Telly Monster
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Quotes for
Telly Monster (Character)
from "Sesame Street" (1969)

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"Sesame Street: Linda Gets the Closed Caption Decoder (#21.67)" (1990)
Telly Monster: Why does she need that? She can watch TV.
Maria: Yeah, You don't just watch TV, You listen to it too. However, Linda can't hear it because she is deaf!
Telly Monster: Oh, That's no fun!
Maria: Not at all. But with this machine. Linda can just read the words on the screen.

Telly Monster: [Reading the words on the pretend television with Maria moving her lips and not making a sound] Hello, Telly! How are you?
Maria: YEAH!
Telly Monster: OH, THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE SAYING! WOW! I could not hear it, But I could read it!
Maria: That's right! And that's what this machine is going to do! It's going to make it possible for Linda to just read the words on the screen.
Telly Monster: But she can't, Her TV is Broken.

"Sesame Street: Hurricane: Part 1 (#32.61)" (2001)
'Sesame Street News' Announcer: And for the Sesame Street News update on the hurricane, We take you to Kermit the Frog.
Kermit the Frog: [to the crew] COULD SOMEBODY PLEASE CLOSE THAT DOOR?
[the crew slams the door]
Kermit the Frog: [to the viewer] Oh, Hi-ho! This is Kermit the Frog with a fast blowing news story: A hurricane could be heading towards Sesame Street. For more details, Here is our forecaster, Al Roker.
Al Roker: Thank you, Kermit. Here is where is Hurricane is now. I saw it down here to all the way up here.
Telly: What? A Hurricane? But what is it?
Zoe: Yeah, What is a hurricane?
Al Roker: A Hurricane is a wild wind storm with lots of wind and rain. And if keeps going up in this direction, It could hit Sesame Street.
Elmo: And it's gonna hit Sesame Street!
[Both screams in a panic attack]
Al Roker: Calm down everybody. We have a lot preparations before the hurricane hits.
Alan: You know something? I have been in a hurricane before. I have extra supplies of food and drinks and I have a flashlight incase of a power outage.

"Sesame Street: Big Bird Goes Fishing with Kids for Wolfgang (#27.116)" (1996)
Uncle Wally: Oh, Hello! Welcome to SESAME STREET!
[to Wolfgang]
Big Bird: You said it, Uncle Wally!
Uncle Wally: Uh, Big Bird. Wolfgang can't talk. It's only us we have to try to figure out.
Mr. Handford: What's going on here?
Big Bird: We are trying to figure out why Wolfgang won't stop barking.
Uncle Wally: What is he barking at?
Mr. Handford: Oh, I bet you. I know why. Do you see the sign that window? It reads "Today's Special: FISH"
Telly Monster: Is that what Wolfgang is Barking at?
Big Bird: I believe so. He has been waiting for you to open the store. So, He can get his fish.
Telly Monster: That's was I was thinking of.
Uncle Wally: Well, Wolfgang, Your problem is solved!
Mr. Handford: [Chuckles] Oh, no. They are not!
Telly Monster: They are not? But why not?
Mr. Handford: Because, That sign was yesterday's sign. I forgot to take it down.
Uncle Wally: Then if it's not fish. What is today's special?
Mr. Handford: Today's special is turkey!
Uncle Wally: That's today's special?
Big Bird: You mean there is no fish?
Mr. Handford: Nope.
Telly Monster: Aww, That makes Wolfgang so sad
[Wolfgang howls in disappointment]
Telly Monster: .

Follow That Bird (1985)
Oscar the Grouch: [driving into a junkyard] This is where I wanna be - grouch paradise! Just look it at. It's like a work of art.
Telly Monster: It is different, Maria.
Maria: Oscar, I want you to turn this car around right now and head for Toadstool!
Oscar the Grouch: Ah, an angry face in a beautiful place - heaven.

Don't Eat the Pictures: Sesame Street at the Metropolitan Museum of Art (1983) (TV)
David: I've got a real bad feeling that this museum is locked, and we are locked in the museum for the night.
Telly Monster: [greatly worried] David, what are we going to do now?
Oscar the Grouch: Well, I've got a suggestion. Let's panic!

"Sesame Street: Episode #20.101" (1989)
Telly Monster: Here's Bob in his spider costume.
Little Miss Muffett: A SPIDER?
[Screams in a panic attack]
Telly Monster: Ooooh, A long came a spider, And sat down beside her, and frighten Miss Muffett away.

"Sesame Street: Telly and Zoe Pretends to Get Married. (#27.121)" (1996)
Telly Monster: So, This is called the player piano.
Baby Bear: You mean, There is no invisible pianist?
Ruthie: No, Of course not. You see, When you open slide door you will see what I mean. The notes to the song are this scroll. The holes on the scroll makes the keys go down.
Telly Monster: So that's how a player piano works.
Zoe: Now can I ask my question?
Zoe: What is it, Zoe?
Zoe: Will you marry me?
Telly Monster: Huh?

Sesame Street, Special (1988) (TV)
Luis: Just look at *this*. Isn't it fantastic?
Maria: No it isn't, it's terrific.
Luis: Fantastic.
Maria: Terrific.
Luis: Fantastic!
Maria: Terrific!
Gordon: [singing] Can't you see that you both agree / What's the reason for this spat?
Susan: [singing] You like to say things this way / And you like to say things that.
Telly Monster: [singing] What a shame / It all means the same / There's no need to make a scene.
Elmo: [singing] There are lot's of ways to say the very same thing / If you know what I mean / SO...

Elmopalooza! (1998) (TV)
Telly: [after Jon Stewart and others are stuck in the dressing room] Oh, no! If they can't get out, that means there's no show. And if there's no show, then all those people who wanted to hear the music will be sad. And if all those people are sad, they might not go to work tomorrow! And if they don't go to work tomorrow, the economy will collapse! And if the economy collapses, the country... will be... DOOMED! DOOMED, I tell you! This is terrible!
Elmo: Easy! Easy! Easy! Easy! Easy. Easy, Telly. It's just a T.V. show.
David: [gasps] Watch your mouth, little guy! Now, I'd expect that attitude over on cable. But this is *network*!