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Quotes for
Alyssa Callaway (Character)
from It Takes Two (1995)

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It Takes Two (1995)
Alyssa Calloway: How was the party?
Amanda Lemmon: Well, the good news is, Clarice is gone.
Alyssa Calloway: You did it!
Amanda Lemmon: The bad news is, she'll be back in a week.
Alyssa Calloway: Oh, you didn't.

Diane Barrows: I can't believe you talked me into this!
Alyssa Calloway: You're too tense. Relax.
Diane Barrows: Oh, I've got a thousand pounds of wild animal under my butt and she says relax!

Clarice Kensington: I have never been more humiliated in my life!
[turns to walk off and huffs]
Alyssa Calloway: Wanna bet?
[she steps on Clarice's wedding dress so that everyone can see her underpants]

Alyssa Calloway: Aren't you coming?
Diane Barrows: Uh, no, I think I'm just gonna wait for Amanda out here.
Alyssa Calloway: DIANE BARROWS! GET YOUR BUTT UP HERE THIS... IN-STANT!
Diane Barrows: Okay. Okay. Maybe I'll just stand in the back and take a little look-see.

Alyssa Calloway: [to Vincenzo, after thinking that Clarice wants to sell the mansion] I've lost my mother, now I've lost my father! I have no family. I'm an orphan, and I'm running away, so don't you dare tell Daddy!

[Diane and Alyssa see a horse-drawn carriage, and Alyssa gets on]
Diane Barrows: Oh, no. NOT another horse!
Alyssa Calloway: Diane, come *on*!
Diane Barrows: Fine.
[she gets into the carriage]
Diane Barrows: Where is the driver?
[she notices that the driver is at the hot dog stand, eating hot dogs]
Diane Barrows: Oh! Hey, buddy! Listen, you've gotta take us to St. Bart's right away; it's an emergency!
Horse Driver: [through a mouthful of hot dog] We're closed, miss. I'm on my break!
[Diane turns to Alyssa, and makes a gesture telling her to get in the driver's seat and take the reins, both of which Alyssa does, and Diane gets in the passenger seat and turns angrily to the driver]
Diane Barrows: [sarcastically] I wanna thank you for all your help, bud!
Alyssa Calloway: [whips the reins] HYAH!
[the horse runs off, pulling the carriage, but Diane falls backwards into the seat]
Horse Driver: [notices and almost runs after his horse] Hey. Hey, lady! Hey, that's...
[spits out his mouthful, then screams after them]
Horse Driver: THAT'S MY HORSE!

Diane Barrows: Told ya. Third time's a charm...
Roger Callaway: Wait. All of this? This was *your* doing?
[Amanda and Alyssa smile]
Roger Callaway: Oh, it *was*, was it?
Roger Callaway: Well, girls, what do you have to say for yourselves?
Alyssa Calloway, Amanda Lemmon: So kiss already!