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Quotes for
Coleman (Character)
from Trading Places (1983)

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Trading Places (1983)
Billy Ray Valentine: [watches Louis clean his shotgun] You know, you can't just go around and shoot people in the kneecaps with a double-barreled shotgun 'cause you pissed at 'em.
Louis Winthorpe III: Why not?
Billy Ray Valentine: 'Cause it's called assault with a deadly weapon, you get 20 years for that shit.
Louis Winthorpe III: Listen, do you have any better ideas?
Billy Ray Valentine: Yeah. You know, it occurs to me that the best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people.
Coleman: You have to admit, sir, you didn't like it yourself a bit.

Coleman: [offering Billy Ray a sip from his flask; Coleman dressed as a priest, Billy Ray in African garb] Would you like a sip of whiskey?
Billy Ray Valentine: I do not drink, it is against my religion!
Coleman: Religion is a good thing I say, taken in moderation.

Louis: My God! The Dukes are going to corner the entire frozen orange juice market!
Ophelia: Unless somebody stops them...
Coleman: ...or *beats* them to it.
[all turn and look at him]
Coleman: Egg-nog?

Billy Ray Valentine: [after breaking a vase] Hey, sorry about that.
Randolph Duke: It's perfectly all right William. It was your vase.
Billy Ray Valentine: That was a cheap vase, right? That was a fake? Right?
Randolph Duke: I believe we paid $35,000. But if I remember correctly, we valued it for the insurance company at $50,000. You see, Mortimer? William has already made us $15,000.
[Coleman, Mortimer, Randolph, and Billy Ray start laughing]
Billy Ray Valentine: You want me to break something else?
Randolph Duke, Mortimer Duke, Coleman: NO!

Billy Ray Valentine: [on his first day of work] What if I can't do this job, Coleman? What if I'm not what they expected?
Coleman: Just be yourself, sir. Whatever happens, they can't take that away from you.

Billy Ray Valentine: [as Louis is choking him] lt... was... the... Dukes! lt... was... the... Dukes!
Louis Winthorpe III: You're a dead man, Valentine.
Billy Ray Valentine: [gasping, after Ophelia and Coleman stop Louis from choking Billy Ray] It was an experiment... to see how our lives would turn out... the Dukes arranged it... they made a bet.
Coleman: I'm afraid it's true, sir.
Ophelia: I believe him, Louie.
Louis Winthorpe III: The Dukes... ruined my life... over a bet? For how much?
Billy Ray Valentine: A dollar.
Louis Winthorpe III: One dollar... fine. That's the way they want it? No problem.
[cut to Louis cleaning and loading an array of shotguns in the den]

[first lines]
Coleman: [holding a breakfast tray while Louis is still asleep] Your breakfast, sir.