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Quotes for
Luke Girardi (Character)
from "Joan of Arcadia" (2003)

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"Joan of Arcadia: Drive, He Said (#1.10)" (2003)
Friedman: Why are you talking so fast?
Luke: [caffeine buzzed] Why are you listening so fast?

Luke: [to Friedman; caffeine buzzed] And you should hear what I'm not telling you, OK, so shut up!

Joan: When... when do you plan on having sex?
Luke: Oh, at my first opportunity.

Joan: What are you? Some kind of Peeping Tom?
Luke: It's not my fault I have a... naturally quiet tread.

Joan: I'm not... pregnant.
Luke: Then why was there a pregnancy kit in the bathroom? Because *I'm* not pregnant and I'm pretty sure Kevin's not pregnant, which leaves...
Joan: Mom.
Luke: Okay, I'm an expert on probability, and given factors such as Mom's and Dad's ages, birth control, and the average frequency of sex after twenty-three...
Joan: [covering ears] Ewwwww!


"Joan of Arcadia: The Fire and the Wood (#1.2)" (2003)
Luke: [about the one nice thing he did that day] I didn't laugh when Joan was introduced to my AP chem class.

Joan: Don't you have any friends that you could walk to school with?
Luke: Don't worry, they'll think I'm cool stylin' with my big sister. Oh, wait, you're worried that one of your friends will see us together... Oh, wait a minute, you don't have any friends.
Joan: And ironically you're still cramping my style.


"Joan of Arcadia: Recreation (#1.13)" (2004)
[Luke, Grace, Friedman and Glynis are looking through one of the Girardis' photo albums]
Friedman: Oh, man. Here's Luke in a little Dalmatian outfit.
Glynis Figliola: Oh! Look at his little ears!
Luke: It was Halloween, I was 3! Put that away...
[he tries to take the album off Friedman but he fights back]
Grace Polk: Hey, let me see.
Glynis Figliola: The colour palette suits you.
Friedman: Dude, your sister's, like, naked.
Luke: She's a baby!

Liquor Store Clerk God: Joan, you did invite Adam?
Joan: Sure.
Liquor Store Clerk God: And he realizes you're inviting him?
Joan: As in a date?
Liquor Store Clerk God: Figure it out.
Luke: I'm sorry, he's approving your guest list?


"Joan of Arcadia: No Bad Guy (#1.17)" (2004)
Luke: Hey, guess what? Copernicus called, said the world doesn't revolve around you.
Joan: What a coincidence because the dork police called and said they want their leader back.
Kevin: It's official, I don't miss high school anymore.

Helen Girardi: OK, Luke, what was your involvement?
Luke: I hit a button... it was scientifically unsound...


"Joan of Arcadia: Double Dutch (#1.16)" (2004)
Luke Girardi: You've got the world's largest blind spot, you know that? One minute, y - you discern an oblique pattern that's invisible to mere mortals, the next, you can't even see a conclusive certainty that's staring you in the face.
Will Girardi: I have no idea what you just said.
Luke Girardi: You always say that I got my brain from Mom. That's not true. I get it from you.
Will Girardi: Then why didn't I understand what you said?


"Joan of Arcadia: Jump (#1.12)" (2004)
Grace Polk: Hey, Geek.
Luke: Ah, Grace. I was afraid your father wouldn't give you the message.
Grace Polk: Yeah. Thanks for leaving a message with my father, *the Rabbi*, saying you want to spend the night with me building a *gun*.


"Joan of Arcadia: Pilot (#1.1)" (2003)
Joan: So you're a science geek, right?
Luke: I prefer "man of science'.