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: God-damned see-thru coffee! Mom
: He was very sickly until he started riding around on that bicycle. Dad
: Yeah... well... now his body's fine, but his mind is gone.
: He's never tired. He's never miserable. Mom
: He's young. Dad
: When I was young I was tired and miserable.
: What's the matter? Dad
: He's shavin'. Mom
: Well... so what? Dad
: ...his legs.
: What are we gonna do about him? Mom
: I don't know dear. We could always strangle him while he's asleep.
: What is this? Mom
: It's sauteed zucchini. Dad
: It's I-ty food. I don't want no I-ty food. Mom
: It's not. I got it at the A&P. It's like... squash. Dad
: I know I-ty food when I hear it! It's all them "eenie" foods... zucchini... and linguine... and fettuccine. I want some American food, dammit! I want French Fries! Mom
: [to the cat
] Oh, get off the table, Fellini! Dad
: Hey, that's *my* cat! His name's Jake, not Fellini! I won't have any "eenie" in this house!
[to the cat
: Your name's Jake, you understand?
[Dave crosses himself on learning of Team Cinzano's imminent arrival
: Oh, Dave, try not to become Catholic on us.
: Well, you could use some help. What if you gave him a job? Dad
: I don't want him sellin' used cars! Mom
: Why not? It's good enough for you. Dad
: Who says its good enough for me? Mom
: You do. Dad
: Damn right, it's good enough for me. But, I don't need any help. And he'd ruin me if I hired him. A weirdo kid like that. Jeez.
: So, you see, I think you really should go. I think you should come home, singing, with a trophy. I think you should do all those things while you can. Dave
: I win this one for you Mama.