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Quotes for
Ashley Burke (Character)
from "Two of a Kind" (1998)

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"Two of a Kind: Breaking Them Up Is Hard to Do (#1.5)" (1998)
Marci: Oh, hey, who's that?
Ashley Burke: Carrie? Oh, she's just...
Mary-Kate Burke: Another one of dad's girlfriends!
Marci: Oh... your dad has other girlfriends?
Ashley Burke: Yeah, but don't worry. I think he likes you the best.

Carrie: Oh, hi, you just missed Marci.
Ashley Burke: Yeah, she left in kind of a hurry.
Kevin Burke: Actually, she's still downstairs.
Ashley Burke: Uh-oh.
Mary-Kate Burke: I think I'm catching what Ashley's got.
Carrie: What's going on?
Kevin Burke: Well, first of all, Ashley's not sick and these two told Marci that you were my girlfriend.
Carrie: What? Why would you do that?
Ashley Burke: Well, we were trying to break Dad and Marci up.
Mary-Kate Burke: Yeah, Carrie, we don't want to lose you.
Kevin Burke: Why would you lose Carrie?
Mary-Kate Burke: Because she said if things kept with between you and Marci, she'd be out of a job.
Carrie: Well, that was a joke. I didn't mean that.
Ashley Burke: Well, we thought you did and we liked the way things are.
Mary-Kate Burke: Yeah, you're the best babysitter we've ever had.
Ashley Burke: You're like family.
Carrie: So you would lie to that poor woman just to keep me around? That is so sweet.
[sobers after Kevin gives her a look]
Carrie: I mean it's wrong. Of course. But it's still very sweet. I ...
Kevin Burke: Carrie?
Carrie: Oh, why don't I give you guys some privacy. Oh!


"Two of a Kind: Prelude to a Kiss (#1.3)" (1998)
Mary-Kate Burke: Bye Ashley. See your Porky!
Ashley Burke: Its Pokey!

Ashley Burke: Your my sister and my best friend. And no boy can ever change that. You know what I mean? Mary-Kate? Mary-Kate?
Mary-Kate Burke: [sleeping and snoring]


"Two of a Kind: Welcome Matt (#1.18)" (1999)
Ashley Burke: Oh my God, I look like Grandma!


"Two of a Kind: Mr. Right Under Your Nose (#1.17)" (1999)
Ashley Burke: This was my only campaign promise. Do you know what this means?
Mary-Kate Burke: Yeah. You did what any politician would do. You lied.


"Two of a Kind: The Odd Couples (#1.19)" (1999)
[frustrated with Jared's disinterest in their marriage project and finally speaking up]
Ashley Burke: Tell you what: let me put that on "Pause" for a second.
[takes away Jared's Game Boy and throws it aside]
Jared: Hey!
Ashley Burke: Hey nothing! Now listen up 'cause I'm only gonna say this once! This marriage is failing because we're not communicating!
Jared: [stands up] Hey, you can't -
Ashley Burke: Sit down!
[pushes him back into the chair]
Ashley Burke: I am *not* through communicating! We are going to make this marriage work, or I am going to hurt you!
Jared: [giving in] Okay, okay.
Ashley Burke: [calmly but firmly] Now we have $800 left and we are going to decide *together* what to do with it.
[settles down to work]
Jared: [comes to sit beside her] You know, Ashley... you're kinda sexy when you get all mad. Wanna go see a movie sometime?
Ashley Burke: [looks at him incredulously] Oh save it, mister. Let's get through this marriage and *then* we can talk about dating.


"Two of a Kind: Split Decision (#1.13)" (1999)
Ashley Burke: Being a twin bites monkeys!
Mary-Kate Burke: It's not exactly a bed of roses for me either sweetie!