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Quotes for
Debbie Wolowitz (Character)
from "The Big Bang Theory" (2007)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"The Big Bang Theory: The Spoiler Alert Segmentation (#6.15)" (2013)
Mrs. Wolowitz: Oh, please. You're a tall drink of brown water.

Mrs. Wolowitz: I drew you a bath!
Raj Koothrappali: Oh, my God! She's not going to bathe me, is she?
Howard Wolowitz: I wish I could tell you no.

Mrs. Wolowitz: [Last lines]
[Raj is trying to escape through a window in Mrs. Wolowitz's house, she grabs him and pulls him back before he can]
Mrs. Wolowitz: Wait! Where are you going?
Raj Koothrappali: Noooooooooo!


"The Big Bang Theory: The Gorilla Dissolution (#7.23)" (2014)
Howard Wolowitz: The doctor says you need to get exercise!
Mrs. Wolowitz: I get plenty of exercise!
Howard Wolowitz: Crushing my will to live isn't exercise!

Mrs. Wolowitz: I told you this thing would kill me!

Mrs. Wolowitz: I'm hungry again!
Howard Wolowitz: It's like the world's fattest cuckoo clock.


"The Big Bang Theory: The Thanksgiving Decoupling (#7.9)" (2013)
Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, the medicine's not working!
Howard Wolowitz: You just took it. At least let it reach your *first stomach*!

Mr. Rostenkowski: What's wrong with your mother?
Howard Wolowitz: Oh, her gout's acting up. Turns out an apple pie a day does not keep the doctor away.
Mrs. Wolowitz: How can one little toe hurt so bad?
Howard Wolowitz: Maybe because that little piggy is being *crushed by the barn!*


"The Big Bang Theory: The Date Night Variable (#6.1)" (2012)
Howard Wolowitz: Mom, everyone at NASA can hear this call.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Good! They can hear what a horrible son you are!
Howard Wolowitz: Okay, nice talking to you! Goodbye!
[Hangs up]
Howard Wolowitz: Well, space is ruined.

Sheldon Cooper: Whatever it is, his life will never be the same.
[Cut to International Space Station]
Mrs. Wolowitz: [shouting through the phone] Howard! Can you hear me?
Howard Wolowitz: I can hear you without the telephone!


"The Big Bang Theory: The Friendship Contraction (#5.15)" (2012)
Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard! Are you coming down for breakfast?
Howard Wolowitz: Ma, I told you I have a video conference with NASA! I said don't bother me!
Mrs. Wolowitz: Oh, listen to Mr. Big Shot Astronaut!
Howard Wolowitz: Yes, please listen to Mr. Big Shot Astronaut!

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard! Your Froot Loops are getting soggy!
Howard Wolowitz: Not now!
Michael J. Massimino: What was that?
Howard Wolowitz: My mom. Sorry.
Michael J. Massimino: No problem... Froot Loops.


"The Big Bang Theory: The Cohabitation Formulation (#4.16)" (2011)
Howard Wolowitz: Who's there? Are you a sex criminal?
Mrs. Wolowitz: Sex criminals don't have keys, Ma!

Mrs. Wolowitz: Who's there? Are you a sex criminal?
Howard Wolowitz: Sex criminals don't have keys, Ma!


"The Big Bang Theory: The Hot Troll Deviation (#4.4)" (2010)
Mrs. Wolowitz: [shouting] Howard! Have you seen my girdle?
Howard Wolowitz: [shouting] No, Ma!
Mrs. Wolowitz: [shouting] I can't find it, and I'm late for my Weight Watchers meeting!
Howard Wolowitz: [shouting] Maybe it committed suicide! Leave me alone!

Mrs. Wolowitz: [shouting] Howard! I found my girdle! It was in the dryer!
Howard Wolowitz: [shouting] Great, Ma!
Mrs. Wolowitz: [shouting] I think it shrunk! I'm spilling out like the Pillsbury Doughboy here!
Howard Wolowitz: [quietly to himself] And with that mental picture I think we're done for the evening.


"The Big Bang Theory: The Pulled Groin Extrapolation (#5.3)" (2011)
Mrs. Wolowitz: I don't know who you're talking to, but in or out! We don't need bugs!
Howard Wolowitz: The bugs only come here, because YOU'RE THEIR QUEEN!

Bernadette Rostenkowski: Good morning, handsome.
Howard Wolowitz: Good morning, mom.
Bernadette Rostenkowski: It's me!
Howard Wolowitz: Yes, it is. And you're so pretty in the morning!
Bernadette Rostenkowski: Your mom and I made you breakfast.
Howard Wolowitz: Oh, wow. So, you guys are getting along?
Bernadette Rostenkowski: Yeah... I guess. We're very different people, Howard. So communication's a little tricky.
Mrs. Wolowitz: DOES HE LIKE THE PANCAKES?
Bernadette Rostenkowski: HE DIDN'T TRY THEM, YET!
Howard Wolowitz: Is there any butter?
Bernadette Rostenkowski: It's butter flavored syrup.
Mrs. Wolowitz: SO, WHAT'S THE WORD?
Bernadette Rostenkowski: HE WANTS BUTTER!
Mrs. Wolowitz: IT'S BUTTER FLAVORED SYRUP!
Bernadette Rostenkowski: I JUST TOLD HIM THAT!


"The Big Bang Theory: The Russian Rocket Reaction (#5.5)" (2011)
Mrs. Wolowitz: [shouting from off-screen] Howard! Bernadette's here!
Howard Wolowitz: [shouting back] Tell her I'm not home!
Mrs. Wolowitz: What kind of a schmuck play is that? She can hear you shouting!

Mrs. Wolowitz: Over my dead body my son goes into outer space!


"The Big Bang Theory: The Hawking Excitation (#5.21)" (2012)
Mrs. Wolowitz: Sheldon! I need your help!
Sheldon Cooper: What is it now, Mrs. Wolowitz?
Mrs. Wolowitz: It's this dress! When I put my front in, my back pops out! When I put my back in, my front pops out! It's like trying to keep two dogs in a bathtub.
Sheldon Cooper: What do you want me to do?
Mrs. Wolowitz: We're gonna have to work as a team! Get in here, grab a handful and start stuffing!


"The Big Bang Theory: The Anything Can Happen Recurrence (#7.21)" (2014)
Raj Koothrappali: You're a good friend. I owe you one.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard! Help me get out of the tub!
[Howard looks at Raj]
Raj Koothrappali: Not that one.


"The Big Bang Theory: The Weekend Vortex (#5.19)" (2012)
[last lines]
Mrs. Wolowitz: [pounds on the door] Howard Joel Wolowitz, I've been worried sick for two days and I know you turned off your phone. You open up this door right now, because I've had it up to here. I have been to the morgue and the hospital, and I've spent the last half hour walking up these farkakte stairs.
Howard Wolowitz: That's my ride. Gotta go.
[Sheldon uses the 'whip-crack' app sound]


"The Big Bang Theory: The Lizard-Spock Expansion (#2.8)" (2008)
Howard Wolowitz: Hey, buddy, what brings you to my little slice of Hell?
Mrs. Wolowitz: Who is it?
Howard Wolowitz: It's Leonard!
Mrs. Wolowitz: You're gonna have to play outside! I'm not dressed to receive!
Howard Wolowitz: No one cares, Ma!
[to Leonard]
Howard Wolowitz: So, what's up?


"The Big Bang Theory: The Prom Equivalency (#8.8)" (2014)
Stuart Bloom: What are you talking about? There's nothing weird going on between me and your mother.
Debbie Wolowitz: Stewie! Your bath is getting cold!
Stuart Bloom: Sorry, gotta go.


"The Big Bang Theory: The Habitation Configuration (#6.7)" (2012)
Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, help! My hand is caught in the garbage disposal!
Howard Wolowitz: Just let go of whatever food you're holding!
Mrs. Wolowitz: Are you kidding? It's a perfectly good chicken leg!


"The Big Bang Theory: The Dumpling Paradox (#1.7)" (2007)
Christy: [arguing] All I'm saying is you could take the plastic off the couch!
Mrs. Wolowitz: Why? So you and Howard can hump on it?


"The Big Bang Theory: The Vengeance Formulation (#3.9)" (2009)
Howard Wolowitz: So nice you could join me this evening. You're looking lovely as always.
Katee Sackhoff: Thanks, Howard. Always nice to be part of your masturbatory fantasies.
Howard Wolowitz: Come on, Katee, don't make it sound so cheap.
Katee Sackhoff: I'm sorry. Fiddling with yourself in the bathtub is a real class act.
Howard Wolowitz: Thank you. So, shall we get started?
Katee Sackhoff: Sure, but could I ask you a question first?
Howard Wolowitz: You want to play Cylon & Colonist?
Katee Sackhoff: No. I want to know why you're playing make-believe with me when you could be out with a real woman tonight.
Howard Wolowitz: You mean Bernadette?
Katee Sackhoff: No, I mean Princess Leia. Of course I mean Bernadette. She's a wonderful girl and she really likes you.
Howard Wolowitz: I know, but she's not you.
Katee Sackhoff: I'm not me. The real me is in Beverly Hills going out with a tall, handsome, rich guy.
Howard Wolowitz: Really? Tall?
Katee Sackhoff: Six four.
Howard Wolowitz: Ouch.
Katee Sackhoff: The point is you've got a wonderful girl in your life and you're ignoring her in order to spend your nights in a bathtub with a mental image and a washcloth.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard! What are you doing in there?
Howard Wolowitz: I'm taking a bath!
Mrs. Wolowitz: I hope that's all you're doing! We share that tub!
Howard Wolowitz: Don't remind me!
[he turns back to find Katee has disappeared]
Howard Wolowitz: Oh, man, all soaped up and no place to go.


"The Big Bang Theory: The Killer Robot Instability (#2.12)" (2009)
Mrs. Wolowitz: Should I ask Leonard to bring over your homework?
Howard Wolowitz: I don't have homework. I'm a grown man with a masters degree in engineering!
Mrs. Wolowitz: Excuse me, Mr. Fancypants. Want me to get you a Popsicle?
Howard Wolowitz: Cherry, please!
Mrs. Wolowitz: I ate the cherry! All that's left is green!
Howard Wolowitz: You make me want to kill myself?


"The Big Bang Theory: The Cushion Saturation (#2.16)" (2009)
Howard Wolowitz: I'm busy, ma!
Mrs. Wolowitz: Too busy to help your mother with her zipper?
Howard Wolowitz: Don't come in, ma!
Mrs. Wolowitz: Why not?
Leslie Winkle: He's got company!
Howard Wolowitz: Oh, there's the arrhythmia.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Is she Jewish?
Howard Wolowitz: [quietly] Are you Jewish?
Leslie Winkle: [quietly] No.
Howard Wolowitz: [shouting] Yes!


"The Big Bang Theory: The Countdown Reflection (#5.24)" (2012)
Raj Koothrappali: Howard and Bernadette, the five of us stand before you as your friends and newly ordained ministers.
Mrs. Wolowitz: LOUDER!
Bernadette Rostenkowski: They all got ordained. They're all marrying us. It's adorable. If you want to hear it, come closer.
Raj Koothrappali: Guys. When I look at the two of you starting your lives together it fills... my heart... it fills my heart. Forget it, I need a minute.
Penny: Okay, I'll, I'll go. Howard and Bernadette. I know you two planned on getting married in a big fancy wedding, but when you're in love in doesn't matter where or how these things happen. It just matters that you have each other.
Leonard Hofstadter: Hmm.
Penny: Problem?
Leonard Hofstadter: No.
Sheldon Cooper: I think the Revered Hofstader is making an ironic connection between your statement about love and your rejection of his proposal in the bedroom.
Penny: Oh, grow up.
Leonard Hofstadter: I didn't say it.
Amy Farrah Fowler: That's enough from the both of you.
Penny: Well, he started it.
Leonard Hofstadter: Well, I'm ending it. Bernadette, I want to thank you for allowing me to be your maid of honor. I also want you to know that I will be happy to do it again if this marriage craps out.
Leonard Hofstadter: Thank you, Amy. Very touching. Howard and Bernadette. You are lucky enough to be best friends who love each other and that's the strongest kind of love because at its core it has kindness, patience, and respect. Qualities that are hard to find in people these days.
Sheldon Cooper: Would you like some aloe vera? You just got burned. All right, my turn. Howard. Bernadette.
[Klingon]
Bernadette Rostenkowski: Sheldon! I told you no Klingon!
Sheldon Cooper: Fine, I'll do it in English. But it loses something. The need to find another human being has to share one's life with has always puzzled me. Maybe because I am so interesting all by myself. With that being said, may *you* find as much happiness with each other as I find on my own. The Klingon would have made you cry.
Raj Koothrappali: I believe you two have prepared vows.
Bernadette Rostenkowski: Howard Joel Wolowitz, like you this is going to be short and sweet. I love you with all my heart and soul and promise to be with you forever.
Howard Wolowitz: Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski.
Mrs. Wolowitz: SPEAK UP!
Sheldon Cooper: From now on she's the only woman whho can yell at me! Until I met you I couldn't imagine spending my life with just one person. And now, I can't imagine spending one day of it without you.
Raj Koothrappali, Penny, Leonard Hofstadter, Sheldon Cooper, Amy Farrah Fowler: By the power vested in us by the state of California...
[Sheldon only]
Raj Koothrappali, Penny, Leonard Hofstadter, Sheldon Cooper, Amy Farrah Fowler: and the Klingon High Council... we now pronounce you husband and wife.