Charles Ingalls
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Quotes for
Charles Ingalls (Character)
from "Little House on the Prairie" (1974)

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"Little House on the Prairie: Little House on the Prairie (#1.0)" (1974)
Charles Ingalls: We thank you Lord for bringing our dear friend back to us.

Charles Ingalls: Hear that?
Laura Ingalls: Hear what, Pa?
Charles Ingalls: Stars... Singing Hallelujah!

Charles Ingalls: Look at it. Just look at it. Green and rich. There will be waters in those foothills and trees. We're home, Caroline. We're home!

Caroline Ingalls: My home is where you are. And you are the children are my family.
Charles Ingalls: Caroline Ingalls, I love you.

Caroline Ingalls: What is it?
Charles Ingalls: We have to get out.
Caroline Ingalls: What?
Charles Ingalls: Yeah. The Kansas Tribe petitioned Washington. We have to get out.
Caroline Ingalls: I don't understand.
Charles Ingalls: The government drew a new line and we're on the wrong side, so we have to go.
Charles Ingalls: Those blasted politicians in Washington hadn't just said all of Kansas wasn't opened up, we would have never settled here!

Charles Ingalls: The Bible says 'Thou shalt not argue before breakfast.
Caroline Ingalls: It's not in the Bible, Charles.
Charles Ingalls: Well, it oughta be.

Isaiah Edwards: Well, you may say I made his acquaintance when I came out of the saloon... uh... when I was coming out of the hotel in Independence.
Charles Ingalls: Independence? You went all the way to Independence in this blizzard? You gotta be mad!
Isaiah Edwards: Well, that's been said before. Well anyway, there he was. There he was just a standing there with his pack mule.
Laura Ingalls: Reindeer!
Isaiah Edwards: Well, he uses a pack mule out here. It's more practical. Well, I recognized him right away. Recognized him by his big, white beard and big, round belly. Although he wasn't jolly enough to be doing any ho ho hoing. Well the ol' gent, you see, he just... he just brightened right up when he seen me. 'Hello Edwards,' he says. He says you remember them pair of red mittens I give you when you was just a sprig in Tennessee? ' 'Ohhhhh... kept me warm many winters!' says I. He says uh... hear you're living down on the Vertical River now. Yeah. He says you don't happen to know them Ingalls girls, do ya?
Laura Ingalls: And you said yes!
Isaiah Edwards: Sure did, right away! Well, to make a long story short, Ol' Santa says he's mighty worried about being able to cross the street with the weather being bad and him not being so spry anymore. So he asked me to fetch those presents to you.

"Little House on the Prairie: The Lord Is My Shepherd: Part 1 (#1.13)" (1974)
Charles: He's in Heaven, child. It's God's will.

Charles: Aren't you going to eat something?
Caroline: Carrie already had hers and... I'm not hungry.
Charles: You hardly eat enough to keep a bird alive.
Caroline: I'll gain weight soon enough. All women do.
Charles: Don't tell me you're worried about gaining weight. You take after your mother. There's no way your going to gain any.
Caroline: There's one way.
Charles: Where if there is, i'd sure like to know...

Charles: I just feel funny calling the baby an 'it.' I mean, don't you think you'd feel a little put out if somebody kept calling you 'it?'
Caroline: I'd feel worse, Charles, if I were a girl and somebody kept calling me a boy.

Charles: That's my son, Charles Ingalls, Jr.

Charles: But you know, the odds are we'll have a boy. We've had three girls.
Caroline: Remember the Stevenson's in Wisconsin?
Charles: Mm hm.
Caroline: Eleven girls.
Charles: Ah...
Caroline: I'll do my best.

Caroline: [after a insulting remark by Mrs. Olsen] That woman is...
Charles: [interrupting] Uh uh Caroline, it's Sunday
Caroline: She makes it very hard to have a Christian feeling.
Charles: [laughing] Well if you can't pray for her at least pray for her husband.

"Little House on the Prairie: The Inheritance (#4.18)" (1978)
Caroline Ingalls: If you must know, it's for your birthday.
Charles Ingalls: My birth... It's three weeks away!
Caroline Ingalls: Charles, you're worse than the girls.
Charles Ingalls: Alright. It doesn't matter to me.
[Picks up the present he got for Caroline]
Charles Ingalls: Of course, I bought a few groceries myself.
[Caroline gasps]
Charles Ingalls: For your birthday. I only have to work three weeks, you have to wait three months.
Caroline Ingalls: Charles, that's not fair!
Charles Ingalls: What's fair for me is fair for you...

Charles Ingalls: You want them to pity us and then feel happy for us.
Harvey Woods: Exactly. And look at you. Look at this farm. You're prosperous!
Charles Ingalls: Well I'm sorry that we're not as poor as you'd hoped!

Lars Hanson: Charles, where are you going?
Charles Ingalls: I'm going home. I don't have to work anymore. Haven't you heard, I'm rich!

Jonathan Garvey: I bought your farm.
Charles Ingalls: I would have felt a lot better if a stranger had bought it, Jonathan.
Jonathan Garvey: I couldn't turn it down, Charles. I only had to pay two cents for it.

Harriet Oleson: Caroline, I want to hear all about your husband's dear ol' Uncle Rich!
Charles Ingalls: Uh, his name was Ned.
Harriet Oleson: Oh, well whatever.
Charles Ingalls: You ladies have a good chat. I gotta get to work, Caroline. Bye.
Harriet Oleson: Now Caroline, I want to know all about your husband's dear ol' Uncle Rich.
Charles Ingalls: Ned.
Harriet Oleson: Oh yes...

"Little House on the Prairie: Survival (#1.22)" (1975)
Marshal Anders: If I were you folks, I'd start looking for shelter. There's a blizzard coming.
Charles Ingalls: A storm, maybe. It's a little late in the year for a blizzard.
Marshal Anders: Well now, you call it what you want to, Mister. But that's a blizzard wind. Both of my feet have been frostbit twice. They tell me when a bad one's coming. And they're telling me now.

Caroline Ingalls: Murder, you keep saying that. Who did he murder?
Marshal Anders: Who? He was one of the Sioux Chiefs in the '62 uprising, tried and convicted and sentenced to hang!
Charles Ingalls: Then why didn't he?
Marshal Anders: Well, Abe Lincoln! He stuck his nose into it. He called them... Sioux Warriors. They believed in what they were fighting for so he pardoned the whole bunch of them!
Charles Ingalls: No different then the men in Confederate uniforms who fought for what they believe in.
Marshal Anders: That was different!
Charles Ingalls: President Lincoln didn't think so.

Charles Ingalls: People like you have taken almost everything from that man. His freedom. His land. Almost his life. Don't tell me you're sorry. Tell him.

Marshal Anders: Ingalls, next time I tell you there's gonna be a blizzard, maybe you'll believe me.
Charles Ingalls: I will. Even if it's the Fourth of July.

Charles Ingalls: What'd this Lame Horse do?
Marshal Anders: He got borned.
Charles Ingalls: He calls the Indian a savage...

"Little House on the Prairie: The Pride of Walnut Grove (#2.14)" (1976)
Charles Ingalls: If doing without makes a woman stronger, you must be one of the strongest women in Minnesota.

Lars Hanson: We called a special meeting of the school board tonight.
Charles Ingalls: No one told me.
Lars Hanson: Yeah, well we figured it was better that way. You can be pretty stubborn at times, Charles.

Lars Hanson: We have a lot of pride here in Walnut Grove. And a thing like this doesn't happen very often. And the school board voted unanimously to give the money needed for the trip.
Charles Ingalls: Well, that's very kind of you, but I'm sorry...
Eva Beadle: It's not a matter of kindness, Mr. Ingalls. Believe me, there are a lot of children who go to the finals sponsored by their home towns.
Lars Hanson: How often do we get the chance to get the name Walnut Grove in the newspapers all over the state?
Eva Beadle: It's for the pride of Walnut Grove.

Laura Ingalls: Well, I'm feeling kinda jealous again.
Charles Ingalls: Jealous? What for?
Laura Ingalls: Well, I'm feeling kinda useless. I guess I'll get over it when I grow up.

Charles Ingalls: They're pretty proud of you anyway.
Mary Ingalls: You mean even though I came in second best?
Charles Ingalls: We're proud because you ARE the best!

Little House: The Last Farewell (1984) (TV)
Customer: Do you mind? We're trying to enjoy our supper.
Charles Ingalls: Yeah, well do you mind? I'm trying to have an argument with my wife!
Customer: How would you like to step outside?
Charles Ingalls: Well, that's fine with me!
Caroline Ingalls: Charles!
Charles Ingalls: Don't worry. This will just take a minute.
[Next scene: Caroline is carrying in a steak for his black eye]

Caroline Ingalls: Oh Charles, there's that old Oak tree you fell out of, remember?
Charles Ingalls: How could I forget? I fell out of it going after that silly kite!

Laura Ingalls Wilder: I don't understand any of you! No piece of land is worth losing your life over!
Charles Ingalls: You're right. You don't understand.

Charles Ingalls: I talked to Almanzo. He'd like to go back with us, till they get another homestead together. Poor boy cried like a baby.
Caroline Ingalls: He isn't the first one to have to leave and start all over. They'll make it. We did!
Charles Ingalls: That's right, we did.

"Little House on the Prairie: The Richest Man in Walnut Grove (#2.1)" (1975)
Laura: My tablets only half used, and my pencil's plenty long!
Charles Ingalls: Well, it wouldn't be if you worked as hard as your sister.

Charles Ingalls: She's not going to be nice about it.
Caroline Ingalls: I hope she isn't. If she were nice about it, I'd have to like her. And that would ruin my whole day.

Harriet Oleson: Pride cometh before destruction; and a haughty spirit before a fall! Proverbs 16:18!
Charles Ingalls: Correction. It is pride GOETH before destruction, Mrs. Olsen. And as for the rest of it, I'd fall in the Grand Canyon before I let my wife go begging to you!

Charles Ingalls: Look at you.
Caroline Ingalls: I must be a sight.
Charles Ingalls: You are. Your face is dirty, your hair's all askew, and your still the prettiest woman a man ever set his eyes on. The only thing I regret about being married to you is that I'll never have the joy of asking you to be my wife again.

"Little House on the Prairie: A Harvest of Friends (#1.1)" (1974)
Charles Ingalls: Well, Ingalls family, as soon as you finish soaking your feet, we've got a wagon to unload.
Caroline Ingalls: We're home?
Charles Ingalls: We're home.

Laura Ingalls: And I've decided something.
Charles Ingalls: What's that, Half pint?
Laura Ingalls: Home is the nicest word there is.
Charles Ingalls: One of the nicest, that's for sure!

Harriet Oleson: Mr. Ingalls, do you know how many people move out here and plant their crops and run up more bills then they can hope to pay for, then skip out in the dead of night? Hm? Now, I can show you a hole drawer full...
Charles Ingalls: Mrs. Olson, I can assure you I have no intention of running out in the middle of the night. Thank you.

Caroline Ingalls: Charles Ingalls!
Charles Ingalls: Caroline? Oh, you're back already, huh?
Caroline Ingalls: Earlier than expected, obviously.
Charles Ingalls: What are you talking about?
Caroline Ingalls: You couldn't stay awake to go to church and here you are working.
Charles Ingalls: Oh now Caroline, I woke up and you were gone. I couldn't just sit around the house doing nothing.
Caroline Ingalls: Charles, the Lord's day is set aside for worship and for rest.
Charles Ingalls: Caroline, now I got a field to plow and God ain't gonna plow it for me.
Caroline Ingalls: That is sacrilegious!
Charles Ingalls: Well to you, maybe, but not to God. He understands famrers.

"Little House on the Prairie: A Promise to Keep (#8.19)" (1982)
Caroline Ingalls: Why didn't Isaiah take him to a doctor in Sleepy Eye?
Charles Ingalls: Because he was drunk. Because he was drunk and he panicked.

Charles Ingalls: Go away, Isaiah. I don't want you near me or my family again.

Charles Ingalls: I'd like to ask you to forgive me.
Isaiah Edwards: Me? Forgive you?
Charles Ingalls: I love you, friend. I miss you so...
Isaiah Edwards: I miss you too, Charles.

"Little House on the Prairie: Christmas at Plum Creek (#1.15)" (1974)
Laura: Pa, can I ride Bunny into town instead of riding in the wagon?
Charles: I guess so, but is that because you feel like riding or because you want to make Nellie jealous?
Laura: [pause] A little of both, I guess.

Laura: I hate that Nellie Olsen!
Caroline Ingalls: Laura! Don't say hate. Don't even think hate! I know you're angry but try and understand. I'm sure Nellie must have some fine qualities in her.
Charles: You're mother's right. And on the way home, we'll try to think of one.

Charles: Well, the prices are going up.
Harriet Oleson: Of course, Mr. Ingalls. It's Christmas.
Charles: Did the price of eggs go up too?
Harriet Oleson: Of course not!
Charles: Now I know what Dickens was talking about when he wrote about Ebenezer Scrooge.
Caroline Ingalls: Charles Ingalls!

Little House: Look Back to Yesterday (1983) (TV)
Charles Ingalls: You think I've got a chance?
Albert Ingalls: Hey, you're an Ingalls! Of course you've got a chance!

Doctor Houser: Mr. Ingalls, Albert is a very sick young man. I'm afraid he has a blood disorder which is... well, it's causing him to lose strength.
Charles Ingalls: I see. How long? How long will the treatments take before we can get him back on his feet?
Doctor Houser: Mr. Ingalls, I'm sorry, but uh... Well, there is no treatment. Albert's not going to get any better - only worse.

Charles Ingalls: It may sound strange to you, Mr. Hall, but Albert wants to become a doctor so he can help people.

"Little House on the Prairie: The Wisdom of Solomon (#3.18)" (1977)
Charles Ingalls: Well Solomon, this paper is dated 1854. That's a long time ago. Folks can't sell themselves anymore.
Solomon Henry: Who says?
Charles Ingalls: Well, I know that Walnut Grove must seem like the end of the world, but even we have heard of the Emancipation Proclamation.

Harriet Oleson: I am a member of the school board, Mr. Ingalls, and I want to remind you that no child can attend this school unless is family is a member of this Township.
Charles Ingalls: Oh, I understand that, Mrs. Olsen.
Harriet Oleson: Oh. Well, but the boy said that his family doesn't live here.
Charles Ingalls: Oh, I know he said that, but he was just saying that to make things easier on me.
Harriet Oleson: Oh?
Charles Ingalls: Yeah, you see Solomon is my son by former marriage. I know you'd understand, but a lot of people in this town wouldn't. Good day.

Solomon Henry: You answer me something, Sir. Would you like to live to be a hundred?
Charles Ingalls: I'm sure. It's not very likely, but I guess all of us want to live to be a right-old age.
Solomon Henry: Would you rather be black and live to be a hundred, or white and live to be fifty?

"Little House on the Prairie: Four Eyes (#2.2)" (1975)
Charles Ingalls: Where's your sister this morning?
Laura Ingalls: Mary's not speaking to me.
Charles Ingalls: Got up on the wrong side of the bed, huh?
Laura Ingalls: No, we switched back to our regular sides.

Mary Ingalls: You know Pa, I just love my glasses.
Charles Ingalls: Well, I just love you.

Mary Ingalls: Pa, if I don't find my glasses you don't have to buy me another pair.
Charles Ingalls: What kind of thing is that to say?
Mary Ingalls: I don't deserve another pair. I lost them. It was my fault.
Charles Ingalls: Everybody makes mistakes, Mary.
Mary Ingalls: You told me not to take them off and I did. I don't think I should be allowed to have another pair.

"Little House on the Prairie: Fred (#3.8)" (1976)
Laura Ingalls: I guess I just sort of feel sorry for Fred.
Charles Ingalls: Sorry for Fred? What about me? I didn't butt Fred!
Laura Ingalls: Well what I mean is... well... maybe Fred thought he was doing a good thing. Maybe he thought you were a robber and he was protecting the barn.

Laura Ingalls: Pa, do you know that Fred is a very special goat? He's the last of his kind.
Charles Ingalls: I surely hope so.

Caroline Ingalls: That was a fiery sermon the Reverend preached this morning.
Charles Ingalls: Yes indeed. "The wages of sin." Really got the folks stirred up.
Caroline Ingalls: Guess he changed his mind. He said he was going to talk about "Love all creatures great and small."

"Little House on the Prairie: The Long Road Home (#2.18)" (1976)
Charles Ingalls: Thought you could use some firewood for the stove to keep you and the other passengers warm.
Conductor: Well now, ain't that nice. That's real nice. But you're still gonna have to ride on the flatcar with the rest of the hired help.

Isaiah Edwards: I guess you better write something for me. Let's see now... uh... Feel funny saying it to you.
Charles Ingalls: Come on. Dear Grace, that's an easy way to start.
Isaiah Edwards: Alright, dear grace. Uh... Tell her everything's fun and give the young one's a kiss and uh...
Charles Ingalls: And?
Isaiah Edwards: And I love her. Don't sit there grinning like a cat in a birdhouse. Write it down.

Isaiah Edwards: Better get a good night's sleep. I have a feeling the next ten days will feel like an eternity.
Charles Ingalls: Just might be.
Isaiah Edwards: Huh...

"Little House on the Prairie: The Camp-Out (#2.9)" (1975)
Harriet Oleson: I'll carry the pack with the tea service in it myself.
Charles Ingalls: Tea service?
Nels Oleson: That's what I've been trying to tell ya. Harriet decided to come along.
Charles Ingalls: Caroline, I think we left something in the barn.

Nels Oleson: The way she's always fussing over the children all the time... She's wants them to have everything she didn't have when she was a child.
Charles Ingalls: Well, you can't blame her for that.
Nels Oleson: Oh yes I can. She had everything when she was a child.
Charles Ingalls: Nels, you're alright!

[Charles just learned from Nels that Harriet decided to tag along for the camping trip and asked Caroline to meet him in the barn]
Charles Ingalls: All right, now, I won't do it. I will not go on a tip with that woman.
Caroline Ingalls: But everybody's ready. We can't just go off and leave her standing here.
Charles Ingalls: Well, then there won't be any trip. Now you go out, tell them I broke my leg, tell them anything. I'm not gonna go.
Caroline Ingalls: You'll miss your fishing.
Charles Ingalls: Fishing? With that woman on the trip, there won't be a fish biting for nine miles in any direction.

"Little House on the Prairie: Mr. Edward's Homecoming (#1.4)" (1974)
Isaiah Edwards: I'd just as soon be drunk than drowned!
Charles Ingalls: Right now, I'd say you're half and half.

Charles Ingalls: What did you girls learn in Sunday School today?
Mary Ingalls: Susan Zigler passed a note to Freddie Hoffman. And it made Amanda Butterfield jealous.
Charles Ingalls: I mean about religion.
Mary Ingalls: Oh.

"Little House on the Prairie: Remember Me: Part 2 (#2.8)" (1975)
Caroline Ingalls: You said you didn't want to split up the children.
Charles Ingalls: That's right, I don't.
Caroline Ingalls: But you're thinking about it now.
Charles Ingalls: I have to. I don't have a choice anymore.
Caroline Ingalls: Charles...
Charles Ingalls: What, you think this is way I want it? I wish to heaven I could take those children, but I can't! I can barely put shoes on my own girls. This is the first time in my life I wished I was rich.

Charles Ingalls: You think I'm wrong?
Isaiah Edwards: Yeah, I think you're wrong. You've always had a family. You don't know what it's like to be alone. Well, I do. I lost my wife and daughter... a part of me died too, and that part of me ain't never gonna come to life again. Oh, I know. Happy go lucky Mr. Edwards to all you folks. Just having fun and laughing all the time - just like them young one's laughing now. Let me tell you something. It's different when you're alone. When you lie in bed at night and listen to the silence and you pray to God y ou can hear the sound of your loved one sleeping. Alright... You made your choice. Just don't expect me to tell you it's right.
Charles Ingalls: And don't expect me to tell you you're right. You made your choice. You want to be alone.

"Little House on the Prairie: The Talking Machine (#2.13)" (1976)
Charles Ingalls: You know we have a lot of funny notions born inside of us, Half-Pint. The funniest is that we're supposed to hide the way we feel about people. Let me tell you, everybody wants to know that they are loved, or needed, or cared about. Anybody who doesn't want to know that has something wrong with them.

Charles Ingalls: Where's Laura?
Mary Ingalls: She said she was going to be late.
Charles Ingalls: How come? She get a bad grade on a test again?
Mary Ingalls: No, she's in love with a scientist.

"Little House on the Prairie: Days of Sunshine, Days of Shadow: Part 1 (#8.17)" (1982)
Almanzo James Wilder: How many times do I have to tell you guys before you accept the fact that I'm not going to work? Do you think I want to be in this chair?
Charles Ingalls: I'm beginning to wonder.

Charles Ingalls: Your never alone, Half Pint. Not ever.

"Little House on the Prairie: Plague (#1.18)" (1975)
Laura Ingalls: Well, Nellie and Willie eat candy all the time - even for lunch sometimes. Their teeth are fine.
Mary Ingalls: I know Willis' teeth are. He bit me once!
Charles Ingalls: He bit you?
Mary Ingalls: Uh huh.
Charles Ingalls: Well, if he does it again, I want you to cuff him good!
Caroline Ingalls: Charles.
Charles Ingalls: I don't like that. I don't want any biting. He needs a lesson.
Caroline Ingalls: Your father's right. If he bites you again, cuff him good.
Mary Ingalls: I already did.

Caroline Ingalls: I didn't want to say anything in front of Carrie.
Charles Ingalls: What's the matter?
Caroline Ingalls: Well I was reading her a story last night and uh... it was about a rabbit... and uh... she started to cry and said she loves rabbits and doesn't think we should eat them.
Charles Ingalls: [laughs] Alright. If that's all I can get, I'll keep it a secret.

"Little House on the Prairie: Freedom Flight (#4.13)" (1977)
Charles Ingalls: They may be ignorant savages, MacGregor, but they did manage to give you the slip, didn't they?

Laura Ingalls: When can I play with the little girl, Pa?
Charles Ingalls: I'm afraid you can't, at least, not outside.
Mary Ingalls: Who'd want to? I mean they're all nothin' but heathens!
Charles Ingalls: Mary, they may not read the same Bible we do, or worship God in the same way, but they are His children too.

"Little House on the Prairie: There's No Place Like Home: Part 2 (#5.6)" (1978)
Harriet Oleson: Good Heavens, how long is he going to ring that bell?
Charles Ingalls: He wants to make sure everyone in the countryside hears it.
Harriet Oleson: Well, he can ring it long enough to wake the devil...
Nels Oleson: It woke you, dear.

Charles Ingalls: What was I supposed to do? Ask him to come with us?
Caroline Ingalls: That's what you wanted to do, wasn't it?
Charles Ingalls: What sense would that make? We've enough to do raising our own children. It wouldn't be fair to you or the girls.
Caroline Ingalls: Now just a minute, Charles Ingalls. Don't turn this around on the women in your family. We've always managed quite well. I think men tell their women folk that things wouldn't be fair to them because they don't want to shoulder the responsibility themselves. Now, if you don't think you can handle it, just think so.

"Little House on the Prairie: The Raccoon (#1.10)" (1974)
Laura Ingalls: He got lonesome out there, pa. He didn't know anyone. I'm the only one he's got. What are you gonna do, Pa?
Charles Ingalls: I'm gonna build him a cage.

Charles Ingalls: ...No more arguing about it. Just take him outside, play with him for a little while, then turn him loose in the woods where he blongs.
Mary Ingalls: Pa, he's just a baby!
Laura Ingalls: Like Carrie. You wouldn't leave Carrie out in the woods, would ya?

"Little House on the Prairie: Wilder and Wilder (#6.20)" (1980)
Charles Ingalls: Laura, I can't tell you how tired I am of hearing about Almanzo!

Almanzo James Wilder: That sure is a grown up young lady you got there.
Charles Ingalls: Not so grown up.

"Little House on the Prairie: He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not: Part 1 (#6.23)" (1980)
Almanzo James Wilder: Mr. Ingalls... Mrs. Ingalls... I uh... I've been working real hard at the Feed & Seed.
Charles Ingalls: Well, I work pretty hard at the meal myself, but Caroline doesn't generally make me a special supper and take off work because of it.
Almanzo James Wilder: Oh not that. That's not a surprise. I uh... I got a raise.
Charles Ingalls: Oh, congratulations! I'm proud of ya.
Almanzo James Wilder: I was hoping you would because I want to marry your daughter.
Charles Ingalls: Well I uh... I have to be honest with you, son. That doesn't come as a big surprise to me.
Almanzo James Wilder: Next month.
Charles Ingalls: that does.

Charles Ingalls: Sure wish I knew where he
Charles Ingalls: is, I'd give him a good thrashing.
Caroline Ingalls: He's in sleepy Eye.
Charles Ingalls: Hm?
Caroline Ingalls: He's in Sleepy eye. He wrote to his sister and made her promise not to tell Laura.
Charles Ingalls: You're sending her to Sleepy Eye when you know he's in Sleepy Eye?
Caroline Ingalls: Mm hm.
Charles Ingalls: Caroline, I don't understand you.
Caroline Ingalls: I know.

"Little House on the Prairie: Times Are Changing: Part 1 (#9.1)" (1982)
Laura Ingalls Wilder: I remember when we first moved in. I was so excited to get to sleep up in the loft. My very own window.
Charles Ingalls: I remember it too. You were such a baby then.
Laura Ingalls Wilder: With big buck teeth.

Charles Ingalls: Watch over my family for me.
Isaiah Edwards: You know I will. Glad you asked me.

"Little House on the Prairie: In the Big Inning (#2.4)" (1975)
Isaiah Edwards: Find the ball?
Charles Ingalls: Yeah.
Isaiah Edwards: Well good, then all I swallowed is my tobacco.

Charles Ingalls: Even Reverend Alden came up with a name. The Walnut Grove Heavenly Hosts. Can you imagine sewing all those letters on my shirt?
Caroline Ingalls: I'm surprised at Reverent Alden coming up with a name like that. Seems sacrilegious.
Charles Ingalls: Not if we win.

"Little House on the Prairie: The Halloween Dream (#6.7)" (1979)
Charles Ingalls: Well you either look like a small chief...
Albert Quinn Ingalls: Or a big chicken, Ma already said that.

Charles Ingalls: [carving a jack-o-lantern] We already got 2 candles in there, let's see if we can make it 3.

"Little House on the Prairie: Country Girls (#1.2)" (1974)
Carrie Ingalls: I want a new dress for my dolly.
Charles Philip Ingalls: [laughs] You'll get one, sweetheart.

Laura Ingalls: Pa, hat, h-a-t, hat.
Charles Philip Ingalls: B-e-d, bed!

"Little House on the Prairie: Sweet Sixteen (#6.22)" (1980)
Charles Ingalls: Well, at least my daughter's showing a little good common sense, huh?
Caroline Ingalls: Your daughter... And I supposed that if she said 'Yes Almanzo, I'd love to go to the church social with you,' she would've been my daughter.
Charles Ingalls: Right.

Charles Ingalls: I have a terrible feeling I'm about to lose a daughter.
Caroline Ingalls: I hope so. Well... I'm dying to call you grandpa.
Charles Ingalls: Same to you, Grandma!

"Little House on the Prairie: The Love of Johnny Johnson (#1.5)" (1974)
Caroline Ingalls: Well Charles, I can remember chasing somebody when I was younger than Laura is.
Charles Ingalls: I even remember slowing down so you can catch me.

Charles Ingalls: Well, I don't like him.
Caroline Ingalls: Why Charles Ingalls, you said yourself what a nice boy he is!
Charles Ingalls: Well, that's when I thought he was a boy! He's fifteen years old, Caroline. He's not a boy anymore. That's a man! Do you know what a fellow's like when he's fifteen years old?
Caroline Ingalls: No Charles, you tell me. What were you like when you were fifteen?
Charles Ingalls: I'll go see to the stock.

"Little House on the Prairie: As Long as We're Together: Part 2 (#5.2)" (1978)
Mary Ingalls: [Charles walks into the room all busted up after a fight] Pa, I was afraid you'd get in a fight with those two men.
Charles Ingalls: You don't have to worry about me. I'm a farmer, not a fighter.
Jonathan Garvey: You can say that again.

Laura Ingalls: Did you ever hear anyone ever make up an excuse like that?
Charles Ingalls: Mm hm. Yeah. You.

"Little House on the Prairie: Remember Me: Part 1 (#2.7)" (1975)
Julia Sanderson: Charles... I'm gonna die.
Charles: [shocked] What?
Julia Sanderson: I'm going to die. That's a heck of a thing to tell a neighbor, isn't it?

Charles: If you want some advice from a friend, I'd say marry that woman.
Isaiah Edwards: That's the trouble with friends. They're always trying to give you advice!

"Little House on the Prairie: Family Quarrel (#1.16)" (1975)
Charles Ingalls: Are you going to bring eggs to Mrs. Olsen tomorrow?
Caroline Ingalls: Of course, I always do.
Charles Ingalls: [laughs] Well, you better hard boil them.

Caroline Ingalls: There are times when I think men are the most senseless creatures in the world.
Charles Ingalls: Thank you.
Caroline Ingalls: Present company excepted, of course.
Charles Ingalls: What did the rest of these men do to upset you so much?
Caroline Ingalls: Someone... I think it was Dr. Baker... talked Mr. Hansen into making an attempt at courting Harriet Olsen.
Charles Ingalls: What?
Caroline Ingalls: I suppose to make Mr. Olsen so jealous, he'd come running back and take her in his arms.
Charles Ingalls: Well, what did Mrs. Olsen think about that?
Caroline Ingalls: Well, what any decent women would think. She was shocked. She was so shocked she... sh...
Charles Ingalls: She what?
Caroline Ingalls: She threw a whole scoop of flour on him.
Charles Ingalls: Oh, was she out of eggs?

"Little House on the Prairie: Back to School: Part 1 (#6.1)" (1979)
Charles Ingalls: What are you dressed for? A wedding or a funeral?
Laura: [Giggles]
Albert Quinn Ingalls: Ah, I just thought I should look nice for the first day back to school.
Laura: That's not the reason and you know it!
Albert Quinn Ingalls: It is too!
Laura: Mm mm... He's so sure the new teacher's gonna be pretty, he's in love with her already!

Charles Ingalls: Caroline, doing dishes is not a man's work.
Caroline Ingalls: Charles, don't be sacrilegious.
Charles Ingalls: I'm not!
Caroline Ingalls: Then you do believe in the Bible.
Charles Ingalls: Well, of course I believe in the Bible! What's that got to do with dishes?
Caroline Ingalls: 2 Kings 21:13: 'And I will wipe Jerusalem as a man wipeth a dish, wiping it and turning it upside down.' Bible's by the bed. You can look it up.

"Little House on the Prairie: Home Again: Part 1 (#9.16)" (1983)
Charles Ingalls: Albert, what you want and what's going to be are two entirely different things.
Albert Quinn Ingalls: I won't go!
Charles Ingalls: You'll do what I say!
Albert Quinn Ingalls: And if I don't?
Charles Ingalls: If you don't, then I'll ask Mr. Gibson to change his mind and press charges against you.
Albert Quinn Ingalls: You'd do that?
Charles Ingalls: I'd have to do that. I am not going to sit back and watch you destroy your life and your Mother's and Mine. I'm not going to do that. You're not the only one in this family. You're hurting all of us and I'm not going to let it happen anymore.

Sergeant Bates: These boys, they don't want to change.
Charles Ingalls: My boy has already changed.
Sergeant Bates: What do you mean?
Charles Ingalls: He changed when he came to the city.

"Little House on the Prairie: Laura Ingalls Wilder: Part 2 (#7.2)" (1980)
Almanzo James Wilder: Mr. Ingalls, no disrespect, but do you have any idea what your daughter's like?
Charles Ingalls: I think so, she's a lot like me.
Almanzo James Wilder: Well again, no disrespect so, but that must be mighty hard on Mrs. Ingalls.

Charles Ingalls: Do you know what the word positive means? That means wrong at the top of your voice.

"Little House on the Prairie: Child of Pain (#1.20)" (1975)
Charles Ingalls: There's no doubt that boy needs help.
Dr. Hiram Baker: His father needs help too.
Charles Ingalls: Well, maybe you're a better Christian than I am, Doc. I don't care about his father. I just care about the boy.

Charles Ingalls: I sure miss my wife. When'd you loose yours?
John Stewart: A long time ago.
Charles Ingalls: What was her name?
John Stewart: Lucy.
Charles Ingalls: How'd she die?
John Stewart: What's the difference?
Charles Ingalls: Nothing to me, I just wondered... What'd she die of?
John Stewart: She died giving birth to the boy.
Charles Ingalls: I guess that's why you blame him for her death.
John Stewart: Why I what?
Charles Ingalls: Why you blame the boy for his mother's death.
John Stewart: I don't do that.
Charles Ingalls: Sure you do. You tell him that every time you beat him. You say he is why his mother died.

"Little House on the Prairie: The High Cost of Being Right (#4.9)" (1977)
Laura Ingalls: Why do people get divorced?
Charles Ingalls: I don't know, lots of reasons I guess. I don't think we even know anybody that's been divorced.
Laura Ingalls: I wish we still didn't.

Charles Ingalls: [Charles burst out laughing in the middle of the Garvey's argument during divorce court]
Jonathan Garvey: You better tell me why you're laughing!
Charles Ingalls: He says that she says that he said she said... You didn't... She didn't say you were crazy, you said you were crazy.
Jonathan Garvey: Well, what did she say?
Charles Ingalls: [Still laughing uncontrollably] I don't know what she said.
Jonathan Garvey: [Charles' laughter is catching. Soon, they are all laughing about it. Suddenly, the Garvey's are in each other's arms, still laughing]
Judge Picker: [bangs his gavel] I want everyone to remain very calm.
[laughter continues]
Judge Picker: I only want to know... are we... or are we not getting a divorce?
Jonathan Garvey: Well... I don't know? Are you?
Jonathan Garvey: [Increased laughter]
Judge Picker: Mr. Garvey, I'm going to concur with the general census. Your wife did not tell you your crazy... But I am! I'm telling all of ya... Your crazy!

"Little House on the Prairie: Town Party-Country Party (#1.7)" (1974)
Nellie Oleson: Well I'm not just fine! That pond's dangerous, Mr. Ingalls. It's got a crab that's that big! Come close to getting my whole toe bit off!
Nellie Oleson: .
Charles Ingalls: [Nods and gives Laura the eye] Now I wonder where Nellie got the idea that the crab could bite her toe off?
Laura Ingalls: I think it would be a good idea if we walk home a ways with our guests.
Charles Ingalls: Why don't you do that?

[last lines]
Jon Nordstrom: My mom is right. She has a fool for a son.
Charles Ingalls: You're right. She *did* have.

"Little House on the Prairie: Gold Country (#3.21)" (1977)
Isaiah Edwards: Listen here, I got this little bit of money here. I can take it in there and double it up. It wouldn't take me more than ten minutes.
Charles Ingalls: It wouldn't take you more than ten minutes to loose it.
Isaiah Edwards: Oh, at least let's go in and take a look around.
Charles Ingalls: Oh, you go ahead. I'll tell Grace where you are. She'll be happy to hear about it.
Isaiah Edwards: Oh no. Hold it, hold it... Maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all.

Charles Ingalls: Say a little prayer for us.
Reverend Phillips: I doubt God spends too much time helping us look for gold, but I will say a prayer for your health and happiness.

"Little House on the Prairie: The In-laws (#7.9)" (1980)
Kavendish: Listen, if there was a shorter way to Sleepy Eye, why ain't there no road?
Charles Ingalls: You sound like my wife.
Kavendish: I'm surprised a man fellow like you could be married... to anybody with sense...

Charles Ingalls: Hey, you're ripping my face off!

"Little House on the Prairie: I'll Be Waving as You Drive Away: Part 1 (#4.21)" (1978)
Charles Ingalls: I pray and I pray. Why doesn't God listen?
Reverend Robert Alden: He listens, Charles. And He always answers our prayers. He doesn't always answer in the way that we want, but he always answers in a way that He thinks is best for each of us.
Charles Ingalls: How can taking the sight from a fifteen year old girl be the best thing?
Reverend Robert Alden: We're only finite. He's infinite in His wisdom. I can only tell you that there is a reason. Charles, believe me. God must have chosen Mary for some very special purpose.
Charles Ingalls: Tomorrow I have to tell my daughter that she's going blind. What should I tell her is that special purpose?

Charles Ingalls: I wanted to talk to you. See, your Mother and I have been hoping and... praying, but it was the scarlet fever and it weakened the nerves in your eyes.
Mary Ingalls Kendall: It'll get better, won't it, Pa? My eyes will be alright again.
Charles Ingalls: The doctor thinks that it'll get worse
Mary Ingalls Kendall: Pa?
Charles Ingalls: He uh... He feels that... your gradually going to lose your sight.
Mary Ingalls Kendall: Blind? I'm gonna be... blind?

"Little House on the Prairie: Back to School: Part 2 (#6.2)" (1979)
Harriet Oleson: Your Laura did this!
Caroline Ingalls: Laura?
Nellie Oleson: She attacked me! Tried to kill me!
Caroline Ingalls: Why?
Nellie Oleson: Because... I saw her and Almanzo Wilder kissing! And I told her I would tell.
Charles Ingalls: You... saw them... kissing?
Nellie Oleson: She's with him now! They rode off in his buckboard!
Charles Ingalls: They... they rode off in a buckboard, huh?
Nellie Oleson: Toward his place!
Charles Ingalls: Jonathan, I need a ride.
Caroline Ingalls: Charles, don't do anything in haste!
Charles Ingalls: Haste? Oh no Caroline, I'm not going to do anything in haste! I'm going to take all the time in the world while I beat Almanzo Wilder within an inch of his life!

Almanzo James Wilder: You don't think that I... Well, Beth's just a little girl.
Charles Ingalls: Mr. Wilder, I uh... I really owe you an apology. I'm very sorry.
Almanzo James Wilder: Yeah. So am I.
Charles Ingalls: My wife told me to not act in haste. I guess I should have listened to her.
Almanzo James Wilder: I understand. If I had a little girl, I'd have probably done the same.
Laura Ingalls: Will you both stop it! Stop calling me a little girl! And talking about me like I'm not even here! I'm a woman! A woman! And I hate all of you!

"Little House on the Prairie: Someone Please Love Me (#5.22)" (1979)
Gargan: I've never met the man but he has a reputation for fair dealing. That's why I don't trust him.
Charles Ingalls: Why not?
Gargan: Well, folks with good reputations can cheat from you a lot easier than folks with bad reputations. You understand?
Charles Ingalls: Sort of, yeah.

Charles Ingalls: You know, you don't love your wife. Your just afraid of being alone.
Bret Harper: I'm not afraid of being alone, Ingalls. I've spent the past four years working very hard at being alone.

"Little House on the Prairie: Troublemaker (#2.17)" (1976)
Charles Ingalls: [after he jarred Mr. Applewood, to the wall] You owe my wife, a thank you. She asked me, to be nice to you.
[Charles, snaps Applewood's stick in two, and storms off]

"Little House on the Prairie: The Voice of Tinker Jones (#1.11)" (1974)
Charles Ingalls: Grownups can be more stubborn.
Laura Ingalls: Why?
Charles Ingalls: Because they've had a lot more time to practice.

"Little House on the Prairie: Sylvia: Part 1 (#7.17)" (1981)
Charles Ingalls: It's just natural curiosity, Harriet - - boys will be boys, myself included - - all of us boys liked to go to the swimming holes to have a peep at the girls when they were frolicking in the water.
Harriet Oleson: Oh really? Well, I certainly don't remember any of the boys sneaking around the swimming hole when I was a girl.
Nels Oleson: THAT'S the truth!
Harriet Oleson: What was that?
Nels Oleson: I said, Charles is telling the truth. We do indeed need to show some leniency and understanding here.

"Little House on the Prairie: At the End of the Rainbow (#2.10)" (1975)
Laura Ingalls: Pa, is it wrong if a person is doing something for the good of her family if she doesn't come right out and say what it is?
Charles Ingalls: You mean like a surprise?
Laura Ingalls: Yeah.
Charles Ingalls: Well, you and I wouldn't know who this person is, would we?
Laura Ingalls: No fair asking.

"Little House on the Prairie: His Father's Son (#2.12)" (1976)
Mary Ingalls: How old do you have to be to be a poet?
Charles Ingalls: I don't know, any age.
Mary Ingalls: Do you have to college to be one?
Charles Ingalls: No. Emerson what about it in that book your bringing to John. He said there's two classes of poets. Poets by education and practice, those we respect; and poets by nature - those we love.
Mary Ingalls: The last one. That's John.
Charles Ingalls: Those we love.
Mary Ingalls: I gotta go. I'll be late!

"Little House on the Prairie: Dearest Albert, I'll Miss You (#7.8)" (1980)
Albert Quinn Ingalls: Can I call you Pa again?
Charles Ingalls: Yeah. But not in front of the conductor.

"Little House on the Prairie: I'll Ride the Wind (#3.12)" (1977)
John Sanderson Edwards: I love your daughter, Sir.
Charles Ingalls: So do I.
John Sanderson Edwards: But I want to marry her!

"Little House on the Prairie: Blind Journey: Part 1 (#5.12)" (1978)
Charles Ingalls: Adam, there's two things the blind should approach with cauthion: buzz saws and buying horses.

"Little House on the Prairie: The Gift (#2.11)" (1975)
Mary Ingalls: We just can't go to church today, Pa.
Laura Ingalls: We have Laran-gitis.
Charles Ingalls: You have what?
Mary Ingalls: Laran-gatas
Charles Ingalls: How long do you thing this... laran-gatas is gonna last?
Laura Ingalls: We need a few more hours to get over it, Pa.
Charles Ingalls: How about by the time your ma and me and Carrie get back from church. Will you feel better by then?
Mary Ingalls: I'm sure we will, Pa. We just have to get our strength back.
Charles Ingalls: Yeah. First of all, it's pronounced laryngitis. It means you can't talk...

"Little House on the Prairie: To Live with Fear: Part 1 (#3.16)" (1977)
Horace Benson: Mr. Ingalls, this hospital is for paying patients. This would hardly cover her bill.
Charles Ingalls: I know, Mr. Benson. That's why I'm giving you my personal note. I'm going to go home and sell the farm to pay the bill.
Horace Benson: I told you before, it isn't the policy of this hospital to extend credit...
Charles Ingalls: We're not talking about credit. We're talking about my daughter's life.
Horace Benson: I'm sorry, you don't understand...
Charles Ingalls: That's right, you don't understand, and you're not sorry.

"Little House on the Prairie: The Race (#3.3)" (1976)
Charles Ingalls: Half Pint, we can't save half a dollar we can't have. If we had enough money for shoes, I'd buy them for you and your sisters; not for some horse who can't pull his own weight around the farm, you understand?

"Little House on the Prairie: Men Will Be Boys (#5.10)" (1978)
Charles Ingalls: Now come on, clean out the coop.
Albert Quinn Ingalls: Do you have to do those kind of things when you come home from a days' work?
Charles Ingalls: Of course I don't!
Albert Quinn Ingalls: Why?
Charles Ingalls: Because it's different, that's why!
Albert Quinn Ingalls: In what way?
Charles Ingalls: Albert, try to understand. I'm supporting a family! I'm doing a man's work!
Albert Quinn Ingalls: Is chopping firewood a man's work?
Charles Ingalls: Yeah.
Albert Quinn Ingalls: Is clearing a pasture man's work?
Charles Ingalls: Yeah.
Albert Quinn Ingalls: Is plowing a field man's work?
Charles Ingalls: Of course it is.
Albert Quinn Ingalls: Well, that's what I've been doing. So if I can do the work of a man, I should have the right to be treated like one.
Charles Ingalls: Albert, I... I am the man around here and you do what I say. You want to work, work for me and I'll pay you.
Albert Quinn Ingalls: No. That would wreck everything!
Charles Ingalls: Why?
Albert Quinn Ingalls: Because it's an allowance. And allowances are for kids.
Charles Ingalls: Well, what are you?
Albert Quinn Ingalls: I'm a man, and you just said so.
Charles Ingalls: I did not.
Albert Quinn Ingalls: You said a man chops wood, clears and plows...
Charles Ingalls: Clean the coop, Albert! Just clean the coop!
Albert Quinn Ingalls: Grownups! Whenver they're wrong, they yell at you!
Charles Ingalls: Just clean the coop!

"Little House on the Prairie: Oleson vs Oleson (#7.12)" (1981)
Caroline Ingalls: I just hate to think that at any time my husband can at any time take anything that's mine!
Charles Ingalls: Well my darling, if that's what's bothering you, we can just take everything we have, split it up, and put our names on it. Caroline gets the brush, Charles gets the suspenders. Caroline gets the Bible... Well, smile a little bit. It's just a joke.
Caroline Ingalls: I don't think it's funny.
Charles Ingalls: Alright.

"Little House on the Prairie: Journey in the Spring: Part 2 (#3.7)" (1976)
Laura Ingalls: We got a problem, Pa.
Charles Ingalls: What is it?
Laura Ingalls: Carrie and the turkey.
Charles Ingalls: Looks alright to me. He'll look even better in a couple weeks on the dinner table.
Laura Ingalls: Well, that's the problem. Carrie doesn't know he's gonna be ON the table. She thinks he's gonna be AT the table.

"Little House on the Prairie: Injun Kid (#3.15)" (1977)
Charles Ingalls: He's a boy, Jeremy. You love him, he's going to love you back. You reap what you sow.
Jeremy Stokes: It wasn't my idea to sow an Indian seed.
Charles Ingalls: Guess not. That was God's. Looks like you just don't want to agree with what God created.

"Little House on the Prairie: Whatever Happened to the Class of '56? (#6.15)" (1980)
Amy Phillips Sawyer: [Touching Charles' hands] You have nice hands. Gentle, but strong. I like that. So strong.
Charles Ingalls: That's from shoveling manure.

"Little House on the Prairie: The Lost Ones: Part 1 (#7.21)" (1981)
Albert Quinn Ingalls: The worst is the fighting.
Charles Ingalls: What fighting?
Albert Quinn Ingalls: The big over the little. It never seems to let up unless you can beat everybody else. I couldn't beat everybody else 'cause I was too little. I tried. By the time I ran away, I didn't trust anybody or anything. I don't have to tell you how I was. Anyway, that's what's gonna happen to them. Leastwise James.
Charles Ingalls: I'm gonna try to stop that train!

"Little House on the Prairie: The Spring Dance (#2.6)" (1975)
Laura Ingalls: We're having a Bible quiz in Sunday School
Charles Ingalls: I'll ask you a few questions to see if you can answer them. Where do they mention baseball in the Bible?
Laura Ingalls: Baseball? I didn't know they played baseball in the Bible.
Charles Ingalls: Mm hm. Very first line in the book of Genesis. In the big inning...
Caroline Ingalls: [admonishing tone] Charles.
Charles Ingalls: Let me try another one. Can you tell me what time of day God created Adam? Just before Eve.
[Blank look]
Charles Ingalls: Just before Eve...
[Still silence]
Charles Ingalls: I'm going outside to smoke my pipe.
[They hold their laughter until after he leaves]

"Little House on the Prairie: For My Lady (#2.19)" (1976)
Laura Ingalls: What's all that talking up there?
Charles Ingalls: We're just saying goodnight, Pa.
Laura Ingalls: The next thing I want to hear out of you is good morning!

"Little House on the Prairie: Going Home (#2.22)" (1976)
Charles Ingalls: I just realized something. I just made the decision to sell this place all by myself. I never even asked you. I made that decision all by myself.

"Little House on the Prairie: Castoffs (#4.1)" (1977)
Charles: Mr. Hanson was feeling poorly was he?
Nelson "Nels" Oleson: [after drinking the spiked water and obviously drunk] ya, ya He was dizzy, he was very diz he he ha ha ha
Charles: What's so funny?
Nelson "Nels" Oleson: I don't know.
Charles: Are you sure you're all right?
Nelson "Nels" Oleson: FINE AND DANDY! Trouble is I can't seem to get enough of this water.
Charles: Anyway I'll see you at the meeting.
Nelson "Nels" Oleson: What meeting?
Charles: The meeting at the church. We're going to decide whether to let kezia in the congregation or not.
Nelson "Nels" Oleson: O that meeting, I'll be there!
Charles: See you tonight.
Nelson "Nels" Oleson: [Loudly] YOU BET YA CHARLES!
[Charles looks confused and then gives a confused smile]

"Little House on the Prairie: To Run and Hide (#4.7)" (1977)
Dr. Hiram Baker: Can't you understand? I'm not a doctor anymore!
Charles Ingalls: Well, if you aren't a doctor, what are you? You're not a farmer, we know that.

"Little House on the Prairie: Circus Man (#1.19)" (1975)
Raven: Time to go! Time to go!
Charles Ingalls: I think the bird's right. Time to go to school!

"Little House on the Prairie: The Winoka Warriors (#5.3)" (1978)
Albert Quinn: I got a goal, Mr. Ingalls.
Charles Ingalls: Oh. Well now we're getting somewhere. What is it?
Albert Quinn: I want to be rich. Like Mr. Standish. Only, not as mean.
Charles Ingalls: Yeah. Well I guarantee ya Mr. Standish went to school.
Albert Quinn: Maybe that's what made him so mean.

"Little House on the Prairie: The Handyman (#4.4)" (1977)
Charles Ingalls: You'll never guess who told me you had somebody helping you out here.
Caroline Ingalls: Mrs. Olsen.
Charles Ingalls: Right. She came running out of the store when I got there. She told me he was about my age, a good looking guy and you were treating him just like one of the family.
Caroline Ingalls: What did you say?
Charles Ingalls: Well, I told her thank you very much for easing my mind. The old biddy, she thought she was going to make me jealous!

"Little House on the Prairie: Second Spring (#6.21)" (1980)
Charles Ingalls: I'm in the doghouse. I forgot my anniversary.
Nels Oleson: I wish I could forget mine.

"Little House on the Prairie: I Remember, I Remember (#4.16)" (1978)
Peter Ingalls: You should go apologize to her, that's what. Tell her you're a dummy, a real dummy!
Young Charles Ingalls: Okay.
[Walks up to Caroline]
Young Charles Ingalls: I'm sorry.
Young Caroline: For what?
Young Charles Ingalls: Because I'm a dummy.
Young Caroline: What?
Young Charles Ingalls: A real dummy.
Young Caroline: What makes you say that?
Young Charles Ingalls: My brother. Bye.
[Charles walks back over to Peter]
Peter Ingalls: So what did you say to her?
Young Charles Ingalls: What you told me to say. I'm sorry. I'm a dummy. A real dummy.
[after hearing Charles Ingalls' naive remark, his older brother, laughs hard before speaking back to Charles]
Peter Ingalls: Ahhhh... You just graduated from dummy to jackass!

"Little House on the Prairie: To See the World (#1.23)" (1975)
Charles Ingalls: That's the one thing I like about girls. You don't have to worry about them running off.

"Little House on the Prairie: A Most Precious Gift (#4.20)" (1978)
Charles Ingalls: Why do you have to keep saying that all the time? "Our Son." I mean, we don't know it's gonna be a boy.
Caroline Ingalls: Because I want a boy. For you!
Charles Ingalls: Well I don't - not if it means nine months of misery.
Caroline Ingalls: You made this cradle for our son!
Charles Ingalls: Caroline, I made the cradle for our child!

"Little House on the Prairie: School Mom (#1.9)" (1974)
Charles Ingalls: Caroline, just one more thing. Just remember, the eggs are for selling, not for throwing.

"Little House on the Prairie: A Matter of Faith (#2.15)" (1976)
Laura Ingalls: I've never seen Ma so sick before.
Charles Ingalls: Neither did I, darling, but Dr. Baker's with her. He'll do everything he can.
Mary Ingalls: She ain't gonna die is... is she, Pa?
Charles Ingalls: There's no reason to be talking like that. God takes care of those that love Him.

"Little House on the Prairie: Soldier's Return (#2.21)" (1976)
Charles Ingalls: What are you studying in history right now?
Laura Ingalls: Same old thing... dead people!

"Little House on the Prairie: Ebenezer Sprague (#2.3)" (1975)
Charles Ingalls: I came here to tell you that my little girl is not a liar.
Ebenezer Sprague: Well, I have nothing to say about that.
Charles Ingalls: Well I have something to say about it. Now, you broke that little girl's heart. She went down to the pond every day to see her best friend, that's what she called you. Her best friend.
Ebenezer Sprague: Yes, because she wanted me to lend you money.
Charles Ingalls: She didn't have the slightest idea who you were. And as for the loan, I wouldn't take it if it meant I'd lose everything. My little girl gave something to you, friendship. You took it and threw it right back in her face.
Ebenezer Sprague: I don't need any friends.
Charles Ingalls: Well that good for you, Mr. Sprague, because you don't have any. You know, I feel sorry for you. You can't take anything; and you can't give anything except money. And as far as I'm concerned, that means you don't have anything at all.

"Little House on the Prairie: No Beast So Fierce (#8.12)" (1982)
Charles Ingalls: I wouldn't worry, I think the odds favor it
[to James when he hopes Gideon is home safe]

"Little House on the Prairie: The Legacy (#8.14)" (1982)
Jack: Did you ever want to do something different, just for the sake of doing it?
Charles Ingalls: Well, like what?
Jack: Just... Different... Something like... Well... Important-like. Leaving your stamp so's the world know you'd been there.
Charles Ingalls: You wanta be famous, Jack?
Jack: Nothing like that. Well, maybe just a little bit. I mean... You get born... You grow up... You get married, you build a house or two, you have children. And you work at whatever you can to pay for it all... and the kids grow up. They move away. Suddenly, there you are. You're facing the idea that never once did you do something... special... just for you to be remembered by...

"Little House on the Prairie: The Lost Ones: Part 2 (#7.22)" (1981)
Charles Ingalls: Caroline, what do you expect me to do? We can hardly make ends meet now. I can't afford to take care of two more young 'uns!

"Little House on the Prairie: He Was Only Twelve: Part 2 (#8.22)" (1982)
Charles Ingalls: God isn't going to let my son die.
Dr. Hiram Baker: What happened in Sleepy Eye had nothing to do with God! It was a bank robbery. Your son happened to be there at that moment. There's no one to blame except the man who shot him.

"Little House on the Prairie: The Craftsman (#5.15)" (1979)
Laura Ingalls: I don't see why you have to spend so much time with that old man.
Albert Quinn Ingalls: Well, I like him. That's why.
Laura Ingalls: You seem to be the only one that does. Nobody likes Jews!
Charles Ingalls: Half-Pint, what kind of talk is that?
Laura Ingalls: Well, it's true. And I get made fun of too, just because I'm his sister.
Charles Ingalls: So then rather than being made fun of, you go along the rest of them that dislikes someone just because they're a Jew.
Laura Ingalls: I don't dislike him...
Charles Ingalls: Half-pint, if you don't stand up to people... bigots... then you're no better than they are. Worse, in fact, because you know that it's wrong and you allow them to think that you feel the same way they do.

"Little House on the Prairie: If I Should Wake Before I Die (#1.6)" (1974)
Charles Ingalls: Was she very disappointed?
Caroline Ingalls: Nope.
Charles Ingalls: How'd you manage to do it?
Caroline Ingalls: I'm baking the cake.

"Little House on the Prairie: Be My Friend (#4.17)" (1978)
Laura Elizabeth Ingalls Wilder: I didn't realize how late it was.
Charles Philip Ingalls: Alright, upstairs now! GO ON!
[Laura goes up to the loft, Charles follows]
Charles Philip Ingalls: Alright, young lady, suppose you tell me where you've been!
Laura Elizabeth Ingalls Wilder: I was walking.
Charles Philip Ingalls: You were walking? Not towards home, I take it. I can't hear you!
Laura Elizabeth Ingalls Wilder: No, sir.
Charles Philip Ingalls: Then where were you walking?
Laura Elizabeth Ingalls Wilder: By the lake.
Charles Philip Ingalls: Do you have any idea how upset we get when you just disappear?
Laura Elizabeth Ingalls Wilder: Yes, sir. I'm sorry.
Charles Philip Ingalls: Well 'sorry' isn't enough. Now I haven't given you a whippin' in a long time and I think I've been making a mistake.

"Little House on the Prairie: Laura Ingalls Wilder: Part 1 (#7.1)" (1980)
Charles Ingalls: Mr. Gray?
Matt Gray: I thought you were going off to pray.
Charles Ingalls: Well, I just wanted to apologize for the actions of my future son-in-law. He just doesn't understand you're a business man and these things happen. He's just a boy, you know what I mean?
Matt Gray: I suppose.
Charles Ingalls: It's like when you made that offer... it was a very generous offer of a hundred dollars for his crop... that was a hundred dollars, wasn't it?
Matt Gray: That's right.
Charles Ingalls: Well, when you made that offer he really got upset. See, he was planning on taking the money from the crop and pay off the note... Buy a house for my daughter and himself and live on the land for the rest of their lives. I mean, you can't blame him for being upset.
Matt Gray: 'Course. But it's business.
Charles Ingalls: Well, I know that and you know that, but like I said he's just a boy. I mean, he's ornery and he's hot-headed, you know. Hey, you know who he reminds me off? His future father in law.
[Punches Graves so hard that he falls to the ground]
Charles Ingalls: . You know when he's going to sell you that crop for a hundred dollars? When hell freezes over!

"Little House on the Prairie: Little Women (#3.14)" (1977)
Isaiah Edwards: Well, you know what you oughta do. What you gotta do is... well... you gotta let her know how you feel. You see. Then you tell her how it's gonna be. I mean, there ain't a woman nowhere that don't appreciate a firm hand. Well now, you take Grace. I mean, she'd still be pining her nights alone if I hadn't spoke up. Yes sir! I mean, I told her how it's gonna be, I told her what was going to happen...
Charles Ingalls: Morning, Grace. Isaiah was just talking about you. We'll leave you two alone.

"Little House on the Prairie: A Christmas They Never Forgot (#8.11)" (1981)
Charles Ingalls: Stop your crying, woman!
Caroline Ingalls: I will! In a minute.

"Little House on the Prairie: I Do, Again (#7.20)" (1981)
Charles Ingalls: Of course, there's another big reason why she's happy.
Almanzo James Wilder: Why's that?
Charles Ingalls: Because she's married to a very wonderful person.

"Little House on the Prairie: The Stranger (#4.19)" (1978)
Charles Ingalls: This is where you'll bunk. The straw's fresh. You can keep your clothes in the box there in the corner. You'll see the outhouse out that window. Nels said he packed you some work clothes in this case. Best get changed. We'll be ready to go.
Peter Lundstrom: I prefer to wear what I have on.
Charles Ingalls: Well, I don't prefer it. And you work for me. As long as you do, you'll do what I say.
Peter Lundstrom: And if I don't?
Charles Ingalls: Well then, I'll have to bare your bottom and give you a whippin'.

Little House: Bless All the Dear Children (1984) (TV)
Charles Ingalls: The winter of '96 was a bad one. My family was used to nature's cold hand around Christmas. We had learned to survive her frozen fury. But that year, nature laid a warm cheek on Walnut Grove. The snow began to melt in the high Country even before it's white blanket touched the flat land. Steam rose from the rivers as the sun warmed the flowing waters. It would be an easy Christmas for my daughter and her family, or so she thought.

"Little House on the Prairie: He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not: Part 2 (#6.24)" (1980)
Nellie Oleson Dalton: I thought you could use some pie. It's nice and hot.
Charles Ingalls: No thanks, Nellie.
Percival Isaac Cohen Dalton: Don't be afraid, Mr. Ingalls. You might be surprised.
Charles Ingalls: I'm sure I will be.

"Little House on the Prairie: The Rivals (#4.14)" (1978)
Charles Ingalls: That sister of yours is sure acting funny.
Mary Ingalls: Yeah well... maybe she found something a bit more interesting than frogs.
Charles Ingalls: What's more interesting than...
[Look of panic when he realizes what Mary was speaking of]

"Little House on the Prairie: Gold Country (#3.22)" (1977)
Caroline Ingalls: Charles, you're not going to work on the Lord's Day!
Charles Ingalls: The sooner we get rich, the sooner the Reverend will have the Lord's church. It's almost like doing the Lord's work, isn't it?

"Little House on the Prairie: Fagin (#5.7)" (1978)
Albert Quinn Ingalls: I'll raise you a cow you can be proud of.
Charles Ingalls: First lesson, Albert. Male calves very rarely grow up to be cows.
Albert Quinn Ingalls: Oh yeah. Then I won't expect it to give much milk.

"Little House on the Prairie: Doctor's Lady (#1.17)" (1975)
Dr. Hiram Baker: I have an announcement to make and I don't know why I'm being so formal. You're all my friends and I want you to know I am the luckiest man in the world. I have asked this woman... Kate thorton... to be my wife.
Charles Ingalls: What did she say?
Dr. Hiram Baker: Oh, she said yes!

"Little House on the Prairie: Silent Promises (#6.17)" (1980)
Laura Ingalls: I'm going to stop by the Wilder place and tell Miss Wilder all about it.
Charles Ingalls: You're gonna tell MISS Wilder.
Laura Ingalls: Yeah.
Charles Ingalls: You could do that in school on Monday.
Laura Ingalls: I know.
Charles Ingalls: I wonder if almanzo is going to be there.
Laura Ingalls: I wouldn't know.
Charles Ingalls: Well, what difference does that make anyway? Why would you want to go all the way over there just to tell Almanzo you're a grown up teacher lady for?

"Little House on the Prairie: There's No Place Like Home: Part 1 (#5.5)" (1978)
Charles Ingalls: What time do we start home tomorrow?
Jonathan Garvey: What time are we starting home?
Charles Ingalls: You heard me. What time are we?
Jonathan Garvey: Six o'clock too early?
Charles Ingalls: Six o'clock's perfect. Farmers love to get up early!

"Little House on the Prairie: The Creeper of Walnut Grove (#4.6)" (1977)
Reverend Robert Alden: [enters the church and notices Charles' green hair] Today's text, which I have chosen several days ago, is based on the 23rd Psalm. The Lord is my shepherd, I'll not want. He maketh me lie down in green pastures.
[Reverend Alden starts to laugh and then the whole church breaks out with laughter]
Charles: I'm going to take the wagon, I'll meet you home!
[Caroline starts to laugh]