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: Tell me, when exactly did my Presidency turn into a time share? Rod Calloway
: What are you...? Mackenzie Allen
: My California schedule. Looks like you and Dickie are selling me off in 5-minute blocks. Rod Calloway
: No one's selling your time, Mac. Mackenzie Allen
: Really? Lets see. Mackenzie Allen
: [She starts reading from her schedule
] "POTUS", that would be me, "will be joined in limo by business man Caleb Talben. On arrival to groundbreaking, POTUS will be escorted by real estate developer, Mike Muller". Ah, my personal favorite: "POTUS will ride in elevator to suite with investment banker Victoria Voles". I just hope for Ms. Voles' sake, it's a tall hotel.
: Madame President, any chance you'd care to comment on this mornings USA Today poll? You're numbers show you and the Speaker are now tied among likely voters. Mackenzie Allen
: [to Nathan, faking confusion
] Mr. Speaker, are you running for something? Nathan Templeton
: Me?... Yes: the door.
: False modesty doesn't suit you. Mackenzie Allen
: Nor you.
: [explaining to the President the event they are heading to
] After the National Anthem, Lucy Bridges, the President's niece, will read a short poem. Speaker Templeton will make brief remarks and introduce you. Two shovels and some prearranged loose dirt will be stage right. After the speech, you and the Speaker will do the honors. Kelly will have the press pool pre-positioned to make the shot. Rod Calloway
] And that's our picture of the day. Mackenzie Allen
: [in disbelief
] The Speaker and I flinging dirt?
: So let me understand this. We have half of the Secret Service at the airport, FBI, SWAT teams, we have a spy satellite that can read a license plate from space, and my major source of information is cable news? What if the Chinese invade? Am I gonna hear it first on talk radio?
: [to her husband, after realizing that Dickie stayed in Air Force One just to have sex with a reporter
] It was your idea to hire this guy. Just remember that.
: So, it's better to BE ineffective, than to seem ineffective, right? What a town!
: [to President Allen, whose mother is visiting the White House for Thanksgiving
] Must be nice to get a visit from someone who's just here for the turkey. Mackenzie Allen
: You don't know my mother.
: [after the President's husband was photographed touching another woman's breasts
] Will the first gentleman be sleeping on the couch tonight? Mackenzie Allen
: He may choose to, but only because there hasn't been a new mattress in the residence since Nixon...
: Oh, man, I've got such a headache. Mackenzie Allen
: I'm not surprised.
: Do you want me to talk to the boy's parents? Rebecca Calloway
: No, Mom, that would only make it worse. Mackenzie Allen
: Ok. Do you want me to have him arrested under the Patriot Act and shipped off to prison in Syria? Rebecca Calloway
: That might work.
: This whole situation has taught me something. That no matter what happens, there is only one person that I know has my back.