Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes
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Quotes for
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes (Character)
from Iron Man 3 (2013)

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Iron Man (2008)
Rhodey: [eyeing the Mark II Iron Man suit] Next time, baby.

[last lines]
Tony Stark: There's been speculation that I was involved in the events that occurred on the freeway and the rooftop...
Christine Everheart: I'm sorry, Mr. Stark, but do you honestly expect us to believe that that was a bodyguard in a suit that conveniently appeared, despite the fact that...
Tony Stark: I know that it's confusing. It is one thing to question the official story, and another thing entirely to make wild accusations, or insinuate that I'm a superhero.
Christine Everheart: I never said you were a superhero.
Tony Stark: Didn't?
Christine Everheart: Mmm-mmm.
Tony Stark: Well, good, because that would be outlandish and, uh, fantastic. I'm just not the hero type. Clearly. With this laundry list of character defects, all the mistakes I've made, largely public.
Rhodey: [whispers to Tony] Just stick to the cards, man.
Tony Stark: Yeah, okay.
[holds up his notes and pauses]
Tony Stark: The truth is...
[puts cards down]
Tony Stark: I am Iron Man.

Rhodey: As liaison to Stark Industries, I have a unique privilege of serving with a real patriot. He is my friend, and he is my great mentor. Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to present this year's Apogee Award to Mr. Tony Stark!
[crowd applauds]
Rhodey: Tony?
[Stark is not present, so Stane approaches the stage]
Obadiah Stane: [accepting the award] Thank you, Colonel. This is beautiful. Thank you all very much. This is wonderful. Well, I'm not Tony Stark.
[laughter]
Obadiah Stane: But if I were Tony, I would tell you how honored I feel, and what a joy it is to receive this very prestigious award. Tony, you know, the best thing about Tony is also the worst thing - he's always working.
[cuts to Stark playing craps in a casino]

Rhodey: Hey Tony.
Tony Stark: I'm sorry. This is the fun-vee. The hum-drum-vee is back there.

Rhodey: [upon rescuing Stark] How was the fun-vee? Next time you ride with me, okay?

Rhodey: [talking over phone] What the hell is that noise?
Tony Stark: I'm driving with the top down.
Rhodey: Well, I need your help right now.
Tony Stark: Funny how that works, huh?
Rhodey: Yeah. Speaking of funny, we got a weapons depot that was just blown up a few klicks from where you were being held.
Tony Stark: Well, I'd say that's a hot spot. Sounds...
[takes a breath]
Tony Stark: ...sounds like someone stepped in and did your job for you.
Rhodey: Why do you sound out of breath?
Tony Stark: I'm not. I was just jogging in the canyon.
Rhodey: I thought you were driving.
Tony Stark: Right, I was driving... to the canyon... where I'm gonna jog.
Rhodey: You sure you don't have any tech in that area I should know about?
Tony Stark: Nope.
[Two F-22s rise behind Iron Man]
Rhodey: Good, because I'm looking at something right now and we're about to blow it to kingdom come.

Rhodey: [answering his phone during the attack on Iron Man] Hello.
Tony Stark: Hi, Rhodey, its me.
Rhodey: It's who?
Tony Stark: Oh, I'm sorry, it is ME. You asked. What your asking about, it's me.
Rhodey: No, you see, this isn't a game. You do not send civilian equipment into my active war zone. You understand that?
Tony Stark: It's not a piece of equipment, I'm in it! Its a suit! It's ME!

Rhodey: [seeing Stark in the Iron Man suit] That's the coolest thing I've ever seen.
Tony Stark: Not bad, huh?

Rhodey: You need me to do anything else?
Iron Man: Keep the skies clear.

Rhodey: [to Pepper at Tony's press conference after returning from Afghanistan] What's with the lovin'?

Tony Stark: [Tony and Rhodey are on Tony's elaborate plane sitting at a table. Rhodey is reading a newspaper] Whatcha readin'... platypus?
Rhodey: Nothin'.
Tony Stark: Come on sour patch.
Rhodey: I told you I'm not sour...
Tony Stark: ...don't be mad...
Rhodey: ...i'm not mad, i'm indifferent, ok.
Tony Stark: I said I was sorry.
Rhodey: You don't need to apologize to me cause I'm not mad.
Stewardess: Good morning Mr. Stark.
Tony Stark: [addressing the stewardess] Hi, I said I was sorry.
Rhodey: ...i'm just indifferent right now.
Stewardess: [to Tony] Hot towel?
Rhodey: You don't respect yourself so I know you don't respect me...
Tony Stark: ...I respect you...
Tony Stark: ...so I'm just your baby sitter. so when you need your diaper changed
[receives a hot towel from the stewardess]
Tony Stark: thank you
[readdresses Tony]
Tony Stark: let me know and I'll get you a bottle, ok?
Tony Stark: Hey! Heat up the saki will ya? Thanks for reminding me.
Rhodey: I'm not talkin about a... we're not drinking we're working right now.
Rhodey: You are institutionally incapable of being responsible.
Tony Stark: It would be irresponsible NOT to drink. I'm just talking about a night cap here.
Stewardess: Hot saki?
Tony Stark: Yes, 2 please.
Rhodey: No... just... I'm not drinking. I don't want any.
Rhodey: [queue to a scene where dancey lounge music is playing and Rhodey and Tony are drinking as a stripper pole comes out of the floor for the stewardesses to dance around] That's what I'm talking about, when I get up in the morning and I'm puttin on my uniform you know what I recognize? I see in the mirror that every person with this uniform on, GOT MY BACK!
Tony Stark: you know, i'm not... i'm not... like you... aren't you just a little distracted right now?
Rhodey: you don't have to be like me, but you can be more and you just don't see it. No I can't be distracted right now!

Rhodey: [standing by Stark's airplane] Three hours! Three hours you've kept me standing here!
Tony Stark: [walking past him] Waiting on you now.

Tony Stark: [playing Craps] We're gonna let it ride! Give me a hand, will you? Give me a little something-something.
[woman blows on his dice]
Tony Stark: Okay, you too.
Rhodey: I don't blow on a man's dice.
Tony Stark: Come on, honey bear.
[Rhodey taps Tony hand causing him to roll the dice]
Tony Stark: There it is. Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes rolls! And...
Dealer at Craps Table: Two craps. Line away.
Rhodey: That's what happens.
Tony Stark: Worse things have happened.

Rhodey: The future of air combat... Is it manned, or unmanned? I'll tell you in my experience, no unmanned aerial vehicle will ever trump a pilot's instinct.

Rhodey: Oh, my God, you crazy son of a bitch! You owe me a plane, you know that, right?
Tony Stark: [chuckling] Yeah, well, technically he hit me, so...

[an Air Force base prepares to scramble fighters when Iron Man appears on the radar again. Rhodey appears and hangs up the phone]
Rhodey: Not necessary, people. Just a training exercise.


Iron Man 2 (2010)
[from trailer]
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: This lone gunslinger act is unnecessary... you don't have to do this alone!
[the War Machine rises from a platform]

Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: *I* think it's weird. You look like two seals fighting over a grape.
Tony Stark: Hey, you weren't supposed to be listening to that. Get lost.
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: I was here first. Get a roof.

Tony Stark: [Rhodey has just launched the "ex wife" weapon, which bounces off Vanko with no effect] Hammer Tech?
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: [Looks dejected] Yeah.

Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: [regaining consciousness] Oh man, you can have your suit back.

Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: Tony, look, I'm sorry.
Tony Stark: Don't be.
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: No, I should have trusted you.
Tony Stark: I'm the one who put you in this position. Forget it.
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: No, it's your fault. I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

Iron Man: You have *a* big gun, you're not *the* big gun.
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: Tony, don't be jealous.
Iron Man: No, it's subtle, all the bells and whistles.
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: Yeah, it's called "being a badass"!

Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: I got something special for this guy. I'm gonna bust his bunker with the Ex-Wife.
Tony Stark: The what?

Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: [arriving at Stark's birthday party, seeing a drunk Tony in his Iron Man suit shooting bottles and produce out of the air]
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: I don't believe it... I just stuck my neck out for this guy!

Tony Stark: Sorry, pal, but Iron Man doesn't have a sidekick.
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: Sidekick *this*!
[hits Tony with barbell]

Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: [aiming their repulsar beams at each other] Put your hand down.
Tony Stark: You think you got what it takes to wear that suit?
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: We don't have to do this, Tony.
Tony Stark: You wanna be the War Machine, take your shot.

[after reviewing Hammer's inventory of weapons]
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: I'll take it.
Justin Hammer: Which one?
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: All of it!

Tony Stark: I didn't expect to see you here...
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: Well, it's me, and I'm here, so get over it and move on!

Iron Man: Rhodey, get down!
[activates an energy blade that cleaves through all the droids]
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: Mm. I think you should lead with that next time.
Iron Man: Yeah, sorry, Boss, I can only use it once. It's a one-off.

[to Stark's birthday guests]
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: [in Mark II suit] I'm only going to say this once. Get out!
[the guests leave in a panic]
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: [to Stark] You don't deserve to wear one of these. Shut it down!


Iron Man 3 (2013)
Colonel James Rhodes: [sees Trevor] THIS is the Mandarin?
Tony Stark: I know, right? It's embarrassing!

Colonel James Rhodes: [points a gun at Trevor] Tony, I swear, I'm going to blow his face off.

Colonel James Rhodes: This is how you've been managing your downtime, huh?
Tony Stark: Everybody needs a hobby.

[President is wearing the Iron Patriot armor]
Colonel James Rhodes: You look damn good, Mr. President. But I'm gonna need that suit back.

Colonel James Rhodes: Give me a suit.
[holds out arms]
Tony Stark: Sorry, they're only coded to me. Don't worry, I got you covered.
[a suit approaches Rhodey]
Jarvis: Good evening, Colonel. Can I give you a lift?
Colonel James Rhodes: Very funny.

Colonel James Rhodes: Are you okay?
Tony Stark: I broke the crayon.

Tony Stark: I'm gonna find a heavy-duty comm sat now, I need your login.
Colonel James Rhodes: It's same as it's always been, "WarMachine68."
Tony Stark: And a password, please.
Colonel James Rhodes: Well, look, I gotta change it every time you hack in, Tony.
Tony Stark: It's not the '80s, nobody says "hack" anymore. Give me your login.
Colonel James Rhodes: "WAR MACHINE ROX" with an "X," all caps.
Tony Stark: [laughs]
Colonel James Rhodes: Yeah, okay.
Tony Stark: That is so much better than "Iron Patriot."

Sweat Shop Agent: Savin? I've acquired the Patriot armor.
Colonel James Rhodes: If you want this suit, you're going to have to pry my cold dead body out of it.
Sweat Shop Agent: That's the plan, Colonel.

Colonel James Rhodes: We couldn't save the President with the suit, how are we going to save Pepper with nothing?
Tony Stark: Uh... say, Jarvis? Is it that time?
Jarvis: The House Party Protocol, sir?
Tony Stark: Correct.
[the suits activate]


Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)
[Rhodey and Stark use their armored hands to TRY to budge Thor's hammer]
James Rhodes: Are we even pulling?
Tony Stark: Are you on my team?
James Rhodes: Just represent! PULL!

James Rhodes: [to Stark] So, no Pepper? She's not coming?
Tony Stark: No.
Maria Hill: [to Thor] What about Jane? Where are the ladies. gentlemen?
Tony Stark: Oh, Ms. Potts has a company to run.
Thor: Yes, I'm not even sure what country Jane's in. Her work on the Convergence has made her the world's most foremost astronomer.
Tony Stark: And the company that Pepper runs is the largest tech conglomerate on Earth. It's pretty exciting.
Thor: There's even talk of Jane getting a, um,
[pause]
Thor: Nobel Prize.
Maria Hill: Yeah, they must be pretty busy, because they'd hate missing you guys get together.
[coughs]
Maria Hill: Testosterone!
James Rhodes: Oh, my goodness.
Maria Hill: Excuse me.
Thor: Want a lozenge?
Maria Hill: Mm-hmm.
[Hill and Rhodey walk away, Stark and Thor both grin]
Thor: [to Tony] Jane's better.

James Rhodes: Well, you guys are definitely off the Pentagon's Christmas list.

James Rhodes: But, you know, the suit can take the weight, right? So I take the tank, drop it right off at the general's palace, drop it at his feet. I'm, like, "Boom. Are you looking for this?"
[Tony and Thor don't laugh]
James Rhodes: "Boom. Are you looking for..." Why do I even talk to you guys? Everyone else, that story kills.
Thor: That's the whole story?
James Rhodes: Yeah, it's a War Machine story.
Thor: Oh, it's very good, then. It's impressive.

James Rhodes: Oh no, I didn't say you could leave. War Machine, comin' at you, right a-...
James Rhodes: [Vision destroys some Ultron Sentries and flies past] Okay, what?

Tony Stark: Anybody remember when I carried a nuke through a wormhole?
James Rhodes: No, it's never come up.
Tony Stark: Saved New York?
James Rhodes: Never heard that.
Tony Stark: Recall that? A hostile alien army came charging through a hole in space. We're standing three hundred feet below it. We're the Avengers. We can bust arms dealers all the live long day, but, that up there? That's... that's the end game. How were you guys planning on beating that?
Steve Rogers: Together.
Tony Stark: We'll lose.
Steve Rogers: Then we'll do that together, too.
[Tony looks at him for a moment before turning away]
Steve Rogers: Thor's right. Ultron's calling us out. And I'd like to find him before he's ready for us. The world's a big place. Let's start making it smaller.


"The Super Hero Squad Show: Tales of Suspense! (#1.17)" (2009)
War Machine: Stop talking like you're Iron Man.
Iron Man: Stop talking like you're on Reading Rainbow.

Iron Man: What the heck? Rhodey, is that you under there?
War Machine: How did you know my... Hold up. If you are the real Iron Man, tell me something that only you would know.
Iron Man: You've been dating Squirrel Girl on the down low. Okay, your turn. Prove who you are. Tell me something only Rhodey would know.
War Machine: Uh, you once dated She-Hulk, but it ended when you discovered that she...
Iron Man: Gentleman don't discuss those things.

Crimson Dynamo: I am Crimson Dynamo. I am break you!
War Machine: I'm Rhodey. I'm a Sagittarius. Don't you watch the movies? The smaller guy always wins the fight.
Crimson Dynamo: I don't watch movies except Beaches. Bette Midler makes me...
[sniffles]
Crimson Dynamo: Popular entertainment is for the weak. Crimson Dynamo is strong!

Iron Man: Rhodey, how are ya? And why is my best friend wearing the mark II armor?
War Machine: Somebody had to. Since you've been leading the Super Hero Squad, I've had to cover all your other stuff. Work for Stark Industries, SHIELD, the Initiative, the Illuminati, that jelly of the month subscription that you never got around to canceling.
Iron Man: Jelly of the month clu- you mean the jelly that's hand delivered every month by super models?


The Invincible Iron Man (2007) (V)
Rhodey: Today you get to witness a 3,000-year-old city rise from the dead.

Rhodey: That's a first. You scared off a woman.
Tony Stark: Easy to do when you look like Frankenstein.

Rhodey: Why don't you just own up to it, Tony? You didn't trust me enough to be a part of this project.
Tony Stark: Rhodey ...
Rhodey: I mean, I'm your closest friend. I've always been in your corner.
Tony Stark: Come on, Rhodey. You're making this personal. We're friends. Why are you overreacting?
Rhodey: I'm the only one who sees it for what it is. Remember when your father took your stuff and put it into his weapon program, how betrayed you felt? Well, guess what, Tony. You're just like him.

Tony Stark: I have two orders of business. One
[opens the door]
Tony Stark: I am promoting James Rhodes to chief engineer for advanced technologies.
Rhodey: Thanks, man.
Tony Stark: You've earned it. And two, I'm handing control of the company over to my father.
Howard Stark: What?
Tony Stark: It's yours, Dad. The future of the company is now yours to decide.
Howard Stark: You know, I've always seen this as a father-son enterprise.
Boyer: Wonderful news, Tony, Howard. We'll support you both 110%.
Howard Stark: Shut up, Boyer. My first order of business...
Howard Stark: [to the board] you're all fired.


Captain America: Civil War (2016)
Lt. Col. James Rhodes: Secretary Ross has a Congressional Medal of Honor, which is one more than you have.
Sam Wilson: So let's say we agreed to this thing. How long is it gonna be before they lojack us like a bunch of common criminals?
Lt. Col. James Rhodes: 117 countries wanna sign this. 117, Sam, and you're just like, "Nah, it's cool."
Sam Wilson: How long are you gonna play both sides?
Vision: I have an equation.
Sam Wilson: [sarcastically] Oh, this'll clear it up.
Vision: In the 8 years since Mr. Stark announced himself as Iron Man, the number of known enhanced persons has grown exponentially. And during the same period, a number of potentially world-ending events has risen at a commensurable rate.
Steve Rogers: Are you saying it's our fault?
Vision: I'm saying there may be a causality. Our very strength invites challenge. Challenge incites conflict. And conflict... breeds catastrophe. Oversight... Oversight is not an idea that can be dismissed out of hand.
Lt. Col. James Rhodes: Boom!
Natasha Romanoff: Tony? You are being uncharacteristically non-hyperverbal.
Steve Rogers: That's 'cause he's already made up his mind.
Tony Stark: Boy, you know me so well. Actually, I'm nursing an electromagnetic headache. That's what's going on, Cap. It's just pain. It's discomfort. Who's putting coffee grounds in the disposal? Am I running a Bed and Breakfast for a biker gang?
[puts phone on table, screen pops up]
Tony Stark: Oh, that's Charles Spencer, by the way. He's a great kid. Computer engineering degree, 3.6 GPA. Had a floor-level gig, an intel plan for the fall. But first he wanted to put a few miles on his sole before he parked it behind a desk. See the world, maybe be of service. Charlie didn't wanna go to Vegas or Fort Lauderdale, which is what I would do. He didn't go to Paris or Amsterdam, which sounds fun. He decided to spend his summer building sustainable housing for the poor. Guess where: Sokovia. He wanted to make a difference, I suppose. I mean, we won't know because we dropped a building on him while we were kickin' ass... There's no decision-making process here. We need to be put in check! And whatever form that takes, I'm game. If we can't accept limitations, we're boundaryless, we're no better than the bad guys.
Steve Rogers: Tony, if someone dies on your watch, you don't give up.
Tony Stark: Who said we're giving up?
Steve Rogers: We are if we're not taking responsibility for our actions. This document just shifts the blame.
Lt. Col. James Rhodes: Sorry, Steve, that... that is dangerously arrogant. This is the United Nations we're talking about. It's not the World Security Council, it's not S.H.I.E.L.D., it's not Hydra.
Steve Rogers: No, but it's run by people with agendas and agendas change.
Tony Stark: That's good! That's why I'm here. When I realized what my weapons were capable of in the wrong hands, I shut it down. Stopped manufacturing.
Steve Rogers: Tony, you *chose* to do that. If we sign this, we surrender our right to choose. What if this panel sends us somewhere we don't think we should go? What if there's somewhere we need to go and they don't let us? We may not be perfect but the safest hands are still our own.
Tony Stark: If we don't do this now, it's gonna be done to us later. That's the fact. That won't be pretty.
Wanda Maximoff: You're saying they'll come for me.
Vision: We would protect you.
Natasha Romanoff: Maybe Tony's right. If we have one hand on the wheel, we can still steer. If we take it off...
Sam Wilson: Aren't you the same woman who told the government to kiss her ass a few years ago?

FedEx Driver: [At the door with a package] Are you 'Tony... Stank'?
Lieutenant James Rhodes: [cracks up] Yes. This is... this is Tony Stank. You're in the right place. Thank you for that!
[to Tony]
Lieutenant James Rhodes: Never dropping that, by the way.
[while walking off]
Lieutenant James Rhodes: Table for one, Mr. Stank. Please by the bathroom.

Spider-Man: Hey guys, you ever see that really old movie, Empire Strikes Back?
War Machine: Jesus, Tony, how old is this guy?
Iron Man: I don't know, I didn't carbon date him. He's on the young side.

Captain America: All right, Sam. What's the play?
Falcon: We need a diversion. Something big.
Ant-Man: I got something kinda big. But I can't hold it very long. On my signal, run like hell. And if I tear myself in half, don't come back for me.
Bucky Barnes: He's gonna tear himself in half?
Captain America: You sure about this, Scott?
Ant-Man: I do it all the time. I mean, once. In a lab. Then I passed out. I'm the boss, I'm the boss, I'm the boss. I'm the boss!
Spider-Man: [Ant-Man becomes giant] Holy shit!
War Machine: [Ant-Man laughs and grabs War Machine] Okay, tiny dude is big now. He's big now.
Captain America: I guess that's the signal.
Falcon: Way to go, Tic Tac!
Iron Man: Give me back my Rhodey.


Iron Man (2008) (VG)
Tony Stark: I'm not the problem here. It's the Maggia! They're the ones supplying criminals with weapons.
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: No! The problem, Tony, is you're fighting a war! And you're not a soldier!
Tony Stark: You're damn right I'm not! I'm an army! And I don't care how rich Maggia made me. I'm gonna bury them!

Iron Man: So, Rhodey. You're gonna be my "wingman?"
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: Everything's always a joke with you.
Iron Man: Who whizzed in your cornflakes, buddy?

Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: And who's holding down the company fort while you're out there?
Iron Man: Uh, not my problem. I'm the idea guy. I let suits like Stane handle the day-to-day.
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: You'll never change, Tony.
Iron Man: And why should I?


"Iron Man: Armored Adventures: The Dragonseed (#2.24)" (2012)
Pepper Potts: Ta-daaa! Armorina to the rescue!
War Machine: Armorina?
Pepper Potts: Too awesome? It's too awesome, right?

James Rhodes: [Pepper has armor now] She'll probably end up blowing up New Jersey.
Tony Stark: Let's hope it's just the Shore.


"The Incredible Hulk: Helping Hands, Iron Fist (#1.4)" (1996)
War Machine: Sorry, Busters. No fiddling on our roof.


"Iron Man: Armored Adventures: The Might of Doom (#2.8)" (2011)
Victor Von Doom: [removes War Machine's faceplate] What? You are nothing but a child!
James Rhodes: I'm enough of a man to take you down!


"Iron Man: Armored Adventures: The Hammer Falls (#2.21)" (2012)
War Machine: Justin Hammer is Titanium Man?
Iron Man: Makes sense: two jerks for the price of one!


"Iron Man: Armored Adventures: The Makluan Invasion Part 2: Unite! (#2.26)" (2012)
Iron Man: All right guys, this is it! The Makluans aren't messing around. This is full-scale invasion.
War Machine: No problem. Three of us versus sixty thousand aliens. It's a good thing I can go to the bathroom in my armor...