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Quotes for
Laura Silverman (Character)
from "The Sarah Silverman Program." (2007)

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"The Sarah Silverman Program.: Muffin' Man (#1.5)" (2007)
Sarah Silverman: Ooh, ooh, Tig! Do you know how many, uh, lesbians it takes to screw in a light bulb?
Tig: Uh-uh, no.
[exits]
Sarah Silverman: Oh.
Brian: She should know that.
Sarah Silverman: Yeah.
Laura Silverman: I think it's three.

Officer Jay McPherson: Yeah, so my partner got supsended because this Hispanic kid pulls a gun on him, Paul opens fire. Turns out it's a pellet gun. It looked really real, though.
Laura Silverman: There should be a law that those things have to come in bright colors.
Sarah Silverman: Laura, they're human beings!


"The Sarah Silverman Program.: Face Wars (#2.3)" (2007)
Sarah Silverman: I'm the victim of a hate crime. It's true. The lady at the country club wouldn't let me play tennis because I'm Jewish.
Officer Jay McPherson: What?
Sarah Silverman: She was like, "What's your name? Silverman?... Get out Jew".
Laura Silverman: She said that?
Sarah Silverman: Yeah. Basically. With her eyes.


"The Sarah Silverman Program.: Batteries (#1.6)" (2007)
Sarah Silverman: Wait, why wasn't I invited?
Laura Silverman: Well, Natalie said you had some kind of emergency.
Sarah Silverman: Yeah, I stubbed my vagina.
Laura Silverman: You can stub it?
Sarah Silverman: I can, I don't know about you.