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Quotes for
Gin Rummy (Character)
from "The Boondocks" (2005)

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"The Boondocks: Let's Nab Oprah (#1.11)" (2006)
[Ed III and Rummy rob a bank]
Ed Wuncler III: 22 minutes.
Gin Rummy: We suck! We fuckin' suck, man!
Ed Wuncler III: I don't think 22 minutes is so bad.
Gin Rummy: Not so bad? That's a whole episode of "Seinfeld"! It takes us a whole episode of Sein-fuckin'-feld to rob a bank!

Gin Rummy: Oh, snap! What if we kidnap Oprah?
Ed Wuncler III: And do what?
Gin Rummy: Control of Oprah is control over women.
Ed Wuncler III: Wait, I see where you're going. See, 'cause, like, control over women... is control over *bitches*!

Gin Rummy: Back in Iraq, we was in the Special Ops.
Riley: Y'all niggas should've been in the Special Olympics!

Gin Rummy: Whoa. Bushido Brown. Aw, damn, I was afraid of this.
Ed Wuncler III: Who's Bushido Brown?
Gin Rummy: A bona fide bad motherfucker, that's who. You remember when Oprah made those comments about the beef industry?
Riley: No.
Gin Rummy: Oh. Well, a few years back, Oprah said some shit on her show about beef. You know, Mad Cow Disease or some shit. Anyway, the beef industry didn't exactly find that shit amusing. They figured they'd send a crew of armed Texans to teach Oprah a lesson. Ex-Marines, ex-Texas Rangers, rouges, that kinda shit. But Oprah had hired Bushido Brown as her personal boydguard. Apparently, only one dude managed to actually lay a hand on Oprah's office door. They say... Bushido Brown kept that hand.
Ed Wuncler III: ...I think I just shit myself.

[Ed III is floundering in the middle of his swimming pool]
Ed Wuncler III: Hey! Why you leave me out here? One of you muthafuckas better come out here and get me, I know that! Or you *will* be living in a haunted house tonight!
Gin Rummy: Swim, bitch!

Riley: Who's tryin' to stop you? Nobody ever tries ro stop you.
Gin Rummy: Yes they do.
Riley: No they don't.
Gin Rummy: Hey, just because we don't know anyone tryin' to stop us, don't mean ain't nobody out there tryin' to stop us. The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence.
Riley: Seems to me like everyone just lets ya'll do whatever you want. Thats why ya'll always getaway.
Gin Rummy: We get away, because i'm a criminal master mind.
Riley: Whatever nigga.

Ed Wuncler III: [Throws down a game controler] This is some bullshit! The game cheatin'!
Riley: Nigga, the game ain't cheatin'.
Ed Wuncler III: Start the game over!
Riley: Why you always gotta cheat when you lose Ed?
Gin Rummy: Let'em have it. Not wise to upset a Wuncler.
Ed Wuncler III: [Pulls out gun and shoots the Playstation 2, then points the gun at Riley] Restart the game, now!

Gin Rummy: Oprah Winfrey taps directly into the emotions, beliefs, buying habits and summer reading patterns of billions of women all over the world! Oprah Winfrey has the power to lay waste an entire industry with a mere utterance! She's a completely invincible, unstoppable force of nature and with her under our control... nobody would be able to stop us!

Ed Wuncler III: It was all Rummy's fault.
Gin Rummy: Ed ran into the wrong store. I was following Ed.
Ed Wuncler III: How was I supposed to know which bookstore to go into? They look exactly the same, and they both got books.
Riley: And there was a giant crowd of people outside of one!
Ed Wuncler III: That don't mean Oprah was in there!
Riley: There was a large sign that said 'Welcome, Oprah'! Ya'll lucky Ed's grandfather owns the cops.
Butler: Just what are you trying to imply? Look, we escaped their capture because of planning, teamwork, and execution.
Butler: This officer wanted to see you, Mr. Wuncler.
Policeman: Excuse me, Mr. Wuncler. I just well, you dropped this today at the bookstore, during the unpleasant...
[hands Ed his wallet]
Policeman: Thank you, Mr. Wuncler. I'm so sorry to disturb you. I hope you're not upset with me.
Riley: ...Why don't we just get Oprah tomorrow?


"The Boondocks: A Date with the Health Inspector (#1.5)" (2005)
Gin Rummy: I always say the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence.
Riley: What?
Gin Rummy: Simply because you don't have evidence that something does exist does not mean you have evidence of something that doesn't exist.
Riley: What?
Gin Rummy: What country are you from?
Riley: What?
Gin Rummy: 'What' ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak English in 'What'?
Riley: What?
Gin Rummy: English, motherfucker! Do you speak it?
Riley: Yeah.
Gin Rummy: So you understand the words I'm saying to you!
Riley: Yeah.
Gin Rummy: Well, what I'm saying is that there are known knowns and that there are known unknowns. But there are also unknown unknowns; things we don't know that we don't know.
Riley: What?
Gin Rummy: Say what again! Say what again! I dare you! I double dare you, motherfucker! Say what one more time!

Gin Rummy: I'll be dead on his ass like "Spencer for fuckin' Hire". I'll hunt him down and feed him his testicles, *and* I'll do it in a jiffy. And I don't care if his momma there, his grandmomma, innocent bystanders, little kids, baby sitters, bill collectors, whatever. I'll leave his whole block filled with hot brass if I have to, and you know why? 'Cause *I JUST DON'T GIVE A FUCK!* You guys sure you don't want any breakfast? I have English muffins and peach jelly.

Riley: So y'all was in Iraq together?
Gin Rummy: Yeah, we was in Iraq.
Riley: What did you do?
Gin Rummy: We was lookin' for weapons of mass destruction.
Riley: Did you ever find 'em?
Gin Rummy: You know goddamn well we ain't find them! What are you? Some kind of political humorist? You Garry Trudeau up in this bitch?

Huey Freeman: Well, this is the apartment building where it all happened. Maybe someone saw something.
Ed Wuncler III: Oh, somebody saw somethin' all right.
Huey Freeman: Hey, slow down. We gotta be tactful.
Ed Wuncler III: Tactful? What that mean?
Gin Rummy: He talkin' about diplomacy.
[cocks gun]
Gin Rummy: I don't do diplomacy.

Gin Rummy: I ain't think that they'd actually shoot back at us.
Huey Freeman: Well of course they're shooting back at us! You're robbing their store!
Gin Rummy: You can't assume that people are going to shoot back at you. It was an unknown unknown.
Huey Freeman: Need I remind you that this has nothing to do with our original plan?
Gin Rummy: Damn it, Huey! Robbery etiquette says you can't criticize a robbery plan during the actual robbery. You have to wait till the robbery's over.

Gin Rummy: I want you to know that you are not going to die... in vain.
Officer Frank: I don't think I'm dyin'.
Gin Rummy: Oh. Well, I want you to know you wasn't mortally wounded in vain.
Officer Frank: Actually, I think I'm gonna make it.

Ed Wuncler III: Look! He got a weapon!
Gin Rummy: Whoa, wait a minute now. Put the gun down.
Store Owner: Gun? What gun? I'm not holding gun. Guys, it's me. Ed, your father helped me build this store.
Gin Rummy: I don't know you, motherfucker! Now, put down the weapon! Put it down!
Store Owner: There is no weapon! Look!
Gin Rummy: Drop the weapon!
Officer Frank: I... I don't see a weapon!
Huey Freeman: There is no weapon! They're robbin' the store!
Store Owner: I am not holding a weapon! I am not holding a weapon!
Gin Rummy: Officer, this motherfucker's got a gun pointed at you! Do you wanna die?
Officer Frank: What?
Gin Rummy: Do you want to die?
Officer Frank: I... I don't want to die!
Huey Freeman: He does not have a gun!
Gin Rummy: He does have a gun, officer, trust me! The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence!
Officer Frank: I don't see a gun!
Ed Wuncler III: Man, fuck this shit! Who's side are you on? Mine, or this motherfucker who's obviously of terrorist descent?
Officer Frank: Wait... I think I can see the gun now.
Gin Rummy: Good! Now we all see the weapon! Now you hand over that weapon on the count of three, or I swear to almighty God, I'll blow your fucking head off! One!
Store Owner: I can't give you a weapon I'm not holding! You're thinking of the Korean store, North of here!
Gin Rummy: Two!
Officer Frank: Is he... still holding it?
Huey Freeman: He is not holding a weapon!
Gin Rummy: Time's up!

Gin Rummy: Ain't nobody seen nothin'.
Huey Freeman: I know who did the killing! I've known for twenty minutes. Guy's name is Terrell Jackson; he's been bragging about it all day. Everybody knows. He lives five minutes away. I've got MapQuest directions right here.
Ed Wuncler III: How'd you find all this out?
Huey Freeman: We talked to people!
Riley: [holds up a drawing] I got a picture.
Gin Rummy: Where you get that?
Riley: I drew it from the description of the dude that they gave us while y'all was whuppin' niggas asses in the street. I almost had time to color it.