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Quotes for
Dean Learner (Character)
from "Man to Man with Dean Learner" (2006)

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"Garth Marenghi's Darkplace: Once Upon a Beginning (#1.1)" (2004)
Garth Marenghi: I don't believe that any living thing should be harmed in the making of a television program or film. Be it human, animal or plant. That's why I personally feel sorry for the cat we killed.
Dean Learner: I had a cat once. I dropped a sofa on it. It was a write-off, so I stood on its head.

Dean Learner: I got a script, read it, it scared me senseless, I looked at Garth straight in the eyes, never been afraid of holding a mans gaze, it's natural, I said; "This is going to be the most significant televisual event since Quantum Leap." I do not say that often.

Garth Marenghi: I have never exploded. But I know what it would be like. Don't ask me how. I just know. I've always just known.
Dean Learner: Now I don't know whether someone close to Garth had exploded - whether it was a colleague or a pet - but you could tell that scene meant a lot to him. There were tears on set. Not from Garth. He was strong for the crew. But I wept. I'm not ashamed of that.


"Garth Marenghi's Darkplace: The Creeping Moss from the Shores of Shuggoth (#1.6)" (2004)
Dr Liz Asher: [talking about a patient that has turned green] Apparently she was in for a routine operation to get her toe shortened which was really long like a finger, the next thing she knew this happened. All in all you could say that she's a little off color.
[Thorton, Liz, and Dagless all laugh]
Dr Lucien Sanchez: [shouts] You shut your mouth Liz!
Dr. Rick Dagless: No you shut your mouth Sanch, that was funny. Look, if we lose our sense of humor in this place we might as well all go and kill ourselves.
Dean Learner: Dag's right. After all, the reason I got into medicine in the first place was for the laughs. That and the pussy, and that dried up ten years ago if you pardon the expression.

Dean Learner: If he gets word of this my arse is grass and he's got a lawnmower if you know what I mean?

Dean Learner: Garth is the most significant artist that I've worked with and I've worked with Lulu and four other people, so were talking crème de la crème.


"Garth Marenghi's Darkplace: Hell Hath Fury (#1.2)" (2004)
Dean Learner: Not since Orson Welles had one man had so many fingers in so many pies, and been the chef as well. And then looked like he went and ate them all. The guy was out of control.


"Garth Marenghi's Darkplace: Skipper the Eyechild (#1.3)" (2004)
Dean Learner: I haven't acted since, some would say I didn't act during, but er, er, those would be unkind people. I did my best.
Todd Rivers: He couldn't actually interact with, you know, with another actor. I've never seen that before, and I've never seen that since. But I've just seen the tape, and it looks okay, though.