Quotes for
Frank Rossitano (Character)
from "30 Rock" (2006)

"30 Rock: The C Word (#1.14)" (2007)

Liz Lemon: We need to fire Lutz.
Pete Hornberger: What? Why? What happened?
Liz Lemon: He called me the worst name ever.
Frank Rossitano: What did he call you?
Liz Lemon: I'm not gonna repeat it. That's how much I hate it.
Pete Hornberger: Fat can?
Liz Lemon: No.
Frank Rossitano: Mouth hooker?
Liz Lemon: No.
Frank Rossitano: Monster bitch.
Pete Hornberger: Hatchet face.
Liz Lemon: No!

[discussing the word Lutz called Liz.]
Pete Hornberger: Well, you know, he was probably just blowing off steam. You can't fire a guy for cursing.
Liz Lemon: No, I - I'm not upset by cursing. I *love* cursing. I love it! But this word is not acceptable - no - because there's nothing you can call a guy back. There is no male equivalent to this word.
Pete Hornberger: Well, why don't we come up with one, and then you can call him that? Like, um, "muncus."
Frank Rossitano: "Fungdark."

[discussing the word Lutz called Liz.]
Liz Lemon: The one that rhymes with the name of your favorite Todd Rundgren album.
Frank Rossitano: It rhymes with "Hermit of Mink Hollow"?
Liz Lemon: No!
Pete Hornberger: Oh! Oh, boy.

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"30 Rock: Corporate Crush (#1.19)" (2007)

Frank Rossitano: I don't like it when Liz is happy. It makes me uncomfortable, like when my mother drank margaritas and played Tanya Tucker songs.

Frank Rossitano: Yo Tray, we got a problem.
President Thomas Jefferson: [refusing to break character] Pray, who be this Tracy Jordon thou speakest off?
Frank Rossitano: Eh, President Jefferson, we got a problem.
President Thomas Jefferson: Speakest.
Frank Rossitano: That horse ate your wig.
President Thomas Jefferson: Well, stand guard by his rump and await it in his droppings.

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"30 Rock: Sandwich Day (#2.14)" (2008)

Liz Lemon: [stampedes into the writers' desk after finding out that her sandwich is missing, with a statue in her hand] Where's my sandwich?
Tracy Jordan: Lutz made us do it!
Lutz: No it was Frank.
Frank: Lie! It was you!
[the three of them begin to overlap]
Kenneth Parcell: Stop it! This is all my fault, Miss Lemon, because I let it happen. And the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for a good man to do nothing.
Tracy Jordan: Please aks my permission before you quote me, Kenneth.
Liz Lemon: I don't know how, but you're gonna get me another sandwich. Or I'm gonna cut your face up so bad you'll have a chin!
[shouting]
Liz Lemon: You'll all have chins!

Frank: Hey, can you make the teamsters tell us where they make those sandwiches?
Jack Donaghy: Only if you beat them at a drinking contest. It's in their contract.

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"30 Rock: Succession (#2.13)" (2008)

Tracy Jordan: My genius will not be denied. I'm like Mozart. and you're like that guy who was always jealous of Mozart.
Frank Rossitano: Salieri?
Tracy Jordan: No thank you. I already ate.

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"30 Rock: Hard Ball (#1.15)" (2007)

Frank Rossitano: These are the sexiest women in comedy? Where's Jackée?

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"30 Rock: Pilot (#1.1)" (2006)

Pete: Okay, marry, kill: Oprah, bin Laden, and Jenna.
Liz Lemon: What did I tell you about playing that game with people in the room?
Jenna Maroney: No Liz, it's okay.
Frank: Okay, well I'd marry Oprah, for the money. I do bin Laden for revenge and then his own people would kill him. And I'd kill Jenna.

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"30 Rock: Gavin Volure (#3.4)" (2008)

Frank Rossitano: Attention, everyone. I have just been handed a memo that each floor has to have a fire marshall, in case of fires, terrorist attacks, Cloverfield monsters... but I can't because my head is too big for my helmet. So, who wants to volunteer?
Pete Hornberger: Not me. But you have a big head.

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"30 Rock: Subway Hero (#2.12)" (2008)

Frank Rossitano: Wow. I never would have had the guts to do what that dude did.
Liz Lemon: You don't know that.
Frank Rossitano: I do know. I've watched seven different people die in subway stations.

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"30 Rock: Up All Night (#1.13)" (2007)

Toofer: Okay, I got a hard one: Osama bin Laden, Martha Stewart, Jenna.
Frank Rossitano: Bone Osama bin Laden, to shame him, and then his own people would murder him. Marry Martha Stuart, 'cause, you know, she seems like a dirty bird, and kill Jenna.
Josh Girard: Cerie, marry, boff, kill: Lutz, Toofer or Kenneth.
Cerie: I'd marry Toofer, because he's classy. I'd kill Lutz, sorry Lutz.
Lutz: The thought that you'd do anything to me is awesome.
Cerie: And I'd boff Kenneth.

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"30 Rock: Blind Date (#1.3)" (2006)

Liz Lemon: [feeling jittery before the blind date set up for her by Jack] Hey, Frank! What do guys like?
Frank: Porn.
Liz Lemon: No, I mean if you are gonna go on a date with a woman, how would yo want her to act?
Frank: Like she is in porn.

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