Poseidon
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Quotes for
Poseidon (Character)
from Immortals (2011)

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The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (2004)
King Neptune: [to Spongebob] And as for you, be back with my crown in exactly 10 days.
Patrick Star: [Appears out of nowhere] He can do it in nine.
King Neptune: Eight.
Patrick Star: Seven.
King Neptune: Six
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs, SpongeBob SquarePants: Patrick!
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: [He and Spongebob attack Patrick]
King Neptune: Six it is then.
Patrick Star: [while being choked by Mr. Krabs] Five?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Patrick, shush!

King Neptune: This crown does more than cover a slightly receding hairline. It entitles the wearer to rule the sea. One day, you will wear this crown.
Mindy: [panics] I'm going to be bald?
King Neptune: Thinning! Anyway, the point is, you won't wear it until you learn to rule with an iron fist, like your father.
[puts on the cushion where the crown used to be]
Mindy: Uh, dad? Your "crown"?
King Neptune: What the...? My crown! Aah! Someone has stolen the royal crown!

King Neptune: There is nothing else I can do.
Mindy: You can give SpongeBob and Patrick a little more time.
King Neptune: Except give SpongeBob and Patrick a little more ti-ti-ti-ti... What? Mindy, will you butt out? I will not have you stalling this execution!
Mindy: Stalling? I'm not stalling anything.
King Neptune: Yes, yes you are. You're doing it right now.
Mindy: I'm stalling?
King Neptune: Yes!
Mindy: Stalling.
King Neptune: Stalling!
Mindy: I'm stalling.
King Neptune: Yes!

King Neptune: [bumps into the Krusty Krab sign] Have this pole executed at once.

SpongeBob SquarePants: Doesn't it seem a little harsh to kill someone over a crown?
King Neptune: You don't understand. The crown is a symbol of my king-like authority. And, uh, between you and me... my hair is thinning a bit.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, Your Majesty, I'm sure it's not that noticea...
[Sees Neptune's bald head]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Bald! Bald! Bald!
Crowd: Bald! Bald! Bald!
Fish: My eyes!
King Neptune: All right, all right!

King Neptune: You have confessed to the crime of touching the royal crown.
Prisoner: Y-yes, but...
King Neptune: BUT WHAT?
Prisoner: B-but it's my job, your Highness. I'm the royal crown polisher!
King Neptune: Well, I suppose I can't execute you. Twenty years in the dungeon it is!

King Neptune: Mindy, what is this?
Mindy: Your crown?
King Neptune: And do you know what it does?
Mindy: Cover up your bald spot?
King Neptune: It's not bald! It's... thinning.

SpongeBob SquarePants: Sorry to rain on your parade, Plankton.
Plankton: Oh, don't worry about me. My parade will be quite dry, under my... umbrella!
[pulls on a chain]
SpongeBob SquarePants, Mindy, Patrick Star: Umbrella?
[a Chum Bucket bucket helmet drops on Neptune]
Mindy: Daddy, no!
Plankton: Daddy, yes!
[pushes button on remote]
King Neptune: [Bucket activates] All hail Plankton.


Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010)
[first lines]
Poseidon: Zeus.
Zeus: Poseidon.
Poseidon: It's been many years
Zeus: What do you see?
Poseidon: Thunder clouds.
Zeus: With no lightning. Stolen.

Poseidon: I know I'm not the father you always wanted. But if you even need me, I'll be there for you. In your thoughts, in your dreams.


"The Odyssey" (1997)
Poseidon: My goal is not to kill you. You must understand.
Odysseus: What? What?
[shouts]
Odysseus: What do you want me to understand?
Poseidon: That without the gods, man is nothing.

Odysseus: Do you see, you gods of sea and sky? I conquered Troy. Me Odysseus, a mortal man of flesh and blood and bone and mind! I do not need you now, I can do anything.
Poseidon: Odysseus, why do you defy me?
Odysseus: Who are you?
Poseidon: It is I Poseidon, god of the wine dark sea. You have forfeited for forgetting how I helped you.
Odysseus: Help me? For ten years you played with us as toys. For ten years you let blood spill to your shores.
Poseidon: But it was my serpent who silenced Laocoon or your horse was doomed, yet you refuse to give thanks. You forget, a man is nothing without the gods. You will suffer for this offense. For your arrogance, you will drift on my sea for an eternity, never again will you reach the shores of Ithaca.
Odysseus: You cannot stop me!
Poseidon: You will suffer.


"SpongeBob SquarePants: Fools in April/Neptune's Spatula (#1.19)" (2000)
Neptune: The accursed stove has burnt my finger.
[zaps stove]
Neptune: Feel thine own wrath, stove! Ha ha!
SpongeBob SquarePants: What did I tell you about using your powers, trainee?
Neptune: [ashamed] Perfect patties are made with love, not magic.

Neptune: So, little one? You think you are worthy of being the royal fry cook? I will prove your worthlessness. You shall be tested in a challenge.
Patrick: Bring it on. SpongeBob can handle any...
[Neptune zaps him]
Patrick: Ouch.
Neptune: Your friend's arrogance will cost you dearly. There will be two challenges.
Patrick: Two? What is two challenges to someone like SpongeBob?
[Neptune zaps him again]
Neptune: Three challenges!
Patrick: Only three? Three challenges is nothing. It might as well be... five hundred challenges.
Neptune: Enough!
[Zaps Patrick]
Patrick: [Now just a smudge on the ground] We'll settle for one.
Neptune: There will be but one challenge. You will face me in... the Ultimate Cookoff!
SpongeBob SquarePants: I will accept your challenge, if you fix my friend.
Neptune: Ah, yes. The round one. I shall restore him.
[restores Patrick, only he has no face]
Patrick: SpongeBob? SpongeBob?
[turns around; his face is on his butt]
Patrick: SpongeBob? There you are.
SpongeBob SquarePants: How you feeling?
Patrick: Pretty good. Say, have you gotten taller?


God of War III (2010) (VG)
Poseidon: [in his watery construct] You challenge me, mortal? A god of Olympus!
Kratos: A true warrior does not hide, Poseidon. Leave the sea, and face me.
Poseidon: You have disrespected the gods for the last time, Kratos
[fighting atop Gaia, Kratos, with momentum from Gaia's fist, tears Poseidon out of his watery form onto a nearby ledge and throws him to the wall, as Poseidon's "god" form collapse]
Poseidon: [weakened] Zeus should have kept you where you belong. No matter how many gods fall, there will always be another to stand against you.
Kratos: They will fall as well.
Poseidon: The death of Olympus means the death of us all!
Kratos: Then prepare for your death, Poseidon