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: Are you, uh, telling me the truth? Brainiac
: Lying to you would be like lying to a mollusk. There's no point.
: The yellow sun. It turns my skin into stone. It's only a matter of time before somebody figures out that I'm not Kent. I know how smart you are, but I know you can help. Milton Fine
: Hmm, try a good sunscreen. Wide-brimmed hat, perhaps.
: You spent the last month telling me that you finally felt like we were meant to be together. Clark Kent
: Don't listen to him, Lana. Bizarro
: I know what's in his mind, Lana. He doesn't love you like I do. Clark Kent
: That's a lie! Bizarro
: You're lying, Clark - to yourself! You're so worried about doing the right thing, you don't even see it. Bizarro
: [to Lana
] You know he won't commit his life to you like I will. You know that. Lana Lang
: He's right, Clark. Clark Kent
: What? Lana Lang
: I've never been more in love than I have the past month. Only it wasn't with you. It was with him. Bizarro
: [extends his hand to Lana
] Nothing will ever come between us again.
[Lana places the blue Kryptonite into Bizarro's hand causing him to overload
: I love you.
[Bizarro erupts and explodes
: Jor-El? I'm searching for something. I think Kara may have brought it here. Jor-El
] Leave here at once, Phantom. Bizarro
: And what if I don't? You're just a voice, Jor-El. An echo from the past. What are you gonna do? Lecture me to death? Jor-El
: You are not welcome here.
: We should go somewhere. Lana Lang
: Why? I'm happy right here. Bizarro
: No, I mean, we should leave Smallville. We should go see the world, Lana - all the places you've ever dreamed of. How about Paris? We'll have breakfast at the Eiffel tower. Lana Lang
: Yeah, right. Bizarro
: I'll fly you there myself. Lana Lang
: You have a lot of powers, Clark, but last I heard, flying wasn't one of them. Bizarro
: You make me feel like I can fly.
: Change of plan. We have a problem. Brainiac
: Having a problem finding your scientist? Bizarro
: The boy scout's back. Brainiac
: The prodigal son of Krypton has returned. Bizarro
: I need to kill him. But when I get near Green Kryptonite to use against Clark, I drain it of its power. Brainiac
: Not a problem. I'll do it. Bizarro
: Look at yourself. You can bearly catch a rat. Brainiac
: I am the Brain Interactive Construct. No matter my form, my intellect remains formidable. Do not underestimate me. This should continue your search for Dax-Ur. Bizarro
: Not before I get Lana away from Clark. Brainiac
] Fall prey to the same human emotion as your counterpart, and you open yourself up to the same weakness. Perhaps you two aren't so different after all.
: [deep, husky voice
] Hey, Clark. You ever wonder what would happen to all these humans if you weren't here to play savior? I know you do. You just never admit it. Clark Kent
: You don't know anything about me. Bizarro
: No, Clark. I know everything about you. I just didn't borrow your DNA, I have all your memories, all your thoughts, every last twisted one of them. When I'm living your life, I won't make those same mistakes.
: You're the phantom. You took Clark's body. Bizarro
: Just a few cells. Clark's still alive. He's out there. And you will help me kill him. I need meteor rocks. A lot of them. Lex Luthor
: I'd never help you kill Clark. Bizarro
: Lex, redemption doesn't suit you. Why protect a Clark Kent who hates you when you can help the one who wants to be your ally? It's what you've always wanted. Isn't it, Lex?
: I may have tracked you around the globe, but clearly you're not a native. Where are you from and why did you only replicate Clark? Bizarro
: Now you got a decision to make, Lex. What's more important? Destroying me or solving the mystery of Clark Kent?
: Hey. Is that all you got? Bizarro
: You're no match for my strength.
: You look really, really hot. Lois Lane
: [snorts the champagne she was just drinking in surprise
] Oh! Well, thanks.
: And then the wolf said to Little Red Riding Hood, 'Are you sure the policy is in your name?' Little Red Riding Hood said, 'Well, yes, Grandma promised that when she passed away I would inherit everything.' And then the wolf said, 'Hm, let's go pay Grandma a visit.' And so Little Red Riding Hood took off her hood and her cape and she gave them to the wolf. Superman Clone
: And the wolf went through the forest to Grandmother's house and ate her! And then he and Red Riding Hood split the money.
: You're not really Superman. You're Clark Kent. Superman
: Have you told anybody else this, your father? Superman Clone
: Not yet, but I might.
: I am not your enemy. I want to be your friend. I want to know more about you, where you come from. Superman Clone
: I was born in the womb. My father took me out. Superman
: Okay. How old are you? Superman Clone
: As old as you are. Ha ha! Catch me if you can.
[Clark meets Bizarro
] Clark Kent
: What just happened? Bizarro
: I took a little piece of your DNA. Now I'm going to take your life.
[Lionel is trying to make his way into the complex. He runs into Bizarro thinking it is Clark
] Lionel Luthor
: Clark. Son, what is it? Clark Kent
: That's not me. It's the phantom. Bizarro
: How do you like my new look?
[Lionel takes out the Kryptonite and thrusts it onto Bizarro's chest. He screams in pain as the Kryptonite glows with a bright white light. Bizarro is rejuvenated from the Kryptonite and looks triumphant
: Thanks. That's just what I needed.
[He strikes Lionel, sending him flying against a wall and collapsing to the floor, unconscious. He walks towards Clark
] Clark Kent
: What the hell are you? Bizarro
: I'm you, only a little more bizarre.
: [after watching a phantom in his likeness become stronger after absorbing Kryptonite
] What are you? Bizarro
: I'm you, just a little more bizarre.
[revealing himself to be Bizarro
: They am no Superman! Me am Superman! Lex Luthor
: Sorry, my friend, but you am toast.
[Bizarro is holding up a collapsing roof to allow Superman to save Lois
: Me hold, you save Lois. Me no am Superman, you am Superman. Superman always save Lois. Lois Lane
: You ARE a hero.
: [sees his reflection
] What am me? Mercy Graves
: Bizarro, that's what you am! Lex Luthor
: Mercy... Bizarro
: Bizarro? That not my name. Mercy Graves
: If the shoe fits, handsome. Bizarro
: No! Me am Superman. Me am hero. Me show you.
[flies through the ceiling
] Lex Luthor
: That's coming out of your pay.
: But, Chief, with all of the SuperFriends in jail, there'll be no one to stop the world's crime Bizarro
: [removes mask and laughs
] Batman guess right. But him not guess me Bizarro with Luthor device to change voice.
: With Luthor's brilliant mutation device hooked up to the SuperFriends' computer, the Justice League satellite will beam its rays all over the world. Bizarro
: Turn all Earth people into Bizarros and Cheetahs. The Cheetah
: And all of them working for our evil purr-poses.
[Alfred enters with a mutated face
] Alfred Bizarro
: Alfred Bizarro to be exactly. Now me got little surprise for you.
: Yes. Me here not protecting these satellites so Lex's plans not come worthiness. Cyborg
: Not sure worthiness is the word there, genius. Bizarro
: Me am not genius.
: Aww, Superbaby so ugly.
[Superbaby punches him
: Me have plan destroy SuperFriends. Then Legion of Doom be ruler of Earth.
: Me rule now! Government of Bizarro, by Bizarro, for Bizarro.
: Bizarro. Superman is your *best* friend! Do you understand? Bizarro
: Bizarro understand. Superman am friend! Bizarro must KILL him!
: Supergirl loves you. James Olsen
: How do you know that? Bizarro
: Supergirl and me. Same. James Olsen
: Why don't you come closer, so I can see you? Bizarro
: No. James Olsen
: Why not? Bizarro
: Ugly. James Olsen
: You know, we... We all feel ugly sometimes. We all feel like no one loves us. Like maybe they never will. And you may not look like her now, but there is a part of you that still is Supergirl. I can feel it. And people don't love her because of what she looks like from the outside. I love her because of who she is. Because she's brave, because she's kind, and she always tries to do the right thing. And you can be the same. You're not a monster.
: Me tired always lose to SuperFriends. Me go home to Bizarro World where everything backwards. There, losing equal winning. Lex Luthor
: Silence, Bizarro! Or you'll be the one who loses.
: Who are you? Bizarro
: Me? Me am... Superman.
[Bizarro charges at Superman
: Me do anything for woman I love! Even break her boyfriend out of jail! Wonder Woman
: And what's going to happen then? Bizarro