C.K. Dexter Haven
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Quotes for
C.K. Dexter Haven (Character)
from The Philadelphia Story (1940)

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High Society (1956)
Mike: Didn't you once know a girl named Tracy Samantha Lord?
Dexter: Yes, I did.
Mike: No, you didn't! If you did, you wouldn't have let her go!

Dexter: Uncle Willy, this morning you look like a tree full of owls.

Mike: Don't dig that kind of crooning, chum.
Dexter: You must be one of the newer fellows.

Dexter: [hits Mike, turns to George] She's not your wife yet and she *was* mine you know.
[George stalks off, Dexter turns to Mike]
Dexter: Thought I'd better get in first, he's in much better shape.
Mike: You'll do.

George Kittredge: That sounds like Tracy's voice.
Dexter: No, no. It's just the night watchman.
George Kittredge: It's a woman's voice.
Dexter: Well he's a lyric tenor you see.

Mrs. Lord: George told us what happened. Your father will make an announcement.
Tracy: Oh thank you. No, no, I got myself into this, I'll get myself out. Ooh.
Dexter: Go. Go.
Tracy: [Opens the door to address the guests] Good morning
[to the organist]
Tracy: Will you stop that racket? Good morning. I'm afraid there's been a slight hitch. My fiancé that was... that is... he's decided we should call it a day and I quite agree with him and... oh Dexter help me please?
Dexter: Say "two years ago I did you out of a wedding in this house by eloping to Maryland"
Tracy: Two years ago I did you out of a wedding in this house by eloping to Maryland.
Dexter: "But I hope to make it up to you now by going through with it as originally planned."
Tracy: But I hope to make it up to you now by...
[looks at Dexter, he nods and smiles]
Tracy: by going through with it as originally and most beautifully planned.
Dexter: "So if you'll just keep your seats a moment"
Tracy: So if you'll just keep your lovely seats a moment
Dexter: "That's all"
Tracy: That's all
[shuts the door]
Tracy: . Oh Dexter, are you sure?
Dexter: No, but I'll risk it if you will.
Tracy: You're not just doing it to save my face?
Dexter: It's such a sweet old face.

Caroline Lord: Dexter? This is Caroline.
Dexter: Hello, beautiful!
Caroline Lord: Any time now.

Tracy: I'm such an unholy mess of a girl.
Dexter: Oh, come on, that's not even good conversation, Tracy.

Tracy: One thing's for sure. You're well rid of me.
Dexter: Oh, no, no-one can say that but me.

Dexter: Hey, skipper, when do we eat?
Tracy: Now.
Dexter: Boy, you've been at it long enough.
Tracy: It's bride's prerogative.
Dexter: It's just I don't like you out of my sight for so long.
Tracy: That's nice.

Mrs. Lord: This is Miss Elizabeth Imbrie and Mr Mike Macauley Connor. They're from Spy magazine.
Dexter: Spy? Say your tastes have changed a little haven't they, Sam?

Louis Armstrong: You could play football in this room.
Dexter: I know, but can you rehearse?
Louis Armstrong: Is that chandelier tied tight up there?
Dexter: If it gets to swinging a little put a mute in your horn.

Dexter: You'll find it under Harvard Classics. Just give Darwin a little nudge.

Mike: Have you heard the story of a boy a girl, unrequited love?
Dexter: Sounds like pure soap opera.
Mike: I may cry.
Dexter: Tune in tomorrow.

Uncle Willie: I can't find Liz.
Dexter: I think I just saw someone wander out on to the terrace. Alone.
Uncle Willie: You don't say. The little vixen!
[leaves]
Dexter: Ollie ollie oxen free!
[Liz comes out of hiding]
Dexter: What's the matter? Uncle Willie giving you a little trouble?
Liz Imbrie: That man's gonna wind up a juvenile delinquent mark my words.

Liz Imbrie: Well, since Mike's disappeared I may as well go home.
Dexter: How about I take you home, then everybody will come looking for us.
Liz Imbrie: That's the nicest thing I've heard all night.

Mike: [Dexter is carrying a morning-after-the-night-before drink for Sam] Is that for me?
Dexter: It's for Sam, you want one?
Mike: You know how I feel about my grandmother but I'd sell her for a drink.
Dexter: Uncle Willie's in the pantry doing weird and wonderful things with healing waters. Tell him you'd like one of the same.
Mike: Can I ask for two?
Dexter: Keep going till you run out of grandmothers.
Mike: I'll be drinking a long time.

Tracy: I would like to talk to you privately.
Dexter: Well now, I consider that right neighborly.

Caroline Lord: Dexter, are you ever going to get married again?
Dexter: Sure I am, I'm just waiting for you to grow up.
Caroline Lord: Oh Dexter, for you I'll hurry.
Dexter: You're gonna have to.

Dexter: Oh Sam you're slipping. That used to terrify me, the withering glance of the goddess.

Dexter: They met in a hole in the ground.

George Kittredge: I have a feeling you had more to do with this than anybody. You and your whole rotten class.
Dexter: Oh class my...
Mike: grandmother!

Dexter: Liz, you're in love with Connor aren't you?
Liz Imbrie: People ask the darnedest questions.
Dexter: Why don't you marry him?
Liz Imbrie: I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.
Dexter: I said why don't you marry him?
Liz Imbrie: He's still got a lot to learn. I don't want to get in his way for a while.
Dexter: Supposing some other girl comes along in the meantime.
Liz Imbrie: I guess I'd just scratch her eyes out. Unless that is she was marrying someone else the next day.
Dexter: You're quite a girl Liz.
Liz Imbrie: I don't know. I take nice pictures though.

Mike: [drunkenly] If you had really know her, you would've
[hiccup]
Mike: never let her get away. You go hiccups.
Dexter: Excuse me.
Mike: It's alright.

Mike: I'm gonna dance.
Dexter: Don't get hurt.

Dexter: [singing] You're my bon ami.
Mike: Hey, that's French

George Kittredge: This is all your fault! You and your whole rotten class!
Dexter: Oh, class my...
Mike: ...Grandmother!


The Philadelphia Story (1940)
George Kittredge: [walks in on Tracy and Dexter together] Well, I suppose I should object to this twosome.
C. K. Dexter Haven: That would be most objectionable.

Macaulay Connor: Doggone it, C.K. Dexter Haven. Either I'm gonna sock you or you're gonna sock me.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Shall we toss a coin?

[Dexter has just proposed]
Tracy Lord: Oh Dexter you're not doing it just to soften the blow?
C. K. Dexter Haven: No.
Tracy Lord: Nor to save my face?
C. K. Dexter Haven: Oh, it's a nice little face.
Tracy Lord: Oh Dexter, I'll be yar now, I promise to be yar.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Be whatever you like, you're my redhead.

C. K. Dexter Haven: [looking for the "hair of the dog"] Do you s'pose, sir, speaking of eye-openers...?
Uncle Willie: Oh, that's the first sane remark I've heard today. C'malong, Dexter, I know a formula that's said to pop the pennies off the eyelids of dead Irishmen.

Tracy Lord: You hardly know him.
C. K. Dexter Haven: To hardly know him is to know him well.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Of course, Mr. Connor, she's a girl who is generous to a fault.
Tracy Lord: To a fault.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Except to other people's faults.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Sometimes, for your own sake, Red, I think you should've stuck to me longer.
Tracy Lord: I thought it was for life, but the nice judge gave me a full pardon.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Aaah, that's the old redhead. No bitterness, no recrimination, just a good swift left to the jaw.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Orange juice, certainly.
Tracy Lord: Don't tell me you've forsaken your beloved whisky and whiskies.
C. K. Dexter Haven: No-no-no-no. I've just changed their colour, that's all. I'm going for the pale pastel shades now. They're more becoming of me. How about you, Mr. Connor? You drink, don't you - alcohol, I mean?
Macaulay Connor: Oh, a little.
C. K. Dexter Haven: [Amused] A little? And you a writer? Tsk, tsk, tsk. I thought all writers drank to excess and beat their wives. You know, at one time I think I secretly wanted to be a writer.
[He and Tracy exchange scornful looks]

C. K. Dexter Haven: I thought all writers drank to excess and beat their wives. You know one time I secretly wanted to be a writer.

Tracy Lord: Dexter, say something.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Well, I...
Tracy Lord: Oh, Dexter, I'm such an unholy mess of a girl.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Well, that's no good. That's not even conversation.

Tracy Lord: You seem quite contemptuous of me all of the sudden.
C. K. Dexter Haven: No Red, not of you, never of you.

Macaulay Connor: [speaking of Tracy] What are her leading characteristics?
C. K. Dexter Haven: She has a horror of men who wear their hats in the house.
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: Leading characteristics to be filled in later.
Macaulay Connor: I can fill them in right now: the rich, rapacious, American female. There's no other country where she exists.
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: And would I change places with Tracy Samantha Lord for all her wealth and beauty? Oh boy just ask me.

C. K. Dexter Haven: I'm sorry, but I thought I better hit you before he did. He's in better shape than I am.
Macaulay Connor: Well you'll do!

C. K. Dexter Haven: Hello friends and enemies.
Uncle Willie: Young man, remove yourself!
C. K. Dexter Haven: How are you, sir?
Uncle Willie: I don't know. Get along! Get along!

C. K. Dexter Haven: The moon is also a goddess, chaste and virginal.
Tracy Lord: Stop using those foul words.

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: We've come for the body of Macaulay Connor.
C. K. Dexter Haven: I'm so glad you came. Can you use a typewriter?
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: No, thanks, I've got one at home.

Tracy Lord: Only for the moment, I'm not interested in myself.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Not interested in yourself, Red, you're fascinated. You're far and away your favorite person in the world.

Tracy Lord: Dexter, would you mind doing something for me?
C. K. Dexter Haven: Anything. What?
Tracy Lord: Get the heck out of here.

Macaulay Connor: What's this? Is it my book?
C. K. Dexter Haven: Yes.
Macaulay Connor: C. K. Dexter Haven you have unsuspected depth!
C. K. Dexter Haven: Thanks, old chap.
Macaulay Connor: But have you read it?
C. K. Dexter Haven: When I was trying to stop drinking, I read anything.
Macaulay Connor: And did you stop drinking?
C. K. Dexter Haven: Yes. Your book didn't do it though.

C. K. Dexter Haven: You'll never be a first class human being or a first class woman until you've learned to have some regard for human frailty.

Macaulay Connor: C.K. Dexter Haven, I would like to talk to you.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Well, let's go in the talking room.

George Kittredge: [Dexter has butted in] You keep out of this.
C. K. Dexter Haven: You forget I am out of it.

George Kittredge: But a man expects his wife to...
Tracy Lord: Behave herself. Naturally.
C. K. Dexter Haven: To behave herself naturally.
[George gives him a look]
C. K. Dexter Haven: Sorry.

Macaulay Connor: [calling outside his house] C.K. Dexter Haven! Oh, C.K. Dexter Haven!
C. K. Dexter Haven: [coming to the door in his pajamas] What's up?
Macaulay Connor: You are.
C. K. Dexter Haven: I only hope it's worth it. Come in.

Macaulay Connor: [drunk] I bring you greetings and Cinderella's slipper, champagne. Champagne is a great leveleler... leveleler. It makes you my equal.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Not quite.
Macaulay Connor: Well, almost my equal.

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: I remember your honeymoon quite well. You and she on a little sail boat, the "True Love", wasn't it?
C. K. Dexter Haven: Yes it was. How did you know?
Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: I was the only photographer whose camera you didn't smash. You were terribly nice about it. You threw it in the ocean.
Macaulay Connor: Oh, one of those.
C. K. Dexter Haven: Yes I had the strange notion that our honeymoon was our own.