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: I don't care if the turkey said the dog was a turkey! The dog is not the turkey! The turkey's the turkey, you turkey!
: Hi, there. We're Ernie and Bert. Doc
: Hi there yourself, I'm Doc. Bert
: Did you know that Doc starts with the letter "D"? Doc
: Yes. Ernie
: Yes! Yes starts with the letter "Y". Doc
: True. Ernie
: And True starts with the letter "T". Doc
] Hey, what is this? Bert
: Where we come from, this is small talk. Doc
: Well, whatever you day, nice to be meeting you, but I'd better go up and build some bunk beds. Ernie
: Bunk beds! Ernie
: B words.
[he and Bert laugh
: There's one worried frog. Count
: Ah, that's ONE! One worried frog! Robin
: No, he's not the only one. Count
: That's TWO! Two worried frogs! Ha ha ha ha!
: [after the Muppet babies' Christmas home movie
] Aw, that was fun! Even weirdos are cute when they're babies. Gonzo
: [rushing to Doc
] I knew you'd learn to love us! Doc
: I didn't say that.
: Excuse me! You promised me a nice, quiet Christmas. Emily 'Ma' Bear
: You think you're disappointed? I just took three months of surfing lessons for zip.
: You promised me a nice, quiet Christmas! Animal
: Peace on Earth! Give me presents!
: Careful, Sprocket. These may be from some foreign planet. Emily 'Ma' Bear
: Actually, they're from television. I recognize Fozzie's weirdo friends. Dr. Teeth
: Yeah, and we're proud of it, too! Sam the Eagle
: Why am I here?
: Sprocket and I came here to spend Christmas alone, but this is better!
: [the doorbell rings, then he enters the house as Santa
] Ho ho ho! All Muppets
: [cheering and shouting indistinctly
] Merry Christmas, everyone! Doc
: Merry Christmas, everyone!
: Sometimes I wonder why I keep a dog here at all!
[last lines, after Doc plays the calliope made with pipes and party favors
: [to Sprocket
] From this moment forth, the piano was obsolete!
[Doc finishes his music and laughs as Sprocket looks at the camera in embarrassment