Rusty Cartwright
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Quotes for
Rusty Cartwright (Character)
from "Greek" (2007)

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"Greek: Pilot (#1.1)" (2007)
Rusty Cartwright: Is it necessary to call him 'pledge'?
Cappie: No, I just can't remember his name.

Rusty Cartwright: Where's your name tag?
Engineering Student: I don't feel comfortable with strangers having access to personal information without my explicit consent.
Rusty Cartwright: [laughs nervously]
Engineering Student: I think we're done here.

Dale: [at the engineering party] Check out the hotties! And free Red Bull! I mean, we get a whole other week of this before classes even start. College rocks.
Rusty Cartwright: You know, to be honest, I kinda expected...more...Our first college party.
Dale: Like a fraternity party or something? I mean who would choose to hang out with a bunch of drunkards whose goal in life is to fornicate on as many vapid sorority girls as possible.

Rusty Cartwright: I want to have fun!
Casey Cartwright: You don't know how to have fun!

Rusty Cartwright: But she's my sister.
Evan: We could be your brothers.

Rusty Cartwright: [talking about Casey] How do you know her?
Cappie: Uh, in the biblical sense.
Rusty Cartwright: Oh, from Church.
Cappie: Yea, you could say I've been in her church.

Cappie: Give us a second, Pledge.
Rusty Cartwright: Pledge? Is that a part of the whole hazing thing?
Cappie: No, I just can't remember his name.

"Greek: The Rusty Nail (#1.3)" (2007)
Rusty Cartwright: I've never been on a date before.
Calvin, Dale: You haven't?
Rusty Cartwright: What? Is that so weird?
[pause, then turns to Dale]
Rusty Cartwright: Wait, Dale. You've been on a *date*?
Dale: Hey, I'm a virgin. Not a leper.

Cappie: Spitter, what are you so afraid of?
Rusty Cartwright: Rejection. Humiliation. And clowns.
Cappie: Well, those are scary things, but let's try and maintain perspective.

Calvin: So you need a date for Friday. I don't see what the big deal is.
Rusty Cartwright: For the rest of the house it isn't, girls are all they talk about.
Calvin: Oh man I am with you. I am so sick of hearing guys talk about getting laid.
Dale: Calvin, I could not agree more. I mean, when is the Greek system gonna realize that sex before marriage is like slappin' God in the face?
Calvin: [frowns] Not exactly what I meant.

Cappie: It's simple. The secret to flirting, dating, and hooking up is all biology.
Rusty Cartwright: Don't you mean anatomy?
Cappie: Spitter, can't you see I'm in lecture mode? Where was I? AH! Biology. Okay, there's this guy named Chuck Darwin, now he proved that mankind has evolved over billions and trillions of years. Darwin showed that every aspect of human behavior has an evolutionary purpose. Right? Chatting up girls is in our genetic code, we're programmed to be able to do it. Why? So we can boink and make babies. It's survival of the flirtiest.
Rusty Cartwright: So you're saying I'm becoming extinct?
Cappie: No, no. I'm saying evolution has made us good at this. You need to get outta your head and just trust your instincts. The ability to attract a female is hardwired into your DNA.
Rusty Cartwright: That actually makes scientific sense.
Cappie: Of course it does, I was a Bio major once! Now let's go make Chuckie D proud.

Rusty Cartwright: I need a favor.
Casey Cartwright: It's happy hour; you'd better need a kidney.

Rusty Cartwright: I know you guys think virginity is like this precious gift, but you know what, it's not! It's a big fat burden, it's one that's making me feel like this lonely, awkward loser and I'm tired of feeling that way and tonight I have a chance to change that. So I'm gonna give my gift away. I'm gonna give it to a girl named Lucy ... or Laura, or something that begins with an L.

"Greek: Hazed and Confused (#1.2)" (2007)
Cappie: Greetings. Four score and seven years ago our fore fathers who art in Heaven hallowed be their name brought unto this continent Kappa Tau Gamma. Ye though we walk through valley of the shadow of death we fear nothing and neither will you. As tonight you all become men. But not the way you may be thinking we do not have hookers, which isn't to say we didn't try. Regardless you all have been brought here before us to participate in a ceremonial rite of passage it derives from the secrets of our rituals know as Crypteia where a boy is sent out into the wild to live off the land fight for his life while protecting his village if he wasn't devoured by those gnarly looking wolfie things then he returned to the village a man.
Rusty Cartwright: Isn't that the beginning of 300?
Cappie: We did it first! You must stay out here all night you can not sleep also the Spartan boys had to wear their battle clothes for 24 hours.
Rusty Cartwright: They were out there for months
Cappie: Silence! Oh yeah you guys gotta do some light gardening cause the weeds are getting a little bad back here and to be one with the earth which is something else they did back then. Alright see you guys in the morning when you're men. Be well.

Rusty Cartwright: What's your major?
Ben Bennett: Undeclared, I guess. Yours?
Rusty Cartwright: Polymer Science.
Ben Bennett: Bummer.

Rusty Cartwright: I'm not homeless, I'm in a fraternity.

Casey Cartwright: Be realistic, Russ.
Rusty Cartwright: Be my sister, Case.

Rusty Cartwright: This is just kinda like ping pong. I was champion five years in a row at the Eagle Scouts.
Cappie: Wow! You're in the Eagle Scouts...

"Greek: Picking Teams (#1.4)" (2007)
Cappie: Oh, Rusty. If you get the ball go that way.
Rusty Cartwright: Please don't hit it to me.
Casey Cartwright: [in the stands] Please don't hit it to him.

Cappie: Can you see those huge guys out there with the sticks?
Rusty Cartwright: Yea.
Cappie: Good, cause I can't, which might be a sign of a concussion.

Cappie: Spitter? Is that you?
Rusty Cartwright: Yeah, hi! Do you think I can get a chance to play? I'm ready! I've been practicing!
Cappie: Can you see those huge guys out there with the sticks?
Rusty Cartwright: Yeah...
Cappie: Good, 'cause I can't. Which might be a sign of a concussion. Wait... There they are! Be right back!

The Beaver: Maybe we should call it Cap.
Cappie: I'm over here, dude. Maybe we should throw in the towel.
Rusty Cartwright: No you can't give up! Isn't this game bigger than all of us? Isn't this about kicking ass? Isn't this about good versus Evan?
Cappie: He's right! You may not be feeling well. Some of you are even still drunk! But I see before me a team of Kappa Tau's, playing in defiance of tyranny. You've come to fight as free men, and free men you are. Will you fight? Ay, fight and you might die. Run and you might live, atleast for a while.
The Beaver: It hurts real bad, Cap.
Cappie: Drunk people don't feel pain! And neither do Scotsmen. We may be puking, but the Omega Kai's are not used to running on puke like we are! And Rusty here... Look at him, just a nice kid from Cleveland...
Rusty Cartwright: Chicago...
Cappie: And I know that when he's dying in his bed many years from now, he be willing to trade all his days from this day, for one chance...
Rusty Cartwright: I'm actually fine...
Cappie: Just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies, that they may take our lives, but they will never be able to take our freedom! Yeah!!

"Greek: Multiple Choice (#1.7)" (2007)
Rusty Cartwright: The game's rigged. Old tests, pay tutors for cramming, drugs. College isn't about learning; it's a four year course on how to get buy and beat the system. It's supposed to be the last passion for education a place removed from society where you're inspired, not discouraged. A place where teachers teach and students learn.

Rusty Cartwright: Casey got lavaliered by Evan.
Casey Cartwright: Hey, that's supposed to be a secret.
Rusty Cartwright: Why'd you tell me?
Casey Cartwright: Good question.
Cappie: Congrats, Case.
Casey Cartwright: Thanks.
Cappie: Your kids will be very... Aryan.

Rusty Cartwright: So with almost everyone cheating is it really cheating if you cheat?

Rusty Cartwright: Dale you gotta be careful drinking all that caffeine.
Dale: No, my resting heart rate is...145, that's well within' tolerance
Rusty Cartwright: Yea, for a humming bird!

"Greek: Friday Night Frights (#1.6)" (2007)
Heath: [referring to the crank generator] So do you know how to work this thingy? I was kinda wondering when the cell service will be back.
Heath: [Rusty cranks on it] Cool! It's like magic!
Rusty Cartwright: Actually it's a simple crank generator that turns friction into electricity.
Heath: Or magic!

Rusty Cartwright: Beaver, the bathroom is that way!
The Beaver: [Rusty points down the hall, away from Cappie's room] Man, why do they keep moving it?!

Rusty Cartwright: [to Cappie] Hey, why the long face? This party's got your three favorite things. Beer, girls, and severe weather warnings!

"Greek: Separation Anxiety (#1.8)" (2007)
Rusty Cartwright: [talking about love] How do you know when you mean it?
Cappie: I don't know, I guess it's a kind of burning, itching sensation. But in a good way.

Rusty Cartwright: I think I'm ready to use the L word with Jen.
Cappie: That's a pretty bold move, what makes you think she's a lesbian?

Rusty Cartwright: I think I'm ready to use the L-word with Jen.
Cappie: That's a pretty bold move. What makes you think she's a lesbian, and is that a dealbreaker for you?!
Rusty Cartwright: Not that L-word. I wanna tell her I love her.
Cappie: Look, if you need to say "I love you", call your mom.

"Greek: Liquid Courage (#1.5)" (2007)
Cappie: So you just have to avoid doing something embarrassing for 48 hours.
Rusty Cartwright: I can do that!
Cappie: Your fly's open.

Rusty Cartwright: I made it rain beer!

"Greek: Highway to the Discomfort Zone (#1.13)" (2008)
Rusty Cartwright: Right now it's like we're a boy band... and I'm the fat one.
Casey Cartwright: [serious] It's pronounced fa-tone.

Rusty Cartwright: These are my pledge brothers. Right now, it's like we're a boy band and I'm the fat one.
Casey Cartwright: It's pronounced Fatone.

"Greek: High and Dry (#3.4)" (2009)
Dr. Larsen: 'The Anchor', now that's an odd moniker.
Rusty Cartwright: I come from a long line of seamen. Uh, that came out wrong.

[last lines]
Rusty Cartwright: Does this mean we're a team?
Dr. Milton Hastings: I'm already starting to regret it. Go.

"Greek: Freshman Daze (#1.15)" (2008)
Cappie: Ok, so there's this all Greek ball this weekend... but we're not going.
Rusty Cartwright: Yeah! No. Why aren't we going?
Cappie: Listen to the name, Spitter. It's a ball, like a testicle. I don't wanna go to a testicle.

"Greek: See You Next Time, Sisters! (#2.6)" (2009)
Rusty Cartwright: Just keep in mind guys, this will not be a Kappa Tau party here tomorrow night, though. These are honors engineers, so no booze, no hot chicks, just... robots.

"Greek: Black & White and Read All Over (#1.10)" (2007)
Rusty Cartwright: [after finding out Jen K wrote the article] Is Jen K really your name? Do you have an accent? I always thought you might have an accent.

"Greek: Depth Perception (#1.9)" (2007)
Jen K: [about Dale] I know he has some issues...
Rusty Cartwright: Some issues? He cancelled our cable after accidentally watching three minutes of a Dawson's Creek rerun.

"Greek: The Great Cappie (#1.12)" (2008)
Cappie: Downstairs will be a once-in-a-lifetime down-and-dirty secret prohibition party - in our oh-so-humble grotto.
The Beaver: A what party?
Cappie: ...a prohibition party, uh, a speakeasy.
[Beaver looks confused]
Cappie: All right, look. Here's how it's gonna work. Upstairs is gonna be the authority-pleasing, yawn-inducing Great Gatsby party, but downstairs will be a delightful, delicious den of iniquity.
[Beaver looks more confused]
Rusty Cartwright: You've heard of the 18th Amendment? You know alcohol was illegal in the 20s?
The Beaver: No?
[Everyone laughs]
The Beaver: Is that why they call it the Great Depression?

"Greek: Gays, Ghosts, and Gamma Rays (#2.4)" (2008)
Casey Cartwright: I kind of like... Max.
Rusty Cartwright: I should warn him.
Casey Cartwright: What do you mean?
Rusty Cartwright: Cause you date like Sherman marched, Casey. With scorched earth, and broken spirits left in your wake.