Gloria
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Quotes for
Gloria (Character)
from Madagascar (2005)

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Madagascar (2005)
Gloria the Hippo: Aww, you poor little baby, did that big mean lion scare you?
Mort the Mouse Lemur: Mm-hmm.
Gloria the Hippo: He did? He's a big fat old puddy-tat, isn't he?
Mort the Mouse Lemur: [gurgling and lifting arms up to be picked up]
Gloria the Hippo: Come on, mama hold you. Awww!
Melman the Giraffe: They are so cute from a reasonable distance.
Gloria the Hippo: Look at you! Aren't you the sweetest thing... aww I just wanna dunk him in my coffee!
Mort the Mouse Lemur: [giggling cutely]

[singing]
Alex the Lion: Happy...
Gloria the Hippo: Birth...
Melman the Giraffe: Day...
Alex the Lion: To...
Gloria the Hippo: You...
Alex the Lion: You...
Melman the Giraffe: Live...
Gloria the Hippo: In...
Alex the Lion: A zoo...
Gloria the Hippo: You...
Melman the Giraffe: Look...
Alex the Lion: Like a monkey...
Melman the Giraffe: And...
Alex the Lion: You smell...
Gloria the Hippo: Like...
[all together]
Alex the Lion, Melman the Giraffe, Gloria the Hippo: One too!

Marty the Zebra: Come on, Alex. Do you honestly think I intended all of this to happen? You want me to say I'm sorry? Is that what you want? Okay, I'm so...
Alex the Lion: Shush!
Marty the Zebra: He just shushed me.
Gloria the Hippo: Look, Alex, you have to be more understanding...
Alex the Lion: Shush!
Gloria the Hippo: Don't you shush me!
Alex the Lion: Do you hear that? Can't you hear that?

Gloria the Hippo: Okay, let's make a good impression on the people. Smiles, everyone. Let's get it together.
[to Melman]
Gloria the Hippo: Is that the best you can do, Melman?
Melman the Giraffe: Oh, I'm not smiling. It's gas.
Gloria the Hippo: Okay, well, great. Let's make gas look good.

Marty the Zebra: You guys look hungry. How would you like some of nature's goodness?
Gloria the Hippo: You have food?
Marty the Zebra: One Fun Side special, coming up. Seaweed on a stick.
Alex the Lion: Seaweed?
Marty the Zebra: On a stick. Don't love it 'till you try it.

Gloria the Hippo: It's okay! Cats always land on their... face.
[to Alex the Lion]
Gloria the Hippo: What kind of cat are you?

Gloria the Hippo: Melman! Are you okay?
Melman the Giraffe: Yeah. I often doze off while I'm getting an MRI.
Alex the Lion: Melman, you're not getting an MRI.
Melman the Giraffe: CAT scan?
Alex the Lion: No! No CAT scan! It's a transfer! It's a zoo transfer!
Melman the Giraffe: ZOO TRANSFER? Oh, no. No, no. I can't be transferred. I have an appointment with Dr. Goldberg at five. There are prescriptions that have to be filled! No other zoo can afford my medical care! And I am NOT going HMO!
Marty the Zebra: Take it easy, Melman. We are gonna be o-kizzay.
Alex the Lion: No, we're not gonna be o-kizzay! Because of you, we're ruined!

Gloria the Hippo: Where are the people?
Skipper the Penguin: We killed them and ate their livers.
[pause]
Skipper the Penguin: Gotcha, didn't I? just kiddin', doll. The people are fine. They're on a slow boat to China.

Alex the Lion: Whoa! Hold up there a second, fuzzbucket. You mean like, uh, the "live in a mud hut, wipe yourself with a leaf" type wild?
Julian: Who wipes?
Gloria the Hippo: Oy vey.
Julian: Oy vey!
Maurice: Oy vey, everybody!
[Lemurs Shout "Oy vey"]

Melman the Giraffe: San Diego.
Gloria the Hippo: San Diego?
Melman the Giraffe: White, sandy beaches; cleverly simulated natural environment; wide-open enclosures. I'm telling you, this could be the San Diego Zoo. Complete with fake rocks.
[Taps on a rock]
Melman the Giraffe: Wow, that looks real.

Gloria the Hippo: It's not people, it's animals.
Melman the Giraffe: California animals. Dude.
Marty the Zebra: This is like a Puffy party.

Julian: We thank you with enormous gratitude for chasing away the foosa.
Gloria the Hippo: The who-sa?
Julian: The foosa. They are always annoying us by trespassing, interrupting our parties, and ripping our limbs off.

Gloria the Hippo: What kind of zoo is this?
Melman the Giraffe: I just saw twenty-six blatant health code violations.
Marty the Zebra: I'm loving San Diego. This place is off the chizain.
Melman the Giraffe: Twenty-seven.

Gloria the Hippo: Come on, we are New Yorkers, right?
Marty the Zebra: Yeah.
Gloria the Hippo: We're tough! We're gritty!
Marty the Zebra: Yeah!
Gloria the Hippo: We're adaptable!
Melman the Giraffe: Yeah!
Gloria the Hippo: And we are not gonna lay down like a bunch of Melmans!
Melman the Giraffe: No, we're not!

Gloria the Hippo: Don't make me come up there, I'll get the whuppin' on both of y'all.

Gloria the Hippo: Go talk to him, you know, go over and give him a little pep talk.
Alex the Lion: Hey, I gave him a snow globe! I can't beat that!

Gloria the Hippo: How long do I have to pose like this?

Gloria the Hippo: Does anyone else feel nauseous?
Melman the Giraffe: I feel nauseous.
Alex the Lion: Melman, you always feel nauseous.

Alex the Lion: You know, by the time we get back to New York, it'll be the middle of winter. So I was thinking, why rush? Maybe we could make a few sidestops along the way.
Marty the Zebra: How about Paris?
Gloria the Hippo: Ooh, you've read my mind.
Alex the Lion: I was thinking Spain.
Marty the Zebra: Yeah. A little running with the bulls.
Gloria the Hippo: How about Fiji?
Melman the Giraffe: Or Canada? Can't we? Cheap meds. Huh?

Alex the Lion: I'm swimming back to New York! I know my chances are slim, but I have to try!
Gloria the Hippo: Alex, you can't swim!
Alex the Lion: I said my chances are slim!

Melman the Giraffe: Guys, we're running out of time!
Gloria the Hippo: Melman, you broke their clock?

Gloria the Hippo: Lets, go. Make a wish babycakes.
[Marty blows out the candle and eats a chunk out of his birthday cake]
Alex the Lion: Come on, what you wish for?
Marty the Zebra: Nope! Can't tell you that.
Alex the Lion: Come on, tell.
Alex the Lion: No siree. I'm telling you'a, its bad luck. You want some bad luck, I'll blab it out, But if you want to be safe, I'll keep my mouth shut.
Gloria the Hippo: [interrupting] Could you just tell us? I mean, really. What could happen?
Marty the Zebra: Okay. I wish I could go... To the wild!
Alex the Lion: The wild?
[After Marty says this, Alex falls off the wall, Melman chokes himself and Gloria opens her mouth in shock]
Marty the Zebra: I told you it was bad luck.
[Gloria tries to stop Melman from choking]
Alex the Lion: The wild? Are you nuts? That is the worst ideal I've ever heard.
[Melman spits out what was choking him]
Melman the Giraffe: It's unsanitary.
Marty the Zebra: The penguins are going. So why can't I?
Alex the Lion: The penguins are psychotic.
Marty the Zebra: Come on, Just imagine going back to nature. Back to your roots, clean air, wide-open spaces!
Gloria the Hippo: Well, I hear they have wide-open spaces in Connecticut.
Marty the Zebra: Connecticut?
Melman the Giraffe: Yeah. What you gotta do is you go over to Grand Central, and then you gotta take the Metro-North Tran... North?
Marty the Zebra: So one could take the train? Just Hypothetically.
Alex the Lion: Marty, come on. What would Connecticut have to offer us?
Melman the Giraffe: Lyme disease.
Alex the Lion: Thank you Melman.
Marty the Zebra: No, no really, really. I just want...
Alex the Lion: There's certainly none of this in the wild
[Waves a steak at Marty]
Marty the Zebra: But... but... but...
Alex the Lion: This is a highly refined type of food thing. That you do not find in the wild.


Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (2008)
Melman: No, no that's not it. Listen Mototo, you'd better treat this lady like a queen. Because you, you my friend... have found the perfect woman. If I was ever so lucky to find the perfect woman, I would give her flowers every day. And not just any flowers, okay? Her favorites are orchids. White. And I would bring her breakfast every day. Six loaves of wheat bread with butter on both sides. No crusts. Just the way she likes it. I'd be her shoulder to cry on and her best friend. And I'd spend every day thinking of ways to make her laugh. She has the most... amazing laugh. That's what I would do, if I were you. But I'm not. So you do it.
Moto Moto: Uhhh... What? Aaaanyways, where were we?
Gloria: [sigh] I'm huge?

Gloria: [to Moto Moto] Who's your friend? Or is that your butt?

Gloria: What is this place?
Melman: San Diego. This time, I'm 40% sure.

Gloria: Any water?
Moto Moto: No, just more diamonds and gold.

Alex: I like to move it, move it!
Gloria: He likes to move it, move it!
Marty: She likes to move it, move it!
Melman: We like to...?
Lemurs: Move it!

Gloria: So you must be Moto Moto.
Moto Moto: The name so nice when you say it twice
[Shows three fingers]
Moto Moto: .

Gloria: Is this place great or what?
Alex: I'd go with "or what".

Gloria: Julian, stop this! This is crazy!
Julien: Oh, suddenly throwing a giraffe into a volcano to make water, is crazy!

Marty: I still think he's a show-off.
Melman: You gotta give him credit. He is an animal.
Marty: I don't know about you guys, but I feel like going on vacation.
Gloria: Where are we going to go on vacation?
Marty: I was thinking Conneticut.

Mason: The plane won't be fixed until the suits meet our demands. Now, about maternity leave.
Skipper: Maternity leave?
[glances under the table]
Skipper: You're all male...
Marty: Look, we need that plane for a rescue mission.
Skipper: Well, there's nothing I can do until we bust up this union.
Gloria: I'm gonna get to bustin' up all you if you don't get this plane going!
Skipper: Can't you see these commies have my hands tied, here? NO maternity leave!
Mason: [nudges Phil, who pulls out incriminating photos of Skipper and "Doll" in compromising positions] Maybe a certain someone wouldn't want *these* blowing around the savanna?
Skipper: [reluctantly] All right, you get your maternity leave.

Baby Marty: I don't like the looks of this guy. He's a bit of a show-off.
Baby Gloria: I think he's kinda cute.
Baby Melman: You think he's cute?


Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted (2012)
Melman: I can't dance!
Gloria: Maybe that's because you've never tried it before.
Melman: I *have* tried it! I practice in private because you're so good at it...
Gloria: You practice? For me?
Melman: Yeah, but... It's no use! I never know what to do with my arms.
Gloria: That's the easy part.
[wraps Melman's arms around her neck]
Gloria: You just put your arms around your partner.

Gloria: It's just like dancing; two steps forward, one step back...

[the group is observing their old homes from outside the zoo gates]
Alex: Hmm... My rock looks smaller than I remember it being...
Marty: Hey, look, it's the mural! Heh, doesn't quite capture the real thing, does it?
Gloria: Well, there's our homes... I forgot about that wall between us, Melman. Was that always there?

Gloria: How are a zebra, a hippo, a lion and a giraffe going to walk into a casino in Monte Carlo?
Marty: I don't know. Ask the rabbi.

Gia: Alex? You are from a zoo?
[pause]
Alex: Yes. Yes. But wait, there's more.
Gia: More?
Alex: Or less. There's less.
Vitaly: You were never circus?
Gloria: We had to say we were circus.
Melman: Or you'd never let us on the train.
Gia: After all we have been through together, you want to go live in a zoo?
Alex: Gia, I...
Vitaly: You used us.
Alex: No, no, no. I mean - I mean yes but,
Gia: Trapeze americano, you make that up, too?
Alex: It didn't exactly exist when I taught it to you.
Gia: Jet packs and aquatic cobras! I should've known.
Stefano: Balloons to the children of the world was not real, either?
Alex: Yeah, that's not real. But look at what we did.
Stefano: I was shot out of a cannon! I could've died!
Marty: But I thought it was your lifelong dream.
Stefano: For all I know, your name is not even Alice.
Alex: No, Stefano, but it never really was,
Stefano: I don't feel safe!
Alex: Gia, I...
Gia: We trusted you.
Stefano: My tears are real! You are not!


Merry Madagascar (2009) (TV)
Marty: Candied yams from Sylvia's. That's what I want for Christmas.
Gloria: And I can't wait to get back to my hippo pool and that sweet smell of chlorine.
Melman: And I can't wait to see Dr. Maneesh, greatest chiropractor ever.
Alex: As for me, I just want to see snow fall down on my beautiful city. New York, here we come!

Gloria: [after the sleigh crashes] What kind of landing was that?
Skipper: Any landing you can walk away from is a good landing.

Gloria: Wait a minute. These presents are for us!
Alex: What?
Marty: Candied yams from Sylvia's! And they're still warm! They're still warm!
Gloria: An inflatable hippo pool with chlorine!
[sniffs chlorine]
Gloria: Ahh, that's the stuff.
Melman: Doctor Maneesh's neck massager!
Gloria: What did you get, Alex?
Alex: [Holds a snow globe of New York City] Snow falling down on my beautiful city. How did Santa know?
Marty: That's why he's Santa. He's the best.