Harry Orwell
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Quotes for
Harry Orwell (Character)
from "Harry O" (1973)

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"Harry O: Material Witness (#1.10)" (1974)
Capt. Pete Jaklin: There's no use kidding ourselves. When you leave here with the doctor both of you are gonna be targets. And I want you armed.
Harry Orwell: I don't like guns.
Capt. Pete Jaklin: Well that doesn't make any difference. You just pick one.

Harry Orwell: You wanna tell me if this is a paying job or if I'm doing a favor for the department?
Capt. Pete Jaklin: Why?
Harry Orwell: I can always say "no" to a job.

Dr. Noelle Kira: I have no intention of spending the entire afternoon in some cheap motel room discussing bowling averages with a bored policeman who'd prefer to be at home with his wife watching television. No offense Mr. Elwell.
Harry Orwell: Orwell. Like in 1984.
Dr. Noelle Kira: Excuse me. Orwell.
Harry Orwell: And I'm not married. And excuse me.
[Looks at the special prosecutor]
Harry Orwell: And pardon me.

Harry Orwell: And if I was married, I wouldn't spend my afternoons watching television.

Harry Orwell: What kind of doctor are you?
Dr. Noelle Kira: Ear, nose and throat. What kind of cop are you?
Harry Orwell: Foot, knee and elbow.

Dr. Noelle Kira: You don't seem to understand, Mr. Orwell, I'm not afraid.
Harry Orwell: You don't seem to understand, Dr. Kira, I am. They find you, they find me.
Dr. Noelle Kira: You're saying that I might endanger your life?

Harry Orwell: Aren't you supposed to say it's only a flesh wound?
Dr. Noelle Kira: It's only a flesh wound.
Harry Orwell: And I'll live.
Dr. Noelle Kira: You'll live.
Harry Orwell: Not very talkative, are you?
Dr. Noelle Kira: When I have something to say I usually say it.
Harry Orwell: You don't think I noticed?
Dr. Noelle Kira: It's my first gun wound.
Harry Orwell: Welcome to the club.
Dr. Noelle Kira: You've been shot before?
Harry Orwell: Yeah, I've been shot before.

Dr. Noelle Kira: You're no longer with the police, are you, Harry?
Harry Orwell: No, I'm retired, sort of.
Dr. Noelle Kira: Why?
Dr. Noelle Kira: Why, Harry?
Harry Orwell: Huh? I got shot once too much.

Dr. Noelle Kira: You know, I don't know anything about you.
Harry Orwell: Me? I'm easy. I try to say "yes" more than I say "no." I take vitamin C in the morning. And I still like more people than I don't.
Dr. Noelle Kira: And you try not to get too serious when the subject is you.
Harry Orwell: You're wrong. I'm very serious. Especially about me.

Harry Orwell: Let's face it, Harry. Having an ear, nose and throat specialist save your neck isn't exactly an everyday event.

Capt. Pete Jaklin: Man, when you take a job, you take a job.
Harry Orwell: When I take a job, I take a job!

"Harry O: Gertrude (#1.1)" (1974)
Harry Orwell: A clue is anything that doesn't happen the way it oughtta happen.

Gertrude Blainey: I don't think you're the right detective for me.
Harry Orwell: Gertrude, all detectives are immoral. And we all drink alcoholic beverages.

Gertrude Blainey: [Gertrude hands Harry a beverage in a glass. He starts to drink it and puckers his lips] Oh, did I put too much sugar in there?
Harry Orwell: No, it's very good for what it is.
Gertrude Blainey: Oh, dear, I hope you weren't expecting liquor of some kind.
Harry Orwell: Well, occasionally that's what people mean when they say refreshment.

[first lines]
Harry Orwell: Where I wanted to be was in Idaho Falls, Idaho. Because that's where the circus was playing that day. I would have gotten in my car and gone there. It was only 970 miles, but the car was in Roy Bardello's garage for a new muffler and a starter motor rebuild. So I thought about that.

Harry Orwell: There are a lot of cases I won't take. I don't have to. I have a bullet in my back that gives me a police disability pension. But how often does a private detective get a case where the clue is one shoe, left, civilian, but it belongs to a sailor? Besides which, you don't meet a lot of women who had voices like Gertrude's. If she looked like what she sounded like she looked like, I certainly didn't want anything bad to happen to her brother.

Harry Orwell: Get yourself something to sleep in and bring the sugar canister.
Gertrude Blainey: You mean a night gown?
Harry Orwell: You sleep in a night gown?
Gertrude Blainey: That isn't any of your business.
Harry Orwell: Whatever you wear when you don't sleep at home.
Gertrude Blainey: Sir!
Harry Orwell: You're going to sleep at my house tonight.
Gertrude Blainey: Why can't I sleep here?
Harry Orwell: Mattress is lumpy.

Gertrude Blainey: You're very skeptical.
Harry Orwell: I am. You like the ocean?
Gertrude Blainey: Sometimes I can't follow your sequiturs.
Harry Orwell: Likewise.

Harry Orwell: One of the collateral advantages of riding buses is that it's hard for anyone to tail a bus without giving himself away. A bus moves with a different rhythm than somebody's car. When I was on the force, I had to tail a guy in a bus once. It was the worst 45 minutes I ever spent.

Harry Orwell: He thinks you're on that plane to Brazil.
Gertrude Blainey: Were you so absolutely sure I wouldn't be?
Harry Orwell: Well I thought the very best kind of young woman would not be on it, so I assumed you would not be on it.
[Gertrude smiles]
Harry Orwell: An act of faith.

Harry Orwell: You see baseball teams win more games in their own ball parks. San Diego is my ball park and when you name a street, I can close my eyes and tell you where the traffic lights are. That also applies to bus stops.

"Harry O: Double Jeopardy (#1.19)" (1975)
[first lines]
Harry Orwell: If the fog hadn't burned off early that morning, I wouldn't have gone fishing, and I might never have seen her. The perfect image of the good life. Like a travel brochure. Or a glossy advertisement for your favorite brand of cigarettes.

Harry Orwell: Hey would you do me a favor?
Receptionist: Oh I'd consider it. Then I'd refuse.
Harry Orwell: Hey wait a minute. What if I told you you were the most attractive woman I'd ever met?
Receptionist: Especially if you said that.
Harry Orwell: What if I said that you were the most efficient, the most competent receptionist I'd ever met?
Receptionist: That would make me sick.
Harry Orwell: Yeah what if I told you I was going to quote to you Keats' Ode to a Nightingale?
Receptionist: Can you do that?
Harry Orwell: No, I can't do that. I lied about that.
Receptionist: [laughing] Then I'll consider it.
Harry Orwell: You're a nice girl.

Harry Orwell: [Finds Lt. Trench sitting alone in a courtroom, looking down] You lose a big one?
Lt. K.C. Trench: No, we won. Defendant was convicted.
Harry Orwell: How come you don't look happy about it?
Lt. K.C. Trench: Well, I just work here. Don't I? Defendant was a woman, 24 years old. Probably weighed 95 lbs. She wasn't very pretty. For six years she was married to a man who punched her out once or twice a week, every week, for six years. And finally she couldn't take it anymore. She emptied a .38 into him. So today she was convicted. Punched out one more time. Big triumph for the homicide division, big triumph for the district attorney's office, big triumph for the city, and the state, and the whole free world.
Lt. K.C. Trench: What do you want, Orwell?

Harry Orwell: The big wheels get the grease, right, Trench?
Lt. K.C. Trench: Orwell, I don't know what kind of cop you were. But I do know what kind I am. And my kind of cop gets very angry at cracks like that. And when I'm angry, Orwell, I'm not nice.

Carl Milland: The law's hands are tied. My hands are free.
Harry Orwell: It's too bad they're not clean.

Harry Orwell: And I want to apologize for that remark I made the other day. I was out of line.
Lt. K.C. Trench: That's right. You were.

Harry Orwell: Goodbye, ladies, I'm a mental giant.

Todd Conway: [refering to his van] You sell it and add that to your fee.
Harry Orwell: Well, I may keep it and sell this. I think my sports car phase is coming to an end.

"Harry O: APB Harry Orwell (#2.9)" (1975)
[first lines]
Harry Orwell: I was waiting for a potential client out on the pier. Piers are good places for pondering the eternal enigmas of the universe. Like why are women usually late. Particularly after specifying a precise time as in 10:00 sharp. My conclusion was... they have smaller wristwatches.

Harry Orwell: Preliminary hearings are like out of town openings for plays. The prosecutor is still sharpening his dialogue for the big premier in front of the jury. It's not very dramatic except when they get to the surprises.

Harry Orwell: To be charged with murder is hard enough on an ex-policeman's self esteem. But when you're accused of leaving clues as big as billboards, it's downright embarrassing.

Harry Orwell: Having been bound over for trial, I was moved downtown. It's like transferring to another regiment in the service. While you don't move very far, you're a very long way from friends. So I was grateful when the police department sent me a care package.

Harry Orwell: My roommate reminded me of an incident in San Diego when a hold-up man and a drunk shared the same cell. During the night the guards changed. In the morning the hold-up man was gone and the drunk was still waiting for his bail bondsman. Well it was all very embarrassing for the guard so I was pretty sure they hadn't discussed it with the LAPD.

Harry Orwell: Here, you want something for breakfast? Dig in.
[Hands Lt. Trench a cracker with peanut butter on it]
Lt. K.C. Trench: As a matter of fact...
[Harry and Trench proceed to have the rest of the conversation while busily eating crackers with peanut butter]
Harry Orwell: I'm glad you came by. There's something I want to talk to you about.
Lt. K.C. Trench: Walter J. Blanke?
Harry Orwell: Never heard of him.
Lt. K.C. Trench: Walter J. Blanke. Male. Caucasian. Age 41. Married, 2 children. Until last night controller of Pacific Security Finance.
Harry Orwell: What happened last night?
Lt. K.C. Trench: Orwell, you have 6 months of unopened bank statements here. How can you possibly know if your account balances?
Harry Orwell: Hmm? I figured the bank is gonna use my money, they can do my bookkeeping.
Lt. K.C. Trench: Last night, Orwell, Walter J. Blanke was murdered. We found his body in the landfill up the canyon from here. He had this in his pocket.
[Trench hands Harry a slip of paper]
Harry Orwell: Well it's my address. How'd he get it?
Lt. K.C. Trench: Silly enough, Orwell, that's exactly what I was going to ask you.
Harry Orwell: I never heard of Walter... Blanke? Never heard of him.
Lt. K.C. Trench: Just for the record, Orwell, where were you last night between 9:00 and 12:00?
Harry Orwell: I was here mostly.
Lt. K.C. Trench: Mostly?
Harry Orwell: Yeah. I was out on the pier for awhile, talking to a young lady. That's what I want to talk to you about.
Lt. K.C. Trench: We will discuss hanky panky at a later time. Right now, Orwell, I have a murder investigation on my hands.

Harry Orwell: [Sees Lt. Trench and Sgt. Roberts checking out his car tires] If you're going to a swap meet, you're not going to get much for my hubcaps.
Lt. K.C. Trench: The tires are the same, Orwell.
Harry Orwell: That's what you get when you buy four at a time.
Lt. K.C. Trench: When did you repair the right rear?
Harry Orwell: Four days ago, maybe it was three days ago. Why?
Lt. K.C. Trench: The tread and the puncture mark are identical to an imprint we found at the landfill.
Harry Orwell: That's exciting.
Lt. K.C. Trench: Orwell, I think you should know certain unsettling facts are arranging themselves in your proximity.

"Harry O: Elegy for a Cop (#1.21)" (1975)
[first lines]
Harry Orwell: My friend Manny Quinlan called in sick, took the day off, and came north to Los Angeles on family business. Two hours and 10 minutes by the legal speed limit. My friend Manny was a legal man. Behind him was his wife, his children, his job, his mother and his father, his brothers, and his sisters. My friend Manny was a family man. Very few people knew where Manny was going. Only the people who had to know. His mother and his brother Jesus knew what he was trying to do, but they didn't know where he was. His wife knew he was in Los Angeles, but she didn't know where in Los Angeles. My friend Manny was alone.

Harry Orwell: Any honest policeman knows that if he's shot and killed in another city where he's not supposed to be and his body is found with $2,400 on it, then there has to be a scandal. And people have to question his honesty. But he can't answer for himself when he's dead. He knows that.

Harry Orwell: $2,400 is a funny amount of money. It's $200 a month; $50 a week for a year; like a cheap and rotten policeman on a weekly payroll. Not a big crook, just a little crook without self respect.

Harry Orwell: I came to pay my last respects. I was trying to avoid private grief in a public place. I got there after the funeral was over.

Harry Orwell: My mother is dead, so's my father. And I never had a sister. Even Sherlock Holmes had a brother, but not me. All I have are my friends. If you take one of them away from me, you steal a piece of my life.

Harry Orwell: I don't have information. If I want information I go to you. What I have is hunches.
Lt. K.C. Trench: But I don't trust hunches.
Harry Orwell: Well then what do you want me to share them with you for?
Lt. K.C. Trench: That's why I always have mixed feelings.
Harry Orwell: Put it on my gravestone, like in those old New England cemeteries. Stranger, pass not by for beneath this stone lies a man on whom judgment was passed with mixed feelings.

Harry Orwell: The address and the name on the envelope were mine. The handwriting was Manny Quinlan's. Throw in the bullet holes and you've got a kind of last will and testament and I was the executor. The executor is the one who pays off debts and settles accounts, which is about the way you would have to describe a private detective whose friend is murdered.

"Harry O: For the Love of Money (#1.15)" (1975)
Lt. K.C. Trench: [Harry answers his door; Lt. Trench and Sgt. Roberts push past him] Harry Orwell?
Harry Orwell: Yeah, who're you?
Lt. K.C. Trench: Trench. Lieutenant Trench.
Harry Orwell: Whaddya want?
Lt. K.C. Trench: Maybe you.

Lt. K.C. Trench: You know I'm about to book you as an accessory, Orwell.
Harry Orwell: Accessory to what?
Lt. K.C. Trench: Don't play dumb.
Harry Orwell: I'm not playing dumb. That's the real me, coming through.

Harry Orwell: If you're away from home, you have to have a place to live. I like to live near the ocean. In Los Angeles, the ocean is in Santa Monica. So I rented an apartment in Santa Monica. The waves are nice and the girls dress differently at the beach. That's nice too.

Kathy: I like your cologne.
Harry Orwell: You what?
Kathy: Your cologne. I like it.
Harry Orwell: I don't use cologne.
Kathy: Wow.

Harry Orwell: Will I live?
Lt. K.C. Trench: X-rays show no bones broken. You've got a hard head, Orwell.
Harry Orwell: How'd I get here?
Lt. K.C. Trench: I brought you.
Harry Orwell: Well, you were dragging your feet a little, weren't you, Lieutenant?
Lt. K.C. Trench: I've got more than one case, Orwell. What happened?
Harry Orwell: I played dodge the car and lost.
Lt. K.C. Trench: Car driven by Frank Long, or Kincaide, or Wilson from Miami or Dallas... take your pick? He's made a whole tour. Only now that you've contacted him and scared him, he'll really go into a well.
Harry Orwell: Yeah, I'm sorry about that. You sure I'm alright?
Lt. K.C. Trench: Technically. Being sorry doesn't correct matters.
Harry Orwell: I got hit by a car or a car hit me. I don't know which. Now I don't feel good. Can I get out of here?
Lt. K.C. Trench: As far as the hospital is concerned. I'm about to put a tail on you.
Harry Orwell: That won't do any good. I'd shake it.
Lt. K.C. Trench: In San Diego maybe. Not in L.A.

Lt. K.C. Trench: Your client called. She and her boyfriend are coming in.
Harry Orwell: Is that why you were ten minutes late getting here?
Lt. K.C. Trench: No. You have a shorter drive.
Harry Orwell: [Smugly] But I don't have a siren and a red, flashing light.
Lt. K.C. Trench: I'll tell you what you do have, Orwell.
Harry Orwell: What's that?
Lt. K.C. Trench: [to Roberts] You tell him.
Harry Orwell: [Looks at Roberts and whispers] Experience.

Pauline: You've been going around asking a lot of people a lot of different questions.
Harry Orwell: That is the nature of my business.

"Harry O: Anatomy of a Frame (#2.1)" (1975)
[first lines]
Harry Orwell: Lt. Trench went off the clock at 8:30 a.m. to start a two week vacation. He was joining his wife and children who were fishing on the east fork of the salmon river. The double bag he packed the night before was in his trunk. The lieutenant is a very methodical man.

Lt. K.C. Trench: The only person available to whom I can unburden my soul is a middle aged beach bum of somewhat questionable repute.
Harry Orwell: You have a problem.

[last lines]
Harry Orwell: You sure your family's coming back of its own free will?

Harry Orwell: Trench, you have tunnel vision about your work. By your own admission, you do not drink in public, you do not socialize with the other members of the department. You're a snob, you're opinionated, and what's worse, you're usually right.
Lt. K.C. Trench: I don't know that you're the best judge of that, Orwell.

Lt. K.C. Trench: My preliminary hearing is this afternoon. I must admit they have a pretty good case.
Harry Orwell: You're trying to hire me in your own desperate way.
Lt. K.C. Trench: In my own desperate way, yes.
Harry Orwell: Alright, I'm hired. Now get out of here. Take the drink; get outta here.
Lt. K.C. Trench: If that's the way you treat your clients, no wonder you live in a...

Harry Orwell: What does Internal Affairs have? A little hanky panky with the girl?
Lt. K.C. Trench: Orwell, I'm not sure I like the...
Harry Orwell: It's been known to happen, Lieutenant, even with police officers.
Lt. K.C. Trench: Hanky panky?

"Harry O: Mortal Sin (#1.4)" (1974)
[first lines]
Paul Vecchio: [knocks on door] Harry!
Harry Orwell: [Harry is asleep in bed. His voiceover narration:] Being a sound sleeper can be either a blessing or a curse. It's a curse if someone yells "fire." It's a blessing if you sleep with someone who snores. I'm not a sound sleeper. A girl once said I'd awaken at the sound of a twinkling star. The girl was a poet. Some days I don't wake up all that easily. A man shouldn't be too consistent.

Paul Vecchio: Cherry-lipped lads and girls besides, like adulterous cooks come to the tides.
Harry Orwell: That's wrong. Golden lads and girls all must, as chimney-sweepers, come to dust. Shakespeare.

Paul Vecchio: Breaking the seal of the confession is a mortal sin.
Harry Orwell: So is murder, Father.

Harry Orwell: Death is always an indignity.

Harry Orwell: Go with God, Paul.
Paul Vecchio: I'll try, Harry. You too.

[last lines]
Harry Orwell: Pilgrim's Progress. He wasn't running so desperately anymore. And maybe he was gaining some ground.

"Harry O: Lester (#1.20)" (1975)
Sgt. Don Roberts: Lieutenant? I've got a set of probabilities now if you want 'em.
Lt. K.C. Trench: And if I don't?
[Roberts looks confused]
Lt. K.C. Trench: Go on, Roberts.
[Roberts hesitates... indicating Harry]
Lt. K.C. Trench: Go ahead. He won't believe you anyway.
Sgt. Don Roberts: Well, the mark on the hood is recent. Could have been caused by hitting somebody.
[Harry makes a sound of disbelief]
Sgt. Don Roberts: The stain on the carpeting? It's uh... it's what we thought it was.
Harry Orwell: [spells out the letters] B L O O D ?
Lt. K.C. Trench: Ignore him. Just let me know if it matches up with the blood smear on the grass.
Sgt. Don Roberts: I found this stuffed up under the front seat.
Lt. K.C. Trench: [Takes the scarf from Roberts and holds it up] L N... Now what do you suppose that stands for, Orwell?
Harry Orwell: [Shrugs] Long neck?
Lt. K.C. Trench: No.
Harry Orwell: Lynn Northrup?
Lt. K.C. Trench: Too obvious. Lester Newton Hodges.
Harry Orwell: No H.
Sgt. Don Roberts: No it's a woman's scarf.
Lt. K.C. Trench: Hodges is a transvestite.
Harry Orwell: It's a possibility.
Sgt. Don Roberts: That's it!
Lt. K.C. Trench: That is not it.
[Roberts shakes his head, looking worried. Trench puts his arm around Roberts and leads him away]
Lt. K.C. Trench: Roberts, come here.

Harry Orwell: There'll be others.
Judy: No, there won't be others.
Harry Orwell: Oh, that's right, cause you fixed it.
Judy: Yes, I fixed it.
Harry Orwell: You fixed it by framing Lester.
Judy: What?
Harry Orwell: By framing Lester, it was *his* car that ran over Lynn Northrup! The pictures were in *his* files! You really fixed him, didn't you?
Judy: That's a terrible, horrible thing to say. No, I didn't!
Harry Orwell: If you can't have him, nobody can have him?
Judy: He's *my* husband!
Harry Orwell: That's a fantasyland! The loss of virginity is *not* a marriage!

Harry Orwell: SPOILER: You're sort of a prude, aren't you, Judy?
Judy: What?
Harry Orwell: You killed two girls. You ripped their clothes off. You made it look like a psycho. And then you covered them up.
Judy: They looked indecent.
Harry Orwell: That's how murdered people look, Judy.

Barbara Manush: Oh the Larrabee estate.
Harry Orwell: Where's that?
Barbara Manush: Oh that's up on one of the canyons. Old Larrabee was an eccentric millionaire way back in the 1920s. He built a mansion and he imported old statuary, and young girls, and exotic trees.
Harry Orwell: Sounds like my kind of guy.

Harry Orwell: Old man Larrabee may have been an eccentric but he must have given great parties. If you listened hard and you gave your imagination a little play, you could still hear the sounds of revelry.

"Harry O: Guardian at the Gates (#1.3)" (1974)
Marian Sawyer: You're beautiful. Not exactly handsome, but beautiful.
Harry Orwell: I've always thought of myself exactly that way.

[first lines]
Harry Orwell: Jogging isn't a sport, it's a penance.

Marian Sawyer: I've got to find out who did this. Are you for hire, Orwell?
Harry Orwell: When I feel like it, Sawyer.

Lt. Manuel 'Manny' Quinlan: Now what were you doing here?
Harry Orwell: Just passing by in the service of a client.
Lt. Manuel 'Manny' Quinlan: Now that's a solid non-answer.

[last lines]
Harry Orwell: Don't worry, Sawyer, I won't tell on ya. Love is only occasionally sinful.

"Harry O: The Madonna Legacy (#2.13)" (1975)
Harry Orwell: The story was on page 4, small paragraph at the bottom. Former captain of detectives found dead on beach. Suicide probable cause of death. It's a strange feeling looking at the photograph of a friend you're told is dead. Seems to bear no resemblance to him.

Jenny: You were gonna call me. That was six months ago!
Harry Orwell: Well, I never said I was prompt.
Jenny: Harry, whatever it is you want... out of the question.
Harry Orwell: [Shows her a piece of paper] Frank MacDonald. There's his number. I want to know what phone calls he made last night.
Jenny: There's no way. I could lose my job!
[On the phone with someone else]
Jenny: Yes, sir. Right. I will give it my immediate attention.
[She waves at Harry as if to tell him to go away]
Harry Orwell: [Harry shows her the piece of paper again] I don't want you to tap his phone. I just want you to give me the numbers he dialed last night. For old time's sake.
Jenny: Harry, we didn't have any old times. Let's talk about new times.
Harry Orwell: Yeah. Dinner on the beach. Candlelight. Champagne. Things like that.
Jenny: [Takes the piece of paper from him] I won't hold my breath.

Harry Orwell: There are times when I want to speak to Trench and times when Trench wants to speak to me. But somehow those times never seem to coincide.

Lt. K.C. Trench: When we get there, Orwell, I'll ask the questions. I like to keep in practice.
Harry Orwell: Well, you know how you get to Carnegie Hall.
Harry Orwell, Lt. K.C. Trench: Practice.

Harry Orwell: I have mixed feelings about going to the mailbox in the morning. It's not the junk mail that's always there. I like junk mail. It's usually more reassuring than reading the morning paper. And it's not the bills I know I'm going to find. I can't pay those anyway. What bothers me, I guess, is the element of surprise. Like today. When I got a package from a dead man.

"Harry O: Group Terror (#2.10)" (1975)
Breda Beach: I hope you don't mind conferring on the run, Mr. Orwell.
Harry Orwell: No, no, it's just that I have a little trouble thinking and sweating at the same time. Can we slow down?

Harry Orwell: Don't hit Harry. Harry doesn't like pain.

Lt. K.C. Trench: You wouldn't be bent on questioning the workshop cast, would you?
Harry Orwell: Oh, no, no, no, I'm just here to get tickets for the next performance.
Lt. K.C. Trench: Of what?
Harry Orwell: Merchant of Venice.
Lt. K.C. Trench: Why this sudden surge of interest in the classics, Orwell?
Harry Orwell: It's not for me; it's for a friend.
Lt. K.C. Trench: Who?
Harry Orwell: Huh? I can't tell you that.
Lt. K.C. Trench: Yes, you can. If you wish to avoid a surfeit of legwork.
Harry Orwell: A surfeit of legwork, well...
Lt. K.C. Trench: Contemplating the reservoir of information welling up behind these eyes, rushing to be released...
Sgt. Roberts: Oh, come on, who's your client?

Harry Orwell: You want a beer? I'm practicing.
Lt. K.C. Trench: I'm on duty.
Harry Orwell: Have some chili. I just made it. It's delicious.

Harry Orwell: [Harry and Breda are having lunch at an outdoor cafe] Let's dwell on you.
Breda Beach: No, let's dwell on you. You know you're a very interesting person.
Harry Orwell: Thank you very much.
Breda Beach: You're not my type though.
Harry Orwell: Well I said the same thing. You're a very attractive woman. Not my type at all.
Breda Beach: Well, that's good. We have no shattered illusions on either side.
Harry Orwell: I knew you were an aggressive, career-woman type and that type turns me off.
Breda Beach: Well, I knew you were a complacent, unsociable chauvinist.
Harry Orwell: And I don't like salad.
Breda Beach: Well, except for seafood, I'm a vegetarian.
Breda Beach: I like crowds.
Harry Orwell: I like solitude. I like the beach, the ocean.
Breda Beach: You're so traditional. No imagination.
Harry Orwell: I depend on experience, reality. You, on the other hand, would not know a fact if it were in your salad.
Breda Beach: We'll never make it, Harry.
[Breda starts to pour wine into Harry's glass from a bottle]
Breda Beach: Just say when.

"Harry O: Second Sight (#1.9)" (1974)
Harry Orwell: Is Ms. Conners home?
Blanche Olney: No she isn't.
Harry Orwell: Will she be back soon?
Blanche Olney: Yes.
Harry Orwell: May I come in and wait?
Blanche Olney: Is she expecting you?
Harry Orwell: If she's a psychic she is.

Lt. Manuel 'Manny' Quinlan: What were you doing in Dr. Bower's appointment book, then?
Harry Orwell: Well he wanted to hire me. He said he needed a body guard. Somebody was trying to kill him. I said, "I'm not a body guard, I'm a private detective." You know, Manny, I don't even carry a gun, you know that.

[last lines]
Harry Orwell: What is it?
Fay Conners: [Smiling broadly] I was just thinking... You look exactly like what I thought you'd look like.
Harry Orwell: You can't win them all.

Fay Conners: It's a beautiful day, isn't it?
Harry Orwell: You noticed?
Fay Conners: Don't you think I can feel the sun on my face?
Harry Orwell: It's a very pretty face.
[Guides her to the couch]
Harry Orwell: Sit down, right to your right.
Fay Conners: Don't say that, please.
Harry Orwell: Don't say you have a pretty face?
Fay Conners: Blind people don't look the same.
Harry Orwell: They don't?
Fay Conners: That play of expression isn't there. You know, when you're born blind, you don't have anyone to model yourself after. When you lose your sight, you tend to forget what you're supposed to look like.
Harry Orwell: Well you're wrong on both counts.
Fay Conners: I'm the one who's blind.
Harry Orwell: My authority is Dr. Arnold Pearce.
Harry Orwell: Your expression changed.

"Harry O: One for the Road (#2.2)" (1975)
Harry Orwell: Jennifer Roth was probably one of the top 5 attorneys in the city. She was also very attractive and fairly wealthy. For all of that, what impressed me most was her sense of justice.

Harry Orwell: I'd be glad to drive you out there. It'd be my pleasure.
Jennifer Roth: [laughs] What's the matter; you don't trust me behind the wheel of a car?
Harry Orwell: No, I trust you. I just think that you're a woman that's been booked and fingerprinted for the first time in her life.

Jennifer Roth: Do you have any burning ambitions, Harry?
Harry Orwell: Well, there was a time when I thought I wanted to be the chief of police. Then I found out that was a job for a politician, not a cop. When I had to leave the force, I toyed with the idea of being rich. Then I realized that most of the things I wanted were either free or didn't cost that much.
Jennifer Roth: What'd you settle for?
Harry Orwell: Oh, I don't know. Just being a guy that goes to work and tries to make a living, keeps his promises and gets a kick out of walking on the beach looking at the sunset.

Harry Orwell: Hello Jeannie.
Jean Parnell: Hey... If it isn't Handsome Harry, come to brighten my day.
Harry Orwell: What's the good word?
Jean Parnell: Depends on why you're here.
Harry Orwell: Why I'm here?
Jean Parnell: If you're here to announce that you have reservations for two on the 7:00 flight to Las Vegas and I'm the only woman in the world you want to join you, then I'm terrific. Otherwise I got a headache and my eyes hurt.
Harry Orwell: Well I can't make Vegas so I'll keep you in aspirins and eye drops, alright?
Jean Parnell: Oh, Harry, you're irresistible. What do you want?

"Harry O: The Last Heir (#1.14)" (1975)
[first lines]
Harry Orwell: In the desert people have a hard time living. They need water; they need shade. Otherwise, they die. Mostly people stay away.

Letty: Tell me, Valentino, are you married?
Harry Orwell: Well, I was once.
Letty: To a young girl?
Harry Orwell: She was when I married her.
Letty: Have you got anything against mature women?
Harry Orwell: No.
Letty: Lot of rich widows in this world. You might give that some thought next time.
Harry Orwell: [sees his ride back to town start to drive away] Hey! Hey!
Harry Orwell: Now what am I gonna do?
Letty: Oh don't worry he'll be back in a week.
Harry Orwell: Well what am I gonna do in the meantime?
Letty: Where did I hear that you believe in happy endings?

Letty: How much do you weigh?
Harry Orwell: Huh?
Letty: Stripped.
Harry Orwell: 180.
Letty: I bet it's all muscle.

Harry Orwell: I felt good. Good bye, desert. I was on my way back to the beach.

"Harry O: Reflections (#2.11)" (1975)
Harry Orwell: I think I like the early morning best because it's a beginning. Nothing's happened to spoil it. Usually you're given a few minutes to appreciate the stillness around you. But not this morning.

Lt. K.C. Trench: You didn't tell me you'd been married.
Harry Orwell: I guess it slipped my mind. I usually tell you most things, Lieutenant.
Lt. K.C. Trench: You mind my asking what happened?
Harry Orwell: To my marriage? She got tired of being alone.

Elizabeth Carson: So you finally moved to the beach and bought a boat.
[Harry smiles and nods]
Elizabeth Carson: Well, you never were happy in that apartment.
Harry Orwell: I was happy.

Harry Orwell: I should have called Trench but I couldn't take the chance with Carson's life. It meant too much to Elizabeth. And she meant too much to me.

"Harry O: Sound of Trumpets (#1.17)" (1975)
[first lines]
Harry Orwell: When they tore down my house in San Diego to make an empty place for a new high rise, I felt they were trying to tell me something. So I decided to stay in Santa Monica. I like my neighbors. I like the little bar I was sitting in. I like the piano player.

Lt. K.C. Trench: That's right. But that's procedure. I have to follow through on procedure. You know that.
Harry O: Procedure. You're not giving him a chance.

Harry Orwell: You playing games with me?
Lt. K.C. Trench: Perhaps. Off the record, Orwell, this does look like a setup.
Harry Orwell: Yeah and Sully's the patsy. Just suppose he called Hacktel and was invited here.
Lt. K.C. Trench: Then somebody would have a golden opportunity and a perfect alibi.

Harry Orwell: A procedure? You want to go by the book this time you're gonna have a dead star on your hands. Named Ruthie Daniels.

"Harry O: Coinage of the Realm (#1.5)" (1974)
[first lines]
Harry Orwell: Some people think that catching fish depends on the fisherman. Some people think it depends on the fish. Well I kind of go along with the first group. No one ever asked the fish what they think.

Harry Orwell: I've always heard that numismatists were a friendly, pleasant people.
Shelly Yorkfield: Where'd you hear that?
Harry Orwell: The word is out.

Harry Orwell: What do you think?
Shelly Yorkfield: About what?
Harry Orwell: Fishing.
Shelly Yorkfield: You don't have to be smart to fish.
Harry Orwell: Well, you have to be smarter than the fish.

[last lines]
Harry Orwell: Maybe you can teach the kid how to fish.
Shelly Yorkfield: That's easy. I'm smarter than they are. Like you.
Harry Orwell: Be my guest.

Smile Jenny, You're Dead (1974) (TV)
Lt. Humphrey Kenner: How'd you like my daughter?
Harry Orwell: [laughing softly] I'll take her for Christmas.

Lt. Humphrey Kenner: What are you so angry about?
Harry Orwell: Don't shove money at me to buy my help.
Lt. Humphrey Kenner: Harry, it's my only child.
Harry Orwell: Well then have some trust.

Liberty Cole: You lead a funny kind of life. You don't even have a car.
Harry Orwell: I have a car.
Liberty Cole: Then why don't you use it?
Harry Orwell: It's gonna cost me about $300 to get the transmission rebuilt and I'm thinking about it.
Liberty Cole: You broke now?
Harry Orwell: [chuckles softly] That's not what I'm talking about. It's a way of life.

"Harry O: Shadows at Noon (#1.7)" (1974)
[first lines]
Harry Orwell: Shopping isn't one of my favorite things. Neither is planning ahead. Now how do I know what I'm gonna want for dinner tomorrow. How do I know I'm gonna want dinner tomorrow. How do I know there's gonna be a tomorrow. When you live alone your thinking gets funny. Next time I'll make a list.

Harry Orwell: [Arrives home from shopping to find his door locked. He knocks until a young lady opens the door] Are you the lady of the house?
Marilyn Sidwell: What do you want?
Harry Orwell: I'm from George's Market. I got the groceries you ordered.
Marilyn Sidwell: Oh. Well just leave them there.
Harry Orwell: No wait a minute. It's $14.23.
Marilyn Sidwell: What?
Harry Orwell: We don't have charge accounts. $14.23?
Marilyn Sidwell: Oh. Well, just a minute.
Harry Orwell: [She lets him in. Harry watches as she goes looking for money in a drawer] Why don't you try the sugar bowl?
Marilyn Sidwell: What?
Harry Orwell: [Points toward the kitchen] Sugar bowl. In the kitchen. Most people keep their grocery money in the sugar bowl.
[Harry points to an upper cabinet]
Marilyn Sidwell: Oh. Yes.
Harry Orwell: [She climbs up on the counter to reach the cabinet and Harry sees that she has blood on the bottom of her foot] How'd you hurt your foot?
Marilyn Sidwell: Uh... I cut it on some rocks. There... it's $15. You can keep the change.
Harry Orwell: Thank you.
[Harry takes the money and puts it and the rest of the cash back into the sugar bowl and puts it back in the cabinet]
Harry Orwell: I guess I better take a look at your foot. There's a first aid kit in the bathroom.
[She starts walking towards the door to leave]
Harry Orwell: Hey... sit down. Go on... sit down.
Marilyn Sidwell: [She sits on the couch and Harry starts first aid on her foot] I'm sorry.
Harry Orwell: For what?
Marilyn Sidwell: Breaking and entering. I needed a place to stay.
Harry Orwell: It's a sea urchin.
Marilyn Sidwell: What?
Harry Orwell: You stepped on a sea urchin. They have these spines. They're very poisonous.
Marilyn Sidwell: Will you let me stay here?

[last lines]
Harry Orwell: I felt like screaming. But I didn't. You can get into a lot of trouble screaming. I decided to run instead. It didn't do much good. I did another thing that didn't do much good either. I locked the door to my house. Not that I was worried about anyone trespassing. I just liked the feeling of having a key in my pocket.

"Harry O: Mister Five and Dime (#2.14)" (1976)
Harry Orwell: Now I have this friend Lester Hodges, sometimes known as the boy criminologist. How he became my friend is something of a mystery in itself. I think he adopted me one day when I wasn't paying attention.

Lt. K.C. Trench: I've got an armed robbery and a homicide. My only lead... a tattooed snake.
Harry Orwell: Who would tattoo a snake?
Lt. K.C. Trench: The suspect has a tattoo of a snake winding around his arm with the head here.

Harry Orwell: If I don't clear myself with Lt. Trench, and if I don't tell him what time, when, and where the shipment of heroin is coming in, he's going to deport me, that's why.
Lester Hodges: He can't do that. You're an American.
Harry Orwell: That's how bad it is.

"Harry O: Past Imperfect (#2.16)" (1976)
Harry Orwell: I hadn't been surprised when I got a call from Sarah Webber because Lt. Trench had called me first and asked me to do him a favor. He was worried about her. You know, for Trench that was really quite sentimental. He said he didn't want any DOAs on his turf.

Harry Orwell: [Enters a florist shop] You wouldn't happen to be Miss Webber?
Sara Webber: I certainly would.
Harry Orwell: Yeah, Harry Orwell.
Sara Webber: Oh, Mr. Orwell. Thank you for coming. Umm. Well, I've seen you. I've kept my part of the bargain; so would you like to buy a plant?
Harry Orwell: I see. You didn't want to make the phone call. You don't trust me. You don't want to talk to me.
Sara Webber: I like the way you put it.
Harry Orwell: Lt. Trench did say you had a limited sense of self preservation.
[Shrugs and turns to walk away]
Harry Orwell: Say hello to Mack the Knife.

Harry Orwell: Sara, this is... uh... Sue. Sue, this is... uh... Sara. Sara's going to stay over for a couple of days.
Sue Ingham: How nice.
Harry Orwell: Hey... uh... Sue's my next door neighbor.
Sara Webber: How convenient.
Harry Orwell: Oh! Here they are. Fuses... got 'em. There you go.
Sue Ingham: Thank you. I'll just go home now and stumble around in the dark and try to find a place to put it without electrocuting myself. Goodbye.
Sara Webber: She's pretty.
Harry Orwell: Uh... yeah. Well, she is... uh you know... sort of the kid next door type. She stops by for a cup of coffee every now and then.
Sara Webber: Next time you have a cup, better check for arsenic.

"Harry O: Ballinger's Choice (#1.8)" (1974)
Harry Orwell: Funny how you can spot trouble. I hadn't seen Margaret Ballinger for about six months. Maybe it was the way she stood there, not moving, just waiting for me, that warned me something was wrong.

Harry Orwell: Did it ever occur to you that Phillip might be lying to you? It's happened. Married men telling lies to little girls?

[last lines]
Harry Orwell: We all have to come in out of the cold once in a while. And we all warm ourselves at different fires. Sometimes you get burned.

"Harry O: The Mysterious Case of Lester and Dr. Fong (#2.21)" (1976)
Harry Orwell: I've never met Simon Applequist and from what I'd heard about him I wasn't sure I wanted to. But he'd asked to see me and the note requesting my presence was accompanied by $1000 in cash. At those prices, why not see how the other half lives.

Lester Hodges: [as Harry looks at a reel of film] She started out to be a serious actress but as you can see her talent seem to lie more in the area of... what's the word?
Harry Orwell: Pornography.
Lester Hodges: Pornography, yes.

"Harry O: The Admiral's Lady (#1.2)" (1974)
[first lines]
Harry Orwell: It was one of those afternoons. The crossword puzzle annoyed me. I didn't feel like working on the boat and the fog was getting ready. I could feel it coming in my back.

[last lines]
Harry Orwell: The tumult and the shouting dies. The Captains and the Kings depart. Still stands Thine ancient sacrifice, an humble and a contrite heart. Good luck, Admiral.

"Harry O: Eyewitness (#1.6)" (1974)
[first lines]
Harry Orwell: Some days it doesn't pay to pursue your hobby. Some days your hobby can turn on you. Your hobby tries to hit you, hit it back. That's what I always say.

[last lines]
Harry Orwell: It wasn't exactly ready for sailing but I don't like to rush things.
Harry Orwell: I'll go sailing tomorrow.

"Harry O: Street Games (#1.22)" (1975)
Harry Orwell: Once when I was a little kid I built a castle out of some old soda pop bottles. Freddy was a mean kid who lived up the block. He came by and he knocked over my castle. Lt. Trench reminds me of Freddy.

Policewoman: Lt. Trench tells me you used to be a policeman.
Harry Orwell: I used to be.
Policewoman: What kind of policeman?
Harry Orwell: Lieutenant type.

"Harry O: The Confetti People (#1.16)" (1975)
Harry Orwell: The birds right out of the trees.
Lt. K.C. Trench: What's that supposed to mean?
Harry Orwell: Charm.
Lt. K.C. Trench: For your information, Orwell, there are people who find me irresistible. On the other hand there are people...
Harry Orwell: There are people like me.
Lt. K.C. Trench: like you
Harry Orwell: Who can't find you at all.

Lt. K.C. Trench: Orwell, you have a way of getting involved with some pretty bizarre people.
Harry Orwell: Ain't that the truth.

"Harry O: Forty Reasons to Kill: Part 1 (#1.11)" (1974)
Lt. Manuel 'Manny' Quinlan: You know something, Harry? You went quite a distance when you left the force.
Harry Orwell: What does that mean?
Lt. Manuel 'Manny' Quinlan: Oh, skip it. Come on.

Harry Orwell: You're not bad looking for a farmer's daughter.
Glenna Nelson: All the traveling salesmen tell me that.

"Harry O: Tender Killing Care (#2.8)" (1975)
Nurse: Mr. Orwell, why should I tell you anything?
Harry Orwell: Because my feet hurt?
Nurse: What?
Harry Orwell: My feet hurt.
Nurse: There's a podiatrist down the hall. Would you like to make an appointment?
Harry Orwell: No I would rather you had pity on me and talk to me about Dr. Mangram because my feet hurt.

Spencer Johnson: Your father still alive, Harry?
Harry Orwell: Yeah, he lives in Florida.
Spencer Johnson: When's the last time you talked with him?

"Harry O: Silent Kill (#1.18)" (1975)
Harry Orwell: You mind if I'm impolite?
Laura Mayo: Are you gonna make a pass?
Harry Orwell: Well, first I want to be impolite.

Lt. K.C. Trench: [after Harry runs out of a burning building] How do you feel? How do you feel?
Harry Orwell: Medium rare?

"Harry O: Accounts Balanced (#1.13)" (1974)
[first lines]
Harry Orwell: Looking back on that day, I realize I would have been dead now if I'd been a better mechanic.

Harry Orwell: The facts are often poor servants of the truth.

"Harry O: Ruby (#2.20)" (1976)
Harry Orwell: She was the most elegant lady of the evening I'd ever met. I hadn't seen her in some time; I wasn't quite sure what to expect. It wasn't what I saw.

Ruby Dome: What took you so long?
Harry Orwell: I guess I'm getting older, Ruby.
Ruby Dome: Well, regardless, you're beautiful, Harry.
Joseph 'Hotwire' Jackson: I'll second that.

"Harry O: The Acolyte (#2.6)" (1975)
Harry Orwell: I am not a great and saintly man. So I decided to have a beer instead.

"Harry O: Shades (#2.4)" (1975)
Harry Orwell: The trouble with amateurs searching a room is that they don't know where to look.

"Harry O: Hostage (#2.17)" (1976)
Lt. K.C. Trench: I probably should thank you, Orwell. You may have saved my life.
Harry Orwell: Well I didn't do it on purpose.

"Harry O: Forbidden City (#2.18)" (1976)
Lt. K.C. Trench: Orwell, what we have here is a probable homicide, which does not allow for withholding evidence. I hope that nuance is not wasted on you.
Harry Orwell: I'm very good at nuances.

"Harry O: Victim (#2.19)" (1976)
Lt. K.C. Trench: [Harry had given a bag of coffee beans to Trench] If you don't like the coffee we serve here, Orwell, you don't have to drink it.
[Trench hands the coffee back to Harry]
Lt. K.C. Trench: As a matter of fact, you don't have to come in at all.
Harry Orwell: You'd miss me.
[Harry throws the paper bag back at Trench]
Lt. K.C. Trench: Goodbye, Orwell.
Harry Orwell: Goodbye, Trench.
Sgt. Roberts: Goodbye, Harry.
[Harry stops and looks after Roberts. Freeze frame. This is the last Harry O episode to be filmed]

"Harry O: Forty Reasons to Kill: Part 2 (#1.12)" (1974)
Harry Orwell: When I was a cop I spent a lot of time around jails but never in one. I was beginning to understand how the bad guys felt. Stone walls do not a prison make, a poet once wrote, nor iron bars a cage. He was wrong.

"Harry O: Such Dust as Dreams Are Made On (#1.0)" (1973)
Harry Orwell: How old are you?
Girl Clerk: 19
Harry Orwell: You ever go fishing?
Girl Clerk: I'd love to.
Harry Orwell: Sometimes when you go fishing you catch a little fish.
Girl Clerk: Hmmm
Harry Orwell: You can't keep those; you gotta throw 'em back.
Harry Orwell: If they're too young.
Girl Clerk: You have to?
Harry Orwell: [Nods slightly] It's a pity.

"Harry O: Death Certificate (#2.22)" (1976)
[last lines]
Harry Orwell: How do you itemize $237.10? Well that's the price they charged me for the stone and to carve, "Here lies the man Harry Orwell owes."

"Harry O: Lester Two (#2.3)" (1975)
Harry Orwell: You live at the beach because on a good day it's the best place in the world to live. Even on a bad day, it's as good as any other place.

"Harry O: Exercise in Fatality (#2.12)" (1975)
Harry Orwell: [Harry arrives home to find a woman asleep on his couch] I'll admit I was surprised because I never really expected to see Julie Wilson again. She left Thursday. When I got home all of her things were gone. She didn't even bother to leave a note. The interesting part was that Thursday was nearly two years ago.

"Harry O: Portrait of a Murder (#2.5)" (1975)
[first lines]
Harry Orwell: I got a call at 7 a.m. His name was Kershaw and he worked for the Department of Motor Vehicles. He wanted to see me immediately. That sounded like trouble. Then he asked if I could come to his home. That made him sound like a client.