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Quotes for
Linda Michaels (Character)
from "Still Standing" (2002)

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"Still Standing: Still Getting Married (#3.22)" (2005)
Linda Michaels: [sitting at a restaurant] Ooo, this is nice. What's the occasion? Why'd we have to get all dressed up?
Judy Miller: Well, I thought we'd go out for a nice dinner and talk about what kind of bachelorette party you'd like.
Linda Michaels: Well... I guess I'm too old for strippers and drinking.
Judy Miller: No, you're not.
Linda Michaels: Oh, good! Let's do that!

Linda Michaels: [entering front door with Perry] Hello. We're back from the honeymoon.
Judy Miller: [cheerfully] Aloha! How was Cleveland?

Perry: I'm now officially in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.
Linda Michaels: Yeah, he wrote his name on the bathroom wall.
Bill Miller: I'm in the Baseball Hall of Fame.


"Still Standing: Still Excelling (#1.17)" (2003)
Linda Michaels: It's so nice to see you guys have finally taken an interest in junior high. Only took you 25 years.
Bill Miller: Hey, when you have kids, I'm sure you and donor sample 3256'll feel the same way we do.

Linda Michaels: Okay, listen up, 'cause I got some hot gossip.
Bill Miller: Yeah, yeah. Your cat's having kittens; you don't know who the father is.


"Still Standing: Still Scoring (#1.14)" (2003)
Judy Miller: Linda told him she was 27.
Linda Michaels: He'll find out my real age when the time is right.
Bill Miller: He'll find out when the light is right.

Linda Michaels: Oh, I'm so thirsty. Can I have a sip of your water?
Judy Miller: Yeah, sure.
[hiding incapacitating physical soreness, nudges bottled water over with her foot]
Judy Miller: Go ahead.
Linda Michaels: Do you mind handing it to me?
Judy Miller: Do I have to drink it for you, too?


"Still Standing: Still Groping (#2.16)" (2004)
Linda Michaels: Wow. That Johnny is a great guy, don't you think? He's kind. He's polite.
Judy Miller: He just grabbed my ass.


"Still Standing: Still Got It (#2.5)" (2003)
Linda Michaels: Does your wife let you put your feet up on the coffee table?
Danny 'Fitz' Fitzsimmons: Wife doesn't care where I put my feet. It's my hands she's got rules about.


"Still Standing: Still in School (#1.3)" (2002)
Judy Miller: So what happened last night?
Linda Michaels: Yeah... A lady doesn't kiss and tell.
Judy Miller: Honey, a lady doesn't wear last night's cocktail dress to a pancake breakfast.


"Still Standing: Still Responsible (#2.12)" (2004)
Linda Michaels: [unable to interest Helen in hearing about her A in psychology] Oh! Judy's running a fever. Maybe I should prep myself for surgery in case she needs my marrow.


"Still Standing: Still Interfering (#2.8)" (2003)
Linda Michaels: Let me get this straight: You broke up Brian from the love of his life and Bill taught some jock how to get lucky with your daughter. Why don't you go for the hat trick and kill Tina's gerbil?


"Still Standing: Still Stressing (#2.18)" (2004)
Linda Michaels: Any idea on how to ditch a third wheel?
Bill: Once I figure it out, you'll be the first to know.


"Still Standing: Still Champions (#2.22)" (2004)
Judy: I used to work out all the time!
Linda Michaels: Running from the cops is not working out!