Simon Cowell
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Quotes for
Simon Cowell (Character)
from The Royal Variety Performance (2013) (TV)

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"The Simpsons: Judge Me Tender (#21.23)" (2010)
Simon Cowell: So, how do you like L.A.?
Moe Szyslak: It's a helluva city. It's like someone stepped on New York and scraped it on the beach.
Simon Cowell: Clever. Slightly nasty. Very impressive.


"Family Guy: Lois Kills Stewie (#6.5)" (2007)
[Stewie has just finished singing]
Simon Cowell: Stewie, what the hell was that?
Stewie Griffin: That was, uh, "Lost in Your Eyes" by Debbie Gibson.
Simon Cowell: One of the worst I've ever heard.
Stewie Griffin: Okay.
Simon Cowell: Stewie, you shouldn't actually be alive you sniveling little creep. I hate you so much I want to shoot you in your face.
Stewie Griffin: All right.
Paula Abdul: Honey, I liked you but you're just not right for *this* competition.
Randy Jackson: Yo, dawg I gotta tell you from me man. That was not even half good dude. You can't sing. What are you doing, Stewie?
[cut to Stewie leaving in tears]
Stewie Griffin: I don't even care! They don't know what they's talkin' about! Next time they hears about me they's gonna be like, "We was wrong about Stewie!" Cause I's gonna be huge! I's gonna be bigger than every one of all y'alls!