Reverend Jim Ignatowski
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Quotes for
Reverend Jim Ignatowski (Character)
from "Taxi" (1978)

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"Taxi: Reverend Jim: A Space Odyssey (#2.3)" (1979)
[Jim is taking his driver's test]
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: Psst. What does a yellow light mean?
Bobby Wheeler: Slow down.
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: OK. What... does... a... yellow... light... mean?
Bobby Wheeler: Slow down!
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: OK. Wwwwhhhaaaat dooeesss aaaa yyyeeeellllowwww lllliiiight mmmmeeeannn?
Bobby Wheeler: Slow down!
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: OK. Wwwwwwhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaat dddddddoooooooeeeeeesssssssss aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa yyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllloooooooowwwwwwwww liiiiiiiiiigggggghhhhhtt mmmmmeeeeeeaaaaaan?

Bobby Wheeler: [Bobby helps Jim fill out his test] Have you ever experienced loss of consciousness, hallucinations, dizzy spells, convulsive disorders, fainting, or periods of loss of memory?
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: Hasn't everyone?
Elaine O'Connor-Nardo: Put no.
Bobby Wheeler: Mental illness or narcotic addiction?
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: That's a tough choice.
Elaine O'Connor-Nardo: Put no!
Bobby Wheeler: OK, that's it! You ready for the test.
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: I thought that was the test!

[Jim is down at the DMV taking his driver's test]
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: Okay, here we go. Hey, uh, give me a little help on this one.
Tony Banta: You forgot your last name?
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: I've been busy.
Elaine O'Connor-Nardo: Well, what was your father's name?
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: Ignatowski.
Elaine O'Connor-Nardo: Well, maybe that's your name too.
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: You know, I think you're right!
Alex Reiger: Good.
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: Eyes?
Elaine O'Connor-Nardo: No, don't put two.
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: They mean color, don't they? What color are my eyes?
Bobby Wheeler: [staring into Jim's eyes] Elaine, do you want to take a stab at this one?
Elaine O'Connor-Nardo: Well, you can rule out white.
Alex Reiger: Call them brown.
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: Okey doke. Let's see... height! I don't know, about five-ten?
[Bobby, Alex and Elaine nod in agreement]
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: Weight. This is a very relative question, because if I were in space, I'd be weightless.
Tony Banta: You are in space.
Alex Reiger: Jim, they mean earth weight.
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: This is the most reading I've done in years. My brown eyes hurt!


"Taxi: Jim the Psychic (#4.1)" (1981)
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: I quit drugs for a dollar thirty-five? What was I thinking of?

Reverend Jim Ignatowski: I've got terrible news for you Alex you're going to die
Alex Reiger: We're all going to die Jim.
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: Well, yeah, yeah, but not on thursday we're not.

Reverend Jim Ignatowski: I have dreams that come true.
Elaine O'Connor-Nardo: So you're psychic?
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: Yeah, yeah, I'm psychic. I didn't tell you guys about it before, because I didn't want you to think I was offbeat or something.


"Taxi: Going Home (#3.5)" (1980)
Alex Rieger: Pardon my intrusion.
Jim: That's Ok I didn't even hear it.

Elaine O'Connor-Nardo: Jim, you changed your name TO Ignatowski?
Jim: Yeah, you know... it was the 60s and everyone was changing their names to stuff like Sunshine, Free, Moon Unit...
Alex Rieger: Well Jim, why Ignatowski?
Jim: Say it backwards.
Bobby Wheeler: Iskwotangi.
Jim: Uh oh, that's not even close to Starchild, is it?


"Taxi: Tony's Sister and Jim (#3.2)" (1980)
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: Well, isn't this great, we've all learned something. Tony can't choose who his sister's gonna fall for, Monica can't choose who she's gonna fall for, and I think that I've learned the greatest lesson of all. I love being lifted.


"Taxi: Alex the Gofer (#5.7)" (1982)
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: Something terrible has just happened.
Tony Banta: What?
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: I forgot why I am doing this.


"Taxi: Zen and the Art of Cab Driving (#3.13)" (1981)
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: I spent all my money on televisions? What am I, nuts?


"Taxi: Louie Moves Uptown (#5.13)" (1983)
Louie De Palma: Okay, who want's a really good cab today?
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: I do boss.
Louie De Palma: Good, I'm glad you do Iggy. You know the rules now.
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: Okie doke. How much do you want?
Louie De Palma: $48,000.
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: Okay, but if I'm gonna pay that kind of money I want a cab with a heater.


"Taxi: Jim Gets a Pet (#2.14)" (1979)
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: I take him out for walks in the park everyday.
Alex Reiger: I imagine you must get some funny looks uh.
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: Well those poodle people have stopped acting like they own the place.


"Taxi: Latka's Cookies (#3.8)" (1981)
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: Ooh, there are a *nice* little surprise inside.
Louie De Palma: What are you talking about?
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: Well, I could be wrong, but I detect something in here that's a lot more powerful than oatmeal.


"Taxi: Louie's Rival (#3.1)" (1980)
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: [having put a quarter in the cigarette machine instead of the jukebox] They haven't played my cigarette yet!


"Taxi: Scenskees from a Marriage: Part 2 (#5.5)" (1982)
Simka Dahblitz-Gravas: I have bad news for you my darling. I have been faithful to you.
Latka Gravas: Oh no!
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: Now this is where I get confused. If I can only get over this part I know I can help.