Detective Steve Sloan
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Quotes for
Detective Steve Sloan (Character)
from "Diagnosis Murder" (1993)

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"Diagnosis Murder: A Mime Is a Terrible Thing to Waste (#5.11)" (1997)
Randy Wolfe: Imagine you and I running into each other like this again; it's amazing, isn't it?
Steve Sloan: Especially since the swelling just started to go down.

Dr. Mark Sloan: Where were you when you saw the body?
Randy Wolfe: I was just about to brush my teeth when I saw his feet.
Steve Sloan: Well, maybe your eyes were playing tricks on you.
Randy Wolfe: When was the last time you saw a dead mime in your bed?
Steve Sloan: Mm, good point. I'd better go check my bed right now.


Diagnosis Murder (1992) (TV)
[Mark arrives at the murder scene]
Sgt. Steve Sloane: Here's our medical adviser, half an hour late!
Dr. Mark Sloane: First time in two years, my car wouldn't start.
[Notices Steve is wearing a baseball uniform]
Dr. Mark Sloane: Do you always go to work like that?
Sgt. Steve Sloane: I'm going straight to batting practice!

[Mark, Steve and a group of officers arrive at the H.Q. of the false company]
Sgt. Steve Sloane: Dad, I can't go in without a search warrant, and I don't have probable cause!
Dr. Mark Sloane: Not necessarily.
[Picks up a brick]
Dr. Mark Sloane: Besides, If I'm wrong, you can arrest me for breaking and entering!
[Mark smashes the window in the door with the brick]


"Diagnosis Murder: Voices Carry (#6.13)" (1999)
Detective Steve Sloan: Get me some bacon and eggs will you Jess
Dr. Jesse Travis: You can get them yourself!
Detective Steve Sloan: Yeah, I can gouge your eyes out with my spoon too!
Dr. Jesse Travis: Hey, well a bright good morning to you too! Jesse leaves
Detective Steve Sloan: -to Mark- This surly in the morning routine works great, you can't believe what I can get people to do for me!

Detective Steve Sloan: Get me some bacon and eggs will you Jess
Dr. Jesse Travis: You can get them yourself!
Detective Steve Sloan: Yeah, I can gouge your eyes out with my spoon too!
Dr. Jesse Travis: Hey, well a bright good morning to you too!
[Jesse leaves]
Detective Steve Sloan: [to Mark] This surly in the morning routine works great, you can't believe what I can get people to do for me!


"Diagnosis Murder: Trapped in Paradise (#6.12)" (1999)
Dr. Jesse Travis: All those times you dragged me into doing police work, all those times I stood face to face with death
Detective Steve Sloan: You never stood face to face with death!
Dr. Jesse Travis: All right, all those times I mistakenly thought I was standing face to face with death.

Dr. Jesse Travis: All those times you dragged me into doing police work, all those times I stood face to face with death!
Detective Steve Sloan: You never stood face to face with death!
Dr. Jesse Travis: Alright, all those times I mistakenly thought I was standing face to face with death.


"Diagnosis Murder: Murder on the Run: Part 2 (#3.6)" (1996)
Detective Steve Sloan: [to the Bad Guy] Take the gun off my father or I'll take your head off your shoulders.


"Diagnosis Murder: Shanda's Song (#1.8)" (1994)
Dr. Jack Stewart: Hey, look at that, a message.
Detective Steve Sloan: I know.
Dr. Jack Stewart: Well, aren't we going to listen to it?
Detective Steve Sloan: No, we are not. To do so would constitute an illegal search.
Dr. Jack Stewart: [looks confused]
Detective Steve Sloan: Here's her parent's phone number. It's in Little Rock...
Dr. Jack Stewart: I don't get this. How come you're allowed to look through that book, but we can't play back her message?
Detective Steve Sloan: This is in plain site. That is not! It's an invasion of privacy without a warrant!
Dr. Jack Stewart: Oh, the law! It's very complex, I forget. But let me ask you this: What if someone, not a cop, but someone like, a doctor, were to accidentally...
[slams arm onto answering machine button]
Dr. Jack Stewart: Yeah, I mean, what then?
Detective Steve Sloan: Then the cop might strangle him!