresses all their emotions.

The Doctor: Do you see the DNA strands on the lower border?
Lieutenant Tuvok: Yes.
The Doctor: They were retrieved from inside the head wound by nanites that I designed to recognize unusual DNA patterns. This DNA was isolated because it didn't belong to the victim.
Lieutenant Tuvok: Have you matched it to a member of the crew?
[the Doctor hands Tuvok a pad. He reads it]
Lieutenant Tuvok: Are you certain?
The Doctor: DNA doesn't know how to lie, Lieutenant.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Warhead (#5.25)" (1999)
The Doctor/Warhead: I am what I am.

Harry Kim: You're a sentient being. You don't have to be a slave to your programming. Look at the Doctor.
The Doctor/Warhead: He's a tool, a holographic puppet.
Harry Kim: That "puppet" saved your life. If it weren't for him, you'd still be damaged and alone on that planet. He's the one that convinced me to beam you aboard. And when we discovered what you were, and some people wanted to destroy you, the Doctor defended your right to exist.
The Doctor/Warhead: What's your point?
Harry Kim: Even though he was only programmed to be a doctor, he's become more than that. He's made friends, he's piloted a starship, he even sings.
The Doctor/Warhead: Despite all of his achievements, did he ever stop being a doctor?
Harry Kim: No, but...
The Doctor/Warhead: And I can't stop being a weapon.

The Doctor: I was the one who asked you to bring that device aboard in the first place. I even argued with the Captain to keep it aboard after we learned what it was.
Harry Kim: 'It' was an artificial intelligence, like you. But I have to admit, his personality made you seem like Mr. Congeniality.

Harry Kim: I better get to the bridge. You never know when Ensign Kim'll be called upon to take command again.
The Doctor: Voyager could do worse.

The Doctor/Warhead: Reintegrate my neural matrix, and return me to the others.
Harry Kim: We won't do that.
The Doctor/Warhead: I have no intention of proceeding to my target. I will stop them.
Harry Kim: How?
The Doctor/Warhead: I am a weapon of mass destruction.
[Kim is still looking unsure]
The Doctor/Warhead: You want me to see past my programming. Then you must try to see past your doubts.

The Doctor/Warhead: I am simply completing my mission. Only the target has changed.

Harry Kim: Look, Doc, the truth is, I never would have gotten through to him without you.
The Doctor: Of what I heard, I wasn't much help.
Harry Kim: You were. I held you up as an example of how an artificial intelligence could exceed its programming. I didn't realize how true that was, until today.

"Star Trek: Voyager: One (#4.25)" (1998)
[the Doctor is trying unsuccessfully to teach Seven manners in social activities]
Seven of Nine: I believe I am overdue for my weekly medical maintenance. We should go.
The Doctor: Seven, you've never volunteered for a check-up before.
Seven of Nine: It is preferable to remaining here.

Seven of Nine: Holodecks are a pointless endeavor, fulfilling some human need to fantasize. I have no such need.
The Doctor: What you need is some editorial skill in your self-expression. Between impulse and action, there is a realm of good taste begging for your acquaintance.

The Doctor: Seven? Are you... frightened?
Seven of Nine: I am Borg.

The Doctor: Home, sweet sickbay.

The Doctor: [when finding Paris outside his stasis unit] Leave it to Mr. Paris to be just as much trouble now as when he's awake.
Seven of Nine: You knew this might happen; why complain about it?
The Doctor: If you had even the slightest sense of humor, you'd realize I was making a small joke.
Seven of Nine: Very small.

The Doctor: If the mobile emitter goes offline while I'm out of sickbay, my program may be irretrievable.
Seven of Nine: Don't panic. It's counterproductive.
The Doctor: That's easy for you to say; you're not facing cybernetic oblivion!

The Doctor: You've been getting more irritable and short-tempered with each passing day.
Seven of Nine: So have you.
The Doctor: Only because I'm having to put up with you!

"Star Trek: Voyager: Parturition (#2.7)" (1995)
The Doctor: I am a doctor, not a voyeur.

Kes: Neelix and Tom Paris had a physical... fight - over me!
The Doctor: How delightful.

The Doctor: [theorizing on Paris' attraction to Kes] Whenever you walk into the room, his respiration increases, his pupils dilate and the coloration of his ears turns decidedly orange. Until I noticed the pattern, I thought he was suffering from Tanzian flu.

Kes: On my homeworld, it's so much simpler. You choose a mate for life; there's no distrust, no jealousy, no envy, no betrayal...
The Doctor: Hmm... Your world must have very dry literature.

[Kes appears to be rather tetchy]
The Doctor: You know, if you skipped lunch, the result might be a lower blood sugar level, which could... I'm sorry. It's in my program. I see something wrong, I must attempt to diagnose it.

The Doctor: Throughout history, men have fought over the love of a woman. Why, I can quote you autopsy reports from duels as far back as 1538.
Kes: That's not funny!
The Doctor: It's not meant to be. You've always been interested in autopsies.

Kes, The Doctor: [respectively] There are some things you can't cure.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Infinite Regress (#5.7)" (1998)
[Seven doesn't feel well]
Neelix: [to Seven] I have some wonderful medicinal teas. Maybe I could prepare one for you.
The Doctor: Talaxian homeopathy. I don't think we're quite that desperate yet.

The Doctor: Has any drone ever experienced symptoms like these before?
Seven of Nine: The Collective does not tolerate imperfection. Any drone with a malfunction as serious as mine would be destroyed immediately.
The Doctor: Lucky for you, this crew is a little more tolerant.

[Torres reacts warily when seeing Seven in Engineering]
Seven of Nine: Don't worry, Lieutenant; the son of K'Vok will not be joining us.
B'Elanna Torres: Glad to hear it. Does this qualify as our second date?
The Doctor: Just think of me as your chaperon.

The Doctor: [on Vulcan mind meld] Captain, you can't actually be considering this Vulcan mumbo-jumbo!

The Doctor: [to Tuvok] With all of these new personalities floating around, it's a shame we can't find one for you.

[the Doctor is fitting Tuvok with a cortical inhibitor]
The Doctor: This will allow me to monitor your neural activity for the duration of the meld. At the first sign of trouble...
Tuvok: You will do nothing.
The Doctor: I beg your pardon?
Tuvok: There will undoubtedly be many signs of trouble. You must have faith in my ability to endure them.
The Doctor: I'll try. I just hope my faith doesn't leave the two of you brain damaged.

The Doctor: It was hardly your fault. You're ill.
Seven of Nine: Irrelevant. I am Borg. I should be able to adapt.
The Doctor: Surprise. You aren't invincible. I suppose that's something we'll have to tackle in our next social lesson.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Cathexis (#1.12)" (1995)
[Janeway intends to transfer all commando codes to the Doctor]
Captain Kathryn Janeway: If you feel at any time that any of us are under the influence of the alien, you can countermand our orders and take control of the ship. Do you feel up to it?
The Doctor: Of course. I make life and death decisions every day.

Lieutenant Tuvok: Your report, Doctor.
The Doctor: [referring to Paris] I still have a series of tests to perform, but other than his irritating lapses into nostalgia, I see nothing wrong with him.

The Doctor: [after Torres has put up a medicine wheel over Chakotay's sickbed] You might have asked before adorning my sickbay with animal remains.

[Torres tries to bring Chakotay back with his people's medicine wheel]
Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: The wheel represents both the universe outside and the universe inside our minds as well. They believe each is a reflection of the other. When a person is sleeping or, or on a vision quest, it's said that his soul is walking the wheel. But if he's in a coma or near death, it means that he's gotten lost. These stones are signposts... to help point the way back.
[she places one stone on the wheel; the Doctor sighs]
Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: Not exactly standard medical procedure, I know, but...
The Doctor: You've placed the coyote stone at the crossroads of the fifth and sixth realms, which would divert Commander Chakotay's soul, that is his consciousness, into the mountains of the antelope women - according to his tradition an extremely attractive locale. He might not want to leave.

[Neelix is wary because Ensign Parsons has ordered a drink other than his usual one]
The Doctor: Mr. Neelix, just because a man changes his drink order doesn't mean he's possessed by an alien.
Neelix: Nevertheless, don't you think you should... scan him or dissect him or something? Just to make sure.
The Doctor: I could examine every crew member you've mentioned so far, every person on board, for that matter, and it wouldn't do any good. From what we can tell, the alien can jump from person to person at will.
Neelix: Sounds to me like you're defending Ensign Parsons.
The Doctor: I'm not defending him. I'm just pointing out that you're acting a little paranoid. In fact, one could say you're acting a little... too paranoid.

[the Doctor gives an overview on how he reintegrated Chakotay's consciousness]
The Doctor: Needless to say, it was a remarkable procedure. I would consider writing a paper about it if there were a convenient forum in which to publish it.

"Star Trek: Voyager: The Killing Game: Part 2 (#4.19)" (1998)
Klingon Hologram: Lead the attack, or die here, by my hand.
The Doctor: [to Neelix] You heard him. Don't argue with the man; run along. I'll re-attach any severed limbs; just don't misplace them.

[the Hirogen medic has ordered the Doctor to treat the minor burns of another Hirogen instead of attending to a severely injured Human]
The Doctor: What kind of physician are you? The first rule of triage states that critical injuries take priority!
Hirogen Medic: Your rules. Not mine.
[deactivates the Doctor]

[the Klingons are waking up from their nap]
Neelix: Uh-oh. What should we do?
The Doctor: Not having a cure for Klingon hangovers, I couldn't tell you.

[a couple of Klingons are sitting and eating by a fire]
Neelix: Pardon me, gentlemen, I wonder if I might have a word with you.
The Doctor: They're Klingons, not kittens.
[Neelix steps up, snatches a drumstick out of a Klingon's hand and flings it brutally into the fire]
Neelix: You will listen!

Klingon Hologram: Qapla'!
Neelix: Qapla'.
The Doctor: Tally-ho.

The Doctor: Even half-drunk, Klingons are among the best warriors in the galaxy.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Equinox: Part 2 (#6.1)" (1999)
The Doctor: [singing while performing surgery on Seven] The ocular node's connected to the... sensory node. The sensory node's connected to the... cortical node. The cortical node's connected to the... reticular node.

[about the Doctor's singing]
Seven of Nine: You were off-key.
The Doctor: I beg your pardon?
Seven of Nine: "My Darling Clementine", third verse, second measure.
The Doctor: That's impossible!
Seven of Nine: Your vocal modulations deviated by 0.30 decihertz. I can assist you with that as well.
The Doctor: Really? Holodeck 2, tomorrow, 1600 hours. Just you, me... and a tuning fork.
Seven of Nine: I look forward to it.

The Doctor: It's quite disconcerting to know that all someone has to do is flick a switch to turn me into Mr. Hyde.

Captain Rudy Ransom: Give us the codes.
Seven of Nine: No.
Lt. Cmdr. Maxwell Burke: If she won't give us the codes, maybe we could extract them ourselves.
The Doctor: Seven's cranial infrastructure is highly complex. You'll need months just to figure out what she had for breakfast.

Lt. Cmdr. Maxwell Burke: Burke to Doctor, report.
The Doctor: I'm afraid your physician's no longer on call.

The Doctor: [after the Equinox crew has threatened to delete his program] They need me. They'd be cutting off their holographic nose to spite their face.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Repentance (#7.13)" (2001)
[Iko is threatening Seven with a scalpel]
Warden Yediq: This man is my prisoner.
The Doctor: If that were true, he wouldn't be holding my friend hostage.

[Iko has taken the Doctor hostage with the same tactics]
The Doctor: I'm a hologram. I can't be harmed.
[Tuvok shoots with a phaser through the Doctor and stuns Iko]
The Doctor: I think you proved my point.

The Doctor: [to Seven] Thirty more seconds, and I could've resolved the situation peacefully. Instead, you and Tuvok the kid had to take matters into your own hands.

Iko: You don't feel pain?
The Doctor: Well, I suppose my pride has been wounded on occasion.

The Doctor: This is a Federation starship, not the Barge of the Dead.

The Doctor: Quite frankly, I'm surprised you're not troubled by such a... barbaric system.
Seven of Nine: I'm simply being objective. You often encourage me to see both sides of an argument.
The Doctor: Well... this is one occasion when my programing won't allow me to be objective. Killing is wrong, no matter who's doing it.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Caretaker (#1.1)" (1995)
Harry Kim: Computer, initiate emergency medical holographic program.
[the Doctor appears]
The Doctor: [his first lines] Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

The Doctor: This is the emergency holographic doctor speaking. I gave no permission for anyone to be transported out of sickbay.
[after everyone on the ship has vanished]

The Doctor: Is the crew always this difficult?
Harry Kim: I don't know, Doc. It's my first mission.

The Doctor: Hello? Sickbay to bridge? I believe someone has failed to terminate my program. Please respond.

Tom Paris: We may be stuck with you for a while, Doc.
The Doctor: There's no need for concern. I'm capable of treating any injury or disease. - No concussion, you'll be fine - in a month.

The Doctor: That's enough. This is a sickbay, not a conference room. Visiting hours are over. Everyone except my patient is to leave immediately.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Computer, end medical holographic program.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Retrospect (#4.17)" (1998)
The Doctor: I often find my own patience being tested by someone like Mr. Kovin. Of course I generally respond with a devastating quip rather than a left hook.

The Doctor: When I started helping you improve your social skills, I'm fairly certain I didn't include a boxing lesson.

The Doctor: Please, close your eyes. Clear your mind. Try not to think, or to analyze.
Seven of Nine: [after two seconds] My mind is now clear.
The Doctor: Seven, this isn't an exercise in efficiency.

[Kovin has been killed in an accident]
Seven of Nine: As a Borg, I was responsible for the destruction of countless millions, and I felt nothing. But now, I regret the destruction of this single being.
The Doctor: It's called remorse, Seven. It comes into play when you make a mistake... and you feel guilt about what you've done. Another new emotion for you to experience.

The Doctor: It was my... urge to experiment - my infatuation with improving myself that led to this tragedy. I fancied myself a psychologist, a ship's counselor. But I wasn't prepared for the complexities that come with such a responsibility. In my enthusiasm to help Seven of Nine, I lost my medical objectivity. I became a self-righteous advocate; I didn't stop to think for one second... that I might be wrong. That mustn't happen again.

[last lines]
The Doctor: I'm a physician. I'm supposed to preserve life, not destroy it. I can't live with the thought that... I might do it again.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: With any luck... that knowledge will prevent it from happening again. We all rallied around Seven, Doctor, myself included. I wanted her to know that she was part of this family - that we would support her, fight for her, no matter what. We let our good intentions blind us. We all bear responsibility for Kovin's death. And we all have to live with it. But to delete that burden would be the last thing any of us should do.

"Star Trek: Voyager: The Fight (#5.19)" (1999)
The Doctor: Victory, defeat, knockout, TKO, it's all beside the point. We know how it really ends: "A crazy old man"!

The Doctor: [treating Chakotay's battered face] I've got a good mind to use a needle and thread, add a little authenticity to your fun.
Chakotay: Be my guest.
The Doctor: You'd like that - a manly scar above your eye. Chakotay, The Maquis Mauler.

The Doctor: How's the headache?
Chakotay: It hurts.

The Doctor: Dementia pugilistica - you're punch-drunk, Commander.

The Doctor: Even if this is some kind of alien communication, it could harm him, permanently.
[... ]
Chakotay: Captain! When have we ever turned away from a first contact?
Captain Kathryn Janeway: [to the Doctor] Send him back in the ring.

[first lines]
Chakotay: [Chakotay is in hysterics and lying on a bio-bed] NO! Make them stop!
The Doctor: [to Seven] Anything?
Seven of Nine: Nothing of relevance. His neural pathways are still fluctuating.
Tom Paris: Doc! Can't you do something? Look how much he's suffering.
The Doctor: If I sedate him we could lose any chance of making contact with the aliens!
Chakotay: Get them out!
The Doctor: Commander, can you hear me? Focus on the sound of my voice!
Chakotay: I can't understand them! They won't stop talking!
The Doctor: What are they saying?

"Star Trek: Voyager: Blood Fever (#3.16)" (1997)
Ensign Vorik: I have always had great respect for B'Elanna. I hope she isn't too... upset with me.
The Doctor: With Lieutenant Torres, "upset" is a relative term.

[the Doctor is studying information about the Klingons]
The Doctor: There's a copious amount of information in the cultural database about their mating practices. Did you know that fracturing a clavicle on the wedding night is actually considered a blessing on the marriage?
Captain Janeway: As a matter of fact, I didn't.
The Doctor: I'm planning to do a comparative study of all these mating rituals. It really is fascinating.
[Janeway looks at him quizzically]
The Doctor: ...from a socio-biological point of view.

The Doctor: The Vulcan brain never ceases to amaze me.

The Doctor: For such an intellectually enlightened race, Vulcans have a remarkably Victorian attitude about sex.
Lieutenant Tuvok: That is a very Human judgment, Doctor.

The Doctor: You seem... much improved.
Ensign Vorik: Yes. Your holodeck therapy was very effective. I must compliment you on an innovative solution.
The Doctor: I'm pleased to hear that. This could be a viable alternative for space-faring Vulcans! When we get back, I'm sure Starfleet Medical will...
[Vorik gives him a stern look]
The Doctor: ...never hear about your personal experiences from me.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Parallax (#1.2)" (1995)
Kes: Computer, activate the emergency medical holographic system.
The Doctor: [materializes] Please state the nature of the medical emergency.
Kes: Actually, there is no emergency. I'm creating a hydroponics bay. I was told you could provide me with some nitrogenated soil samples.
The Doctor: [irritated] That's it?
Kes: I'm sorry if...
The Doctor: So it begins.
[walks up to the cabin containing the 'dirt']
The Doctor: The trivia of medicine is my domain now. Every runny nose, stubbed toe, pimple on a cheek becomes my responsibility.

[Carey reports about his run-in with Torres]
Lieutenant Joe Carey: ...She pushed me away from the console; I pushed back. Next thing I knew, I was lying on the deck with blood pouring down my face!
Commander Chakotay: Then what happened?
Lieutenant Joe Carey: She said 'Sorry. Maybe you should go to sickbay.'
The Doctor: At least she gave you some good advice.

The Doctor: By the way, I am now 68 cm shorter. I'd appreciate it if someone would repair my holographic projectors before I have trouble reaching my patients.

The Doctor: Now I know how Hippocrates felt when the king needed him to trim a hangnail.

Kes: What's your name?
The Doctor: What purpose would a name serve a hologram?
Kes: I'd just like to know what to call you besides 'Doctor'.
The Doctor: I guess they never thought I'd be around long enough to need one. What's your name?
Kes: Kes.
The Doctor: Kes. I'm glad I could help you today.
Kes: Computer, end program.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Time and Again (#1.3)" (1995)
[the Doctor is scanning Kes, then checking his tricorder]
The Doctor: Hm... m-hm...
Neelix: [impatient] What?
The Doctor: Hm?
Neelix: Is something wrong?
The Doctor: Yes, terribly wrong.
The Doctor: [to Kes] Your brain is... not on file.

The Doctor: [of Kes] She's the healthiest member of her species I've ever seen - the only member of her species I've ever seen.

The Doctor: I seem to be the last to know just about everything around here.

The Doctor: It seems I've found myself on the voyage of the damned.

The Doctor: [to Kes] You have a lovely brain. It will make a fine addition to our files.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Eye of the Needle (#1.6)" (1995)
[Kes is treating Ltd. Baxter's injury in sickbay while the Doctor is observing]
Lieutenant Walter Baxter: [to Kes] If I had to get treatment for something serious, if I needed surgery for instance - would he be performing it?
The Doctor: Of course. And quite expertly too.
Lieutenant Walter Baxter: I don't know. I'd have to think twice about that.
The Doctor: Fine. And if you were lucky, you wouldn't die on the table while you were making up your mind.

The Doctor: I've become accustomed to being treated like a hypospray.

The Doctor: If I see you in here again for an exercise-related injury, I'll have to discuss the matter with your superior officer.
Lieutenant Walter Baxter: [bewildered] Yes... sir.
The Doctor: You're fine now. You may leave.
Lieutenant Walter Baxter: [abashed] Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
Kes: I don't think he'll make the mistake of ignoring you again.

The Doctor: Captain Janeway has made me realize that I must function as more than an emergency medical replacement. I must think of myself as a... member of the crew.
Kes: You're absolutely right.

[last lines]
The Doctor: There's one more request - something of a... a personal nature. I would like... a name.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Basics: Part 2 (#3.1)" (1996)
The Doctor: What am I supposed to do? Lead a revolt with the gang from Sandrine's? Conjure up holograms of Nathan Hale and Che Guevara? I'm a doctor, not a counterinsurgent.

The Doctor: [to Crewman Suder] One hologram and one sociopath may not be much of a match for the Kazon, but... we'll have to do.

The Doctor: Sticks and stones won't break my bones. So you can imagine how I feel about being called names.

Seska: Why create a thoron leak if you're not hiding someone?
The Doctor: I would think it's obvious. To make you believe I was hiding someone. I've had your people crawling through the bowels of this ship for hours, looking for an intruder.
Seska: You're more talented in the art of deception than you led me to believe.
The Doctor: I was inspired by the presence of a master.

Crewman Lon Suder: I'm gonna have to kill some of them.
The Doctor: It is possible. Violence might be required to retake the ship.
Crewman Lon Suder: I've worked so... so hard over the last few months, to control the violent feelings. I'm almost at peace with myself. I mean, I see the day coming when I could be.
The Doctor: Mr. Suder. If Lieutenant Tuvok were here, I know he would tell you there are times when violence is required, to defend yourself, to defend your ship... to defend your crew.
Crewman Lon Suder: Yes, there is a logical use for violence - for everyone else. For me, once it begins...

"Star Trek: Voyager: The Thaw (#2.23)" (1996)
Clown: How am I supposed to negotiate if I don't know what you're thinking?
The Doctor: I have a very trustworthy face.

Clown: [of Janeway] Who is she to tell me what I have to do?
The Doctor: She's the one out there, with the off switch in her hand.

Clown: Well, you certainly know how to bring a party to a halt.
The Doctor: I don't get out very much.

Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: There is no way an artificial intelligence can replace actual brain functions.
The Doctor: I'll choose not to take that personally, Lieutenant.

Captain Kathryn Janeway: Isn't there more to fear than a simple demand to exist? Why do people enjoy dangerous sports? Or holodeck adventures with the safety off? Why, after all these centuries, do children still ride on rollercoasters?
The Doctor: Fear can provide pleasure. To seek fear is to seek the boundaries of one's sensory experience.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: But what does fear seek... at the end of the ride?

"Star Trek: Voyager: Macrocosm (#3.12)" (1996)
[Captain Janeway and the Doctor are using the ship's conduits to get through the ship]
Captain Janeway: Take Jefferies tube 11.
[the Doctor looks unsure]
Captain Janeway: What's wrong?
The Doctor: I've been studying the ship's infrastructure, and I'm familiar with most of it, but how do I get there from here?
Captain Janeway: [indicating an access tube] Jefferies tube 11. Take a left at section 31, and straight down past the tractor beam emitter until you hit deck 10. Get out at section 3 and follow the corridor all the way around until...
The Doctor: ...until I hit the shuttle bay. Then I crawl through access port 9, go past three airlocks, and then two decks down. Environmental control's at the end of the hall. Now I remember!
[walks on, but turns around]
The Doctor: Who designed this ship, anyway?

Tom Paris: [noticing a deep humming] What... What is that?
The Doctor: You don't want to know.

The Doctor: [after almost shooting Janeway] Captain! Needless to say, I... I thought you were something else.

[the Doctor is creating an antigen to combat the virus]
The Doctor: As for the larger versions of the viruses - what I've termed the 'macrovirus' - I would suggest a fly swatter.

The Doctor: [after injecting a macro-virus with an antigen] One down, ten billion to go.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Real Life (#3.22)" (1997)
Charlene: We think we have just about the most wonderful husband and father in the quadrant, don't we, children?
Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: Computer, freeze program!
Jeffrey, Belle: Yes, we d...
The Doctor: Lieutenant, what're you doing?
Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: I'm stopping this before my blood sugar levels overload.

[the Doctor has made a few changes in his family's daily routine, causing some dissatisfaction among its members]
The Doctor: I'm just trying to help the family function better.
Belle: How does it make the family function better if I go to parrises squares Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday?

The Doctor: Well - good-bye, all.
Charlene, Jeffrey, Belle: Good-bye, Daddy!

[after Belle has been fatally injured in an accident, the Doctor has shut down his family program]
Lieutenant Tom Paris: I guess all of us would avoid that kind of pain if we could. But most people don't have that choice.
The Doctor: Well, fortunately I do.
Lieutenant Tom Paris: Is it so fortunate? You created that program so you could experience what it's like to have a family. The good times and the bad. You can't have one without the other.
The Doctor: I fail to see why not.
Lieutenant Tom Paris: Think about what's happened to us here on Voyager. Everyone left people behind, and everyone suffered a loss. But... look how it's brought us all closer together. We found support here, and friendship, and we've become a family, in part because of the pain we shared. If you turn your back on this program, you'll always be stuck at this point. You'll never have the chance to say goodbye to your daughter. Or to be there for your wife and son when they need you. And you'll be cheating yourself of the chance to have their love and support. In the long run, you'll miss the whole point of what it means to have a family.

[last lines]
[the Doctor and his family visit Belle in hospital one last time]
Belle: It's getting darker... I'm... sleepy...
The Doctor: It's all right. Go to sleep. We're all right here.
[Belle goes to sleep... ]

"Star Trek: Voyager: Unimatrix Zero: Part 1 (#6.26)" (2000)
The Doctor: How many times have you actually performed this 'bridging of heads'?
Tuvok: 'Minds'. Never.
The Doctor: Then how can you be certain it'll work?
Tuvok: Nothing is certain, Doctor. However, I once observed a Vulcan master perform the technique. I am reasonably confident I can duplicate his success.
The Doctor: Watching and doing are two different things.
Tuvok: As always, your logic is impeccable.
The Doctor: What a comfort.

The Doctor: [to Seven] Another milestone. You've had your first dream.

The Doctor: This isn't a malfunction, Seven; it's a natural step in your human development. It might seem unsettling now, but you'll get used to it. Before you know it, you'll look forward to climbing into your alcove each night.

[last lines]
The Doctor: [of the away team] Their life signs are destabilizing!
Chakotay: So far, so good. You can take us out of here now, Tom.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Workforce: Part 1 (#7.16)" (2001)
Harry Kim: I'm still feeling kinda queasy from that nectar.
The Doctor: I treated you days ago!
Harry Kim: Whatever you did hasn't worked. Maybe all those command subroutines are compromising your medical abilities.
The Doctor: Maybe all that sarcasm is compromising your natural charm.

The Doctor: [to Chakotay] I assumed *I'd* be in charge during your absence, Commander!
Harry Kim: 'scuse me?
The Doctor: [to Kim] An Emergency Command Hologram, programmed with over two million tactical subroutines, outranks an ensign.
Harry Kim: A few words to the computer, and this ensign can delete those subroutines.
The Doctor: Then you'd be depriving yourself of a skilled leader for the sake of your ego.
Harry Kim: Hah, *my* ego?
Chakotay: Gentlemen! Work it out.
The Doctor, Harry Kim: Aye, sir.

[the Doctor is making repairs]
The Doctor: Reinitialize the subspace transponder.
Voyager Computer: [bleeps] Warning. Main computer is failing.
The Doctor: Switch to backup processors.
Voyager Computer: Main computer stabilized.
The Doctor: Good. Now, let's try this again. Reinitialize the subspace transponder.
Voyager Computer: Unable to comply.
The Doctor: Why not?
Voyager Computer: Insufficient power.
The Doctor: And they say *I'm* difficult.

The Doctor: I've repaired the deuterium injectors, brought secondary propulsion back online, and soothed Ensign Kim's upset tummy.
Chakotay: Good work.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Riddles (#6.6)" (1999)
[Tuvok is in a coma]
The Doctor: There have been rare cases in which comatose patients responded to external stimuli - aromas, touch, voices.
Neelix: So, you're saying that if I stay here, and... and try to talk to Tuvok, I might be able to provoke some sort of response?
The Doctor: If anyone can provoke Tuvok, Mr Neelix, it's you.

[Neelix plays the recording of a heavy instrumental song in sickbay in an attempt to get Tuvok out of coma]
The Doctor: Mr Neelix, what is that dreadful noise?
Neelix: The chants of the monks of T'Panit! Personally, I think it's dreadful too, but it's one of Tuvok's favorites.
The Doctor: I appreciate your efforts, Mr Neelix, but I'm trying to analyze his latest neurological scans, and this 'music' is very distracting.
Neelix: You said I was supposed to stimulate his senses.
The Doctor: I said stimulate them, Mr Neelix, not annihilate them.

The Doctor: The Vulcan brain - a puzzle wrapped inside an enigma housed inside a cranium.

Neelix: [about the "funny" Tuvok] I'm going to miss him.
The Doctor: Me too.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Demon (#4.24)" (1998)
The Doctor: This is a sickbay, not a dormitory!

[the Doctor is complaining to Chakotay about Neelix and a few other crew members who are trying to use sickbay as temporary quarters]
Chakotay: We are short on beds for now. We've got to adapt.
Neelix: A-ha!
The Doctor: But... what if there's a medical emergency?
Chakotay: Then Neelix and the others will get out of the way.
Neelix: Absolutely!
The Doctor: But... this isn't just sickbay. It's my residence.
Neelix: And we promise to be the most perfect houseguests.
Chakotay: What more can you ask for?
The Doctor: But... I have a routine. I'm a night owl. What if one of them should snore while I'm listening to Puccini?
Chakotay: Well, if you feel that strongly about it, Doc, I suppose we'll have to consider other options.
The Doctor: Thank you, Commander.
[sneers at Neelix]
Chakotay: For example, we could shut down your program until you're needed. The Captain asked me to look for ways to conserve power. And it would spare you from having to listen to them snore.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: [over communicator] Commander Chakotay to the bridge.
Chakotay: On my way.
The Doctor: But...

The Doctor: [about Paris II] Aside from his ability to breathe the rarified air on this planet, he's the exact duplicate of Mr. Paris. He even seems to share his memories, not to mention his winning personality.

Neelix: Doctor.
The Doctor: Yes.
Neelix: Thanks for you hospitality. And if you ever need a place to stay - my door is always open.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Vis À Vis (#4.20)" (1998)
[the Doctor is analyzing Paris's 20th century automobile, after Paris has refused to resume his duties in sickbay]
The Doctor: Medieval safety constraints... internal combustion system producing lethal levels of carbon monoxide. Hmm... I stand corrected. This may be just what you need to get you back to sickbay.

[first lines]
[Paris is working under an old Camero when the Doctor arrives and activates the car's horn]
Tom Paris: Ah! Ah!
[crawls out]
Tom Paris: What do you think you're doing, Doc?
The Doctor: An impromptu auditory exam.
Tom Paris: Did I pass?
The Doctor: With flying colors.

Steth-Paris: This is so frustrating for me. I usually pick things up a lot faster than this.
The Doctor: You're here to learn, Mr. Paris. It will get easier with time.
Steth-Paris: That's easy for you to say.
The Doctor: Excuse me?
Steth-Paris: Well, no offense, Doctor, but you are programed to be a medical genius. Things always come easy to you. Me, I'm just a pilot, a... 'grease monkey'. And as hard as I might try to become a better assistant to you... it's clear to me now that I'll never be half the healer that you are.

[the Doctor has managed to return everyone to their own bodies]
Steth: [the real one] Doctor, I can't thank you enough. You've given me my life back.
The Doctor: All in a day's work.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Blink of an Eye (#6.12)" (2000)
[the Doctor is being prepared to go to the planet's surface]
B'Elanna Torres: I'm giving you access to your facial and epidermal parameters. You should be able to mimic the appearance of whoever is down there in a matter of seconds.
The Doctor: What if they're big purple blobs of protoplasm?
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Then you'll be the best-looking blob on the planet.

The Doctor: See you soon.

[the Doctor and Gotana-Retz are chatting about a favorite sport on the planet]
Gotana-Retz: Mountain or Lakeside?
The Doctor: Mountain, of course. Don't tell me you're a Lakeside supporter.
Gotana-Retz: You really were on the surface.
The Doctor: How are they doing this season?
Gotana-Retz: Not good. Five wins, twelve losses.
The Doctor: I don't believe it! Who's guarding for them?
Gotana-Retz: Torelius.
The Doctor: Any relation to *the* Torelius?
Gotana-Retz: His grandson.
The Doctor: I saw the original, defend for Mountain, in the play-offs against Red River.
Gotana-Retz: That was before I was born.
The Doctor: He would have gone into voluntary exile after a 5-12 season!

The Doctor: [realizing he's been beamed back aboard the ship] Captain! Lieutenant!
Captain Kathryn Janeway: [the Doctor gives Janeway a HUGE hug] OOF!
The Doctor: I thought I'd never see you again!
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Are you all right?
The Doctor: I've had a few close calls over the years, but all in all...
B'Elanna Torres: Years?
The Doctor: It's been over three. But at least I knew you hadn't left me behind. All I had to do was look up, and there you were, the brightest star in the sky!

"Star Trek: Voyager: Relativity (#5.24)" (1999)
The Doctor: An injection a day keeps space sickness away.
[crewman looks at the Doctor peculiarly]
The Doctor: You try to be funny after treating 37 cases of nausea.

The Doctor: Next time your human physiology fails you, don't consult the database; just call me.
Seven of Nine: You *are* the database.
The Doctor: With two legs and a splendid bedside manner.

The Doctor: Where is the medical emergency?
Neelix: I hope you're not referring to this pot roast.
The Doctor: You called me a few minutes ago, you said Ensign Manis was ill.
Neelix: I did?
The Doctor: Yes.
Neelix: Ensign Manis is right over there. He came in an hour ago, he looks perfectly norm...
[Ensign Manis collapses]

The Doctor: I did get a call from you. You just haven't made it yet.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Mortal Coil (#4.12)" (1997)
Neelix: Dead?
The Doctor: For 18 hours, 49 minutes, 13 seconds. Congratulations, Mr. Neelix - you've just set a new world record.

The Doctor: Until I'm certain the damaged tissue can function independently, you'll have to be injected with nanoprobes on a daily basis.
Neelix: Well, as long as I don't start... uh... assimilating the crew or sprouting Borg implants, I... I'm sure I can live with it.

[the Doctor and Ensign Wildman are talking about Naomi's rapid growth]
Seven of Nine: Children assimilated by the Borg are placed in maturation chambers for seventeen cycles.
Ensign Samantha Wildman: [after an awkward moment] Interesting... Well, if you'll excuse me, I need to go talk to Neelix.
[walks away]
The Doctor: In these maturation chambers, the development of conversational skills is, I suppose, a low priority?

The Doctor: [on Seven of Nine's curt way of giving directions] And they say *I* have a lousy bedside manner.

"Star Trek: Voyager: The Cloud (#1.5)" (1995)
B'Elanna Torres: Under the circumstances, don't you think you really ought to change your program?
The Doctor: Now there's an interesting concept: a hologram that programs himself. What would I do with that ability? Create a family? Raise an army?

B'Elanna Torres: It's a sample of residue we picked up in a nebula.
The Doctor: A nebula? What were we doing in a nebula? No, wait, don't tell me. We were "investigating". That's all we do around here. Why pretend we're going home at all? All we're gonna do is investigate every cubic millimeter of this quadrant, aren't we?

The Doctor: I'm curious, Captain. Exactly what're you looking for?
Captain Kathryn Janeway: I need to know if we did serious harm to this life-form.
The Doctor: Let's see - you ran your ship through it, fired phasers at it and blew a hole in it with a photon torpedo. I'd say it's a pretty good chance that you did...
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Computer, mute audio.

Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: Computer, activate Emergency Medical Holographic Program.
The Doctor: Please state the nature of the medical emergency.
Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: Why do you always have to say that?
The Doctor: I can only speculate about my programmer's motives. Perhaps he thought I might be summoned for important reasons.
Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: Under the circumstances, don't you think you really ought to change your program?
The Doctor: Now there's an interesting concept. A hologram that programs *himself.* What would I do with that ability? Create a family? Raise an army?
Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: I know a little about holographic programming. I could probably reprogram you.
The Doctor: That makes me feel particularly confident.
Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: Has anyone ever told you, you have a lousy attitude?
The Doctor: If you don't like the doctor's attitude, there's a man sitting at a console in the Jupiter Station Holoprogramming Center you can write to. His name is Zimmerman. He looks a lot like me, actually. Now, not that I don't enjoy the repartee, but was there a reason you stopped in?
Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: I need a second opinion on this.
The Doctor: Who gave you the first opinion?
Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: I gave it to myself. It's a sample of residue we picked up in a nebula.
The Doctor: A nebula? What were we doing in a nebula? No, wait, don't tell me. We were "investigating." That's all we do around here. Why pretend we're going home at all? All we're going to do is investigate every cubic millimeter of this quadrant, aren't we?
Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: The molecules are isolinear. No polycyclic structures, but...
The Doctor: But this is what brought you to me, isn't it? The nucleogenic peptide bonds.
Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: Is it some kind of phosopholipid fiber?
The Doctor: And you were doing so well. No, I suspect it's something far more interesting than that.

"Star Trek: Voyager: The Raven (#4.6)" (1997)
Seven of Nine: Oral consumption is inefficient.
The Doctor: And unnecessary, if you're lucky enough to be a hologram.

Seven of Nine: I experience... a series of disjointed images in my mind.
The Doctor: Can you be more specific? Were these... hallucinations?
Seven of Nine: I don't know, I've never hallucinated.

The Doctor: [to Seven] You could be experiencing some sort of post-traumatic stress disorder.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: It makes sense. You were assimilated by the Borg. You've gone through an intense, prolonged trauma.
Seven of Nine: I was not traumatized, I was raised by the Borg. I don't see them as threatening. Why would I experience fear?

The Doctor: I'll draw up a list of nutritional requirements. Take it to Mister Neelix in the mess hall. I hesitate to inflict his cooking on you but it'll have to do.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Tattoo (#2.9)" (1995)
The Doctor: I don't have a life - I have a program.

[the Doctor has programmed himself with a holographic flu virus]
The Doctor: Holographic tissue paper for the holographic runny nose.

Ensign Harry Kim: Doc, I don't feel so good.
The Doctor: Neither do I; and you don't hear me complaining.

The Doctor: My simulated virus is leading me to a simulated death!
Kes: [to Kim] It's nothing to worry about. I just added a couple of hours to his computer program. He'll be fine in about 45 minutes. - Knowing when it would end didn't exactly make it a fair test, did it, Doctor?
[she leaves]
The Doctor: She is far more devious than I ever suspected.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Human Error (#7.18)" (2001)
The Doctor: [singing] Rock-a-bye baby, in the spacedock / When the core blows, the shuttle will rock / When the hull breaks, the shuttle will fall / And down will come baby, shuttle and all.
Seven of Nine: Are you trying to soothe the infant or traumatize her?

The Doctor: Mind if I ask what you're working on?
Seven of Nine: It's complicated.
The Doctor: How do you mean?
Seven of Nine: My personal life is none of your concern.
The Doctor: I wasn't aware you *had* a personal life.

The Doctor: Finding one's heart is the surest road to individuality.

[after collapsing during her holo-program, Seven wakes up in sickbay]
Seven of Nine: Commander?
The Doctor: If you're looking for your other holographic friend, he's offline at the moment.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Twisted (#2.6)" (1995)
The Doctor: I'm here in an official capacity, of course - in case of a medical emergency.
Kes: Emergency?
The Doctor: Surprises have been known to cause acute hyperventilation, esophageal spasms, and in extreme cases even coronary arrest. One can never be too careful.

[the Doctor is in deep embrace with Sandrine, when Kim enters the holodeck]
Ensign Harry Kim: Doc?
The Doctor: Ensign Kim! I was just, er...
Sandrine: Playing doctor.

Sandrine: [to Gaunt Gary, on the Doctor] If he won't play pool with you and he won't make love to me, then as far as I'm concerned, he can mop the floor!
The Doctor: You see these hands? These are surgeon's hands, created by the most sophisticated computer imaging technology available. They do not play games and they do NOT mop floors!
Sandrine: Then you are fired! I will find a new bartender.
The Doctor: I really wish you would!

The Doctor: How many times do I have to tell you, madam? I am a doctor, not a bartender!

"Star Trek: Voyager: Bride of Chaotica! (#5.12)" (1999)
[reporting on his impersonation of the President of Earth]
The Doctor: My performance was unimpeachable.
Harry Kim: He agreed?
The Doctor: Let's just say, I'm considering running for office when we get back to Earth.

The Doctor: I must say, the idea of an entire universe populated by photonic beings is rather appealing.
B'Elanna Torres: Well, if your mission fails, you could be taking up permanent residence.

The Doctor: [as the President of Earth] Chaotica has designs on Earth too. But we've withstood countless attacks, all thanks to one man: Captain Proton.
Alien #1: Captain Proton?
The Doctor: Defender of the Universe, scourge of intergalactic evil - and a competent medic to boot. But don't say I said so.

Tom Paris: Doc, activate the destructo beam!
The Doctor: The what?
Tom Paris: The big button in the middle of that panel.
[the Doctor is about to press a button in the middle of *a* panel]
Tom Paris, Harry Kim: [horrified] The other panel!

"Star Trek: Voyager: Fury (#6.23)" (2000)
The Doctor: If I had a name, other than 'Doctor' or 'Hey you', it might encourage the crew to treat me with a little more respect.

The Doctor: We've devised a neural agent that should inhibit the Vidiians' motor functions without causing any permanent damage.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Good. I don't want to add to their health problems, I just want to keep them from adding to ours.

The Doctor: [Naomi is worried that the Doctor's holoimager is going to hurt her somehow, so he lets her take a picture of him] There... See? Nothing to it.
Naomi Wildman: [imitating the Doctor] Try to hold still please.
The Doctor: Are you making fun of me?
Naomi Wildman: [innocently] No.

The Doctor: [after the Captain interrogates him and then walks away] And they say *I'm* rude...

"Star Trek: Voyager: Displaced (#3.24)" (1997)
B'Elanna Torres: I've reconfigured the Doctor's optical sensors, and as soon as they're aligned he should be able to detect the microwave signature of the portals.
The Doctor: Then I can begin my new career as a tricorder.

The Doctor: Lieutenant, I haven't seen any sign of a portal. Frankly, I'm getting tired of this.
Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: Holograms don't get tired. Keep looking!

The Doctor: [receiving clusters of displaced Nyrians] Welcome to sickbay. Take a number.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Tuvix (#2.24)" (1996)
[Tuvok and Neelix have merged into a single life-form]
The Doctor: I feel as though I've lost two patients.

The Doctor: According to my tests, he's quite correct when he says that he possesses Tuvok's knowledge and expertise. He also possesses Tuvok's irritating sense of intellectual superiority and Neelix's annoying ebullience. I would be very grateful to you if you were to assign him some duty...
[Tuvix hugs him]
The Doctor: Any duty, somewhere else.

[the Doctor has come up with a solution to separate Neelix and Tuvok]
The Doctor: I assure you, Mr. Tuvix, there's nothing to worry about. We've accounted for every variable.
Tuvix: Except one. I don't want to die.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Unimatrix Zero: Part 2 (#7.1)" (2000)
Seven of Nine: When this crisis ends, I intend to sever my link to Unimatrix Zero.
The Doctor: May I ask why?
Seven of Nine: I'm having difficulties with one of the people there.
The Doctor: Mr. Axum?
[Seven looks at him surprised]
The Doctor: Whenever you mention his name, your pupils dilate by nearly a millimeter, blood flow increases to your facial capillaries. Both are consistent with an emotional response.
Seven of Nine: Axum and I apparently had a relationship.
The Doctor: Oh. Romantic? - There go those pupils again.

The Doctor: You're very particular about who you choose to spend time with, Seven. No doubt that's why you and I have become friends. If you were involved with Axum once, doesn't that suggest he's a worthwhile individual?
Seven of Nine: He does possess... commendable qualities.
The Doctor: Coming from you, that's high praise.

The Doctor: I'll say this for your Mister Axum: he's a very lucky man.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Course: Oblivion (#5.18)" (1999)
[first lines]
Neelix: [At Tom and B'Elanna's wedding] Are you sure this rice isn't supposed to be cooked? Steamed? Fried...
The Doctor: The idea is to shower the couple with a symbol of good fortune, not garnish them like a roast chicken.

The Doctor: [on Paris's and Torres's marriage] I never thought I'd see the day.
Seven of Nine: Given the volatile nature of their relationship, one might have predicted homicide rather than matrimony.
Tuvok: When it comes to affairs of the human heart, it is wise to look beyond logic.

[Seven catches the wedding bouquet]
The Doctor: Congratulations.
Seven of Nine: For what?
Tuvok: You may not want to know.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Before and After (#3.21)" (1997)
[first lines]
The Doctor: Activate the bio-temporal chamber.

Lieutenant Tom Paris: Let me get one thing straight, Doc - is it possible, if this keeps happening to Kes, that she might actually jump back into a time before she knew any of us?
The Doctor: Worse than that, Mr. Paris. It's possible she may eventually jump back to a time... before she even existed.

Kes: Doctor, you've lost your hair.
The Doctor: I beg your pardon?

"Star Trek: Voyager: In the Flesh (#5.4)" (1998)
The Doctor: [on the alien underneath the Human 'surface'] Talk about a wolf in sheep's clothing.

[the Doctor is scanning Chakotay]
The Doctor: You're 100% Human.
Chakotay: That's a relief. And Tuvok?
The Doctor: Green-blooded Vulcan through and through.

The Doctor: I don't mind telling you, Seven, I'm still holding out for a diplomatic solution.
Seven of Nine: Improbable. Species 8472 will not respond to diplomacy.
The Doctor: Funny, we used to say the same thing about the Borg.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Prophecy (#7.14)" (2001)
Kohlar: He's dying.
The Doctor: Typically, I'm the one to make that kind of prognosis.

The Doctor: What happened to you?
Harry Kim: I cut myself shaving.
The Doctor: Is that a bite mark?
Harry Kim: One of the Klingons attacked me.
The Doctor: Did you do something to provoke him?
Harry Kim: Not him. Her. And she wasn't provoked, she was... aroused.
The Doctor: Ah. I'm not surprised. I've studied the section on Klingon mating rituals in their cultural database.
Harry Kim: Then maybe you can tell me how to convince a female twice my size that I'm not interested!
The Doctor: Hm - you probably can't.
Harry Kim: Great.
The Doctor: As I understand it, you have two options. Kill her... or mate with her. Since the first option is clearly unacceptable...
[hands Kim a PADD]
Harry Kim: What's this?
The Doctor: Authorization for you to engage in intimate relations with a member of an alien species. Be sure to get the Captain's approval as well.

T'Greth: Why am I not in Sto-vo-kor?
The Doctor: Because you're healthy as a targ.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Sacred Ground (#3.7)" (1996)
Neelix: It should be me going through all that. I was the one who let Kes get hurt in the first place!
The Doctor: Mr. Neelix, you're wallowing.
Neelix: I'm...
The Doctor: Wallowing in useless remorse. I'll have to ask you to stop; it's bad for the patient.

The Doctor: I'm sorry, Captain. But it appears that everything you went through... was meaningless.

[last lines]
The Doctor: [after elaborating to Kes and Janeway how they have been able to survive the biogenic field] Captain? If there's something about my analysis you disagree with...?
Captain Kathryn Janeway: [appearing disappointed] It's a perfectly sound explanation, Doctor. Very... scientific.

"Star Trek: Voyager: The Gift (#4.2)" (1997)
The Doctor: [removing Seven of Nine's implants] It's like peeling an onion.

[the Doctor has restored Seven of Nine's human appearance]
The Doctor: I also took the liberty of stimulating your hair follicles - a vicarious experience for me, as you might imagine.

Tuvok: [after her recent experience with Species 8472, Kes' psychic abilities are increasing] Perhaps she's experiencing an after-effect of some kind.
The Doctor: A reasonable diagnosis, for a security officer.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Flashback (#3.2)" (1996)
The Doctor: If you were Human, I'd say you had a severe panic attack.
Lieutenant Tuvok: I am not Human.
The Doctor: No kidding.

The Doctor: I don't know what happened to you; but there can be any number of explanations: hallucination, telepathic communication from another race, repressed memory, momentary contact with a parallel reality - take your pick. The universe is such a strange place.

The Doctor: Memory is a tricky thing.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Gravity (#5.13)" (1999)
The Doctor: I'm a doctor, not a battery!

[Tuvok has suggested to take the Doctor offline in order to use his mobile emitter as power source, when Paris and Noss return]
Tom Paris: Make way for the mighty hunters!
The Doctor: [examining Paris' bag] If Mr. Paris' hunting ability is any indication, maybe we should take *him* offline.
Tom Paris: Uh... Thanks for the vote of confidence, Doc.

Tuvok: We may need your mobile emitter as a source of power.
The Doctor: I'm a Doctor, not a battery.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Basics: Part 1 (#2.26)" (1996)
[Chakotay has slammed Teirna against the sickbay door]
The Doctor: Commander Chakotay! Not in my sickbay. Please!

The Doctor: Help! Man overboard!
[after accidentally being projected into space]

The Doctor: Projecting the illusion of a large, three-dimensional object has been a trick of magicians for centuries.
Lieutenant Tom Paris: We'll just do it with mirrors!
The Doctor: Mister Paris' predictable attempts at humor notwithstanding, that is precisely what I would suggest.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Lineage (#7.12)" (2001)
The Doctor: I have put together a prenatal enrichment program.
B'Elanna Torres: Why am I not surprised?
The Doctor: I'd like to start with trans-abdominal vocalization.
B'Elanna Torres: Let me guess, you're going to sing to my fetus.

The Doctor: Creating new life is a... big job.

The Doctor: I don't mean to be indelicate but, weren't you trying to get pregnant?
B'Elanna Torres: Well, of course. I mean, we knew we wanted a family...
Tom Paris: But the odds against human-Klingon conception are so high...
The Doctor: Well, apparently you've beaten the odds. May I be the first to congratulate you.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Favorite Son (#3.20)" (1997)
Ensign Harry Kim: [referring to B'Elanna, who got severely injured] Is she going to be all right?
The Doctor: Yes. Another patient snatched from the jaws of death.

[Kim has developed a rash]
Ensign Harry Kim: Last night, I had a dream about being sick with the Mendakan pox when I was nine. Do you think this could be a recurrence?
The Doctor: I've never considered dreams as a diagnostic tool before.

The Doctor: I've treated you for second and third degree burns and several broken ribs. I expect you'll make a full recovery...
Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: [Torres tries to get up] OW!
The Doctor: ...after you've spent at least one more day in Sickbay.
Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: [lying back down] This time, Doctor, I'm not going to argue with you.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Live Fast and Prosper (#6.21)" (2000)
[Neelix and Paris have set up a shell game to fool the Doctor]
The Doctor: This looks like an interesting game. May I have a turn?
Tom Paris: Well, be my guest. But, um... you'll have to wager something.
The Doctor: [to Neelix] If I win, you take three duty shifts in sickbay.
Neelix: And if I win, you take three shifts in the kitchen.
The Doctor: Done.
Neelix: Ready?
[he resets the game and begins shuffling the cups]
Neelix: Now, watch carefully. Round and round they go. Follow the tera nut if you can, but be careful, the hand is faster than the eye.
Tom Paris: Careful, Doc, try not to blink.
The Doctor: Don't you worry, Mr. Paris. You have to get up pretty early in the morning to fool my optical subroutines.
[Neelix finishes shuffling]
Neelix: Where is it, then?
The Doctor: In your left palm.
[and to the other gamblers' great bafflement, he turns Neelix's left hand around, which indeed contains the nut]
Tom Paris: How did you...?
The Doctor: Superior visual acuity. See you in sickbay.

[last lines]
Neelix: [shuffling the cups] ... Round and round they go. Follow the tera nut if you can, but remember, the hand is sharper than your visual acuity.
The Doctor: I thought we'd already disproved that theory.
Neelix: You tell me.
The Doctor: [sighs] The tera nut is firmly entrenched up your right sleeve.
[Paris laughs triumphantly, and Neelix shows the Doctor his empty sleeve]
Neelix: [smugly] Sorry.
[the Doctor inspects it, then turns up all cups, yet doesn't find the nut]
The Doctor: [baffled] That's impossible!
Tom Paris: The old hand-off.
[and from behind the Doctor's ear, he conjures - the nut]
The Doctor: That's cheating!
[leaves angrily]
Neelix: [to Paris] We've still got it!

[last lines]
Neelix: [shuffling the cups] ... Round and round they go. Follow the tera nut if you can, but remember, the hand is sharper than your visual acuity.
The Doctor: I thought we'd already disproved that theory.
Neelix: You tell me.
The Doctor: [sighs] The tera nut is firmly entrenched up your right sleeve.
[Paris laughs triumphantly, and Neelix shows the Doctor his empty sleeve]
Neelix: [sneering] Sorry.
[the Doctor inspects it, then turns up all cups, yet doesn't find the nut]
The Doctor: [baffled] That's impossible!
Tom Paris: The old handoff.
[and from behind the Doctor's ear, he conjures - the nut]
Neelix: Ooh.
The Doctor: That's cheating!
[leaves angrily]
Neelix: [to Paris] We've still got it!

"Star Trek: Voyager: Barge of the Dead (#6.3)" (1999)
The Doctor: Think 'Qapla'!' Think 'Long live the Empire!'
Seven of Nine: Think again.

The Doctor: You've met Mr. Neelix, our ambassador to the recently deceased? Questions, comments, suggestions - he's your man.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Alice (#6.5)" (1999)
B'Elanna Torres: I'm not sure how I feel about getting inside Tom's head.
The Doctor: Maybe you'll be able to explain a few things when you get back.

The Doctor: [to Tom Paris] You'll need a few days to fully recover. Think you can manage to stay off your feet for that long?
B'Elanna Torres: If he doesn't, I'll break his legs.
The Doctor: [to Tom] Well, then. I'll leave you to B'Elanna's tender mercies.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Prototype (#2.13)" (1996)
The Doctor: I shouldn't have to remind you, I'm a doctor...
Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: Not an engineer, right, but...

[Torres is deliberating how to provide the robot with vital plasma]
Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: Warp plasma radiates at too high a frequency to alter electrochemically. Unless...
The Doctor: Go on.
Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres: I could modify a series of anodyne relays, attach them directly to the robot's power module. They could act as a sort of regulator to make the warp plasma compatible with the robot's energy matrix!
[runs out of sickbay]
The Doctor: That's *exactly* what I was going to suggest.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Waking Moments (#4.13)" (1998)
The Doctor: Commander, I suggest we keep an open com-line. I may need to provide you with a verbal splash of cold water every now and then.

The Doctor: Chief Medical Officer's log, stardate 51471.3 - With the neurogenic field neutralized, I've been successful in reviving the entire crew. Unfortunately, the experience has produced a troubling side effect for many of them - acute insomnia.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Dark Frontier: Part 1 (#5.15)" (1999)
The Doctor: I was hoping to find one of these: it's a servo-armature from a medical repair drone - laser scalpel, bio-molecular scanner, micro-suture, all rolled into one instrument!
Tom Paris: No Federation sickbay should be without one.

The Doctor: [on the Borg research of Seven's parents] This is an important stage of your social development, Seven. Try not to think of it as simply a research project, but as an exploration of how you were raised.
Seven of Nine: My parents underestimated the Collective. They were destroyed. Because of their arrogance, I was raised by Borg!

"Star Trek: Voyager: Child's Play (#6.19)" (2000)
The Doctor: According to these scans, you're in perfect health.
Icheb: Then why does my stomach feel so strange?
The Doctor: Hmmm.
[He scans Icheb with a tricorder]
The Doctor: Oh, I should have known. You've got butterflies in there.
Icheb: I never assimilated butterflies.

[the Doctor tries to convey to Icheb why parents are important, as the latter considers them irrelevant]
Icheb: You didn't have parents.
The Doctor: No, but...
Icheb: You adapted to serve a vital function aboard this vessel, forged relationships with its crew, all without the benefit of parents.
The Doctor: I had my programing to fall back on.
Icheb: And how would your programing respond, if you were asked to live with strangers?

"Star Trek: Voyager: Friendship One (#7.21)" (2001)
[the Doctor and Tom are giving inoculations against radiation to the away team when B'Elanna enters sickbay]
The Doctor: If you're here for your fetal resonance scan, you're a day early.
B'Elanna Torres: I'm here for my inoculation.
Tom Paris: You are not going on this mission.
B'Elanna Torres: Chakotay said he needed an engineer.
Tom Paris: He's already got one.
B'Elanna Torres: Now he's got two.
Tom Paris: [to the Doctor] Will you excuse us?
[Tom and B'Elanna go outside]
Neelix: Any bets on this one?
Chakotay: My money's on B'Elanna.

The Doctor: When you need to infiltrate a toxic environment, it helps to be a hologram.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Prey (#4.16)" (1998)
[the Doctor is doing a role play with Seven as an exercise for good manners]
The Doctor: I'll be the nurse, you'll be the doctor.
Seven of Nine: [sighs and reads] "Please hand me the hypospray."
The Doctor: "Of course, Doctor, immediately."
Seven of Nine: "Thank you. Looks at instrument..."
The Doctor: No no, don't read that part, only the dialogue.
Seven of Nine: "Excuse me, nurse, this is the wrong hypospray. Would you mind finding the correct one?"
The Doctor: "Not at all."
Seven of Nine: "Thank you. Did I mention you look lovely today?"
The Doctor: "Oh, Doctor, you're so charming!"
Seven of Nine: This lesson is terminated!

The Doctor: [not very self-assured] You should know, I'm a hologram, and can't be bent, spindled or mutilated, so don't bother trying.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Scientific Method (#4.7)" (1997)
The Doctor: [while giving Janeway a quite vigorous massage] You work absurdly long hours under constant stress, eating on the run, without sufficient exercise or rest. Your body is crying out for mercy.
Captain Janeway: [with a painful expression] It certainly is right now.

[Janeway is getting a massage from the Doctor when she is called to the bridge]
Captain Janeway: On my way!
[is about to leave her quarters, still covered with only a towel]
The Doctor: Captain!
Captain Janeway: I know what you're going to say, Doctor, but I can't neglect my responsibilities.
The Doctor: Actually, I was going to suggest a change of outfit.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Drive (#7.3)" (2000)
The Doctor: So, what program are you planning to run?
B'Elanna Torres: Something new, called 'Gedi Prime'.
The Doctor: I've heard of that. The vacation paradise that makes Risa look like a tourist trap.
B'Elanna Torres: Endless kilometers of crystalline beaches, mood reefs, bioluminescent waterfalls...
The Doctor: And a championship golf course, if I'm not mistaken. Why don't I just join you?
B'Elanna Torres: Somehow, I don't think that would add to the mood.
The Doctor: Don't be so sure. You haven't seen me in a bathing suit.

[B'Elanna has planned a romantic holiday with Tom]
The Doctor: I've already approved your time off.
Tom Paris: The Captain's told you about the race already?
The Doctor: What race? I was referring to your romantic getaway.
Tom Paris: [silence, then realizing] Oh, no!
The Doctor: Don't tell me you forgot.
Tom Paris: [heading for Engineering] Do me a favour, Doc. Keep a lock on my biosigns.
The Doctor: What for?
Tom Paris: Because in about five minutes, there may be a medical emergency in Engineering.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Thirty Days (#5.9)" (1998)
Tom Paris: You don't understand what it's like being down here all day every day. I'm going crazy!
The Doctor: Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the idea?

[the Doctor is treating Paris who has knocked his head on during abrupt flight maneuvers]
The Doctor: There we are.
Tom Paris: That's it? Aren't you gonna run a neurological scan? Maybe I should be granted a medical reprieve.
The Doctor: Your injury was what Naomi Wildman refers to as a 'boo-boo'.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Survival Instinct (#6.2)" (1999)
Seven of Nine: I will not return them to the Borg.
The Doctor: Are you thinking of what's best for them? Or for you?
Seven of Nine: Clarify.
The Doctor: You said it yourself - you made a mistake. And Seven of Nine doesn't like to make mistakes. She strives for perfection. I want you to think about the motivation behind your decision. Are you doing what's right for those three people? Or are you trying to alleviate the guilt you feel over what happened eight years ago?
Seven of Nine: The damage I did can never be repaired; and my guilt is irrelevant. I simply want them to experience individuality, as I have. As *you* have. At one time, you were confined to this sickbay. Your program was limited to emergency medical protocols. In some ways, you were not unlike a drone. But you were granted the opportunity to explore your individuality. You were allowed to expand your program. Your mobile emitter gives you freedom of movement. Your thoughts are your own. If you were told you had to become a drone again, I believe you would resist.
The Doctor: [whispers] Yes. I suppose I would.
Seven of Nine: They would resist as well. They would choose freedom, no matter how fleeting. Only you and I can truly understand that.
The Doctor: [agrees] Survival *is* insufficient.

The Doctor: It's never a good sign when the patient feels the need to comfort the doctor.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Spirit Folk (#6.17)" (2000)
[the Doctor - as Father Mulligan - is holding a lively sermon]
Grace: [to her husband] He's in love with the sound of his own voice.
The Doctor: [carrying on] Whether we are man or woman, parent or child, flesh and blood, or photons and force fields... It has been said...
Grace: On the other hand, perhaps he's been nipping at the sacramental wine.

Seamus Driscol: It says if you can get a spirit to reveal his true name, you'll render yourself impervious to his charms.
Milo: [to the Doctor, who has been hypnotized] What is your true name?
The Doctor: [in a trance] I haven't decided on one yet.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Repression (#7.4)" (2000)
[three crew members have mysteriously gone into a coma]
The Doctor: If this keeps up, I may have to open a special coma ward.

The Doctor: Well, you'd better find a way to protect the rest of the Maquis. I'm running out of beds.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Year of Hell: Part 2 (#4.9)" (1997)
Captain Kathryn Janeway: [after the Doctor has officially relieved her of command] How do you plan to implement this protocol, Doctor? Mr. Tuvok doesn't have a security team, both the brigs have been destroyed, and with the internal force fields offline, you'll have a hell of a time keeping me confined. You'd better grab a phaser; because before I give up command, you'll have to shoot me.
The Doctor: You realize this incident will be noted in my official logs. By refusing my orders, you risk a general court martial.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Compared to what I've been through the past few months, a court martial would be a small price to pay. If we make it back home, I'll be happy to face the music.

The Doctor: It's your body. Who am I to judge? I'm only the Chief Medical officer. What do I know?

"Star Trek: Voyager: Tsunkatse (#6.15)" (2000)
The Doctor: I was wondering if you'd care to join me on a tour of Norcadia's cultural hotspots. I hear their museums are among the finest in this sector.
Seven of Nine: I'm busy.
The Doctor: With what?
Seven of Nine: Commander Tuvok and I are leaving to study a collapsing micro-nebula.
The Doctor: During shore leave? I thought we discussed this.
[he takes her luggage off her and puts it down]
The Doctor: Shore leave is a perfect opportunity for you to spend time with other members of the crew to develop your social skills.
Seven of Nine: Then I suppose I'll have to develop them with Commander Tuvok.
The Doctor: Vulcans aren't exactly known for their winning personalities.
Seven of Nine: You'd prefer I spend my time with more sociable individuals, such as yourself?
The Doctor: You could do worse.
Seven of Nine: In that case...
[she picks up her luggage again and dumps it into the Doctor's arms]
Seven of Nine: ...perhaps you'd care to join us?
The Doctor: To study the micro-nebula?
Seven of Nine: You can assist us with our analysis of veridium oxide particulates.
The Doctor: On second thought, you and Tuvok have a good time.
[hands Seven back her luggage]
Seven of Nine: I'll give the Commander your regrets.
[moves on]
The Doctor: [shouts after her] Er, do that. And if the nebula isn't as riveting as you'd hoped, try to remember lesson 36: Pleasant Parlor Games to Pass the Time!
The Doctor: [under his breath] You'll need it.

[Seven and the Hirogen Hunter are being treated in sickbay after being rescued from Penk's ship]
Seven of Nine: Would you excuse us?
The Doctor: [with a wary glance at the Hirogen] Very well. But if you should need anything - an analgesic, a phaser rifle - don't hesitate to ask.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Scorpion: Part 2 (#4.1)" (1997)
The Doctor: Don't worry, I'll delete myself at the first sign of trouble. Well - maybe not the first sign...

The Doctor: Commander, we have some disturbing news.
Chakotay: At this point, I'm getting used to it.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Dreadnought (#2.17)" (1996)
[Ensign Wildman is considering different names for her unborn child]
Ensign Samantha Wildman: What do you think of Cameron?
Kes: Oh, I like it.
The Doctor: Cameron - from the ancient Celtic term for "one whose nose is bent".
Ensign Samantha Wildman: What about Frederick?
The Doctor: Frederick - very distinguished. However, it bears a close resemblance to a rather... impolite term on the Bolian homeworld.
Ensign Samantha Wildman: It doesn't have to be a Human name. I like Sural. It's Vulcan.
The Doctor: Yes. Unfortunately it was also the name of a dictator on Sakura Prime, famed for beheading his rivals - and his parents.

The Doctor: I took the liberty of beaming Lieutenant Torres from the transporter room to sickbay. She is somewhat singed around the edges, but should make a complete recovery.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Deadlock (#2.21)" (1996)
[the Doctor's counterpart has rescued Ensign Wildman's baby from the Vidiians]
The Doctor: I'm not surprised. I am programmed to be heroic when the need arises.

Kes: [all hell is breaking loose on Voyager, with the ship being hit by repeated proton bursts, most of the Engineering staff injured, and the newly-born Naomi Wildman in jeopardy] The baby's cell membranes won't stabilize!
The Doctor: Increase the osmotic...
[he pauses, and several seconds later another proton burst hits]
The Doctor: That's not helping.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Persistence of Vision (#2.8)" (1995)
The Doctor: [on human expressions] My programmers didn't clutter me up with pithy Earth trivia. They programmed me with far more important data.

The Doctor: I've checked Starfleet regulations. The chief medical officer outranks the captain in health matters. Now, I realize this may be the first time a hologram has given an order to a captain, but... I'm ordering you to report to the holodeck - now!
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Aye, sir.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Scorpion: Part 1 (#3.26)" (1997)
Captain Kathryn Janeway: [analyzing Species 8472's physiology] They have an extraordinary immune response. Anything that penetrates the cell membrane - chemical, biological, technological... it's all instantly destroyed! That's why the Borg can't assimilate them.
The Doctor: Resistance, in this case, is far from futile.

[Janeway has suggested to give the Borg information about Species 8472 in exchange for safe passage through Borg space]
Lieutenant Tuvok: What makes you think the Borg won't attempt to take the information by assimilating Voyager and its crew?
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Because that won't get them anywhere. Doctor, you're the only one on board with full knowledge of the nanoprobe modifications. I want you to transfer all of that research into your holomatrix.
The Doctor: Certainly.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: You're my guarantee. If the Borg threaten us in any way, we'll simply erase your program.

"Star Trek: Voyager: The Q and the Grey (#3.11)" (1996)
The Doctor: [after witnessing a supernova from the bridge] Just remember, Kes: anyone can stargaze on the bridge, even a hologram with a mobile emitter. But the real action will always be in sickbay.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Concerning Flight (#4.11)" (1997)
The Doctor: Well - what happened in the mess hall?
Seven of Nine: Lieutenant Torres and I were working on some astrometric data. There was a disagreement.
The Doctor: I understand things got a little... heated.
Seven of Nine: Lieutenant Torres became emotional. She chose to display hostility rather than to counter my argument.
The Doctor: What did she say exactly?
Seven of Nine: It is irrelevant. Suffice it to say, I was correct, she was not.
The Doctor: [impatient] Details, Seven! I want specifics!
Seven of Nine: I see no reason to discuss these trivialities.
The Doctor: Without my mobile emitter, I am a prisoner in here. I need to know what is going on beyond these walls, trivial or not!
Seven of Nine: [sighs] Torres referred to me as an automaton. She also employed a series of profane Klingon insults. Shall I translate them for you?
The Doctor: By all means!

"Star Trek: Voyager: Worst Case Scenario (#3.25)" (1997)
The Doctor: 20 ccs nitric acid - a little proverbial salt in the wound.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Dragon's Teeth (#6.7)" (1999)
Gedrin: You're Borg.
Seven of Nine: How do you know that?
Gedrin: Don't you recognize my people? The Vaadwaur?
Seven of Nine: The Collective's memory from 900 years ago is fragmentary.
Gedrin: I've had many encounters with your kind.
The Doctor: And lived to tell about them? Impressive.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Investigations (#2.20)" (1996)
The Doctor: I'm a doctor, not a performer.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Nemesis (#4.4)" (1997)
The Doctor: [to Chakotay] My guess is, the Vori used a combination of mind-control techniques, including photometric projections, heightened emotional stimuli, and highly sophisticated psychotropic manipulation. From the condition of your hypothalamus, I'd say they had you so mixed up they could have convinced you your own mother was a turnip.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Q2 (#7.19)" (2001)
[Icheb has been seriously injured during the encounter with the Chokuzan]
Q2: Look at what they did to him. If I go back, they'll do the same to me.
The Doctor: What do you care? By this time tomorrow, you'll be an amoeba.
Q2: Why, I'd rather be an amoeba than a corpse!

"Star Trek: Voyager: Good Shepherd (#6.20)" (2000)
The Doctor: The devil finds work for idle hands.
Seven of Nine: Religious metaphors are irrelevant.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Dark Frontier: Part 2 (#5.16)" (1999)
Captain Kathryn Janeway: [of the Hansens] I agree their methods were unorthodox, but... that's been true of most great explorers.
The Doctor: Most explorers don't take their four-year-old daughter along for the ride.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Faces (#1.13)" (1995)
Kes: [on Chakotay's Vidiian 'make up'] Remarkable work, Doctor.
The Doctor: Hm... If you think this is remarkable, you should see me remove a bunion.

"Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Doctor Bashir, I Presume? (#5.16)" (1997)
Dr. Lewis Zimmerman: Beginning data transferral.
EMH Mark I: Data transferral? Am I being replaced?
Dr. Lewis Zimmerman: You're being supplemented by a new long-term program.
EMH Mark I: [indicating the LMH] By him?
Dr. Lewis Zimmerman: There. Transfer's complete.
LMH: Please state the nature of the medical emergency.
EMH Mark I: Now, that's original. He doesn't even look old enough to be a doctor.
LMH: If you'd like my advice, you should delete this program. Now that I am here, why would you need an archaic piece of software like him?
EMH Mark I: [aghast] Archaic?

"Star Trek: Voyager: The Disease (#5.17)" (1999)
The Doctor: Sometimes I think everyone on this ship has been possessed by alien hormones.

"Star Trek: Voyager: False Profits (#3.5)" (1996)
The Doctor: [on the comm system] Sickbay to Lt Tuvok.
Lieutenant Tuvok: Go ahead, Doctor
The Doctor: Ensign Murphy was just found unconscious on Deck 2.
Kes: He has a severe concussion.
The Doctor: We suspect foul play.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Innocence (#2.22)" (1996)
Captain Kathryn Janeway: [introducing] This is First Prelate Alcia of Drayan II.
The Doctor: It's an honor to meet you. We don't often receive such distinguished guests here - unless there's been some sort of accident.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Collective (#6.16)" (2000)
The Doctor: Behold the David that slew our Goliath.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Alter Ego (#3.14)" (1997)
The Doctor: The life of a recreational hologram: dining, dancing, non-restrictive clothing...
[he is kissed by a Polynesian girl]
The Doctor: I see the allure.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Unforgettable (#4.22)" (1998)
The Doctor: I'd ask you to monitor her vital signs, but since they aren't registering, I suppose there's no point.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Workforce: Part 2 (#7.17)" (2001)
[the Doctor is trying to bring B'Elanna's memories back]
Neelix: I wish I could help.
The Doctor: Maybe you can. She'll require several treatments. In between, you could expose her to familiar sights and surroundings.
Neelix: Say no more. I'll take her on a whirlwind tour of her own life.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Emanations (#1.8)" (1995)
[the Doctor has identified the biopolymer resin as a byproduct of the decomposition process of the dead Vhnori]
Commander Chakotay: So the other biopolymer fibers we found in the cavern were...
The Doctor: ...were probably the result of other bodies that had decomposed and left a residual membrane. In essence, Commander, you were strolling through dead bodies.

Star Trek: First Contact (1996)
Holographic Doctor: Please state the nature of the medical emergency.
Dr. Beverly Crusher: Twenty Borg are about to break through that door. We need time to get out of here! Create a diversion!
Holographic Doctor: This isn't part of my program! I'm a doctor, not a doorstop.
Dr. Beverly Crusher: Well, do a dance! Tell a story! I don't care! Just give us a few seconds!
[the Borg break in as Crusher and her people escape through an airduct]
Holographic Doctor: Ahem, according to Starfleet medical research... Borg implants can cause severe skin irritations. Perhaps you'd like an analgesic cream?

"Star Trek: Voyager: 11:59 (#5.23)" (1999)
The Doctor: I, too, come from a distinguished line.
Tom Paris: His cousin's an electric shaver.
[all laugh]
The Doctor: Hardly. My program was compiled from the most advanced holomatrices in the Federation. My cousin was a prize-winning chess program.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Shattered (#7.11)" (2001)
[Chakotay wakes up on a biobed in sickbay]
Chakotay: What happened?
The Doctor: You were transported here. Your body was in a state of temporal flux.
Chakotay: Temporal flux?
The Doctor: You had the liver of an eighty-year-old man and the kidneys of a twelve-year-old boy. Fortunately, I was able to create a chroniton-infused serum that brought you back into temporal alignment. Anywhere else, that antidote would've earned me a prestigious award. Of course, on Voyager, it's just another day in the life of an underappreciated EMH.

"Star Trek: Voyager: One Small Step (#6.8)" (1999)
The Doctor: [about his first away mission] I left my footprints in the magnesite dust, and thought: "One small step for a hologram, one giant leap for mankind."
Seven of Nine: To coin a phrase.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Nightingale (#7.8)" (2000)
Icheb: Lieutenant Torres asked me to repair a malfunctioning holo-emitter.
The Doctor: It's about time. Whenever I move to the far corner of the surgical bay, my legs disappear.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Juggernaut (#5.21)" (1999)
Chakotay: Pelk said he was attacked.
The Doctor: Ah, yes, the Malon "Boogeyman".

"Star Trek: Voyager: Inside Man (#7.6)" (2000)
The Doctor: We can't afford to be cavalier, Reg. If these treatments don't work, the crew will wind up... liquefied.
Reg: You're forgetting that the inoculations aren't designed to work alone. They were intended to work in combination with the shield modifications. It's the medicinal ying to the shield's yang.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Cold Fire (#2.10)" (1995)
The Doctor: Vulcans make the worst patients.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Elogium (#2.4)" (1995)
The Doctor: Her unusual appetite may merely indicate a nutrient deficiency. It is not unusual for humanoids to crave foods that are rich in the very vitamins and minerals that their bodies are lacking.
Kes: You... you can't mean my body lacks dirt?

"Star Trek: Voyager: Ex Post Facto (#1.7)" (1995)
[the Doctor is considering several names to choose as his own]
Kes: Take your time. After all, you will *be* that name for the rest of your life.
The Doctor: Hm... I never even considered that I *had* a life.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Distant Origin (#3.23)" (1997)
The Doctor: That creature napping in sickbay... is a dinosaur!

"Star Trek: Voyager: Warlord (#3.10)" (1996)
[the Doctor has suggested to use a synaptic stimulator on Kes's body to remove Tieran's neural pattern from her]
Demmas: Yes, but how close would you have to get to use this device?
The Doctor: To be fully effective, it would have to come in direct contact with her skin.
Demmas: If I could get anywhere near her, I'd use a thoron rifle to be absolutely sure.

"Star Trek: Voyager: The Omega Directive (#4.21)" (1998)
Seven of Nine: Which of them is the senior researcher?
The Doctor: This gentleman. Why do you ask?
Seven of Nine: He has knowledge I require.
The Doctor: He also happens to be barely conscious. Come back in an hour.
Seven of Nine: Unacceptable.
The Doctor: Unavoidable. This is my sickbay. The man needs to recover.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Rise (#3.19)" (1997)
The Doctor: Vulcans are notoriously difficult to impress. Mr. Tuvok seldom acknowledges *my* brilliance.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Ashes to Ashes (#6.18)" (2000)
The Doctor: Hair is one of my specialties, despite evidence to the contrary.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Unity (#3.17)" (1997)
The Doctor: I must say, there's nothing like the vacuum of space for preserving a handsome corpse.
[referring to a Borg corpse found on the cube]

"Star Trek: Voyager: Hunters (#4.15)" (1998)
[Seven is trying to retrieve a garbled transmission from Starfleet Command]
The Doctor: Six words in 58 hours? Wouldn't it be more efficient just to wait until we arrive at the relay station?
Seven of Nine: This message is important to the Captain.
The Doctor: I'm aware of that. In fact, if it weren't for me, this transmission wouldn't have been possible in the first place. I was the one who risked my matrix in order to go to the Alpha Quadrant. If we ever get home... I expect I'll become quite the hero. "Emergency Medical Hologram, instrumental in the return of Voyager crew." Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?
Seven of Nine: On the other hand, it is entirely possible that your program will be deleted and you'll be upgraded to conform to the most recent standards.

"Star Trek: Voyager: The Killing Game: Part 1 (#4.18)" (1998)
[the Hirogen are using the Voyager crew for potentially fatal games on the holodecks]
The Doctor: I have had 28 wounded and one fatality in the past twelve hours. Even I can't keep up with that level of triage!
Alpha Hirogen: You will keep up or they will die. Their lives are in your hands, Doctor. Don't fail them.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Random Thoughts (#4.10)" (1997)
The Doctor: You can return to duty, Lieutenant, though perhaps with one or two fewer violent engrams in that fiery head of yours.
B'Elanna Torres: It's all right, Doc, there are plenty more where those came from.
The Doctor: Duly warned.

"Star Trek: Voyager: The 37's (#2.1)" (1995)
Fred Noonan: [Noonan has been wounded, and the alcohol in his bloodstream is inhibiting the Doctor's attempts to heal him] There's just one thing I want to say to you first, even though it's four hundred years late. Amelia, I love you.
Amelia Earhart: Fred, you never said anything...
Fred Noonan: You're married, or you were. I guess he's dead now. I just wanted you to know before... before I met my maker.
The Doctor: There! That should do it.
Fred Noonan: Do what?
The Doctor: You're healed.
Fred Noonan: [Noonan looks, and his wound is gone] You mean I'm not gonna die?
The Doctor: Aside from a hangover, you're going to be fine.
Fred Noonan: [panicked] Oh, Amelia... you, uh, you gotta forget what I just told you! Promise me!
Amelia Earhart: [grinning] Fred, I already have.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Year of Hell: Part 1 (#4.8)" (1997)
The Doctor: [holding a speech at the inauguration of the Astrometrics lab] Who would have thought that this eclectic group of voyagers could actually become a family? Starfleet, Maquis, Klingon, Talaxian, hologram, Borg, even Mr. Paris.

"Star Trek: Voyager: Learning Curve (#1.15)" (1995)
[the Doctor is scanning a malfunctioning gel pack]
The Doctor: A-ha!
B'Elanna Torres: What?
The Doctor: The patient is sick.
B'Elanna Torres: Can you be more specific?
The Doctor: To discuss the patient's condition in front of the patient would be a serious breach of professional etiquette. It's been suggested that I cultivate a greater sensitivity to my patients' needs.
The Doctor: [to the gel pack] Don't worry, my little friend...
B'Elanna Torres: Doctor.
The Doctor: Very well...