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: [after Alf gets his big toe caught in Jack's mousetrap and cries out in pain
] Hey, Irene! Quick! He's havin' a stroke or somethin'! Irene
: Oh My God! Quick, Damian! Ring an ambulance! Alf
: [Visibly in pain
] No... No stroke! Toe! Irene
: What? Alf
: [Tug comes closer and sees the Mousetrap
] Get it off me toe! Get it off! Tug
] Hey, he's got a mouse trap... Alf
: Oh, shut up you fool and get it off! Damian
: [hangs up the phone and turns to Jack
] This is the end, okay? You're on your own.
: A cheap lush! The blasted hide of 'im! Nathan
: It's alright, Mum. *We* know you're not cheap! Irene
: Nathan, that isn't funny!
: What is gramping? Chris
: Camping with oldies. Irene
: [to Roo
] See what I have to deal with?
: [after marrying Amanda
] A bottle of your finest bubbly, please! Alf Stewart
: Oh, got something to celebrate, do you? Graham Walters
: Yes, we do. Everybody, I'd like to introduce Mrs. Amanda Walters.
[Alf, Irene and Colleen stare in shock
] Graham Walters
: We just couldn't wait to share our love for each other. Alf Stewart
: Well... Let me be the first to congratulate you. Irene Roberts
: [nods slowly
] Yeah, that's... wow. Graham Walters
[Colleen simply stares, then downs the rest of her drink
] Colleen Smart
: Wait until Madge Wilkins hears about this!
: G'day, Alf come on in. Alf
: [gets a whiff of the Garlic in the air
] Hogan's Ghost! You're not gonna be attacked by Vampires for a while, are ya? Rob
: Irene's Magic Mixture; "Guaranteed Cure-All".
: I tell you what, Irene. If you've got any of that muck left, give us a hoy; I can sell it off as Paint stripper! Irene
] Ha, Ha. Everyone's a comedian but Mark my words; Rob'll be tuckin' into his Tempura in no time!
: [Selina receives a phone call from Saul
] Irene, It's him again. Irene Roberts
[Takes receiver from her
] Irene Roberts
: Now get this into your thick head, Sicko. We don't wanna see ya, We don't wanna hear from ya. If you come near Selina one more time, I will do you such physical damage, You're gonna have more chance of giving birth to a baby than *fatherin'* one!
] Irene Roberts
: That should sort him out.
: April, you're already not talking to each other.What is the worst that can happen? April
: She'll leave town and I'll never see her or the baby?
: [the speed boat stops
] What's the matter? Rob
: She's snuffed it! Irene
: Rob, if this some sort of stupid joke to make me nervous... Rob
: It's *no* joke Irene
: Well, what's the matter? Has it run out of petrol or somethin'? Rob
: No, it was a full tank! Irene
: What's the matter with it then? Rob
: I don't know! Irene
: Well, you better hurry up and *find out*, Mate. If we keep driftin' at this rate, we'll be spendin' Boxing Day in New Zealand!
: [Irene comes home, knowing of Nathan's theft
] That you, Mum? You get everything?
: Mum? Irene
: [walks into the living room
] Get up. Nathan
: What? Irene
] I said *Get up*! Nathan
: What's your problem?
[Irene grabs his magazine
: Hey, lay off me magazine! Irene
: I don't give a *stuff* about your magazine!
: Now get in your room and pack your bags! Nathan
: What? Irene
: You heard! I want you out, Pronto! Nathan
: What's going on? Irene
: What's goin' on?; Your leavin' town, you're movin' out!
[pokes him in the chest
: [sniffs Irene's breath
] You been drinkin' or somethin'?
[Irene grabs his vest
: Don't you get smart with *me*! I have had it up to *here* with you and your pathetic games! Nathan
: I dunno what anybody's told you... Irene
: I don't why I didn't see it sooner! Lookin' at you lounging on the couch, stuffing your face with that sandwich! Do You know what you are? A Lazy, Devious, Good-for-nothing crook, that's what! Nathan
: Have you been listening to Damian? Has he been spreadin' stories about me? Irene
: Nothing I shouldn't have seen coming years ago! Nathan
: I'm gonna kill him! Irene
: [grabs Nathan again
] You won't touch a hair on his head! He's worthy twenty of you! *Fifty*! Now get out of my sight! Nathan
: Listen mum, I know what Damian's told you but it's not true. He's just trying to get back at me. Irene
: I'm ashamed of ya. That's all I am. Ya make me *sick*! The trust I put in you all these years. Nothing was too much trouble and *this* is how you repay me! And not just me; all of us. You don't give a *toss* about anyone except yourself!
[tosses him clothes
: Now start packin'! You've got ten minutes and I never ever wanna see your ugly mug again!
[Nathan slinks off to his room
: Option one:You keep pushing those feelings down until he leaves town. Marilyn
: Well, that sounds really sad. Irene
: Mmm.Safe but sad. Marilyn
: Or? Irene
: Or option two:You lay your cards on the table.You tell him how you really feel. Marilyn
: Oh, well, that sounds really scary!Uh, how about option three:I do nothing except help John stay in Summer Bay? Irene
: That sounds really gutless.
: Since when has Annie been so chummy with Nicole? Geoff
: Er, since Nicole turned up on the doorstep with a bag full of clothes.
: Not to mention his dad is still in hospital. John
: But you did mention it.
: [Another bidder puts in an offer for the Beach House
] Who's that? Luke
: Joe Banks the Butcher in Yabbie Creek. Irene
: Yeah, well I've just become a vegetarian!
: It's Leah. She's gone into labour. Irene Roberts
: What? Alf Stewart
: Hogan's Ghost!
: [after a fish she caught gets away
] You know what went swimmin' out to sea with a big hunk of prawn in its gob? Damian
: What? Irene
: That Microwave Oven I've always dreamed about... Ah, well never mind.
: You can't have a proper shower in two minutes. Tug
: It takes him an hour and a half to wash his hair! Irene
: Well he's gonna have to get himself a crew cut, isn't he?
: [after finding out Damian is the cheat and Don suspends him
] One Week... You deserve to be *flogged*! How *dare* you do something so *stupid*! Michael
: Irene, just hang on a second... Irene
: Since *when* have you needed to *cheat*? You've got more brains in your head than the rest of the school put together! Now you just go and *blow* it!
: No, you don't!
[Irene tries to grab him but he gets away
: Whatever you're thinking, unthink it. Chris
: When have you known me think anything?
: [Showing Irene, Pippa, Michael, Teresa and Don a tribal statute he brought back from Fiji
] You stick it on your front doorstep and it stops the evil spirits from comin' into your house. Irene
: Yeah, well I never open me door to those religious blokes in suits anyway.
: I'm not a mind reader. Irene
: No, you're not. You'd need a mind to be one of them.
: [Jack and Curtis have rigged Irene's costume with Christmas lights
] Boys, It's gettin' hot... It's gettin' hot! Get it off me! Jack
: Whoa, settle down Irene! Irene
: Get it off me! Jack
: Just slow down, Irene Curtis
: Just hold still! Irene
: *You* hold still! It's bleedin' hot!
[the boys frantically help Irene remove the costume, meanwhile Rob and Donna walk in and turn on the lights and find The Boys undressing Irene
: Have we come at a bad moment? Irene
: Oh, my god!
[runs embarassed into bathroom while Jack and Curtis laugh
: [On Chris
] If you find him one day with an axe in the back of his head, I did it.
: Don't you tell me how to heal! Irene
: What? Chris
: [Gesturing to the television
] I just heard that line.
: Chris Harrington needs some lovin' in his life and I'm gonna give it to him.
: Sounded wrong, didn't it?