Robert 'Granddad' Freeman
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Quotes for
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman (Character)
from "The Boondocks" (2005)

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"The Boondocks: The Garden Party (#1.1)" (2005)
Granddad: Nigga, if you ruin this party for me, I'll put my...
Huey: Ruin the party? They love me. These people aren't worried about us. They're not worried about anything. They're rich. No matter what happens, these people just keep applauding.
Uncle Ruckus: Attention please. Attention please. My name is Uncle Ruckus, no relation. I want to sing y'all a brand new song I just wrote called "Don't Trust Them New Niggers Over There". Sing along if you know the words.
[sings]
Uncle Ruckus: Don't trust them new niggers over there / Leaving they nigger essence in the air / Them happy, nappy head niggers / With they finger on the trigger / Don't trust them new niggers over there / Don't trust them big nostrils over yonder / They suck up so much air it'll make you wonder / Don't them new niggers / With they spidey little nigger figures / Don't trust them new niggers over there.
[falls off stage]
Rich Woman: I think the N-word is OK as long as they say it.
[crowd applauds]
Huey: See?

Huey Freeman: [at a party full of white people] Excuse me. Everyone, I have a brief announcement to make. Jesus was black, Ronald Reagan was the devil, and the government is lying about 9/11. Thank you for your time and good night.
[the white people riot]
Rich Woman: It can't be true!
[Granddad smacks Huey on the head; he was dreaming]
Huey Freeman: Ow!
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Mm-hmm. You were havin' that dream where you made the white people riot again, weren't you?
Huey Freeman: But I was tellin' the truth!
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: How many times have I told you you bet' not even dream of tellin' white folk the truth? You understand me? Shoot... makin' white people riot. You better learn how to lie like me. I'm gonna find me a white man and lie to him right now.

Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: [to Ed Wuncler] Well, come in, sir. Welcome to *your* house.

Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: I mean, I happen to think a man looks nice with good hair and a ponytail. But no, I'm not gay.

Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: [looking at the boys' BB gun] This damn thing looks real!
[the gun goes off and shoots Riley]
Riley Freeman: Owww! Son of a - ! Granddad shot me! Granddad tried to 'sassinate me!

Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: There's a new white man out here! He's refined. For example, did you know that the new white man loves gourmet cheese?
Huey Freeman: Wait, I'm sorry. Did you say "cheese"?
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Yup, cheese. You give the meanest white man a piece of cheese and he turn into Mr. Rogers.
Huey Freeman: Granddad, that doesn't make sense.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Don't you talk back to me, boy!
Huey Freeman: Granddad, you can't tame the white supremacist power structure with cheese!
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Oh, yes I can!
Huey Freeman: No, you can't!
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Yes, I can!
Huey Freeman: No, you can not!

Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Y'all need to start appreciating your Grandaddy! I went and spent your inheritance on this beautiful house in this neighborhood! And all I ask you to do is act like you got some class...
Riley Freeman: [whispers to Huey] Ay, what's "class"?
Huey Freeman: It means don't act like niggas.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: See! That's what I'm talking about right there! We don't use the N-word in this house!
Huey Freeman: Granddad, you said the word "nigga" 46 times yesterday. I counted.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Nigga, hush!

Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: [after drinking orange juice] Ahhh, a full day's supply of Vitamin C!

Ed Wuncler: The only joy I get from these parties is standing around telling mean-spirited jokes at other people's expense.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: I do that, too!
Ed Wuncler: [points out a guy] Check out that guy. Why is his face all twisted up like that? He looks like he jacks off with Icy Hot. He looks like he just shit a gerbil.
[they both laugh]

Huey: Granddad, I do not sip tea with the enemy. You could force me to go. But you can not force me to be someone I'm not.
Granddad: The hell I can't! You gonna go and you not gonna embarrass me in front of my new neighbors or I'm gonna beat yo' ass!
Riley: Why can't we be ourselves, huh? Why can't I be me? Are you ashamed of us?
Granddad: Very!

Civil Rights Protester: This nigga went to get a motherfuckin' raincoat!
Young Grandad: We all been watching the same news. The police been doing this fire hoses thing all week. I just assumed we'd all wear our raincoats.
Civil Rights Protester: I can't believe you!
Civil Rights Protester: Dammit, Robert, who the hell shows up to a march in a raincoat?
Young Grandad: Bet you wish you had your raincoat right now!
Civil Rights Protester: You son of a - !
[grabs him and pushes him against a wall]
Young Grandad: Remember what Dr. King says!


"The Boondocks: The Itis (#1.10)" (2006)
Huey: [after Riley has passed out from eating Granddad's "Luther Burger"] Do CPR!
Granddad: [shouts] Riley, wake up!
Huey: Yeah, I'm not sure yelling at him is going to help, Granddad. How do you not know CPR?
Granddad: I tried to learn CPR, but they wouldn't let me... because I was Black.
Huey: What?
Granddad: Oh, sure, nowadays y'all can just run around and learn CPR whenever y'all want to. Just go around savin' lives, resuscitatin' each other willy-nilly. But when I was a young man, it used to be against the law to teach colored folks CPR, OK!
Huey: Man, that's not true!

Riley Freeman: Ewww, Mrs. Dubois, your peach cobbler look like throw-up.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Boy!
Riley Freeman: It do! Look! It look like throw up with peas in it. Mrs. Dubois you been eatin' peas?
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Boy, come here what wrong with you?
Riley Freeman: What's wrong with *me*? What's wrong with *her*? She the one that brought vomit over here in a tupperware container.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: That is not vomit. It just looks like vomit. Now apologize to Mrs. Dubois.
Riley Freeman: Fine. Mrs. Dubois I'm sorry your peach cobbler looks like vomit with peas.

Tom Dubois: Hey, do I smell pork flavored broccoli?
Sarah Dubois: Hey everyone!
[singy-song]
Sarah Dubois: I brought peach cobbler!
Riley Freeman: Ewww! Mrs. Dubois your peach cobbler look like throw up!
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: BOY!
Riley Freeman: It do, look! It look like throw-up with peas in it! Mrs. Dubois you've been eating peas?
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: [grabs Riley by the arm] Boy come here! What is wrong with you!
Riley Freeman: What's wrong with me? What's wrong with her? She is the one who brought vomit in the container
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: That is not vomit! It just looks like vomit! Now apologize to Mrs. Dubois
Sarah Dubois: [offended] Uh, it's ok! Really!
Riley Freeman: Fine, Mrs. Dubois I'm sorry your peach cobbler looks like vomit with peas!
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: DAMN IT BOY!
Sarah Dubois: Guys please, I mean you don't have to!
Riley Freeman: I don't care if you beat me Granddad I won't eat it! That is DISGUSTING!
[Sarah looks offended]
Riley Freeman: It's completely uncalled for
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: You will eat it, if I have to hold you down and shove it down your throat!
Sarah Dubois: Really I didn't mean for it to be.
Riley Freeman: I know what your trying to do! You're trying to kill me! I HATE YOU!
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: [chases Riley and proceeds to beat him offscreen while the Dubois and Huey look] You are gonna get it!
Riley Freeman: I don't wanna eat the cobbler! I DON'T WANNA EAT THE COBBLER!

Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: I present to you The Luther. A full pound of burger patty covered in cheese, grilled onions, five strips of bacon, all sandwiched between...
Riley: Two donuts!
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Two *Krispy Kreme* donuts.

Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Do you know how long I wanted to own my own restaurant?
Huey Freeman: Three weeks. At Sunday dinner, that was the first time you mentioned it. And you only started doin' the stupid Sunday dinner thing because you saw Soul Food on cable.
[Bell sounds]
Huey Freeman: We're gonna pause this for the benefit of all ya'll that never saw Soul Food. Soul Food is a movie about a big, humongous, black grandmother, aptly named Big Mama. Big Mama demonstrates her love by feeding herself and her offspring enormous amounts of pig lard. Then - get this - Big Mama's arteries are so clogged, they gotta amputate her arm.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: It was her leg!
Huey Freeman: Right, OK, whatever, leg. Then, she dies from a heart attack or another stroke or somethin'. And what does the family do after she dies? They get together for a Sunday dinner and eat the same food that just killed Big Mama. The *same* food. They didn't learn a lesson, nobody went on a diet, and that's the end of the movie.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Sunday dinners was my idea! They got that from me.


"The Boondocks: Guess Hoe's Coming to Dinner (#1.3)" (2005)
Cristal: [after watching Granddad give his belt to a woman so she could beat her unruly child] Not many men would stop to help a woman in need.
Granddad: Well, uh, heh, heh, I guess I just hate to see a child go unbeaten.

Granddad: Hold on there, Slickback.
A Pimp Named Slickback: No, it's A Pimp Named Slickback.
Granddad: That's what I said. Slickback.
A Pimp Named Slickback: No, it's "A Pimp Named Slickback." Like A Tribe Called Quest; you say the whole thing: "A Pimp Named Slickback"!
Granddad: Can't I just call you "Slickback" for short?
A Pimp Named Slickback: No, nigga! It's "A Pimp Named Slickback!"
Granddad: Cristal, who is this person?
A Pimp Named Slickback: Nigga, are you deaf? I'm A Pimp Named Slickback! Say it with me now!

Granddad: You ain't gon' hit no woman in my house.
A Pimp Named Slickback: What woman, sir? This here's a ho.

Huey: Granddad, have you asked yourself why a 20-year-old girl would wanna go out with a man your age?
Granddad: Because I laid my game down quite flat.
Riley: Game? What you know about the game, Granddad?
Granddad: I know the game.
Riley: Takin' women out to eat, givin' 'em free meals? What part of the game is that? You takin' her to Red Lobster with the cheddar biscuits. The fam ain't eatin' cheddar biscuits but this random broad is eatin' cheddar biscuits.
Riley: I know the game. Your granddaddy knows the game.
Riley: Game recognize game, Granddad.
Granddad: I recognize game! Your granddaddy recognize game!
Riley: Game recognize game and you lookin' kinda unfamiliar right now. I - I can't... Where's Granddad? Can I help you, sir?


"The Boondocks: The Story of Gangstalicious (#1.6)" (2005)
Riley: Gangstalicious got shot.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Again?
Riley: We got to do somethin'!
Huey: I got an idea - why don't we go to college so we don't end up like Gangstalicious?

Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Boy, are you stupid?
Riley: Mmm, I don't *think* so.

Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: I don't see what the big deal is with this... what is it "Bubblelicious"
Huey: It's Gangstalicious. Dumb niggas love Gangstalicious the way fat women love Oprah.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: And just WHAT is thuggin' love? Is that when you make love to a woman... and just before that special moment you beat her in the head, snatch her purse, and throw her down the stairs?


"The Boondocks: Let's Nab Oprah (#1.11)" (2006)
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Boys! What the hell?
Riley: I ain't doing nothing, granddad. I was just gon go to Ed's house and Huey said I couldn't go 'cause he a hater.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: What the hell is wrong with you Huey? If your brother wants to play with Ed and Rummy, that's his business.
Huey Freeman: Granddad! Ed and Rummy are international criminals!
Riley: There he go hatin' again!
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Boy! Stop hatin'!
Huey Freeman: What about the time when Riley and Ed were playing with a loaded shot gun and Riley shot Ed out of a second story window?
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: That did happen, didn't it.
Riley: Okay, so just 'cause Ed believes in the second amendment right to bare arms, we can't be friends? What you got against the Bill of Rights, Huey?
Huey Freeman: Okay, how about the time they stopped for gas and ended up robbing the Mini-Mart?
Riley: They was fighting terrorism! Make the world safe for the freedoms we enjoy today. That's messed up. You don't support the troops, Huey.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: That is kinda messed up, Huey... be back by dinner.

Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: [Huey and Riley are fighting until Granddad intervenes] Boys! What the hell?
Riley: I ain't doing nothing Granddad, I was just gonna go to Ed's house, and Huey, said I couldn't go cause he a hater
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: What the hell is wrong with you Huey? If your brother wants to play with Ed and Rummy that's his business.
Huey Freeman: Granddad! Ed and Rummy are international criminals!
Riley: There he goes hatin' again!
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Boy! Stop hatin!
Huey Freeman: What about the time when Ed and Riley were playing with a loaded shotgun and Riley shot Ed out of a second story window.
[flashback to Riley who shoots Ed and falls from the building, he wore a body armor]
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Oh, that did happen, didn't it?
Riley: Ok, so just cause Ed believes in second amendment right to bear arms, we can't be friends? What you got against the bill of rights Huey?
Huey Freeman: Ok, how about the time he stopped for gas, and ended up robbing the mini-mart
[flashback to Ed and Rummy's raid at the mini mart]
Riley: They was fightin' terrorism, making the world safe for the freedom we enjoy today. That's messed up, you don't support the troops Huey!
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: That is kind of messed up Huey.
[to Riley]
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Be back by dinner.


"The Boondocks: The Story of Catcher Freeman (#2.12)" (2008)
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: It was love at first sight. He was tall, he was handsome, his trapezius muscles rippled through his shirt.
Riley Freeman: Alright, Granddad, damn, you're making me uncomfortable.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Catcher Freeman was a sexy man!

Huey Freeman: [checking the internet to find the truth about Catcher Freeman] Excuse me, everyone. I think we can resolve this quickly. Catcher Tobias Lynchwater, better known as Catcher Freeman, was a house slave on Colonel Lynchwater's plantation. He was also Colonel Lynchwater's son, although the Colonel never claimed him.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Wait, what? Master's son? Uh uh. No, no, no, that can't be!
Huey Freeman: He is believed to have written the first screenplay in secret, several years before the invention of the motion picture industry.
Uncle Ruckus: What website is that? MadeUpMonkeyShit.com?


"The Boondocks: The Real (#1.8)" (2006)
Riley: All I'm saying is when Xzibit brings that car back you gonna be "Bitches".
Granddad: What did you call me?
Riley: No, no, I mean "Bitches" like you gonna have so many bitches that's what niggas is gonna call you. No disrespect.
Huey: No disrespect? You just called your grandfather "Bitches"!
Riley: Yeah, but I don't mean bitches in a disrespectful way. I mean it as a general word for women.
Huey: And you're gonna let him get away with that?
Granddad: It's OK. Just this once.
Riley: Granddad, I'm just sayin' you might have to change your middle name from Jebediah to Bitches. Is all I'm tryin' to say. No disrespect.
Granddad: Hmm, Granddad "Bitches" Freeman. Hoo! Gotta nice ring to it.

Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: So you're saying that the car stops, but the rims keep spinning? That's amazing!


"The Boondocks: Granddad's Fight (#1.4)" (2005)
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: I won't fail you - I'm not afraid!
Huey: Oh, you will be. You will be.

Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Awww, look what you did to 'Dorothy'. You better have insurance.
Colonel H. Stinkmeaner: Nigga, you better have insurance! Ass-whoopin' insurance! And you about to pay a deductible!


"The Boondocks: Attack of the Killer Kung-Fu Wolf Bitch (#2.6)" (2007)
Luna: Any noise, and I will butt-rape your grandfather with this broomstick!
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Boys! Don't make any noise!

Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: [watching his blind date messily eat] Do you know what? I've had it. This sucks!
Ugly Woman: What's wrong with you?
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: You know what's wrong with me! When was this picture taken, 1964?
[Indicating the picture she gave him of a younger more attractive woman]
Ugly Woman: You saying I don't look like my picture?
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: I'm saying you probably never looked like this damn picture, this ain't you!
Ugly Woman: So is all that you care about is looks?
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: YES!
Ugly Woman: Well excuse me for thinking you liked me for who I was on the inside!
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Well, you're a liar on the inside, this whole relationship is based on a lie, an UGLY lie! Why the hell does this keep happening to me? God what did I do to deserve this? This is payback for what? What did I do to you? Tell me.
Ugly Woman: Nigga, you ain't no Denzel, hell you ain't even no Flava Flav!
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Time after time after time. There ought to be a law, lock em up, charge em with fraud, I'd be snitchin' on ugly women all day, I should give em the chair, electrify their ugly asses, dry pool that switch quick!


"The Boondocks: The Passion of Ruckus (#1.15)" (2006)
Uncle Ruckus: God bless you, Robert. How are you this fine morning?
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: You're not a Jehavoh's Witness now, are you? 'Cause I'm in the Jehovah's Witness Protection Program.
Uncle Ruckus: Hahahahaha. Robert, I'm dying. That's right. Went to the doctor this morning. I only got six months to live. Tumor on the back. They call it Biggus Backus Tumoritis or some other big word that my tiny Negro brain and big lips can't pronounce.

Uncle Ruckus: People say to me 'Ruckus'. I say 'Huh, who said that?' They say 'How do I make it to White Heaven?' Well, start by askin' yourself 'How is my relationship with the white man?' Do you celebrate the white man's goodness every day? Do you stop and thank the white man for the food you eat and the clothes you wear? Huh? Well, if you don't, you goin' to Hell. Now, I want everybody who isn't white to turn to a white person and say 'Thank you'.
Tom Dubois: [Tom puts his hand on a white man's shoulder] Thank you. Thank you so much.
Uncle Ruckus: Well, there are those of you who say I'm a racist. There are those of you who say I'm wrong for hatin' niggas. Well, I call y'all ALL hypocrites! 'Cause each and every one of you can name ten niggas you hate right now if you had to!
Tom Dubois: I never thought about it like that. There's Tyrone... Leon... Oh! Eddie!
Uncle Ruckus: You don't have to admit it. That's OK. 'Cause I know you done already counted off five niggas in yo' head! You're like 'I hate that nigga Jamal! Oh, I hate Otis! I can't stand Usher!'
Tom Dubois: Oh my God, he's right! I hate Usher, too!
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: What?
Tom Dubois: He's right. I think I hate black people!
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: [whispering] Tom, stop being stupid!
Tom Dubois: No, I think I hate 'em all. I don't like Puffy! I don't like Kobe! I don't like...
[stands up]
Tom Dubois: I don't like any of 'em!
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Tom, snap out of it! Come on, we're leaving.
[stands up]
Uncle Ruckus: That's right! Somebody out there is feelin' the spirit!
Tom Dubois: I am! I am! I feel it!
Uncle Ruckus: If you black of skin and full of sin, come forward so I may lay my hands on you.
[slaps a black man]
Uncle Ruckus: Black be gone!
[slaps black woman]
Uncle Ruckus: Praise White Jesus!
[slaps another black man]
Uncle Ruckus: Now, I want everybody to find the nearest black man and lay hands on him. But first, make sure your hand is balled up in a fist so you can beat the black outta his soul. God smiles when you hate blackness so you beat that darkie in the name of the Almighty! Hallelujah!
[the whole congregation starts beating each other. Granddad pulls Tom away from the melee]
Uncle Ruckus: That's right! Ronald Regan said 'Beat a nigga's ass and go to Heaven.' God is good! Now, let us pray. Lord, I have spent my whole life hatin' you for makin' me black. And now I see I must hate myself and all those like me. And cause them misery just like your servant, Ronald Reagan did. And if any of my words don't come directly from the Almighty God himself, then may I be struck by lightning right this very instant! Halle-
[Ruckus is struck by lightning]
Uncle Ruckus: AAAAHHHHHHH!


"The Boondocks: Tom, Sarah and Usher (#2.2)" (2007)
Riley Freeman: [laughs at Tom] Usher? That dick is *my* age!
Tom Dubois: So, you guys don't think I'm overreacting?
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: I don't think so. You a big-time lawyer, and Sarah's acting all crazy over an usher?
Huey Freeman: Not *an* usher. Usher, he's a singer.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Ushers ain't supposed to sing. You can't hear the movie!


"The Boondocks: Return of the King (#1.9)" (2006)
[the Freemans have Martin Luther King over for dinner]
Tom Dubois: Dr King, I just wanted to say that even though you've been catching a lot of flak recently, we're very honored to meet you. Really.
Riley: Get off his dick.
[Huey kicks him]
Riley: Ow! Man, I'm just sayin'. Mr. Dubois riding Dr. King like a rodeo show.
[Huey kicks him again]
Riley: Ow!
Granddad: Stop it.
Riley: [to Dr. King] You don't look famous. What are you an actor? Is you Morgan Freeman?
[Huey punches him]
Riley: Ow!
Granddad: Boy, stop acting crazy. You know that's Martin Luther King. Now go clear the dishes.
Riley: Why can't this Morgan Freeman King dude clear the dishes? Shoot, the nigga just had a free meal.


"The Boondocks: Riley Wuz Here (#1.12)" (2006)
Huey Freeman: Is the cop here for me or him?
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Your brother was caught doing grafitti on... wait. Why would he be here for you?
Huey Freeman: Uh, no reason.


"The Boondocks: Wingmen (#1.13)" (2006)
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Huey, say something deep.
Huey Freeman: Huh?
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: I ain't got all day, boy. Be deep.
Huey Freeman: [sighs] "Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore, trust the physician and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility." - Khalil Gibran
Dewey: Didn't rhyme.


"The Boondocks: The Fried Chicken Flu (#3.13)" (2010)
President Barack Obama: My fellow Americans, uh, good afternoon. I'd like to start off by thanking all of you out there, uh, who have called and written letters about the safety of the First Family. You'll be happy to know that Michelle, Sasha, Malia, myself and Bo are all fine.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Don't nobody care about *you*, man! Tell us everything gonna be okay for *us*!
President Barack Obama: Everything is going to be okay... *for us*. We are currently in our very own super-secret underground bunker with enough food and water and entertainment to last several lifetimes. But I'm here tonight to talk about *you*. In times of crisis, Americans pull together. And what's going to get us through this difficult time? Sharing.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: *Sharing?*
President Barack Obama: Lending a helping hand to a neighbor in their hour of need.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: No, fuck a neighbor! What we need is a *cure*!
President Barack Obama: Unfortunately, there is no cure for the pandemic we now face. But we do have an even more powerful weapon - compassion for our fellow man.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: No! Fuck compassion for our fellow man!
President Barack Obama: In conclusion, I want to say that we are all in for some tough times ahead, and when I say "we," I mean "you." But Michelle, Sasha, Malia, myself and Bo are going to be right here, rooting for you all the way. Goodnight, and God bless you, and may God bless the United States of America.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: ...We all gonna die!


"The Boondocks: ...Or Die Trying (#2.1)" (2007)
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: [to Riley] Make sure you pee before we leave. I ain't going to miss my movie going to the bathroom with you. I'mma let you go in there by yourself and get molested by a nasty white man.
[to Huey]
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: What's wrong with you?
Huey Freeman: I don't wanna go to the movies.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Why not?
Huey Freeman: I don't ever wanna go to the movies with you again. Not after what happened last time.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: What happened last time?
Huey Freeman: We got arrested... and shot at.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Haa racism.
Jazmine Dubois: Daddy said I can go the movies, but he said I'm not allowed to see soul plane.
Huey Freeman: Good, you don't wanna go to the movies with him. He's crazy.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Hush! You can't see soul plane? Why, lil baby?
Jazmine Dubois: Because of the types of stereos or something.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Types of stereos? Oh, no no no, lil baby doll. This is a good theater. They have THX.
[hums]
Huey Freeman: She means stereotypes.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Stereotypes? In soul plane? That's nonsense. Say how about we tell your daddy we saw something else. Hm?
Jazmine Dubois: [gasps] You mean, lie?
Huey Freeman: That really doesn't seem to be a good idea.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Hush boy. You know, it's okay to break the rules every once and a while. I won't tell if you won't.
Jazmine Dubois: Okay.
[laughs]
Huey Freeman: [narrating] Sometimes I think Granddad may be a bad influence.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Hey Riley, don't forget the camcorder.
[outside]
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Now the first soul plane was funny.
Huey Freeman: About as funny as a lynching.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Hush boy, you ain't even see it.
Huey Freeman: I never seen a lynching either, but I know they're not funny.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: See! Shows what you know. I've seen funny lynchings.


"The Boondocks: Stinkmeaner 3: The Hateocracy (#3.5)" (2010)
Huey Freeman: You killed a man in defense of your ego.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Tough titty for him! He's dead and I'm goin' fishin'!


"The Boondocks: The Trial of Robert Kelly (#1.2)" (2005)
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Didn't Jerry Lee Lewis marry a thirteen-year-old baby?
Uncle Ruckus: You can't compare a chocolate monkey like R. Kelly to Jerry Lee Lewis! He was the king of rock n' roll. Great balls of fire!


"The Boondocks: Thank You for Not Snitching (#2.3)" (2007)
Riley Freeman: I don't snitch! I can't talk to the Po-po.
Huey Freeman: You can tell Granddad, he's not the police.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Yeah boy. You can tell me.
Riley Freeman: Do you promise not to tell nobody?
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Of course I promise. I swear on your life.
Riley Freeman: [pause] You lyin'! That's messed-up, Granddad!
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: [grabs Riley by the shoulders] Boy, you tell me who stole my car!


"The Boondocks: A Huey Freeman Christmas (#1.7)" (2005)
Huey: I just told you the whole history of Christmas.
Granddad: But it was boooorrrrinnggg, Huey. You're just blah, blah, gay sex, blah, blah, Congress!