Willy Clark
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Quotes for
Willy Clark (Character)
from The Sunshine Boys (1975/I)

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The Sunshine Boys (1975/I)
Willy Clark: Lousy Japs, they lost the war, now they send us their junk!

Willy Clark: Oh, you a funny man, Al, a pain in the ass but a funny man.
Al Lewis: You know what your trouble is, Willy? You always took the jokes too seriously. It was just jokes. We did comedy on the stage for 43 years. I don't think you enjoyed it once.
Willy Clark: If I was there to enjoy it, I would buy a ticket.

Al Lewis: You know what you are? You're a 73-year-old putz.
Willy Clark: At least the putz didn't drive all the way here from New Jersey!

Willy Clark: Well, you know, people don't go out to New Jersey unless they have to.

Willy Clark: Come in... and *enter*!

Willy Clark: [talking about his ex-partner, Al Lewis] As an act, nobody could touch him. As a human being, nobody WANTED to touch him!

Man on Street: Hey, Willy, what're you doin' Downtown?
Willy Clark: [yelling as he hurries past him] I'm workin'! What the hell are you doin'?
Man on Street: [to his companion] He's working!

Ben Clark: I'm getting chest pains. You give me chest pains!
Willy Clark: It's my fault you get excited?
Ben Clark: Yes! I only get chest pains on Wednesdays!
Willy Clark: So come Tuesdays.

Ben Clark: You're not supposed to eat pickles. It's high sodium.
Willy Clark: I spit out the sodium.

Willy Clark: 60-40! All right! 60-40! I get $6000; he gets $4000. What the hell can he buy in New Jersey anyway?

Willy Clark: [arguing over changing a line in their sketch] What's wrong with saying "enter" instead of "come in?"
Al Lewis: Because it's different. Do you know why we did this sketch for 43 years, Willy? Because it's good.
Willy Clark: And do you know why we're not doing it anymore? Because we've been doing it for 43 years.
Al Lewis: If we're not doing it anymore, why are we changing it?
Willy Clark: You know what's wrong with you, Lewis? You've been sitting on a New Jersey porch for too long. You're out of touch. From my window here
[opens up window]
Willy Clark: I see everything that's going on in the world. Look! I see old people, I see young people, nice people, bad people. I see hold-ups! I see drug addicts! Ambulances! Car crashes! Jumpers from buildings! I see everything! You see... a lawn mower... and the milkman.
Al Lewis: That's why you want to say "enter" instead of "come in?"

Willy Clark: The finger! The finger!

The Sunshine Boys (1996) (TV)
Willie Clark: I invented comedy!
Al Lewis: The same night you designed the Titanic.

Willie Clark: [to Al] If you're bored in New Jersey, you're already retired.

Willie Clark: You're a funny man, Al. A pain in the ass but a funny man.