Cerie Xerox
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Quotes for
Cerie Xerox (Character)
from "30 Rock" (2006)

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"30 Rock: The Bubble (#3.15)" (2009)
Jenna Maroney: Everyone shout out phrases that describe my beauty.
Pete Hornberger: Fading.
Cerie: '80s.
Richard F. Esposito: 1880s.

"30 Rock: Season 4 (#4.1)" (2009)
Liz Lemon: No one can know about this.
Cerie: Know about what?
Liz Lemon: Pete's stealing money!
Pete Hornberger: Liz's uterus fell out!
Cerie: Oh. I think I already knew that.

"30 Rock: The Fighting Irish (#1.17)" (2007)
Cerie: Oh, Liz? Did you put your check in already?
Liz Lemon: Oh, no.
[takes out her checkbook]
Liz Lemon: What do I make it out to - "Chicago All-Saints Hospital"?
Cerie: Eddie just said to write the initials on the check.
[Liz speaks to herself as she writes]
Liz Lemon: C-A-S-H... Son of a bitch!
[Liz looks through the box of checks; all are addressed to CASH]
Cerie: [helpfully] Eddie already took the other box.

"30 Rock: Khonani (#4.18)" (2010)
Cerie: Hey Liz, can I talk to you and Jenna in the office where everyone clips their toenails?
Liz Lemon: Not cool, guys.
Cerie: As you guys know, I'm getting married on May 22nd.
Jenna Maroney: You are? Still?
Cerie: Well, it was off for a while because my fiancé was on a yacht and got captured by pirates. But now, thanks to the A-team, he's back.

"30 Rock: A Goon's Deed in a Weary World (#7.11)" (2013)
Tracy Jordan: Ladies and gentlemen of the Cabletown board, I quit.
Jenna Maroney: So do I.
Liz Lemon: What the hell are you doing?
[to the executives]
Liz Lemon: They're replaceable. We can get David Allan Grier and Miss Piggy.
Tracy Jordan: I'll telling you what we're doing, LL. We're finally stepping up.
Jenna Maroney: This show is a disaster. Except for the very moving Todd Debeikes tribute. Todd, we'll miss you.
Tracy Jordan: I know you wanna save TGS, Lemonhead, but there is no TGS to save, and you should be at the airport right now picking up your chili.
Jenna Maroney: Children, Tracy.
Tracy Jordan: Children? Why the hell are you still here?
Jenna Maroney: We knew you'd never give up, so for once, let us step up and do what we do best: nothing.
Liz Lemon: You're doing this for me?
Frank Rossitano: We all are. I quit, Liz.
Pete Hornberger: Me too.
Toofer: I quit.
J.D. Lutz: Mommy's baby quits.
Cerie: I actually quit two years ago.
Subhas: Subhas out. Suck it.

"30 Rock: My Whole Life Is Thunder (#7.8)" (2012)
Cerie: Congratulations, Liz. It's inspiring to see that a woman in her 30s can still find true love.
Liz Lemon: I'm 42, Cerie.
Cerie: I don't know what that is.

"30 Rock: Kidney Now! (#3.22)" (2009)
Jenna Maroney: Everyone shout out words that describe my beauty.
Pete Hornberger: Fading.
Cerie: '80s.
Richard F. Esposito: 1880s.

"30 Rock: Up All Night (#1.13)" (2007)
Toofer: Okay, I got a hard one: Osama bin Laden, Martha Stewart, Jenna.
Frank Rossitano: Bone Osama bin Laden, to shame him, and then his own people would murder him. Marry Martha Stuart, 'cause, you know, she seems like a dirty bird, and kill Jenna.
Josh Girard: Cerie, marry, boff, kill: Lutz, Toofer or Kenneth.
Cerie: I'd marry Toofer, because he's classy. I'd kill Lutz, sorry Lutz.
Lutz: The thought that you'd do anything to me is awesome.
Cerie: And I'd boff Kenneth.

"30 Rock: The Baby Show (#1.9)" (2007)
Cerie: Hey everyone I'm engaged!
Frank Rossitano: Is that going to change the way you dress or eat lollipops?
Cerie: No.
Frank Rossitano: Oh congratulations.

"30 Rock: Jack-Tor (#1.5)" (2006)
Liz Lemon: I'm sorry, you're saying you want us to use the show to sell stuff?
Jack: Look, I-I know how this sounds.
Liz Lemon: No, come on, Jack, we're not doing that. We're not compromising the integrity of the show to sell...
Pete Hornberger: Wow, this is Diet Snapple?
Liz Lemon: I know, it tastes just like regular Snapple, doesn't it?
Pete Hornberger: You should try Plum-a-Granate. It's amazing.
Cerie: I only date guys who drink Snapple.