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Quotes for
DC Jim Carver (Character)
from "The Bill" (1984)

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"The Bill: A Dangerous Breed (#1.7)" (1984)
P.C. Carver: [Carver is doing a crossword puzzle] What's a big bird, 5 and 3 ending in T?
W.P.C. Ackland: Er... tit.
P.C. Carver: Eh?
W.P.C. Ackland: Grey tit. Well don't you normally associate that with birds?

P.C. Carver: [to Litten, after seeing Galloway] What's up with him?
P.C. Litten: Indigestion. Always the same after he's had a big meal.


"The Bill: The Sweet Smell of Failure (#1.11)" (1985)
W.P.C. Ackland: You've got to be joking. That pair, Bonnie and Clyde?
P.C. Carver: Well, the description fits.
W.P.C. Ackland: We've been had over, do you know that, bloody well had over. I'll murder that Bloomfield.

Det. Insp. Galloway: [to Bloomfield] Somebody's grassed you up, my old son.
W.P.C. Ackland: [to Bloomfield] Done you up like a kipper.
P.C. Carver: Can't trust anybody.
[Galloway and Ackland stare at Carver]
P.C. Carver: Well, you can't, can ya?


"The Bill: Old Enemies (#16.60)" (2000)
Sgt Matt Boyden: [Jim and Cass bring Ted into Custody where a prisoner is heard singing in the background] What have you got, something to shut the paparazzi up I hope.
PC Jim Carver: Drink driver Sarge.
Sgt Matt Boyden: This time off day.
[Notices the prisoner is Ted Roach]
Sgt Matt Boyden: Tell me I'm dreaming.
Ted Roach: Your worst nightmare.


"The Bill: Funny Ol' Business - Cops & Robbers (#1.1)" (1984)
W.P.C. Ackland: [to Carver] Morning. 'Ere, let's have a sip of your tea.
[drinks Carver's tea]
W.P.C. Ackland: Oh, so much sugar!
[Put's Carver's tea down with a disgusted look on her face]
P.C. Carver: Well, I like sugar, you know, I mean, I've got a sweet tooth!
W.P.C. Ackland: Yeah, well don't you know it's bad for you? You'll get fat and all your teeth 'll fall out.


"The Bill: 286 (#21.12)" (2005)
DC Jim Carver: Give me the SP on the ISP ASAP!