Quotes for
Jenna Maroney (Character)
from "30 Rock" (2006)

"30 Rock: Jackie Jormp-Jomp (#3.18)" (2009)

Jenna Maroney: Oh, I can play dead. I watched my whole church group get eaten by a bear.

Jenna Maroney: The Kids Choice Awards? Fine, I'll set aside my feud with Raven-Symone for one day... but she knows what she did.

Jenna Maroney: I'm prepared to slip a nipple if you think it will help.

Jack Donaghy: I'm going to Tupac you.
Jenna Maroney: OK, but I have to pee first.

Jenna Maroney: Do you need a sex tape release? Because I've got a weird one. It's night vision and you can see that his buddy is robbing me.

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"30 Rock: The Head and the Hair (#1.11)" (2007)

Jenna Maroney: The "The Hair?"

Jenna Maroney: How's it going?
Liz Lemon: Terrible. I just want to go home and watch that show about midgets and eat a block of cheese.

Liz Lemon: He looked at me with those crazy handsome guy eyes. It was like the Death Star tractor beam when the Falcon ...
Jenna Maroney: [interrupting] No Liz, do not talk about stuff like that on your date. Guys like that do not like Star Trek.
Liz Lemon: Wars!

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"30 Rock: Cooter (#2.15)" (2008)

Jenna Maroney: Kenneth, where have you been? I had to put on my jeans by myself.

Jenna Maroney: [finding a positive pregnancy test in the trash] Oh no, someone's gonna get more attention then me.

Liz Lemon: Oh, so you're the only one in the word that's allowed to make sex mistakes? You had a threeway with Roseanne and Tom Arnold.
Jenna Maroney: That was two years ago.

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"30 Rock: Greenzo (#2.5)" (2007)

Jenna Maroney: [to Cerie, who's sitting at her desk barefoot] Are bare feet "in" or do you just have your shoes off?

Liz Lemon: Oh hey, I, eh, I found your lipstick
[hands it over]
Jenna Maroney: Oh.
[looks at it]
Jenna Maroney: Oh, no, this isn't mine. This is Sunset Blush. I wear Tiger Orgasm.

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"30 Rock: Jack-Tor (#1.5)" (2006)

Jenna Maroney: I am gonna get back at them... using my sexuality.
Liz Lemon: Do you have any left?

Jenna Maroney: Yeah, but this is different because I know Jack Donaghy. I know what he likes.
Liz Lemon: Yeah. So now you just have to make yourself 10 years younger and Asian.

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"30 Rock: The Rural Juror (#1.10)" (2007)

Jenna Maroney: I've been booked on the view!
Pete Hornberger: Oh Jenna, that's great. For the first time in your life you'll be in a room full of women and you'll be the least crazy one.
Jenna Maroney: I know.

Barbara Walters: [on The View] Let's get personal. Your father Werner was a burger server in suburban Santa Barbara.
Jenna Maroney: Yes, that's right.
Barbara Walters: When he spurned your mother Verna for a curly-haired surfer named Roberta. Did that hurt her?
Jenna Maroney: It was hard on all of us, yes.
Barbara Walters: Flurg murg glurg flurg murg murg murg tennis murg murg. Was a murg murg flurg?
Jenna Maroney: I'll always be his little girl.
[cries]
Barbara Walters: [puts her hand on Jenna's shoulder] Glurg.

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"30 Rock: Reunion (#3.5)" (2008)

Jenna Maroney: [bursting into Tracey's dressing room] Kenneth is a monster!
Tracy Jordan: We have to stop him!

Kenneth Parcell: [drying his tears] I'm so sorry, Miss Maroney.
Jenna Maroney: No, keep crying. I want you to feel this so you never make this mistake again.

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"30 Rock: The Break-Up (#1.8)" (2006)

Jenna Maroney: That guy wanted to buy you a drink!
Liz Lemon: Really? But I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?

Jenna Maroney: Do you think those guys work on Wall Street?
Liz Lemon: Yeah. I think they're from the firm Date Rape, Cokington, Cheeseball and Jag.

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"30 Rock: Pilot (#1.1)" (2006)

Pete: Okay, marry, kill: Oprah, bin Laden, and Jenna.
Liz Lemon: What did I tell you about playing that game with people in the room?
Jenna Maroney: No Liz, it's okay.
Frank: Okay, well I'd marry Oprah, for the money. I do bin Laden for revenge and then his own people would kill him. And I'd kill Jenna.

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"30 Rock: The Fighting Irish (#1.17)" (2007)

[at the NBC Fitness Center]
Jenna Maroney: What class do you wanna take?
Liz Lemon: Uh, anything that doesn't have the word "strip," "salsa," or "beats" with a "z" in the name of it.
Jenna Maroney: Cardio Hip-Hop Groove it is, then.

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"30 Rock: The Aftermath (#1.2)" (2006)

Liz Lemon: Tracy has... mental health issues.
Jenna Maroney: He bit Dakota Fanning on the face!
Liz Lemon: When you hear his versions she was kind of asking for it.

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"30 Rock: Flu Shot (#3.8)" (2009)

Jenna Maroney: They need medicine. And what's the best medicine?
Tracy Jordan: Medicine?

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"30 Rock: Jack Gets in the Game (#2.2)" (2007)

Jenna Maroney: Me want food!

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"30 Rock: Do-Over (#3.1)" (2008)

Jenna Maroney: [Speaking to a group of friends] I got a residual check for that Japanese commercial I did! Three hundred dollars! I'm going to use the money to buy us all new boots for myself.

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"30 Rock: Episode 210 (#2.10)" (2008)

Liz Lemon: Look at those floors. I would walk all around inside of that.
Jenna Maroney: [Jenna walks in, Lemon quickly closes her laptop] Hey, what's up?
Jenna Maroney: Are you looking at porn? I know a good site that's dirty without sacrificing story. It's by women, for women.
Liz Lemon: No, I'm looking at real estate.

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"30 Rock: Jack Meets Dennis (#1.6)" (2006)

Jenna Maroney: How's the sex?
Liz Lemon: Fast and only on Saturdays. It's perfect.

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"30 Rock: Apollo, Apollo (#3.16)" (2009)

Jenna Maroney: The reason I speak with a slight English inflection in my voice is because I lost my virginity to the My Fair Lady soundtrack.

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"30 Rock: Retreat to Move Forward (#3.9)" (2009)

Kenneth Parcell: What can I do for you, Miss... Jimplin?
Jenna Maroney: [using the method to prepair for her Janis Joplin role] Well according to my Wikipedia page, I'm gonna need some Cherry juice, Buttermilk and Tequila to make my signature Janice Joplin cocktail: the Frank-schlong.

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"30 Rock: Stone Mountain (#4.3)" (2009)

Jenna Maroney: [Jenna has followed the boys into the mensroom] Oh wow, they painted the ceiling in here!

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"30 Rock: Sandwich Day (#2.14)" (2008)

Jenna Maroney: Shots? What am I, 12 and at my boyfriend's frat party?

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"30 Rock: Black Tie (#1.12)" (2007)

Jenna Maroney: We gotta boogie, gang!

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"30 Rock: The Funcooker (#3.14)" (2009)

Jack Donaghy: Lemon is right, Jenna, obviously you can't do both TGC and Jenny Jimplin.
Jenna Maroney: I choose the movie. My face is bigger on movies.
Jack Donaghy: No, I don't mean quit, I mean Liz will find a way to make both work. Am I right, Lemon?
Liz Lemon: Well, I'll have to use you less in the show...
Jack Donaghy: And I'll schale back the movie. We could cut the lesbian scene.
Jenna Maroney: But the Oscars love that kind of scene.
[Lemon gives her a look]
Jenna Maroney: There's two guys in my gym named Oscar.

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