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Quotes for
Cornelius Hackl (Character)
from Hello, Dolly! (1969)

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Hello, Dolly! (1969)
Cornelius Hackl: We're gonna close the store.
Barnaby Tucker: Close the store?
Cornelius Hackl: We have to, 'cause some rotten cans of chicken mash are going to explode.
Barnaby Tucker: Holy cabooses, how do you know?
Cornelius Hackl: Because I'm gonna light some candles under them.

Cornelius Hackl: I've lost everything: my job, my future, everything people *think* is important, but I don't care - because even if I have to dig ditches for the rest of my life, I shall be a ditch-digger who once had a wonderful day.

Cornelius Hackl: Cornelius Hackl here.
Barnaby Tucker: Barnaby Tucker here.
Irene Molloy: Irene Malloy here.

Cornelius Hackl: [infatuated with Irene] Well, you see, we're two ladies about town and we're looking for a had to Malloy and...
Barnaby Tucker: We're hats, you see, and we're looking for a lady to Malloy with for the af...
Cornelius Hackl: [signals Barnaby to be quiet] We want a hat!

Cornelius Hackl: Look, I'm dancing!
[carelessly backs into a chair and falls]
Cornelius Hackl: Uh, I was.

Fritz, German waiter: And what would you like, sir.
Cornelius Hackl: Six months off for good behavior.

Cornelius Hackl: I've never touched a woman before.
Irene Molloy: You still haven't. That's my corset.

Horace: Corneilius Hackl! What are you doing in New York?
Cornelius Hackl: Oh, I'm just delivering some oats.
Horace: Delivering some oats? With my former intended? You're discharged!
Cornelius Hackl: You can't fire me. I quit!
Irene Molloy: So do I!
Horace: Barnaby Tucker, you're discharged.
Barnaby Tucker: You can't fire me. I quit!
Minnie Fay: So do I!

Cornelius Hackl: Smile Barnaby.
Barnaby Tucker: [forcing a smile] I'm smiling.
Cornelius Hackl: Look rich, gay, and charming.
Barnaby Tucker: [a small beat] I'm looking gay and charming.

Cornelius Hackl: Barnaby, you don't know anything about women.
Barnaby Tucker: Only that we can't afford them.


The Matchmaker (1958)
Irene Molloy: Mr. Vandergelder is a substantial man they tell me, and very well-liked.
Cornelius Hackl: Oh, he's a lovely man.
Irene Molloy: And a large circle of friends.
Cornelius Hackl: Oh, yes indeed. Five or six.
Barnaby Tucker: Five.