No Photo Available
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Charlie Salinger (Character)
from "MADtv" (1995)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Party of Five: Pilot (#1.1)" (1994)
Charlie Salinger: [Charlie picks up the phone to call for a nanny and realizes the phone is turned off] Bailey, the phone's been switched off. Why didn't you pay the bill?
Bailey Salinger: Why didn't I pay the bill?
[talking louder]
Bailey Salinger: Why didn't "I" pay the bill?

Charlie Salinger: Julia!
Claudia Salinger: She's kind of busy. I wouldn't interrupt...
Charlie Salinger: Julia, would you get down here? Julia!
[Julia arrives]
Julia Salinger: What the hell are you screaming about?
Charlie Salinger: Family conference, now!

Charlie Salinger: Claudia?
Bailey Salinger: What's the matter, Claud?
Claudia Salinger: I'm scared.
Bailey Salinger: Don't be.
Charlie Salinger: We'll work it out.
Claudia Salinger: [crying] This wouldn't have happened if Mom and Dad were here. Why aren't they here?

Claudia Salinger: Forget it. You can't tell me what to do.
Charlie Salinger: Oh, yes, I can. Read the guardianship agreement.
Bailey Salinger: Oh, would you shut up with that already, Charlie? A piece of paper does not make you a parent.

Charlie Salinger: [stammering] Me and Doug and... a friend of his we were gonna buy this... this co-op, and fix it up and sell it. The whole thing was gonna take a month tops. We would have doubled our money fast, no question. Except the guy... took the money and split.
Bailey Salinger: [stunned] How much money did you lose, Charlie?
Charlie Salinger: Twelve...
[long pause]
Charlie Salinger: thousand.
Julia Salinger: Of your own money, right?
[another long pause]
Bailey Salinger: [livid] Oh, great! So much for your lectures on responsibility, huh? Is this why you wanted control of the bank account? So you could blow it all yourself?
Charlie Salinger: Hey! I was trying to do something good here. This investment was for all of us. I was going to cut you all in on...
Bailey Salinger: [interrupting] Oh, save it, Charlie!

"Party of Five: Thanksgiving (#1.10)" (1994)
Bailey Salinger: God, you shouldn't have done that, Claud.
Charlie Salinger: [referring to Walter Alcott] We all agreed we weren't gonna see him.
Claudia Salinger: I know, but...
Bailey Salinger: So, what did you think you were doing, huh? Look, if you're not gonna listen...
Julia Salinger: Hey, lay off her, okay?
Claudia Salinger: You all got to see him. I never saw him. And I just... I needed to see what he looked like.
Bailey Salinger: So? How did he look?
Claudia Salinger: Normal, I guess. He kind of looked pretty nice. Like anyone. Like someone you would know. A little like Amy Patterson's dad. Isn't that weird?
Julia Salinger: What did you think he'd look like, Claud?
Claudia Salinger: I don't know. Ugly, kind of mean. He was NICE to people, in his store. And before he knew who I was, he called me "sweetheart".

Julia Salinger: Can't you even try and help here?
Charlie Salinger: What do you want me to do?
Julia Salinger: That's all you can say? Doesn't it bother you, what's happening to us? I mean, don't you care? How can you not have a damn thing to say?

Julia Salinger: I'm telling you, it's hard. But it's not the hardest thing in the world to say "I forgive you".
Charlie Salinger: Yes, it is.

Bailey Salinger: [in cemetery] It's getting kind of weedy over by Nana and Papa.
Charlie Salinger: I'll say something to the groundskeeper.

[last lines]
Charlie Salinger: Hey, you know what, Claud? You're it.
Claudia Salinger: What? Oh, no fair. No fair.

"Party of Five: Kiss Me Kate (#1.8)" (1994)
Charlie Salinger: Making up stories, writing them. It comes so naturally to you. You're a really good writer, Jule. And look, I'm not the best advice-giver or anything, but... I really think, whatever happens, you shouldn't give up writing. I mean, if you want to not get straight A's, I can understand. But, whatever you do, you should write about it.

Charlie Salinger: What are you doing?
Claudia Salinger: I wanna help.
Julia Salinger: You'll hurt your hands.
Claudia Salinger: But, Charlie, you asked me!
Charlie Salinger: What was I thinking about? A big star like you?
Bailey Salinger: Besides, an artist needs her sleep.
Claudia Salinger: It's okay. I don't care.
Julia Salinger: Go to bed, Claud.
Charlie Salinger: You owe it to your public.
[Claudia walks out]
Charlie Salinger: Too mean?
Julia Salinger, Bailey Salinger: Nah!

Charlie Salinger: I really, really need your help. What do you say?
Claudia Salinger: Sorry. Too risky.
Charlie Salinger: [to Julia and Bailey] You know, you can't buy love like that.

"Party of Five: Much Ado (#1.7)" (1994)
Charlie Salinger: What is it then, one strike and I'm out with you?
Kirsten Bennett: I guess so, yeah! Because, that's what happens when you cheat on me, and when you lie to me... while you make me fall in love with you! I really wish you hadn't done that.

Charlie Salinger: [alone with Claudia, talking about how he broke up with Kirsten] I'm sorry. But I'll fix this. I know Kirsten was great. I'm sorry...
[voice trails off]
Claudia Salinger: I think... I think I'm gonna go call Ross. Maybe he's free.
Charlie Salinger: I can take you to dinner.
Claudia Salinger: [shakes her head] I don't know why you do this stuff... but I wish you'd just stop.

[last lines]
Julia Salinger: We're gonna have to work out a schedule for the next few days... until the doctor says we can take him home.
Bailey Salinger: I'll take days if it means I get out of English.
Julia Salinger: I'll come by after school.
Bailey Salinger: Well, I can come back and give you a dinner break.
Charlie Salinger: Actually, I'd kinda like to do it in the evenings.
Bailey Salinger: There's no reason we can't overlap.
Julia Salinger: Claudia, I can bring you by first thing in the morning. Is that okay?
Bailey Salinger: Claudia?

"Party of Five: Spring Breaks: Part 2 (#2.22)" (1996)
Charlie Salinger: Did you get milk for Owen? We're completely out.
Bailey Salinger: [angry] Nope. Get it yourself.
Charlie Salinger: It's your turn. I got it last...
Bailey Salinger: Hey! You know what? Save it, Charlie! I don't need a lesson on how to take care of things, especially from a child like you!
Charlie Salinger: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Bailey Salinger: That's supposed to mean nice going at the restaurant today!
Charlie Salinger: Bailey...
Bailey Salinger: No, you really stood up yourself... for all of us, you pushover!
Charlie Salinger: Nothing good was going to come by making some kind of scene with Kathleen.
Bailey Salinger: How about a little self-respect? Huh? Maybe showing Claudia that you didn't just give the place away?
Charlie Salinger: What was I supposed to do? Confront Kathleen and tell her to leave? She's taking the restaurant to get back at me because I broke up with her. If I stood up against her, she would have called the police and had me arrested... and probably you and Joe too if you intervened. She then would have come after our money my making us liable for her investment group losing funds since she invested so much in the restaurant. She's taking the restaurant and who else knows what more crazy things she's capable of? What am I supposed to do? Tell me what you want me to do!
Bailey Salinger: No, Charlie! This is your problem! You brought this on yourself! You're the reason why Kathleen is doing this to us! This is all your fault for dating that woman in the first place! It's your problem! You deal with it! I am sick and tired of taking care of everything and worrying about everyone all the time, okay? I've had it with buying milk and diappers for Owen or fixing your screw ups! I've had it! Goodbye, Charlie!
Charlie Salinger: Wait a minute! This is something more besides the restaurant, right?
Bailey Salinger: [deflecting the question] No, this is about you! This is about your screw ups! And I don't get it, because if I were you, I would not be moping around here all day feeling sorry for myself, or getting into bar fights at night and getting arrested for being drunk and disorderly. If I were you, I'd be spending every single second of every single day trying to figure out how to fix this!

Jacob Gordon: Got to hand it you, Charlie, you've good at intregue. Can't meet at the house, too complicated to discuss on the telephone. You got me wondering.
Charlie Salinger: Hey, Jake. How have you been? How's your health?
Jacob Gordon: Oh, I can't complain. At least I haven't got a going-out-of-business sign stuck to the side of my restaurant. I'm guessing this isn't just an advertising ploy, huh?
Charlie Salinger: No, it's kind of bad. It's really bad. I'm in a jam and... uh, I can't figure out any way out of it on my own. To make a long story short, I used to date this woman named Kathleen Isley, a wealthy woman. A few weeks ago, I broke up with her and now she's put together this investment group and they're trying to buy this building housing the restaurant to close it down... for the sole reason to make me suffer for dumping her. Her investment group put a good offer to Montgomery, the guy who owns the building, and Joe is not wanting to fight it out and he's really selling the place. Nobody is talking to me right now. Everyone, including Joe, Bailey, Claudia, Julia... even my staff are blaming me for what is happening. For dating Kathleen, or dumping her, or both. I don't know. Maybe they're right, maybe they're wrong. Maybe this is all my fault.
Jacob Gordon: So, you called me. But... I'd figure after what happened between us I'd be the last person...
Charlie Salinger: Well, you're a businessman, right? Maybe there's some way to fix this. Some angle I haven't seen. There's got to be some loophole, or something that can stop the sale of this place from going through. You're thinking that I called you because I need something, right?
Jacob Gordon: Are you going to tell me different?
Charlie Salinger: [sighs] No, it's just... I'm sorry. I... I don't know what else to do. I'm completely out of options. Tonight's the last night. Joe's closing the place, so this is it. And if I don't come up with something fast, I mean before this sale goes through tomorrow, then it's... it's all gonna be gone. Just gone. Will you help me? No one else seems to be willing to.
Jacob Gordon: [after a pause] Let me make a few phone calls. I'll see what I can do.

Bailey Salinger: I want you to see something.
[Bailey shows Charlie a note, which Charlie picks it up and skims through it]
Charlie Salinger: You got into college? New Hampshire state?
Bailey Salinger: Yeah, I got in. It's pretty big for someone like me. And a real school, not a little community college thing. It's even better then that. How are we going to afford sending me to college? So I actually got someone to pay for it too. Jake was going to pay for it. A $40,000 scholarship. He was putting away money so that I can go to school.
Charlie Salinger: Man, that's great! Why didn't you say something sooner? We gotta celebrate, Bay.
Bailey Salinger: Right. I was not planing to tell anyone and just sneak away without a word. Only here's the thing, Charlie. Jake came to see me today and he told me that you went to him to ask for his help with the restaurant.
Charlie Salinger: Jake came to see you? Why would he...
Bailey Salinger: He said he could take care of things. That he could use his money to pay off, or give to the owners of the building, like... like a bribe not to sell to Kathleen's investment group. He could save the place... or he could send me to school. One or the other, but he can't do both. And he left it up to me. He... left it up to me!
Charlie Salinger: Bailey, I-I had no idea. He said he was going look into possiblities, and he hadn't got back to me so...
Bailey Salinger: [interrupting] You know what? Just shut up, Charlie! Sometimes I hate you so much. For what you did with Kathleen and the restaurant. This is all your fault! This was it. This was finally it! I was gonna take care of myself for once in my life. For once! And I was gonna get the hell out of here, out of this house, out of this city, out of this state, and away from this life and start my life all over again... legally change my name, and never come back here... ever. I was this close!
Charlie Salinger: So go. If you really want to move far away to go to college and change your name, sever all ties to the family and never come back here, never call or visit again... just go.
Bailey Salinger: Yeah, I'll explain that to Julia and Claudia when they find out that this was the one last chance I had to save the restaurant... our parents legacy and that I passed it up for...
Charlie Salinger: No. No one is gonna know. This will stay between you and me and Jake, and it never happened. The restaurant is history and you're going away to school. And I'm sorry, 'cause you're right about one thing. You deserve to get away from all this and you should go. I want you to go. I'm telling you to go, Bay.

"Party of Five: Fathers and Sons (#1.6)" (1994)
P.K. Strickler: Would it be cool if I uh... crashed on your sofa?
Charlie Salinger: Uh... I'll get some blankets.
Julia Salinger: You'll have to be quiet, though. My sister sleeps in the dining room in a tent.
P.K. Strickler: Your sister sleeps in a tent?
Julia Salinger: [chuckles] Kind of a weird family.
P.K. Strickler: Well... You have no idea.

Joe Mangus: Are you gonna walk out on me now? Oh, excuse me. I forgot who I was talking to.
Charlie Salinger: Hey, you know what? I am sick of you telling me what's wrong with me. And I'm fed up with being reminded every day, that I'm not half the man my father was. Especially when it turns out that he wasn't everything he was cracked up to be. I'm not the one who screwed up your business. Blame that on the management whiz. The guy who never lost his cool, saw everything coming. My father did this to you.

"Party of Five: The Intervention (#3.20)" (1997)
Bailey Salinger: I drink.
[long pause]
Bailey Salinger: Has anyone seen my coat?
Claudia Salinger: That's it?
Bailey Salinger: Yeah, Claud, that's it.
Claudia Salinger: [sobbing] No. No, no, no, no, no, no. I can't take this, Bailey. I mean, you can't do this anymore.
Bailey Salinger: Claudia...
Claudia Salinger: No, Bailey, I mean it, that's it. That's it. I will not stand by and let you slowly kill yourself by drinking to death. If you don't get help, I don't wanna see you. You can't talk to me, and you can't talk to Owen, and you can't come over to the house, and I'm not gonna come see you and I'm not gonna call you and I'm not even gonna think about you.
Charlie Salinger: Claudia...
Claudia Salinger: No!
Claudia Salinger: [to Bailey, crying] I love you. More than anyone else.
[long pause]
Claudia Salinger: I love you the best. You know that. This is the only thing I have that I can take away from you. To make you stop. Either you get help right now, or get outta here!
[after a long pause, Bailey exits the room without a word]

Joe Mangus: Bailey, your father was an alcoholic... just like you. Belive me, I was there. I've known him all my life. He was sober for 18 years before he died. But for many years before that, years...
Bailey Salinger: Bull! That's a load of crap! I don't believe you! I thought that you couldn't get any lower then what they did. Lying about Owen. Saying he was hurt to get me to come over here, but you... you son of a bitch!
Joe Mangus: Come on, Bailey.
Bailey Salinger: What do you think? You think that just because he's dead you can say anything you want about him?
Joe Mangus: He'd want you to know if he were alive right now. He'd want me to tell you.
Bailey Salinger: My father was not an alcoholic! I am NOT an alcoholic! Get out of here, Joe. Get the hell out of here! I don't need to listen to this!
[to Charlie]
Bailey Salinger: Have you heard this load of crap? Have you? Or, hey this was probally your genius idea, right? Let's get Joe to say that Dad... Nick Salinger, was a drunk and then maybe...
Charlie Salinger: Joe... is that true?
Julia Salinger: [as Joe nods] I don't believe it.
Bailey Salinger: You see?
Charlie Salinger: He didn't... I would have known.
Joe Mangus: You were just a little kid when he quit, Charlie. You were only six when he stopped drinking for good. You were probably too young to recognize the signs.
Charlie Salinger: What signs?
Joe Mangus: As far back as you can remember to when you were six, do you remember him coming home from the restaurant late every night, and I would always be with him when he walked in the front door?
Julia Salinger: That doesn't mean... look, he had a business to run.
Charlie Salinger: He liked hanging out with you and the guys late after work, shooting the bull...
Joe Mangus: And drinking... a lot.
Julia Salinger: No.
Joe Mangus: Honey, I was the one who had to drive him home night after night from the restaurant because he was so drunk that he couldn't drive himself. That's why I was always with him when he came home. Remember, Charlie?
Julia Salinger: [to Charlie] Did he?
Charlie Salinger: [in denial] I don't know. I don't remember.
Joe Mangus: Come on. I think you do. Don't you remember the fights and arguments he had with your mother afterwords? The shouting behind closed doors? It was very bad for a long time. If he hadn't gotten the help he needed when he did, he might not have lived to...
Julia Salinger: But I never saw him drunk or take a drink in my life. Not once. Not even a bottle of beer or a glass of wine.
Joe Mangus: That's right. And why do you think? Not a drop, not an ounce, nothing. He owned a restaurant. Hell, he owned a bar. Why never a sip? Because he knew he couldn't... ever. That's what it's like to be an alcoholic.

"Party of Five: Games People Play (#1.12)" (1994)
[first lines]
Kirsten Bennett: Hello.
Charlie Salinger: Kirsten.
Kirsten Bennett: Hi.
Charlie Salinger: Hi. God, it's good to see you.

[last lines]
Charlie Salinger: [to Kirsten] Okay... I'm not going anywhere.

"Party of Five: Spring Breaks: Part 1 (#2.21)" (1996)
[Joe has just bailed Charlie out of jail]
Joe Mangus: You want to tell me what the hell's going on with you?
Charlie Salinger: Not now, Joe.
Joe Mangus: [angrily grabs Charlie] Yeah, now Charlie! You owe me considering I just spent $2,500 of my own money to bail you out of jail, not to mention arrange your court date for this!
Charlie Salinger: [desperate] Look, this whole thing is not my fault! Okay? Only... nobody seems to be listening to me... not even you. When I broke up with Kathleen, I had no idea that she was gonna do this to get back at me! I had no idea that she would turn into such a psychotic and vindictive bitch! Yet, everyone is thinking that this is all my fault for...
Joe Mangus: [rudely cutting him off] First of all, I don't give a damn who's fault it is! The fact is that it happened and you gotta deal with it! You dated that woman, you led her on, you dumped her, and now she's trying get back at you by buying and closing down the restaurant. You're the manager and owner of the restaurant, and it's your responsibility for what happens to it... so actually this does make it all your fault! I mean look at you! Look at yourself! Is this how you deal with things? Is this your way of handling a crisis? You go out to a bar, you get drunk, and you start punching people? What are you? Sixteen?
Charlie Salinger: I'm sorry you got dragged into this, Joe. What do you want me to say? I'm sorry that I ever met Kathleen. I'm sorry that I dumped her. I'm sorry that I got arrested. I'm sorry about all this! I handled it badly! Can we just go? Can you just take me home? I really don't want to talk about this anymore.
Joe Mangus: Charlie, I don't get you. You've got a lot going for you. You know that. Yet, you're either too stupid or too insecure or too immature to see it. You're raising the kids. They're doing great. You did a beautiful job running the restaurant. You had Kirsten, an incredible woman. And yet... what do you do every time? Anything good comes along, you always find a way to screw it up!
Charlie Salinger: [beat] Thanks again for bailing me out. I'll pay you back for this, I promise.
Joe Mangus: [still angry] Yeah... I know you will. Just get in the car and shut up! I don't want to talk to you anymore or even look at you either!

[last lines]
Charlie Salinger: I'm sorry. I'm just... I screwed up. I screwed everything up. I'm a mess. Nothing is going right for me and I've lost things that... that matter so much. Important things. And I'm just trying to remember a time when everything wasn't falling apart, you know, when everything was okay. And that was... the only time when we were... when I was with you. There are some things I know I can't fix, but maybe... maybe this. I love you, Kirsten, and I want you back.
Kirsten Bennett: Charlie...
Charlie Salinger: No. Look, let me finish. I know that there are things we need to talk about, and I know I'm just springing this on you and it's sudden, but I think we can make this work. I really do.
Kirsten Bennett: You're too late. I met someone. His name is Michael. He's an associate professor in the department, and we've been... seeing each other for a while. We're getting married, Charlie. We're getting married next week.

"Party of Five: Private Lives (#1.11)" (1994)
[first lines]
Bailey Salinger: Charlie!
Charlie Salinger: What the hell are you doing?
Bailey Salinger: What the hell am I doing? What the hell are you doing sneaking around the house?
Charlie Salinger: I forgot my keys, okay?

Claudia Salinger: Boy, something sure smells good.
Charlie Salinger: Well, then, it's not Owen!

"Party of Five: Going Home (#3.6)" (1996)
[Charlie is talking to Bailey about Claudia phoning Kirsten's parents]
Charlie Salinger: God, talk about stupid! Like those two people ever made a situation better in their entire lives. Claudia shouldn't have done that! She shouldn't have called them!
Bailey Salinger: You're right. She shouldn't have. You should have.
Charlie Salinger: What?
Bailey Salinger: As soon as Kirsten got sick, you should have picked up the phone and told Gene and Ellie about what's happening with Kirsten. They're her parents. They have a right to know what's going on with her.
Charlie Salinger: Look, Kirsten asked me not to tell them. Okay? She literally begged me not to. She didn't want anyone to know about her mental problems, not even her parents.
Bailey Salinger: [scoffs] Oh, like she's thinking real clearly these days?
Charlie Salinger: What do you want? You want to give me a hard time like you always do? Is that it?
Bailey Salinger: Yeah. Yeah, I do.
Charlie Salinger: Yeah, well you know what, Bailey? You're not here. You're not around anymore since you moved out. You drift in a few times a month to steal toilet paper and do your laundry, and you think you have the right...
Bailey Salinger: [interrupting] You know what? I don't need to to live here to see that keeping Kirsten's parents in the dark about her mental condition is not the smartest thing...
Charlie Salinger: [cutting him off] I'm telling you, Bailey. You don't know what's going on around here! I was handling this fine on my own! You don't know what's going on around here with Kirsten and you have no idea how I'm dealing with it! Instead of waltzing in with an opinion about everything, why don't you just do us all a favor and just butt out! I don't need your help or your advice! I can handle this on my own!
[Charlie exits while Bailey shakes his head]

"Party of Five: Happily Ever After (#2.20)" (1996)
Bailey Salinger: Look, I know that you guys probaly don't want to hear this... but I think we should be open to the posibility that maybe this is it for us. You know, maybe he just... split.
Claudia Salinger: No way.
Charlie Salinger: What do you mean split?
Bailey Salinger: I mean, he's had enough. And he's gone. Possibly... forever. He's never coming back. He's done it before. He walked out on Mom and Grandmom without a note or reason why, and they both never saw him again. Think about it. We don't have a telephone number where we can call him in Arizona... assuming that's where he is. When he goes away, he never leaves a phone number, right? And he said that he was going to be back two days ago, and he's still not back. So...
Julia Salinger: You really think we may not see him ever again? That's a weird feeling. What if you're right?
Charlie Salinger: You guys, all his stuff is still here.
Bailey Salinger: So what? Do you think he... when he walked out on Mom and Grandmom that he packed? No, he didn't. Don't you remember the story Mom once told us? He left in the middle of the night with no note or explanation, leaving behind a wife and daughter to fend for themselves... never to return. All he took was maybe one suitcase with whatever clothes and stuff he had with him, he got in his car, drove away and that was that. He never came back for the rest of his clothes or belongings.
Claudia Salinger: No! No, you're wrong. Something horrible happened. He like... forgot his blood pressure medication or something. He could be lying in a hospital in a coma somewhere
[Claudia goes to a phone and begins dialing a number]
Charlie Salinger: Hey, what are you doing?
Claudia Salinger: [into the phone] Operator? Can you give me the phone numbers to all the hospitals in Arizona?
[to the Salingers]
Claudia Salinger: He wouldn't just leave! I know he wouldn't!

"Party of Five: All's Fair (#1.5)" (1994)
[first lines]
Kirsten Bennett: What time is it, Charlie?
[holds up Charlie's watch]
Charlie Salinger: You stole my watch?
Kirsten Bennett: I found it in my medicine cabinet. Let's try to keep these little clues to a minimum while my mum's in town. She's an old fashioned girl.

"Party of Five: A Little Faith (#3.24)" (1997)
Julia Salinger: Charlie, do you think I'm selfish?
Charlie Salinger: Incredibly. Why?
Julia Salinger: No, I really mean it.
Charlie Salinger: Okay. Selfish in what way?
Julia Salinger: Well, Griffin is buying a motorcycle shop with the money he's got from his court settlement and it's like this really great opportunity for him. You know?
Charlie Salinger: And that's bad because?
Julia Salinger: No, no. It's good. Good for Griffin.
Charlie Salinger: But not for you?
Julia Salinger: Well, yeah. Because we can't do any of the stuff I thought we were gonna do together and... I don't know. It's just that everything was going great and I thought we wanted the same things. And now all of a sudden, he wants something that is, like, totally different. And I just... I don't know where to put that. You know what I mean?
Charlie Salinger: Yeah. I sort of do. I guess the question you got to ask yourself is which is more important? Griffin or all that stuff you want. Is it something you can work out? Is it really worth working out?

"Party of Five: Where There's Smoke (#2.7)" (1995)
Charlie Salinger: I got nothing else to say to you, Jule, except I told you so about Griffin.
Julia Salinger: Look, I know you're mad. I get that.
Charlie Salinger: No, you don't, 'cause "mad" doesn't even come close!
Julia Salinger: Will you just listen? I talked with the lawyer assigned to Griffin's case. He said that this whole thing will go away if Theo drops the grand theft charges.
Charlie Salinger: Well, he's not going to do that.
Julia Salinger: He will if you talk to him. I mean, if you explain that Griffin made a mistake...
Charlie Salinger: [interrupting] A mistake? Julia, he stole money from our restaruant! He deserves to get what's comming to him!
Julia Salinger: Charlie, please! You don't know what's going on. You don't know how horrible Griffin's home life is.
Charlie Salinger: I don't care! Okay? Julia, get a clue here! The guy is a loser! He is wrong for you!
Julia Salinger: His dad let him spend the night in jail. Did you know that? He wouldn't even come down to the police station to visit him, and he woun't pay for a decent lawyer. You should see how his dad talks to him. If you saw that, maybe you'd understand and...
Charlie Salinger: And what? I'd feel sorry for him and forget what he did?
Julia Salinger: Why do you think Griffin spends nights here and avoids going home? Why do you think he has bruises on his face every other week?
Charlie Salinger: Because he's a troublemaker.
Julia Salinger: No! Becuase his own dad hits him for no reason on a daily basis. Since Griffin is too angry and ashamed to talk about what's going on at home, people see the buises on his face and think he gets into fights. That's why he has a bad reputation. That's not true. He's just a lonely, abused, mistreated guy who doesn't know how to deal with issues because he has no one else, beside me, in his life.
Charlie Salinger: Once again, I don't care! Why do you think that? Why do you think his dad beats him? Because Griffin is a loser! His dad is a loser! So was Jill, and probally their mother too. Just because his own father hits him does not give Griffin the right to go out and hit other people, or cut classes, or provoke fights and arguments with his teachers, his bosses, or classmates... or steal money from our resaurant!
Julia Salinger: God, Charlie! Griffin could go to prison!
Charlie Salinger: Yeah, well you know what? So could I! The only difference is that I didn't do anything wrong!

"Party of Five: Aftershocks (#1.16)" (1995)
Charlie Salinger: You're high.
Jill Holbrook: Uh... what?
Charlie Salinger: You're on something.
Jill Holbrook: [trying to laugh it off] I am not! God...
Charlie Salinger: Last night too, after the earthquake, you were bouncing off the walls, babaling...
Jill Holbrook: I was scared. Same as two million other people in this city. Same as Claudia.
Charlie Salinger: It's speed, right?
Jill Holbrook: You are crazy! I am not...
Charlie Salinger: In college, I lived with a guy who did speed. He would take what he called "uppers" in order to stay awake all night studying for exams. His hyped behavior was just like yours. His eyes looked exactly like yours do right now, kind of glazed.
Jill Holbrook: Wow, what'd I ever do to you?

"Party of Five: The Wedding (#2.9)" (1995)
Charlie Salinger: You don't understand, Kirsten. I can't do this!
Kirsten Bennett: Yes. Yes, you can.
Charlie Salinger: Why won't you listen to me?
Kirsten Bennett: I am listening to you! What I am not doing is indulging you.
Charlie Salinger: What?
Kirsten Bennett: You're scared. Well, hello... yes, it's scary. I'm scared too. Getting married is scary. You're panicked. Well, who isn't the morning of their wedding? But you make a choice. You either decide that it's second thoughts, or if you love me, Charlie, you decide that it's nervous anticipation and you go back downstairs. And when the minister asks "do you take this woman?", you say "I do".
Charlie Salinger: No! No, you don't understand! I say that and I'm married, and I will be with the last woman I'm ever going to have and that I've got all the kids that I'm ever gonna have. And I live in my father's house. And every day I go to my father's job at the restaurant. And any one of those things on their own, I can deal with, but... you add them up, Kirsten. The wife and the kids and the house and the job... and that's every decision that I'm ever gonna make in my life! I've got no choices left! I'm 25 years old and I know my whole life.
Kirsten Bennett: And it's not what you want? I'm not what you want? You don't love me?
Charlie Salinger: I do love you. I don't want to be with anyone else. I don't.
Kirsten Bennett: You just don't want to marry me?
Charlie Salinger: No, I do. I do. I just... I just need time to sit with all this for a while.
Kirsten Bennett: Listen to me, Charlie. We don't have time. My parents are downstairs, and your family and friends and a minister and 35 pounds of Australian shrimp. Now, you just pull yourself together, okay. You take a deep breath and put all this behind you, because we are getting married today.
Charlie Salinger: No. I can't.

"Party of Five: Something Out of Nothing (#1.9)" (1994)
[last lines]
Julia Salinger: So this Bill guy, is he cute?
[Bailey and Charlie laugh]
Bailey Salinger: Oh, no.
Julia Salinger: So?
Charlie Salinger: Don't even think about it.

"Party of Five: Fools Rush In (#4.23)" (1998)
Claudia Salinger: Jamie invited me to his PROM!
Claudia Salinger: I could just scream.
Charlie Salinger: You just did.