Inspector Richard Queen
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Quotes for
Inspector Richard Queen (Character)
from "Ellery Queen" (1975)

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"Ellery Queen: Too Many Suspects (#1.0)" (1975)
Ellery Queen: Come on, Dad, I'll drive you home.
Inspector Richard Queen: Son, you are my only child, and a comfort in my old age, but you are the worst driver in the world. If anybody gets behind that wheel, it'll be me!

[Inspector Queen tells his son Ellery about the dying clue left by fashion designer Monica Gray who was found shot to death in her apartment]
Inspector Richard Queen: Well, anyway, she crawled past the coffee table, over to the wall, where she pulled out that plug of the clock and that, uh, television gizmo. And then she died. Now that's my reconstruction.
Ellery Queen: And very good too, Dad. I agree with it.
Inspector Richard Queen: That's as far as I go, because I haven't the slightest idea of what the lady was trying to tell us!

Inspector Richard Queen: [referring to the television set that Ellery is examining] You ever seen one of those things before?
Ellery Queen: Huh? Yeah, a few.
Inspector Richard Queen: Damn nuisance. A friend of mine has one. People keep dropping in.
Ellery Queen: Oh, I wouldn't worry about it. It's just a passing fad.

[Ellery and his father, Inspector Queen, examine the television at the crime scene where murder victim Monica Gray was found]
Ellery Queen: Channel 4. What was on when she pulled out the plug?
Inspector Richard Queen: Yeah, we called the station. An experimental program, news and weather. We're getting a script.
Ellery Queen: News at that hour?
Inspector Richard Queen: Yeah, big mistake. Who wants to watch the problems of the world before he goes to bed?

[Ellery tries to decipher the dying clue left by Monica Gray when she pulled out the plugs of the clock and the television set]
Ellery Queen: Well, what was she trying to say, and why both plugs? Was she reaching for the clock cord and did she accidentally pull out the television cord, or was it the other way around? Is she saying something about electricity, about the failure of power? No. Or is she relating to the television set as a piece of furniture, a box, a console, screen? And what about that clock?
Ellery Queen: [snapping his fingers] Wait a minute!
Inspector Richard Queen: You got something?
Ellery Queen: Very clever, Dad, very shrewd.
Inspector Richard Queen: Who? Who?
Ellery Queen: [pointing to his father] You. You know I'm supposed to be home finishing a book. You know I got a deadline to meet, but you drag me up here and you dangle all this catnip in front of me.

Ellery Queen: That's it, I'm going home. You're not gonna suck me in this time.
Inspector Richard Queen: Son, you're doing me an injustice. Besides, I know you. Let's face it, you're hooked! You can't walk out of here!
Ellery Queen: Can't I? Night, Dad.
[Ellery walks out of the apartment, closing the door behind him]
Sgt. Velie: Aw, gee, that's too bad, Inspector, I thought you had him out of the water and into the boat!
[Inspector Queen gestures for Velie to wait, and points his thumb at the door, through which Ellery re-enters]
Ellery Queen: I was just thinking...
Inspector Richard Queen: [smiles, winking at Velie] Yes?

Ellery Queen: It's really very simple. I - I make it a point to be observant and to pay attention to details. Good night, Dad.
[Ellery turns to leave]
Inspector Richard Queen: Son?
Ellery Queen: [turns back] Hmm?
Inspector Richard Queen: You forgot your glasses.

Inspector Richard Queen: Almost as far-fetched as one of your books. A dying clue, which makes absolutely no sense, which means, of course, it's right up your alley.

"Ellery Queen: The Adventure of Caesar's Last Sleep (#1.20)" (1976)
Erwin Murphy: Inspector Queen, the commissioner assures me that you're beyond reproach. I'll accept his recommendation.
Inspector Richard Queen: I'll say thanks when I find out what I've been recommended for.

Inspector Richard Queen: Ellery, I've got it! I know who killed Ralph Caesar!
Ellery Queen: He does, too. That movie had a clue. Oh, you probably caught it about the same time Dad did. Now, the other important thing to remember is the real reason Ralph Caesar was going to testify in front of the grand jury. Have you got it? Who killed Caesar? Velie didn't do it. Was it Jim Millay? Erwin Murphy? Lee Marx? Ben Franks? Or was Bonner's dying statement a lie? Or was it somebody else? I'll give you a hint: Shakespeare was wrong. Nobody is above suspicion.

Inspector Richard Queen: I used to like this old office. Today it depresses me.

Ellery Queen: How did he look when you found him?
Inspector Richard Queen: Dead.

Inspector Richard Queen: [having identified the murderer] Velie!
Sgt. Thomas Velie: I'm on suspension, Inspector. Remember?
Inspector Richard Queen: [holding up Velie's badge] Not anymore.

"Ellery Queen: The Adventure of the Eccentric Engineer (#1.14)" (1976)
Claude Sitwell: [Inspector Queen has asked Sitwell to identify a card. Sitwell glances at it] Sorry: I can't help you.
Inspector Richard Queen: Sorry: I don't believe you.
Claude Sitwell: Inspector, I believe you're calling me a liar.
Inspector Richard Queen: Maybe just deliberately forgetful.

Ellery Queen: [discussing Emily Woods] I don't know why you don't like her.
Inspector Richard Queen: She reminds me of your Aunt Agatha: a cobra with an Ipana smile.

Emily Woods: We see so much of you, you're getting to be like one of the family!
Inspector Richard Queen: Yes, I was saying to Ellery only yesterday how much you remind me of his Aunt Agatha.

Inspector Richard Queen: Now don't tell me. You want all of the suspects gathered together.

"Ellery Queen: The Adventure of Miss Aggie's Farewell Performance (#1.6)" (1975)
Inspector Richard Queen: [on the phone after a popular actress has been murdered] I understand, Your Honor... Your wife, eh?... Well, I guess we all loved her in our own way, sir... Yes, sir, I'm on my way downtown this minute... Thank you, sir.
[hangs up]
Inspector Richard Queen: That was the Mayor. His wife is in mourning for Miss Aggie.

Inspector Richard Queen: As long as we're both going to take this personally, let's find out who did it.

"Ellery Queen: The Adventure of the Pharaoh's Curse (#1.10)" (1975)
Inspector Richard Queen: The thought of you dictating a book while driving a car boggles the imagination.

Inspector Richard Queen: Why does it always have to be murder?
Sgt. Thomas Velie: The Maestro's got that look, Inspector.
Inspector Richard Queen: Must be something he wrote.

"Ellery Queen: The Adventure of the Tyrant of Tin Pan Alley (#1.19)" (1976)
Ellery Queen: You can sleep while I drive.
Inspector Richard Queen: The way you drive, we can both sleep.

Ellery Queen: [writing a note for his father after a late night] Dear Dad: I wanted to get an early start, and decided to let you sleep. Love, Ellery.
[Ellery moves to leave the note under the skull - but there's a note already there]
Inspector Richard Queen: [voiceover] Dear Ellery: I wanted to get an early start, and decided to let you sleep. Love, Dad.

"Ellery Queen: The Adventure of the Lover's Leap (#1.2)" (1975)
Cathy Kendrick: My father is not the type of person to imagine things!
Inspector Richard Queen: Well, I am - and I'm beginning to imagine that you're being overly protective of your father.
Cathy Kendrick: [to Ellery] How do you put up with him?
Ellery Queen: Practice.

Inspector Richard Queen: A major breakthrough! The butler didn't do it!

"Ellery Queen: The Adventure of the Chinese Dog (#1.3)" (1975)
Inspector Richard Queen: I came to catch trout, not murderers. Enjoy yourself; I'm going fishing.

Henry Palmer: Well, how's it going, Inspector? You catch him?
Inspector Richard Queen: Not after you scared him away.
Henry Palmer: The killer?
Inspector Richard Queen: The fish.

"Ellery Queen: The Adventure of Colonel Nivin's Memoirs (#1.7)" (1975)
Inspector Richard Queen: All right, Velie: what have you got on a suspect I haven't even heard of?

Inspector Richard Queen: [Door bell rings] I'm coming, I'm coming... oh... ah.
Jenny O'Brien: Good morning Inspector!
Inspector Richard Queen: Morning.
Jenny O'Brien: Ah... is Ellery up?
Inspector Richard Queen: I think he's in the kitchen. I smell toast burning!
Jenny O'Brien: I hope I didn't wake you up.
Inspector Richard Queen: Oh no no, I had to get up. The door bell was ringing.

"Ellery Queen: The Adventure of the Sunday Punch (#1.13)" (1976)
Inspector Richard Queen: [leaving to investigate the death of a professional boxer, while Ellery, working on his latest book, is only half paying attention to him] You sure you won't come along, son?
Ellery Queen: Huh? Oh, no, thanks, Dad.
Inspector Richard Queen: Might be interesting from a research point of view. Prizefighter gets killed while training for championship bout?
Ellery Queen: Some other time.
Inspector Richard Queen: Well, if it ever happens again, I'll be sure to let you know.
Ellery Queen: Thanks, Dad.
Inspector Richard Queen: You know, when you're working on a book, you're great company. Of course, if I want conversation, I can always talk to the goldfish.
Ellery Queen: Oh, that's nice.
Inspector Richard Queen: On second thought, the goldfish might make more sense. Well, see you later. Don't overdo it.
Ellery Queen: [comes up for air] Dad, are you going somewhere?
Inspector Richard Queen: Whatever gave you that idea?

Inspector Richard Queen: I'm trying to keep the lid on a piece of information that could lead us straight to the killer! I'm not going to let any three-cent yellow rag peddler mess it up!

"Ellery Queen: The Adventure of Auld Lang Syne (#1.1)" (1975)
Inspector Richard Queen: [a murder has been committed at a New Year's Eve party] We got a murder on our hands.
Sgt. Thomas Velie: Murder?
Inspector Richard Queen: Yeah, in the alcove by the rest rooms. A man was knifed - bad stab wound in the throat. Security's got all the exits blocked; the killer can't get away.
Sgt. Thomas Velie: What do you want me to do?
Inspector Richard Queen: Four things.
Sgt. Thomas Velie: Right
Inspector Richard Queen: Get every available unit to this hotel. I don't care that it is New Year's Eve. We've got a lot of brass here, we've gotta catch this guy.
Sgt. Thomas Velie: Right
Inspector Richard Queen: Two: pick up a guy named Joseph Kemmelman, 346 West 77th Street. Bring him here immediately. I'll explain later.
Sgt. Thomas Velie: Right.
Inspector Richard Queen: And third: get Ellery down here. I don't care where he is, what he's doing, get him here!
Sgt. Thomas Velie: Check. Four?
Inspector Richard Queen: Take off that silly hat.

Lady Daisy Frawley: We ought to sue you for false arrest!
Inspector Richard Queen: No one is arrested.

"Ellery Queen: The Adventure of the Black Falcon (#1.12)" (1976)
Ellery Queen: Simon Brimmer thinks he can wrap up this case with a birth certificate.
Inspector Richard Queen: Please. Not while I'm eating.
Ellery Queen: Obviously Brimmer knows something we don't.
Inspector Richard Queen: You don't want me to enjoy myself, do you?
Ellery Queen: Something that hasn't turned up in the police investigation - unless you've got something you haven't told me.
Inspector Richard Queen: I've got something. Heartburn.

Maitre D': May I help you gentlemen?
Inspector Richard Queen: Yes, we'd like a table for two, please.
Maitre D': Do you have a reservation?
Inspector Richard Queen: No, we don't have a reservation,
[shows the maitre d' his badge]
Inspector Richard Queen: but we have this.

"Ellery Queen: The Adventure of the Blunt Instrument (#1.11)" (1975)
Ellery Queen: Dad, I've had your home remedies before, and I'd really rather have the cold.
Inspector Richard Queen: It's just tea! Look!
[he takes a sip]
Inspector Richard Queen: Needs more gin.

"Ellery Queen: The Adventure of the Mad Tea Party (#1.8)" (1975)
Lt. Carr: Seems like we're to dealing with some sort of lunatic!
Inspector Richard Queen: [looking at Ellery] Oh, I'm used to that.

"Ellery Queen: The Adventure of the Two-Faced Woman (#1.18)" (1976)
Inspector Richard Queen: Paperwork. Soon you'll need a judge's permission to question a suspect.

"Ellery Queen: The Adventure of the Comic Book Crusader (#1.4)" (1975)
Inspector Richard Queen: [as Ellery goes to answer the front doorbell] If that's Velie, tell him I'm not interested in any homicide cases at the moment! I'm reading Orphan Annie!

"Ellery Queen: The Adventure of the Disappearing Dagger (#1.22)" (1976)
Ellery Queen: Dad, why does the coffee always taste better in your office than at home?
Inspector Richard Queen: Because my secretary doesn't make coffee at home. You do.
Grace: [entering] Excuse me, Inspector, but...
Inspector Richard Queen: Oh, Grace, if you have a chance, Ellery would like to jot down your recipe for coffee.
Grace: [puzzled] Uh... it's only coffee and water.
Inspector Richard Queen: [to Ellery] Which one of these ingredients is it that you leave out at home?

"The Adventures of Ellery Queen: The White Orchid (#5.26)" (1956)
[last lines]
Ellery Queen: You gave me quite a scare. I didn't think you were going to make it.
Inspector Richard Queen: Me not make it? Have I ever let you down, son?
Ellery Queen: No, but I'm always about that first time. Besides, you don't look that good in black.

"Ellery Queen: The Adventure of the Wary Witness (#1.15)" (1976)
Frank Flannigan: I can't sit on this story much longer.
Inspector Richard Queen: You'll sit on it or you'll sit in jail!
Frank Flannigan: You can't do that!
Inspector Richard Queen: I can't, huh? Velie, take this gentleman down and book him for... hanging around!

"Ellery Queen: The Adventure of Veronica's Veils (#1.9)" (1975)
Simon Brimmer: This is not a police case! This is a private murder!
Inspector Richard Queen: "PRIVATE" murder?

"Ellery Queen: The Adventure of the Sinister Scenario (#1.17)" (1976)
Inspector Richard Queen: [Ellery and Inspector Queen are investigating a murder in Los Angeles] Somebody's trying to put the whammy on this production, and I have a definite suspect in mind. Sergeant Velie!
Sgt. Harris: Uh, my name is Harris, Inspector.
Inspector Richard Queen: I'm sorry; I forgot where I was.

"Ellery Queen: The Adventure of the 12th Floor Express (#1.5)" (1975)
Inspector Richard Queen: [Ellery has gone off to investigate a clue] Where's he going?
Security Guard: How would I know? He's with you!
Inspector Richard Queen: Well, I'm sorry I asked!

"Ellery Queen: The Adventure of the Judas Tree (#1.16)" (1976)
Inspector Richard Queen: [has walked into the kitchen to find that Ellery has taken apart the kitchen sink] Ellery?
Ellery Queen: Oh, good morning, Dad.
Inspector Richard Queen: Dare I ask what you're doing?
Ellery Queen: I'm fixing the sink. It's been dripping.
Inspector Richard Queen: It's been dripping for three years.
Ellery Queen: Really?
Inspector Richard Queen: I just thought it needed a washer.
Ellery Queen: You know, I tried that, but after I fixed it, it dripped worse than ever!
Inspector Richard Queen: Is that so? Well, imagine that. While you're remodeling in here, I'll have a cup of coffee.
[He goes to the coffee pot. It's empty]
Inspector Richard Queen: I think I'll *make* a cup of coffee.
[He brings the pot over to the kitchen sink and turns on the tap. Nothing comes out]
Inspector Richard Queen: On second thought, maybe I won't have any coffee.