Adam Rhodes
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Adam Rhodes (Character)
from "Rules of Engagement" (2007)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Rules of Engagement: Jen at Work (#2.11)" (2008)
Audrey Bingham: Hot tub? Jeff, you know those are bad for your sperm.
Jeff Bingham: Nice meal time topic, Audrey.
Adam Rhodes: Yeah, Audrey, it's kind of gross. So what's up with your sperm?
Jeff Bingham: I think you're making Jennifer uncomfortable.
Jennifer: Well, what's going on down there? I mean are your guys weak or is it failure to launch?
Jeff Bingham: I don't want to talk about my junk.
Audrey Bingham: It's not a big deal. They're our friends. We had a fertility test a while back and Jeff's boys were a little slow.
Jennifer: I didn't even know you guys were trying.
Audrey Bingham: Well, we're trying to be trying. The doctor gave Jeff a list of things he should do like wearing loose underwear, taking supplements and staying out of hot tubs.
Jeff Bingham: Yeah, and I've been doing most of that. I just fell off the wagon a little bit.
Audrey Bingham: What's a little bit?
Jeff Bingham: I may have forgotten to refill the supplements and when I play softball I wear tighty whiteys.
Audrey Bingham: God, Are you kidding?
Jeff Bingham: I tried wearing boxers but when I ran it felt like someone was shooting dice in my pants.

Russell Dunbar: Hey, what's up?
Adam Rhodes: Hey, did you rearrange your furniture?
Russell Dunbar: Oh yeah, I porn shuied the whole office.
Adam Rhodes: You what?
Russell Dunbar: I porn shuied it. That's when you rearrange your furniture so that people can't see what's on your computer screen
Adam Rhodes: Porn shui?
Russell Dunbar: Yeah, I invented it.
Adam Rhodes: You are a very deep guy.
Russell Dunbar: Yet I don't mean to be.

Adam Rhodes: What are you doing in my office?
Russell Dunbar: Aah, I'm just checking some e-mail. My computer crashed.
Adam Rhodes: How much porn did you download?
Russell Dunbar: All of it? Oh crap, there's Jennifer. Better get this porn off your computer.
Adam Rhodes: I thought you were checking e-mail.
Russell Dunbar: Don't be stupid.

Jeff Bingham: Super sperm.
Adam Rhodes: And the doctor actually used those words?
Jeff Bingham: Yes he did. It's like a koi pond down there.
Russell Dunbar: Waitress, could you cancel my fish and chips please?
Adam Rhodes: I thought your boys were slow?
Jeff Bingham: Turns out they were just mild mannered like Clark Kent

"Rules of Engagement: Kids (#1.5)" (2007)
Adam: Stupid, stupid future!

Adam Rhodes: Stupid, stupid future!

"Rules of Engagement: Russell's Father's Son (#2.13)" (2008)
Jeff Bingham: How great would it be if I cracked this open and a chicken flew out?
Adam Rhodes: That would be unbelievable. We would be talking about it forever.
Jeff Bingham: Plus I'd sue this place for millions, buy a house in the woods, maybe a boat.
Adam Rhodes: Aah man, why didn't I order an egg?
Jeff Bingham: And I'd have to grow some corn.
Adam Rhodes: Why?
Jeff Bingham: To feed the million dollar chicken, that's my boy.
Audrey Bingham: So, this is an actual conversation?
Jeff Bingham: Hey, you're the one who always ask me what I'm thinking about
Audrey Bingham: Not anymore.

Adam Rhodes: You look like a banker in a bad porno.
Russell Dunbar: Like there's such a thing as a bad porno.
Adam Rhodes: Well the one that you lent us last week was... bad.
Jennifer: Us? We didn't watch any porno
Adam Rhodes: Were... Were you not there?

"Rules of Engagement: Jeff's New Friend (#3.3)" (2009)
Brad: Yes, it does back up traffic as do all parades but I wouldn't know who to talk to about that.
Jeff Bingham: Okay, I have another question.
Brad: Alright, but not another one about Anderson Cooper.
Jeff Bingham: With two guys you must be pretty much doing it all the time, right? With no woman there to say no.
Brad: It's still a marriage, there is always someone there to say no.
Adam Rhodes: So when you're done with sex does one of you want to cuddle and the other one want to watch sport center?
Jeff Bingham: And does Jackie get upset when you leave the toilet seat up?
Brad: Why don't you write all these down and I'll get back to you?

"Rules of Engagement: The Four Pillars (#4.5)" (2010)
[last lines]
Jennifer: Oh God, Adam, look at the caption.
Adam: Jennifer Morgan to wed
Adam: Madam Rhodes! No! No! They, they totally ruined my hetero picture...
Jennifer: At least it's a small town, not that many people will see it.
Jeff: Oh no, they've got an online edition. Well, I got a busy night ahead of me so...

"Rules of Engagement: The Surrogate (#4.10)" (2010)
[first lines]
Jennifer: Timmy, it's fantastic.
Adam: Oh yeah, Timmy this is like the coolest wedding website I've ever seen. And I've seen four!

"Rules of Engagement: Pilot (#1.1)" (2007)
Adam Rhodes: I proposed because I love her.
Russell: It's so gay.
Adam Rhodes: Being in love with a woman is gay?
Russell: No, but saying it out loud to another guy is.

"Rules of Engagement: Dad's Visit (#3.4)" (2009)
Jeff Bingham: Let me say that I swear on the souls of my grandchildren that I will not be the one who breaks the peace we have made here today.
Adam Rhodes: Why is he looking at me?
Jeff Bingham: The Godfather?
Adam Rhodes: Oh... No, never saw it.
Jeff Bingham: You've never seen The Godfather?
Audrey Bingham: Oh, here we go.
Adam Rhodes: No, my parents were hippies... They didn't want me to see anything too violent.
Jeff Bingham: Then close your eyes cause I'm gonna punch you in the face.

"Rules of Engagement: Third Wheel (#4.6)" (2010)
[last lines]
Russell: So how's Jennifer's diet coming?
Adam: Not good. This morning I caught her eating hot chocolate powder with butter. Well I can't take it anymore so I came up with a plan.
Russell: Uh-oh, this will be good.
Adam: See I adjusted the scale ahead six pounds, so she'll think she lost a little weight even though she hasn't.
Russell: You mean, you adjusted it back six pounds.
Adam: No, it's forwards cause... Oh no!

"Rules of Engagement: Russell's Secret (#3.1)" (2009)
Adam Rhodes: You know, I've never been to a boat show. What do you do there?
Jeff Bingham: You look at boats.
Jennifer: You really didn't see that one coming?

"Rules of Engagement: Flirting (#4.1)" (2010)
[last lines]
Russell: You know what this means?
Adam: No, what?
Russell: You're still on death row, and the date has been set, but what's this? The phone rings! Who could it be? Oh my god, it's the governor!
Adam: What does he want?

"Rules of Engagement: The Birthday Deal (#1.2)" (2007)
Adam Rhodes: I get two Birthday Deals. Suck on that, Jeff.

"Rules of Engagement: Time Share (#2.10)" (2008)
Adam Rhodes: How about tennis?
Jeff Bingham: What are we, 17 year old Russian girls?
Adam Rhodes: No, tennis is manlier than golf
Jeff Bingham: Oh please, a golf ball could kill you, a tennis ball couldn't.
Adam Rhodes: It could if you choked on it.
Jeff Bingham: What are you doing with a tennis ball in your mouth?
Adam Rhodes: Touche.
Jeff Bingham: Here, I got a putter for you. Try not to choke on it.

"Rules of Engagement: Atlantic City (#4.3)" (2010)
[last lines]
Russell: [faking a Southern accent] Well from your description, I'd say you could have a declavamacated hip... but I would be remiss if I did not conduct a more thorough examination in my office, which at this point in time is room 703.
Adam: Hey buddy, there you are, I made it!
Russell: [faking a Southern accent] Excuse me, kind stranger, I'm with a patient.
Adam: Uh, but Russell...
Russell: [faking a Southern accent] I said, I said go away boy, you're bothering me!