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Quotes for
Jay Leno (Character)
from The Late Shift (1996) (TV)

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"JAG: A New Life: Part 1 (#1.1)" (1995)
[Admiral Brovo is watching "The Tonight Show"]
Jay Leno: This just in. One of the Navy, uh, F-14 Tomcats shot down a couple of Serbian MiGs over Bosnia this afternoon. Listen to this, the Radar Intercept Officer in the Tomcat was a woman! Boy, you thought getting shot down by a woman in a bar was bad. Oh, my God!

Dave (1993)
Jay Leno: What is with President Mitchell lately? I mean has this guy been having too many "Happy Meals"? I mean geez!

Contact (1997)
Jay Leno: So it turns out there's life on other planets. Boy, this is really going to change the Miss Universe contest, you know what I mean?

Space Cowboys (2000)
[the crew are guests on the Tonight show]
Jay Leno: Now you all have military backgrounds... North or South?

"South Park: Fishsticks (#13.5)" (2009)
Jay Leno: So apparently more and more Americans are eating fishsticks. Have you seen this? Have you read about this? Loving fishsticks, kinda makes me wonder, you know? What is everybody, a gay fish?
[the studio audience roars with laughter and two men in the front row fall off their chairs and throw up]

The Late Shift (1996) (TV)
Jay Leno: I may look stupid, but I'm Italian. I know how to find information!

"Titus: The Pit (#2.22)" (2001)
Jay Leno: With this humidity, your janitor here has got something.
Ken Titus: What do you know about it ? You know, your driver is launching cock-eyed. You might want to have a talk with him instead of looking at the headlines for typos.
Jay Leno: Oh, that's very funny. Are you a Nielsen box?
Ken Titus: No.
Jay Leno: Then shut up!