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Quotes for
Brian Miller (Character)
from "Still Standing" (2002)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Still Standing: Still Good Cop (#1.13)" (2003)
Bill Miller: [looking at the pizza Judy brought home] Wow. Sausage, onion and bacon.
Brian Miller: I thought we weren't allowed to have this kind of pizza since Dad's Night of a Thousand Trombones.
Judy Miller: Oh, that's why we have windows.

Brian Miller: Well, I can't go upstairs - Count Chocula might be hiding under my bed.

Judy Miller: How was karate?
Brian Miller: I broke a board with my head.
Judy Miller: Really?
Brian Miller: Well, actually I lost my balance trying to kick and fell into a wall, but a board did break.

Brian Miller: This house is out of control! We need boundaries!
[Tina enters, face smeared with chocolate cake]
Brian Miller: Look at this! You're all sticky! Come on. We're gonna get you a bath and a hot meal.
Tina Miller: Thank you, Brian.

Brian Miller: Randy Moskaut is only 14 and he gets to drive the car all the time!
Judy: ...You don't have a friend named Randy Moskaut!
Brian Miller: Yeah, ok, but mom...

"Still Standing: Still Seceding (#2.23)" (2004)
Brian Miller: Hey! Guys! You will not believe what happened at school today. I've been placed in the accelerated math program at Northwestern University.
Bill Miller: Well, serves you right.

Judy Miller: We've been waitin' up for you all night. We thought you were lyin' in a ditch somewhere.
Brian Miller: If you were waiting up all night, then why does Dad have pillow marks all over his face?
Bill Miller: They're... worry lines.
Brian Miller: Why did you worry on only one side of your face?

Judy Miller: When you stay out late, how do we know you're not lyin' in a ditch somewhere?
Brian Miller: Where is this ditch you keep talking about?
Judy Miller: They're around.

"Still Standing: Still Cheating (#1.7)" (2002)
Eric: [while watching TV with Bill] Now we're out of beer.
Bill Miller: Ah, maybe it's just as well. It'll give me some more time to spend with my kids.
Bill Miller: Brian!
Brian Miller: [from upstairs] What?
Bill Miller: Come down here. I wanna talk to you.
Brian Miller: [coming down] Really?
Bill Miller: Yeah. How ya doin'? Gimme a beer.
Eric: Wow, Bill, that's not very nice.
Bill Miller: No, no, hold on, Brian. Eric's right. Grab him one , too.

Judy Miller: [settling in to watch TV with Bill] You wanna beer?
Bill Miller: Yeah.
Judy Miller: Get me one, too.
Bill Miller: [calling] Brian!
Brian Miller: [from upstairs] Get your own beer!

Bill Miller: I'm a good guy, right?
Brian Miller: Dad, before you go any further, if you and Mom are breaking up, I'm going with HER.

"Still Standing: Still Cheering (#1.6)" (2002)
Bill Miller: You never told me you were on the debate team.
Brian Miller: Yes, I did.
Bill Miller: No, you didn't.
Brian Miller: Yes, I did.
Bill Miller: Oh, you're good!

Brian Miller: People in the front, let me heard you grunt - eh!

"Still Standing: Still Excelling (#1.17)" (2003)
Judy Miller: There's nothing funny about your sister being in honor science.
Brian Miller: [chuckling] Well, you want me to stop laughing but you keep saying it.

Brian Miller: So let me get this straight: You want me to help you help Lauren cheat.
Bill Miller: Preferably without her knowing.
Brian Miller: Are there ANY rules in this house anymore?

"Still Standing: Still Admiring (#3.18)" (2005)
Brian Miller: [on the prospect of dating a college student] Dad, what am I thinking? She's it! She sleeps in a dorm with other hot women; I sleep in jammies with a humidifier.

Brian Miller: [irate, about Bill and Judy catching him kissing a girl in his bedroom] Haven't you two ever heard of KNOCKING?
Judy Miller: [seriously but then giggling] Yeah, we just never thought we'd have to.

"Still Standing: Still Interfering (#2.8)" (2003)
Judy Miller: [about her son's new girlfriend] Don't you think sometimes she can be a bit bossy?
Brian Miller: Mom, she's a female who will kiss me who's not my aunt. You make sacrifices.

Brian Miller: She dumped me.
Judy Miller: What?
Brian Miller: She dumped me.
Judy Miller: What?
Brian Miller: Please don't make me say it again.
Judy Miller: What was her reason?
Brian Miller: I don't know. I could barely hear her through all the crying.
Judy Miller: Aw, she cried?
Brian Miller: No. I'll be in my room.

"Still Standing: Still the Bad Parents (#2.3)" (2003)
Brian Miller: [snooping through Bill's wallet] One hundred sixty-five pounds? Yeah, maybe on the moon!

"Still Standing: Pilot (#1.1)" (2002)
Bill Miller: [in response to his son asking for advice on catching a girl's interest] So, what's your plan of action?
Brian Miller: Well, I've just been helping her with her school work, and carrying her books, listening to her problems...
Bill Miller: Well, that's all well and good, son, if you wanna become a member of the Never-touch-a-booby tribe.
Brian Miller: The what?
Bill Miller: Close the door, son. Help is here.

"Still Standing: Still Sisters (#1.18)" (2003)
Brian Miller: [with Bill coming through the front door] Thank God you're home!
Bill Miller: [stopping halfway in] Why? Maybe I'm not.
Brian Miller: It's just that Mom's been...
Bill Miller: Bye-bye.

"Still Standing: Still Dreaming (#2.9)" (2003)
Bill Miller: Brian, why is the TV off?
Brian Miller: Because I turned it off.
Bill Miller: Oh, God, I thought it was broken.

"Still Standing: Still Petting (#1.20)" (2003)
Judy Miller: Dr. Gerber spent a lot of money to train his dog to understand commands in German
Lauren Miller: Why German?
Brian Miller: Well, because German in such a guttural language, the dog's more likely to respond to your commands.
Bill Miller: So, German, huh?
Judy Miller: Hm.
Bill Miller: Schnitzel - fetchen me bratwurst unt beerenstein. T'h. Some training. He's just stairin' at me.
Judy Miller: Hmm, like you're an idiot.

"Still Standing: Still Got It (#2.5)" (2003)
Lauren Miller: I used to be popular, but now that I'm in high school I'm just a big loser like Brian.
Brian Miller: [calling out from the other room] I heard that!

"Still Standing: Still in School (#1.3)" (2002)
Brian Miller: What's a water bra?
Bill Miller: It's a very cruel trick, son.

"Still Standing: Still Bill's Dad (#2.14)" (2004)
Judy Miller: [putting on coat] Don't tell the kids.
Bill Miller: [putting on coat] You're right , we don't want to panic 'em.
Brian Miller: [entering] Panic me about what?
Bill Miller: Nothing. You're mother and I just have to rush down to the hospital.
Brian Miller: The hospital?
Bill Miller: It's no big deal. If you need us we'll be in the cardiac arrest ward.
Brian Miller: The cardiac ward?
Judy Miller: [now outside] Nice job not panicking him, Bill.
Bill Miller: [now outside] What? At least I didn't tell him it was Grandpa.
Brian Miller: [from behind the closed front door] Grandpa?

"Still Standing: Still Responsible (#2.12)" (2004)
Bill Miller: Hello, fellow slaves.
Brian Miller: Dad, when is Mom gonna get better? It's been days.
Lauren Miller: Yeah. All this work keeps makin' me look forward to school, and that's just not right.

"Still Standing: Still Scamming (#3.1)" (2004)
Lauren Miller: [about Bill & Judy] They're being really nice to me. It's... It's creepy.
Brian Miller: Oh, yeah, they think you're depressed.
Lauren Miller: [laughing] What?
Brian Miller: Yeah, I heard 'em talk about it. So, uh, can I have your stereo when they put you away?

"Still Standing: Still Out of the Loop (#4.14)" (2006)
Brian Miller: Did Lauren take the car?
Judy: No, her friend took her to the Green Day concert.
Brian Miller: But that was cancelled.
Judy: Cancelled?
Brian Miller: Yeah, last week. She knew that.
Judy: She lied to me? I don't believe it, your dad was right about her and Nick?
Brian Miller: Ni-Nick. Nick-who?
Judy: Nick Defalco
Brian Miller: Nick Defalco?
Judy: Yeah, Lauren said he's some doofy kid from school.
Brian Miller: Slick Nick? Nick the trick, knows his way around a chick?
Judy: They write poems about him!

"Still Standing: Still Stressing (#2.18)" (2004)
Brian Miller: Yeah, I watched a training video for two hours. It seemed like a waste of time.
Bill: Yeah. A waste of time you got paid for... otherwise known as a job.

"Still Standing: Still Advising (#3.13)" (2005)
Judy Miller: Brian, what's the matter? You've been starin' at that book for over an hour.
Brian Miller: I don't wanna talk about it.
Tina Miller: He's got a crush on a girl at school.
Brian Miller: [darkly] Shut up.
Tina Miller: [unphased] Her name is Carrie Tyler and she doesn't know he's alive.

"Still Standing: Still Rocking (#1.4)" (2002)
Brian Miller: I suck at basketball and guys pick on me.
Judy Miller: Well, maybe you could tell the gym teacher to talk to those boys.
Bill: Yeah, and while you're hanging on the flagpole by your jockstrap, look around, see if you can find a new school.

"Still Standing: Still Narcing (#2.13)" (2004)
Coach Walters: I have to say I'm very disappointed. I wouldn't have expected this behavior from Brian.
Brian Miller: I didn't do anything.
Bill Miller: Yeah, we believe you, son. What did he do?
Coach Walters: I'd rather not say in front of the fairer sex.
Bill Miller: [turning slowly to see Judy] Oh, her? You gotta be kiddin' me.