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Quotes for
Nick Parker (Character)
from The Parent Trap (1998)

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The Parent Trap (1998)
Meredith Blake: You know, from the way your father talked about you, I expected a little girl, but you are so grown-up.
Annie as Hallie: I'll be twelve soon. How old are you?
Meredith Blake: [chuckling] Twenty-six.
Annie as Hallie: Only fifteen years older than me! How old are you again, Dad?
Nick Parker: Wow, suddenly you're so interested in math!

Nick Parker: What's going on?
Meredith Blake: Here's what's going on, buddy: the day we get married is the day I ship those brats off to Switzerland, get the picture? It's me, or them. Take your pick.
Nick Parker: Them.
[Hallie and Annie stare at each other excitedly]
Meredith Blake: Excuse me?
Nick Parker: T-H-E-M. Them.
[staring into Meredith's face]
Nick Parker: Get the picture?

Nick Parker: [hiking] I'm going to take the lead. You two help Meredith.
Meredith Blake: [looks at the girls] Sure you'll help me. Right over a cliff you'll help me.
Hallie: [whispering to Annie] Not a bad idea.
Annie: Yeah, see any cliffs?

Nick Parker: You know, I may never be alone with you again. So about that day you packed, why'd you do it?
Elizabeth James: Oh, Nick. We were so young. We both had tempers, we said stupid things so I packed. Got on my very first 747, and you didn't come after me.
Nick Parker: I didn't know that you wanted me to.
Elizabeth James: Well, that really doesn't matter anymore. So, let's put on a good face for the girls and get the show on the road, huh?
Nick Parker: Yeah, sure. Let's get the show on the road.

Nick Parker: [after explaining to Elizabeth why they returned early from the camping trip] So, where's Chessie? I'm starving.
Elizabeth James: Well, she and Martin went off to a picnic around noon. Yesterday.
Nick Parker: [Impersonating Cary Grant] Really. Who would have thought. My nanny, your butler.

Elizabeth James: [thinking she is talking to her father, who has a newspaper up between them] Hey stranger...
Hallie: [puts down newspaper. then] Hey Mom, did you know that the Concorde gets you here in half the time?
Elizabeth James: [flustered] Yes, I, I've heard that...
Annie: [after Hallie surprises Elizabeth and Annie by arriving in London and showing up at their home before Elizabeth and Annie do] What are you doing here?
Hallie: It took us abound 30 seconds after you guys left for us to realize we didn't want to lose you two again.
Elizabeth James: We?
Nick Parker: [walking in from another room] We. I made the mistake of not coming after you once, Lizzie. I'm not going to do that again no matter how brave you are.
Elizabeth James: And I suppose you just expect me to go weak at the knees, and fall into your arms, and cry hysterically. And say we'll just figure this whole thing out. A bi-continental relationship with our daughters being raised here and there. And. And, you and I just picking up where we left off and growing old together. And... and... c'mon, Nick, what do you expect? To live happily ever after?
Nick Parker: Yes. To all of the above. Except you don't have to cry hysterically.
Elizabeth James: [With tears in her eyes] Oh, yes I do.
[he kisses her]

Nick Parker: You know, sometime if we're ever really alone maybe we could talk about what happened between us. You know it's all a bit hazy to me now. It ended so fast.
Elizabeth James: You mean it started so fast.
Nick Parker: Well, that part I remember perfectly.

Elizabeth James: [after the limo pulls up to the end of an empty pier and everyone gets out] Where are we?
Nick Parker: This is where we're eating?
Hallie: [Pointing to a 100+ foot yacht] No. Actually, *that's* where we're eating.
Annie: She's ours for the night.
Nick Parker: Wow. So, how exactly are we paying for this?
Annie: Well, we pooled our allowances.
Nick Parker: Yeah. Right. Annie?
Annie: Okay. Grandfather chipped in a bit.
Elizabeth James: Annie!
Annie: Okay. He chipped in a lot.

Nick Parker: I told Hallie.
Meredith Blake: You did? And?
Nick Parker: She went ballistic. She started yelling in French. I didn't even know she spoke French.

Nick Parker: [about Meredith on the camping trip] I'm not marrying her because she's Annie Oakley.
Hallie: Who's Annie Oakley?

Nick Parker: Hal, come here. We have to talk
Annie as Hallie: Okay shoot.
Nick Parker: Okay, honey... I want to know what you think about making Meredith part of the family?
Annie as Hallie: Part of our family?
Nick Parker: Yeah.
Annie as Hallie: I think it's an awesome idea. Inspired. Brilliant really.
Nick Parker: You do? Really? You do?
Annie as Hallie: Totally, it's like a dream come true. I've always wanted a big sister.
Nick Parker: Oh... um... Honey, I'm think you're kind of missing the point.
Annie as Hallie: No, I'm not. You're gonna adopt Meredith. That is so sweet, Dad.
Nick Parker: No, I'm not going to adopt her. I'm going to MARRY her.
Annie as Hallie: [leaps from her seat] Marry her? That's insane! How can you marry a woman young enough to be my big sister?
[she begins to rant, accidentally yelling in French]
Annie as Hallie: Mais tu plaisantes, j'espère. Meredith, ce n'est pas une fille pour toi. Mais c'est pas possible, je rêve. Qu'est-ce qui...
Nick Parker: Hal, Hal, Hal. Calm down, Hal!
[realizes]
Nick Parker: Are you speaking French?
Annie as Hallie: I... I learned it at camp.
[takes a breath]
Annie as Hallie: Ok, I'm sorry. Let's discuss this calmly. Calmly and rationally.
Nick Parker: Yeah and in English if you don't mind, right?
Annie as Hallie: Okay.
Nick Parker: Sweetheart what has gotten into you?
Annie as Hallie: Nothing, nothing, just... just... Dad, you can't get married! It'll totally ruin completely everything!
[she runs from the house]
Nick Parker: Hal! Hal! Hallie!
[he looks to Chessy, who appears at a window]
Chessy, the Parker's Maid: Don't look at me. I don't know a thing.
[she closes the windows]

Hallie: [seeing Meredith before they leave for their camping trip] Dad, what's Meredith doing here?
Nick Parker: Your mother invited her.
Annie: What?
Nick Parker: Be nice.