Quotes for
Fairy Godmother (Character)
from Cinderella (1950)

Shrek 2 (2004)

Fairy Godmother: I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted! And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried and smothered in chocolate...

Fairy Godmother: I told you ogres don't live happily ever after!

Fairy Godmother: Don't you point those dirty, green sausages at me!

Fairy Godmother: Harold, you have forced me to do something I really don't want to do.
King: What... Where are we?
Fast Food Clerk: Well, hi there! Welcome to Friar's Fat Boy. May I take your order?
Fairy Godmother: My diet is ruined. I hope you're happy!

Shrek: Hi. I'm here to see...
Receptionist: The Fairy Godmother? I'm sorry, she's not here right now.
Fairy Godmother: [on intercom] Jerome! Coffee and a Monte Cristo! Now!

Fairy Godmother: Your fallen tears have called to me / So here comes my sweet remedy / I know what every princess needs / For her to live life happily / With... just a wave of my magic wand / Your troubles will soon be gone / With a flick of the wrist in just a flash / You land a prince with a ton of cash / A high priced dress made by mice no less / Some crystal glass pumps and almost dressed / Worries will vanish your soul will cleanse / Confide in your very own furniture friends / We'll help you set a new fashion trend / I'll make you fancy, I'll make you great / The kind of gal a prince would date / They'll write your name on the bathroom wall...
Bookcase: For happy ever after, give Fiona a call!
Fairy Godmother: A sporty carriage to ride in style / A sexy man-boy chauffer Kyle / Vanish your blemishes, tooth decay / Celulite thighs will fade away / And oh, what the hey? / Have a Bichon Frise / Nip and tuck here and there / To land that prince with the perfect hair / Lipstick liners, shadow blush / To get that prince with a sexy tush / Lucky day, hunk buffet / For the lipstick a roll in the hay / You can spoon on the moon / With the prince to this tune / Don't be drab, you'll be fab / Your prince will have rock-hard abs / Cheese souflee Valentine's Day? / Have some chicken fricassee...

Fairy Godmother: Remember, happiness is just a teardrop away...

Shrek: Fiona! Fiona!
Fairy Godmother: Fiona! Fiona! Ho, ho, ho... I don't think they can hear us, pigeon.

Fairy Godmother: He endured blistering winds and scorching deserts - he climbed the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower - and what does he find? Some gender-confused WOLF telling him that HIS princess is already married!
King: Well, it wasn't my fault - he didn't get there in time!

Prince Charming: [waving his sword] Tell me where he is, Mother! I will wrench his head from his shoulders - I will smite him where he stands - HE WILL RUE THE VERY DAY HE STOLE MY KINGDOM AWAY FROM ME!
[a bird sheds its droppings on him]
Fairy Godmother: Oh, Put it away, Junior, you're still going to be King - we just need to work out something smarter, that's all...

Donkey: [after just being snuck up on and scratched by Puss In Boots] Owww! You little hairy litter-licking sack of...
[tear lands onto card]
Fairy Godmother: ["Voice Message" Bubble forms after landing] Is it on?, Is it on?
[clears throat]
Fairy Godmother: This is Fairy Godmother. I'm either away from my desk or with a client, but if you come by the office, we'll be glad to give you a personal appointment. Have a Happy Ever After!
[bubble pops]

Fairy Godmother: Harold! you were supposed to give her the potion!
King: Well, I guess gave her the wrong tea.

Fairy Godmother: We have to go. I have to do Charming's hair. You know, he's all high in the front and he can't reach the back. He always needs someone to take care of the back.
Prince Charming: Oh, thank you, mother.
Donkey: [outside window] Mother?
Shrek: Uh... Mary! A talking horse!
Fairy Godmother: The ogre!

Fairy Godmother: What in Grimm's name are you doing here?
Shrek: It seems that Fiona is not at all happy.
Fairy Godmother: Oh, and is there any question as to why that is? Let's explore that, shall we?
[looks over her bookshelf]
Fairy Godmother: Let's see... P-p-p-p-p, Princess. Cinderella... Handsome prince, lived happily ever after... oh, no ogres! Sleeping Beauty... handsome prince, no ogres. Thumbelina, no! Handsel and Gretel, no! The Golden Bird, the Little Mermaid, Pretty Woman... no, no, no, no, NO! You see, ogres don't live happily ever after.

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"Faerie Tale Theatre: Cinderella (#4.5)" (1985)

Fairy Godmother: Honey, where are your glass slippers?
Cinderella: Oh, Fairy Godmother, something terrible happened. I was kicking the stones as I was walking down the cobbleway...
Fairy Godmother: What?
Cinderella: [Whips out the glass slippers] Gotcha!

Fairy Godmother: I love my work.

Fairy Godmother: What's reality, does anybody know?
[disappears]

[after having transformed the step-mother and step-sisters into rabbits]
Fairy Godmother: I've been wanting to do that for a long time.

Cinderella: But Fairy Godmother, isn't it a little cruel to turn them into rabbits?
Fairy Godmother: They'll be back to normal at midnight.
Prince Henry: Midnight? Midnight! Then that explains...
Fairy Godmother: Not only handsome, but smart.

Fairy Godmother: Honey, I'm your fairy godmother. Didn't you see me "poof" next to you?

Cinderella: But Fairy Godmother, isn't it a little cruel to turn them into rabbits.
Fairy Godmother: They'll be back to normal at midnight.
Prince Henry: Midnight? Midnight! Then that explains...
Fairy Godmother: Not only handsome, but smart.

Fairy Godmother: [after having transformed the step-mother and step-sisters into rabbits] I've been wanting to do that for a long time.

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Cinderella (1950)

Fairy Godmother: What in the world did I do with that magic wand? I-I was sure I...
Cinderella: Magic wand?
Fairy Godmother: That's strange. I-I always...
Cinderella: Why, then you must be...
Fairy Godmother: Your Fairy Godmother? Of course. Now, where is that wand? I- Oh! I forgot. I put it away.
[Literally pulls the wand from thin air]

[the Fairy Godmother appears as Cinderella sobs]
Cinderella: Oh, no. No, it isn't true. It's just no use. No use at all. I can't believe. Not anymore. There's nothing left to believe in. Nothing.
Fairy Godmother: Nothing, my dear? Oh, now you don't really mean that.
Cinderella: Oh, but I do...
Fairy Godmother: Nonsense, child. If you'd lost all your faith, I couldn't be here. And here I am.

[as the Fairy Godmother casts her spell]
Fairy Godmother: [singing] Salaga-doola, menchika-boola, Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo. Put them together, and what have you got? Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo. Salaga-doola, menchika-boola, Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo. It will do magic, believe it or not, Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo. Now, "Salagadoola" means, "A-Menchika-boola-roo," but the the thingamabob, that does the job, is "Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo."

[after creating a coach, horses, a coachman, and a footman for Cinderella]
Fairy Godmother: Well, hop in my, dear. We can't waste time.
Cinderella: But, uh...
Fairy Godmother: Uh, uh, now, now, now, don't-don't try to thank me.
Cinderella: Oh, I wasn't... I mean, I do, but-but don't you think my dress...
Fairy Godmother: Yes, it's lovely, dear, lov...
[realizing]
Fairy Godmother: Good Heavens, child! You can't go in that.

Cinderella: Why, it's like a dream. A wonderful dream come true.
Fairy Godmother: Yes, my child, but like all dreams, well, I'm afraid this can't last forever. You'll have only 'til midnight, and then...
Cinderella: Midnight? Oh, thank you.
Fairy Godmother: Oh, now, now, now, now, now, just a minute. You must understand, my dear: On the stroke of twelve, the spell will be broken, and everything will be as it was before.
Cinderella: Oh, I understand, but... it's more than I ever hoped for.

---

Cinderella (1997) (TV)

Fairy Godmother: But the world is full of zanies and fools / Who don't believe in sensible rules/ And won't believe what sensible people say / And because these daft and dewey-eyed dopes / Keep building up impossible hopes / Impossible / Things are happening everyday

Fairy Godmother: Impossible! / For a plain yellow pumpkin to become a golden carriage / Impossible! / For a plain country bumpkin and a Prince to join in marriage!

Fairy Godmother: Cinderella, if you really love him, why don't you let him know?
Cinderella: How can I? Look at me.
Fairy Godmother: Do you really think he fell in love with your fancy gown and your pretty braids?
Cinderella: I don't know anymore and if you hadn't help me...
Fairy Godmother: You didn't need my help. You just thought you did. Believe in yourself, Cinderella, and trust him to love you as you really are.

Fairy Godmother: Impossible, for a plain yellow pumpkin to become a golden carriage/Impossible for a plain country pumpkin and a prince to join in marriage. A slipper made of glass is just a shoe and dreamers never make the dream come true. Impossible.

---

Hey Cinderella! (1969) (TV)

Fairy Godmother: [dancing with Splurge] Oh Splurge, I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you with your mask on!

Cinderella: [as the clock strikes midnight] Oh my goodness, I have to go!
Prince Arthur Charming: Oh, but you haven't even had any ice cream and cake.
Fairy Godmother: Step on it!
Cinderella: I'm coming!
Prince Arthur Charming: Whoever heard of not staying for the ice cream and cake?
Cinderella: I... I know but...
Prince Arthur Charming: Hey, don't you want to see Dad open his presents?
Cinderella: But, thank you for a lovely evening and please thank your father...
Prince Arthur Charming: Wait! The night is young!
Cinderella: Goodbye!
[Cinderella runs from the palace, accidentally leaving a glass slipper behind]
Prince Arthur Charming: [following] Hey wait a minute! I don't even know who you...
[there is the sound of glass breaking as he steps forward]
King Goshposh: Hey, what was that you stepped on son?
Prince Arthur Charming: I don't know. It looks like it used to be some sort of glass shoe...

Fairy Godmother: With one wave of my magic wand, I will turn you from a puppet into a real boy!
Cinderella: Oh, but I don't want to be a real boy.
Fairy Godmother: Oh, of course you don't! Glad I thought of him though, I think I left him in a whale somewhere.

Fairy Godmother: [performing on stage] And now, for all you horse-drawn coach fans, dispataci!
[the pumpkin she is enchanting turns into a payphone booth with the phone ringing. She enters and answers it]
Fairy Godmother: Hello? No, I will *not* accept the charges!

---

Twice Upon a Time (1983)

Fairy Godmother: Call me F.G.M. I hate excess verbiage.

Rod Rescueman: [Flying in with fanfare] Hello.
The Fairy Godmother: Yes, who are you?
Rod Rescueman: My name is Rod Rescueman.
The Fairy Godmother: And what do I learn from that?
Rod Rescueman: My name.

Rod Rescueman: I'm a super hero!
Fairy Godmother: You're kidding
Rod Rescueman: I'm actually not a full fledged one, I'm on my learner's permit but that's almost as good.
Fairy Godmother: You have a resume, perhaps I could check something out?
Rod Rescueman: Yeah I do, right here. It's a blank piece of paper but it is notarized and it's legal signed.
Fairy Godmother: You've made my day! If only I could give you a little test you could show me that you're capable of doing...
Rod Rescueman: I've got an idea!
Fairy Godmother: Yes?
Rod Rescueman: Why don't you give me a test?
Fairy Godmother: There's an idea!
Rod Rescueman: Thank you!
Fairy Godmother: Let me think of something... Here we go, I though of it so very quickly, let's pretend that I'm a damsel in distress.
Rod Rescueman: You'll be the damsel in distress.
Fairy Godmother: Better me than you.
Rod Rescueman: Well I couldn't rescue myself, that doesn't count.
Fairy Godmother: It really doesn't.
[flies up onto her desk]
Fairy Godmother: OK, to make it a little more interesting I will be a damsel in distress currently on fire.
Rod Rescueman: At this moment, on fire.
Fairy Godmother: Here we go.
[lights a ring of fire around her]
Fairy Godmother: Oh, help! Damsel in distress currently on fire! Oh, help!
Rod Rescueman: This is the test where I show you...
Fairy Godmother: This is where you jump in and do something!
Rod Rescueman: Alright, you're on fire...
Fairy Godmother: Currently!
Rod Rescueman: Excuse me ma'am! Superheros are very polite!
Fairy Godmother: [fire stops blazing] Skip polite, go right back!
[fire starts blazing again]
Fairy Godmother: I now feel molecules charing internally!
Rod Rescueman: Gotchya!

Fairy Godmother: Oh, help! Damsel in distress currently on fire!
Rod Rescueman: Would you like to be rescued?
Fairy Godmother: [fire stop blazing] More than life itself!
[fire begins to blaze again]
Rod Rescueman: Let me just suck those flames up then!
[sucks flames into his mouth]
Fairy Godmother: My hero!
Rod Rescueman: Thank you!
[blows out flames all over the fairy godmother turning her black and crispy with the top of her wand eventually falling off]
Fairy Godmother: Oh, jeez! This is pain!
Rod Rescueman: Do I get the job, or should we move right onto the shark infested waters test?
Fairy Godmother: I'll give you the job, you'll get out of here!

---

The Slipper and the Rose: The Story of Cinderella (1976)

Fairy Godmother: You're not meant to understand it. You're meant to accept it. Graciously.

Fairy Godmother: I suppose I shall simply have to rise to the occasion and do something spectacular, yet again. And spectaculars always take so much out of me... It was the same with Snow White. All the same, you young girls: never do as you're told! Men are MUCH easier.

Fairy Godmother: No one will recognize you for what you are. People seldom do.

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Cinderella (1965) (TV)

[last lines]
Fairy Godmother: [singing] Impossible things are happening every day!

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The Adventures of Cinderella's Daughter (2000)

Fairy Godmother: Look at you. You've been sleeping by the fireplace again, haven't you.
Queen Cinderella: I don't ever want to forget who I am.

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Cinderella (1977)

Fairy Godmother: Which one of ya honkeys got my bag?

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Cinderella (1957) (TV)

Fairy Godmother: All the dreamers in all the world are dizzy in the noodle!

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Happily N'Ever After (2006)

Fairy Godmother: Time to get your prince, my dear Mozzarella!
Ella: It's Cinderella.
Fairy Godmother: Really? Why'd you change it?

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