Chuck Bartowski
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Quotes for
Chuck Bartowski (Character)
from "Chuck" (2007)

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"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Alma Mater (#1.7)" (2007)
John Casey: [to Chuck] Go wait in the car.
Chuck Bartowski: Cause that always works out *so* well.

Chuck Bartowski: [while being chased by bad guys] I *swear* this school has it in for me.

Chuck Bartowski: [while being shot at] Don't you think now would be a grate time for me to be waiting in the car?

Captain Awesome: Come on let me make it up to you. Tickets to the game at your Alma Mater.
Chuck Bartowski: No offense, but I'd rather get hit in the produce section *again* then go back to that place.

Chuck Bartowski: I can't believe I'm saying this but, I have to go back to Stanford.
John Casey: Cool.

Chuck Bartowski: I'm sorry, but was Harry wearing the new assistant manger polo shirt?
Morgan Grimes: It's monogrammed.
Chuck Bartowski: He must be stopped.

Chuck Bartowski: No more Wednesday/Friday surf and turf?
Morgan Grimes: Harry Tang is drunk with power!
Anna Wu: He could have an accident.
[everyone looks at her]
Anna Wu: I know a guy, very reasonable... The prices, I mean, not him.
Morgan Grimes: Way to go Anna, thinking outside the box, me likey! What do you say Chuck?
Chuck Bartowski: What, are you guys crazy? I'm not gonna have a guy rubbed out just because he upsets are lunch schedule!

Sarah Walker: It says here his weapon of choice is a crossbow.
Chuck Bartowski: Oh, what slingshot too ineffective?

Morgan Grimes: Chuck, we have an emergence. We need to talk.
Chuck Bartowski: I'm on the phone.
Morgan Grimes: Shh, not here, not here, there are spies at the Buy More.
Chuck Bartowski: [hangs up the phone] Spies, really?
Morgan Grimes: Yeah, Tang's minions, they're everywhere! He's like the dark Lord Sauron from Lord of the Rings. Only instead of the ring of power he's taken over control the assistant manger ship.
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah, from me, thanks for the reminder.
Morgan Grimes: You got it man. Look we need your help, Chuck.
Chuck Bartowski: Me, what am I suppose to do? I'm just...
Morgan Grimes: One small hobbit? So thought Frodo Baggins, my friend, so thought Frodo Baggins!

Chuck Bartowski: [seeing the NSA chief on the TV] Wow, that new high-def screen sure shows every wrinkle.
John Casey: They can hear you.
Chuck Bartowski: What? Twinkle! Every twinkle... in her eye... eyes...

John Casey: You sure it was Magnus you saw?
Chuck Bartowski: Gee, I don't know, Casey, how many psycho archers do *you* know?

[repeated line]
Chuck Bartowski: Are you coming to the toga party?

Chuck Bartowski: [looking at a picture from a traffic camera] That's Flemming.
John Casey: [sarcastically] Gee thanks, you just saved me a lot of investigative work there intersect. The DMV told me that.

John Casey: List off the numbers you remember.
Chuck Bartowski: I don't know, the like ten of um, were a couple a nines a five, it definitely started with a two...
John Casey: That's it? You've got a computer for a brain, that's all...
Chuck Bartowski: Look it was a very stressful situation, okay Casey, I watched a guy get skewered by a crossbow!

Hippi Spy: Plant a Stanford tree, there a renewable resource for you children's future.
John Casey: Oh, so, you want to save the environment, uh? Take a shower hippie!
Chuck Bartowski: Nice job blending in with the crowd. Who are you rooting for, death?

Stanford Librarian: Hey, you, don't move, Charles Bartowski! You still owe the library $294.68 in late fees!
Chuck Bartowski: Do... Do you take credit cards?

Chuck Bartowski: Did you offer to kill Harry for Anna?
John Casey: No. Why, you want me to kill him?
Chuck Bartowski: No. No, just curious...

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Cliffhanger (#4.24)" (2011)
Chuck Bartowski: There's only one person who can get us that antidote. And that's the man who made the damn thing - Volkoff.
John Casey: Well, Volkoff's in a supermax penitentiary. Take weeks to get clearance.
Chuck Bartowski: Well then, I guess we're going to have to break in tonight.

John Casey: I know that voice.
Chuck Bartowski: Casey, you're going pale. *I* go pale. You don't go pale.
John Casey: Remember when I told you that opening the Agent X file would draw out a remoarseless son-of-a-bitch who would destroy our whole team without breaking a sweat? This is the guy they hired to kill that guy.

Clyde Decker: Name's Decker, Clyde Decker, and I'm informing you of a wash order on the Agent X program and Operation Bartowski.
Chuck Bartowski: What does that mean?
Clyde Decker: It means your CIA resources are revoked.
Chuck Bartowski: But Sarah is dying.
Clyde Decker: I DON'T CARE! Stand down or get buried.
Chuck Bartowski: No.
Clyde Decker: No?
Chuck Bartowski: Let me explain.
[hits monitor showing Decker with a chair]
Chuck Bartowski: That guy may think he's a hardass, but I'm the Intersect.

General Diane Beckman: Chuck, you realize if you go against Decker, you're going against the CIA. You and Sarah have to disappear forever. You'll never see your family again.
Chuck Bartowski: I'll do anything I need to do to save Sarah.

Chuck Bartowski: But Casey, they took the Intersect out of me.
John Casey: Shut up!You're Chuck Bartowski - the second best spy I've ever worked with. Now you're gonna save the best.

Mary Bartowski: Yes. But he's not you. He's a mean dictatorial, coniving...
Chuck Bartowski: Manipulative, amoral...
John Casey: Limey, but relatively good teeth.
Hartley Winterbottom: Sounds like I was a monster.
Mary Bartowski, Chuck Bartowski, John Casey: You were.
Hartley Winterbottom: And you didn't tell me this for a reason?... My daughter. I made her into me? I made her into Volkoff.

Chuck Bartowski: Casey, if I never...
John Casey: You get the antidote. You get it to Sarah. Then you disappear. You do whatever it takes. You save her.
Chuck Bartowski: ...Am I ever going to see you again mom?
Mary Bartowski: Not if everything goes right. Goodbye, Chuck.
Chuck Bartowski: I love you.

Volkoff's receptionist: Can I help you?
Chuck Bartowski: My name is Charles Car... Chuck Bartowski. I'm here to see Vivian Volkoff.
Volkoff's receptionist: And what is this in regard to?
Chuck Bartowski: She wants to kill me.

Vivian Volkoff: What's the trick, Chuck? What's the clever plan to get out out of this?
Chuck Bartowski: I'm all out of plans... The woman I love is dying and all I can do is hope that you haven't totally become this person.

Chuck Bartowski: [to Vivian] These are blank identities. They're very rare. And they're very clean. You'd have to giv eup Volkoff Industries. But if you take these, you can start over. Anywhere in the world - both of you.
Hartley Winterbottom: Charles - h-how are you going to escape?

Clyde Decker: You're all under arrest. Kind of disappointed in you, Bartowski. Thought you could get past me with a few of your spy friends. Should've know I'd bring an army to stop you.
Chuck Bartowski: I know the move... But we have a move of our own. It's called the "Magnet." You see, while you were looking at me, and all of my spy friends, you're missing something really, really big. Care of Volkoff Industries.
[Armed Paratroopers appear]
John Casey: Russians... so many Russians.

Chuck Bartowski: This is a file that contains all of Project X, the cover up, and your involvement in all of it. If anything happens to Sarah, my friends or family, this story hits the front page of ever paper in the United States.
Clyde Decker: You're done.
Chuck Bartowski: I quit! Now get out of my way!

Clyde Decker: You think it was all coincidence? The Intersect, Fulcrum, the Ring, Shaw, Agent X - It was all part of the plan, Bartowski. Pieces on the puzzle board. See ya never, civilian.
Chuck Bartowski: Wait. Wait. Wait. What plan?... Huh? What plan? My life was changed forever. My friends put in danger. My family... my father was killed, Decker.
[Decker laughs and ends the transmission]

Sarah Walker: Hartley turned over all of Volkoff's assets to us - wedding present.
Chuck Bartowski: 877 million dollars. Although I like to refer to it as a cool billion just cause it's more fun to say.
Morgan Grimes: Mamacita. That's a lot of money.
Chuck Bartowski: And who better to handle a billion dollars than me?
[Sarah glares at Chuck]
Chuck Bartowski: Us! Us. Us! Our first purchase was the Buy More and everything below it. Now we have all of Volkoff's resources at our disposal.
Sarah Walker: That's if you guys still want to take out some bad guys.
John Casey: Damn right we do!
Morgan Grimes: Right we do.
Sarah Walker: Do you guys want a job?
John Casey: Hell yeah!
Morgan Grimes: Hells yeah!

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Nemesis (#1.10)" (2007)
Bryce Larkin: Who are you?
Chuck Bartowski: Hey, buddy, it's me, Chuck.
Bryce Larkin: [Bryce looks at him] I don't believe you. What have you done with the real Chuck?
Chuck Bartowski: I'd like to come out now, please.
John Casey: [sarcastically to Sarah] Real born interrogator.
Chuck Bartowski: Great. Well, unless we're in the twilight zone, and I'm some kind of clone, the answer to your question is, 'yes' I am the real Chuck.
Bryce Larkin: Prove it.
[says something in Klingon]
Chuck Bartowski: Come on they're people watching.
Bryce Larkin: Do it.
[Chuck responds in Klingon]
John Casey: What the hell?
Bryce Larkin: Your Klingon's a bit rusty.
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah, I've been kinda busy ever since I got your e-mail.
Bryce Larkin: Did you open it?
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah.
Bryce Larkin: Your computer?
Chuck Bartowski: Destroyed.
Bryce Larkin: So your the only one?
Chuck Bartowski: I don't get it Bryce, why did you do it? Why did you send it to me? Why did you blow up the computer? And, last but not least, how the hell are you still alive?

Bryce Larkin: It's complicated.
Bryce Larkin: They saved me.
Chuck Bartowski: *They* saved you, did *they*? Could you be anymore cryptic? Could I get a name, a place, a something?

Chuck Bartowski: [at Thanksgiving dinner] I'm thankful that Bryce Larkin is dead and is not currently in my bedroom making out with my new girlfriend.
John Casey: [interprets Chuck's signal and goes to check the bedroom] Excuse me...
Morgan Grimes: Wow, buddy, that was um... really... dark.
Captain Awesome: And specific.

John Casey: [Bryce is using Chuck at a shield] I've got a clean shot.
Chuck Bartowski: No, you don't!
John Casey: You'll be fine.
Chuck Bartowski: No shooting, no shooting! I'm susceptible to bullets!

Bryce Larkin: [Bryce using Chuck as a shield at the elevator] What's the access code?
Sarah Walker: Bryce, stop!
Bryce Larkin: I'll kill him, Sarah!
Chuck Bartowski: Between you and me, I think he means it!

Bryce Larkin: [in the elevator to Chuck] You knew I wasn't really gonna do it, right?
Chuck Bartowski: No! No, I did not know that Bryce! How would I know that?

Sarah Walker: [to Bryce] Why Chuck?
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah! Why Chuck?

Bryce Larkin: [pointing a gun at Chuck] Close the door.
Chuck Bartowski: OK! OK, I'm closing the door, I'm closing the door, and I'm stepping into the apartment. *Please* *do* *not* *shoot* *me*!

Chuck Bartowski: [after seeing Casey's hidden stash of guns in the Buy More] Are you kidding me! Some kid could find this!

Bryce Larkin: Hello, Chuck.
Chuck Bartowski: Sarah and Casey are right inside, one girlish scream from me and they go into combat mode!

Chuck Bartowski: [to Casey] Hey! No guns at Thanksgiving!

Sarah Walker: How did Casey find out?
Chuck Bartowski: I made a rash decision.
Sarah Walker: You saw Bryce kiss me, didn't you?

Jeff: Chuck, the registers are down! I can't get them back up! What do I do?
Fulcrum: If you say more than one word to him, you're both dead.
Chuck Bartowski: Pineapple.

Chuck Bartowski: To your seven layer dip... tasted like eight.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Living Dead (#3.17)" (2010)
Steve Bartowski: [after Sarah saves Chuck] Does she have the Intersect too?
Chuck Bartowski: No dad. That's all her. Hi honey.

Sarah Walker: I've been thinking about what happened in the cabin. How you almost died. You everything that your dad said about the life that we've chosen, he's right. What we do is not safe. I want you to have this... My spy will.
Chuck Bartowski: Why are you giving me this?
Sarah Walker: Chuck, this is me. It's everything I know. It's my life and - if something were to happen to me - well, if anyone's gonna have it, I want it to be you.
Chuck Bartowski: Nothing's going to happen to you. You're not going anywhere. And neither am I.

Chuck Bartowski: [Writing his spy will] My name is Chuck Bartowski. And if you're reading this, it means I'm already dead. I don't know what will end up killing me. But I've chosen to be a spy, and there are consequences to that. It may be my emotions that end up doing me in, or a slip up trying to protect my friends, or my family, who never wanted me to be a part of this. Or it could be the thing I never saw coming. But I know it's coming.

Morgan Grimes: You dreamt Shaw was alive? Chuck, you saw him die though. You check for a pulse right?
Chuck Bartowski: Well, he fell into a river.
Morgan Grimes: "He fell into a river." Of course he's alive! Haven't you ever seen a John Carpenter movie?

Steve Bartowski: Tell me you're not in the CIA any more. Tell me that you quit.
Chuck Bartowski: Dad, the Intersect is out of my head. I've moved on. I can assure you .
[Chuck looks at Sarah]
Chuck Bartowski: *we* can assure you... that I am no longer a spy.

Sarah Walker: I think you should tell your dad the truth. I mean you need to be honest with the people you love, and that goes for me too.
Chuck Bartowski: I know. I know, Sarah. I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you about Shaw, and I - I wanted to be sure before I worried you.
Sarah Walker: If you dreamt that Shaw was alive, then you dreamt it for a reason. I mean the doctor said you're healthy, and your dreams can be as accurate as your flashes, right?

Sarah Walker: After our couples massage, he took me to Tiffany's.
John Casey: Did he buy you anythign?
Chuck Bartowski: Please. Everybody knows that you go to Tiffany's to browse not buy.
John Casey: Are those new earrings, Agent Walker?

Chuck Bartowski: Shaw was part of our team for months. He knows everyting. All of our weaknesses, including this place. I'm worried he's going to come after Ellie.
John Casey: We don't know what he wants.
Chuck Bartowski: Exactly. Which is why I need your help. I need you to look after her for me, make sure she's okay.
John Casey: Until we know what he wants, Ellie Bartowski has a second shadow.

Chuck Bartowski: The mission's over dad.
Steve Bartowski: It's never over, all right? There's always another one and another. And... the reason a spy has to have one of those is because every mission they go on could be their last. For every spy, there's someone who cares about them. Someone who has to open that box, read that message, and mourn their loss. This is a bad business. And I don't want my family any part of it!

Steve Bartowski: I-I just keep thinking, without the Intersect, why would they let you go on missions? You're an ordinary guy.
Chuck Bartowski: I'm not. I'm not an ordinary guy. The CIA wants me to work for them because they think I'm special...
[Turns away from his father]
Chuck Bartowski: Because they believe in me.
Steve Bartowski: You're right Charles. You are special.
[Throws a knife at Chuck. Chuck flashes and catches the knife]
Steve Bartowski: I knew it! You downloaded the Intersect 2.0.

Chuck Bartowski: Dad. Knife. Face! What if you were wrong?
Steve Bartowski: I'm never wrong.

Steve Bartowski: Charles, there's something I never told you. The Intersect - it can have a negative impact on the brain.
Chuck Bartowski: Ho -hold - hold on. What? You - you knew? You knew, and you didn't tell me?
Steve Bartowski: I didn't think I had to tell you. Youd didn't tell me you downloaded the new one.
Chuck Bartowski: But that's because I knew you would disapprove of it - and - and you know what? You left *again*. You taught me and Ellie how to live without you and that's exactly what I'm doing.

Chuck Bartowski: Is that a bullet proof vest?
Morgan Grimes: Is that a bullet proof tie?

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Dream Job (#2.19)" (2009)
Chuck Bartowski: [pointing a gun at Casey] I know what I'm doing.
John Casey: You have no idea. You're entering a world of pain, Chuck.
Chuck Bartowski: I want this Intersect out of my head. Are you going to help me or not?
John Casey: You gotta be... is that a tranq gun? You don't even have the common courtesy to threaten me with an actual firearm!

Steve Bartowski: [to Sarah about Chuck] Stanford? Not bad. He was alway a genius this one.
Chuck Bartowski: No. Not like you.
Steve Bartowski: You're right. He was smarter.

Steve Bartowski: Not a good idea. Tell her that I'm happy for her
Chuck Bartowski: Are you- are you joking? You have to do this. She's your daughter! Don't you want to be there?
Steve Bartowski: Charles, I can't...
Chuck Bartowski: I-I don't want to hear what you *can't* do! I've *seen* what you can't do!
[Long pause]
Chuck Bartowski: I'm sorry. I, uh, that came out wrong.
Steve Bartowski: No it didn't. You're mad. I left and you're mad.

Chuck Bartowski: [to Sarah as Steve's gathering his belonging for a trip] Maybe he's not as crazy as I remembered.
Steve Bartowski: [Steve enters] Okay, let's go get your sister married. Huh?
[Steve lifts the blinds a little to look out the window]
Steve Bartowski: Maybe we should wait til dark. They're - they're tracking my every move. Rat bastards!

Chuck Bartowski: [Entering] Ellie, hey.
Ellie Bartowski: [Ellie turns for a second] Hey, Chuck.
[Turns and faces Devon]
Ellie Bartowski: We can do cranberry which really brings out your - your
[Realizes he dad is with Chuck and turns around]
Steve Bartowski: Hello Eleanor.
Chuck Bartowski: Aren't you going to say something?
Ellie Bartowski: ...Pancakes.
Steve Bartowski: Oh boy.
Ellie Bartowski: You said you were going to make pancakes.
[Ellie storms off to her room]
Steve Bartowski: Well, that - that went well.

Ellie Bartowski: It's not your fault. I'm just - just so mad at him. Crazy old dad. Aren't you mad at him?
Chuck Bartowski: I was, yeah. But then I realized that - you know we can hate him for the rest of our lives or we can forgive him.
Ellie Bartowski: It's easier to hate him.
Chuck Bartowski: Well that may be, but he's all we got left, El. This could be our last chance to be a family.

Chuck Bartowski: We have to go. We have to go right now! I can explain all this to you later. For now, all I can tell you is, I'm not who you think I am!
Vincent: [the secure door opens, Vincent stands in the doorway pointing a gun] It's good to see you again. Both of you.
Steve Bartowski: Don't worry, Charles, I'm not who you think I am either...
[Steve knocks Vincent out]
Steve Bartowski: Are you coming? We should go Charles.
Chuck Bartowski: Oh my God! You're Orion!
Steve Bartowski: We should hurry.

Steve Bartowski: Granted, I can understand how this might complicate a few things. Come on!
Chuck Bartowski: What? "Complicate a few things?" Dad, I saw you die! I saw you explode in a helicopter.
Steve Bartowski: But I see how I could've given you that impression. I had to die quite a few times. One of the perils of being Orion.

Steve Bartowski: This isn't what I wanted, Chuck. But when I realized what the government was going to do with the Intersect. I had to run. I knew our guys weren't going to be the only ones who were looking for me. More importantly, I knew I had to stay away from you and your sister.
Chuck Bartowski: ...Wait. Dad, You were protecting us?
Steve Bartowski: I knew I had to spend the rest of my life hiding from the Intersect. I never imagined it would find you. It must be such a curse to have all those secrets trapped in your head. That's why I came back. That's why I let your handlers find me. It's my fault. FULCRUM's after both of us now.

Steve Bartowski: Now punch in the code, or we'll both be a little dead.
Chuck Bartowski: No, dad. You don't understand. It doesn't work like that. Unless it's up here. I can't do it.
Steve Bartowski: Yes you can. I designed that computer in your head, son. Flash, and it'll be the last thing you ever have to flash on.

Chuck Bartowski: That's the Intersect?
Steve Bartowski: 2.0. My baby. My greatest creation. After you and your sister of course.

Steve Bartowski: Charles, take care of your sister.
Chuck Bartowski: No, wait.
Steve Bartowski: Take care of yourself.
Chuck Bartowski: Dad...
Steve Bartowski: You can do this without me.
Chuck Bartowski: I'm not going to leave you!
Steve Bartowski: Remember when I told you not to trust your handlers.
[Steve opens the door, Sarah and Casey enter pointing their weapons at the FULCRUM agents. Steve walks to the FULCRUM agents]
Steve Bartowski: Maybe I was wrong.
Vincent: If your son is going to walk, he should do it now!
Steve Bartowski: Goodbye Chuck.
Chuck Bartowski: Dad! No!

General Diane Beckman: I also promise to entrust his recovery to our best team.
Chuck Bartowski: General, *we* are your best team!
John Casey: [Quietly to himself] I can't believe I'm going to say this.
[to everyone]
John Casey: Chuck's right!
Sarah Walker: No! You - you can't put Chuck back in the field. It's too dangerous! FULCRUM knows that he is Orion's son!
Chuck Bartowski: Look, as soon as my dad finishes the Intersect for Roark, I'm worthless to you, obsolete. And Fulcrum wins. The only thing that matters now is getting my father back. And you need me to do that.
General Diane Beckman: Very well, Mr. Bartowski. The assignment is yours... As long as your personal entanglements do not interfere with the mission.

"Chuck: Pilot (#1.1)" (2007)
Chuck Bartowski: [excitedly] I defused a real bomb! I defused a real bomb! I defused a real bomb!... What if I had been wrong?
Major John Casey: Don't puke on the C-4.

Sarah Walker: Chuck, listen to me. Those men are from the NSA. They're here for you and they will hurt you.
Chuck Bartowski: Me? Why me? I'm nobody. I'm the supervisor of a Nerd Herd, at a Buy More. Maybe someday I'll be assistant manager. but I don't even know if I want that job.

Chuck Bartowski: Morgan, this is a bad idea.
Morgan Grimes: Well, we can't stay here, Chuck.
Chuck Bartowski: I'm uncomfortable with the plan.
Morgan Grimes: Plan? What plan? This is survival.
Morgan Grimes: [after hearing knocking at the door] That's her. We've been compromised. I'm a ghost.
Chuck Bartowski: [Ellie enters and turns on the light] Morgan, you can't leave me like this. You can't do this to me, man.
Ellie Bartowski: Chuck, what are you doing?
Chuck Bartowski: Uh, escaping.
Ellie Bartowski: From your own birthday party?

Chuck Bartowski: [after the super secret computer was downloaded into his head] Morgan did you spike the punch?
Morgan Grimes: Something goes wrong you blame me. After all these years, where's the trust?
Morgan Grimes: Yes, I did.

Sarah Walker: Chuck, those pictures that you saw were encoded with secrets, government secrets. If you saw them, then you know them.
Chuck Bartowski: There were thousands of them.
John Casey: Wait a minute. You're telling me all of our secrets are in his head?
Sarah Walker: Chuck is the computer.

Chuck Bartowski: [on the roof top, after flashing on the data downloaded into his head] Look something's wrong with me. I don't know what, but something is very, very wrong with me. I'm remembering things I shouldn't know.
Sarah Walker: Talk to me, Chuck, like what?
Chuck Bartowski: I don't know. I don't know. Like there was a Serbian demolitions expert at the Large Mart today. don't you think that's a little odd?

Chuck Bartowski: [Sarah's dressed like a ninja, stealing his computer] Please, not the computer.

Chuck Bartowski: You mind driving?
Morgan Grimes: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you, are you, look it, are you being serious? You're gonna let me drive?
Chuck Bartowski: It's a company car, Morgan. It's not that big a deal.
Morgan Grimes: Whoa, whoa. It's not just a company car, okay? A hooptie's a hooptie, homeboy. I mean, this baby's sitting on chrome. Or plastic.
Chuck Bartowski: Do me a favor and stay off the 5, okay? Because the cops are in a phased deployment.
Morgan Grimes: Okay. Thanks for the tip, Ponch.

Chuck Bartowski: uh, phone trouble again?
Sarah Walker: Uh, yeah. I'm not sure I'm able to receive calls cause... I never got one from you.

Lester Patel: [looking at Chuck's destroyed hard drive] No, I've been through it. It's dead, it's totally fried. This hard drive was... murdered.
Jeff: What if you were the unwitting target of a ninja vendetta, and he returns tonight to strangle you with his nunchuks?
Chuck Bartowski: That's super, Jeff. Thanks for thinking outside the box on that one. And here I thought I couldn't get any more freaked out.

Ellie Bartowski: [Chuck enters, sounding bored] Hey, Chuck.
Chuck Bartowski: Ellie, captain. Don't freak out, remain calm. I have some news.
Morgan Grimes: [Morgan enters excitedly] Chuck's got a date!
Ellie Bartowski: [sitting up] What? *Who*?
Captain Awesome: Way to go, Chuck. That's awesome!

Ellie Bartowski: Aces, Charles. You're aces.
Chuck Bartowski: A dad quote. I'm impressed.

[First lines]
Chuck Bartowski: Morgan, this is a bad idea.
Morgan Grimes: Well, we can't stay here Chuck.
Chuck Bartowski: I'm uncomfortable with the plan.
Morgan Grimes: Plan? What plan? This is survival.
[knock knock]
Morgan Grimes: It's her! We've been compromised: I'm a ghost!
Chuck Bartowski: Morgan you can't leave me like this. You can't do this to me man!
Ellie Bartowski: [opens bedroom door] Chuck? What're you doing?
Chuck Bartowski: Uhh, escaping?
Ellie Bartowski: From your own birthday party?

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Third Dimension (#2.12)" (2009)
Chuck Bartowski: I watched you kill that FULCRUM agent in cold blood, Sarah. I am - I am not like you. Okay? I might have all these government secrets in my brain, but that does not make me a real spy. I - I need to tell you this in reality not in my dream.
Sarah Walker: Chuck... this isn't a dream.
Chuck Bartowski: What is it?
Sarah Walker: It's a nightmare!

Chuck Bartowski: How much tranquilizer did you use?
John Casey: It's high grade at a heave dose. Mr. Martin should be out for 12 to 24 hours.
Tyler Martin: [Starts to wake up] Jet lag is brutal.
Chuck Bartowski: Rock star metabolism.

Sarah Walker: Well you don't have plans, do you?
Chuck Bartowski: Would it be so crazy if I did have plans? Plans that involved something other than fixing computers or playing hot potatoes with a thermite grenade.
John Casey: Yes.

Tyler Martin: [laughing as he's dancing with 2 women] Chuck, we got a problem, these girls want to take us upstairs and do despicable things to us.
Chuck Bartowski: Tyler. TYLER! That- That's not- That's not such a great idea!
Tyler Martin: All the best nights of my life have begun with that very sentence.

Chuck Bartowski: I'm begging you, just once, deny yourself this pleasure.
Tyler Martin: You're right. It's totally selfish of me.
Chuck Bartowski: Oh good. Let's go.
Tyler Martin: You need this much more than me.
[locks Chuck in the room with 2 women]

Chuck Bartowski: [Casey shoots Tyler with another tranquilizer] Casey what is wrong with you? You can't do that! You'll give the guy brain damage or liver problems!
John Casey: Too late on both counts.

Sarah Walker: You know Casey's right. You could've gotten yourself killed. What exactly were you thinking?
Chuck Bartowski: What was I thinking? I'll tell you what I was thinking. I was thinking like I *wasn't* a spy. I was trying to have a little bit of fun. And I knew the second I called you two, it would all be over!
Sarah Walker: But you *are* a spy. And you should know better than to put yourself in a dangerous situation where *I* can't protect you!
Chuck Bartowski: Is it really so wrong for me to want a night off? I was have a really good time until the assisins stole my pants and tried to kill me. I've earned it. I deserve it.
[Casey shoots him with a tranquilizer dart]
Chuck Bartowski: I'm losing consciousness.
[Chuck falls to floor unconscious]
Sarah Walker: CASEY!
John Casey: My ears couldn't take it. Either that or I shoot him.
[Takes out his weapon and cocks it]

Sarah Walker: I don't know what's happened to you. But this is *our* job! Not only to protect Tyler, but the country and anybody else who needs protecting. We do whatever it takes not matter what! Did you forget that?
Chuck Bartowski: ...That I definitely didn't forget.

Tyler Martin: I've never been in a situation like this before. Life or death. Pretty much living my life avoiding anything that's real.
Chuck Bartowski: Takes some getting used to.

Chuck Bartowski: You could go back to living your life again. One night of bravery, for an entire life of normalcy... I can't even tell you what I'd give for that.
Tyler Martin: ...How do I know I can trust them? Your people?
Chuck Bartowski: Because I do. They're the best. Stake my life on it everyday.
Tyler Martin: I got one thing to say. Hello Cleavland!
Chuck Bartowski: It's Burbank.
Tyler Martin: Oh, I'm dyslexic.

Chuck Bartowski: He had threatened my family, my friends, and you were just doing your job. I get that but - Sarah, the guy was unarmed. And - and you just...
Sarah Walker: I did what I had to do. He knew who you really were. Your whole family was in danger. And I'm sorry. Sometimes I forget you never asked for all of this.

John Casey: Ah, finally, a mission without Bartowski. I'm going to enjoy this!
[Chuck opens the back door and gets in the car]
Chuck Bartowski: Guys, where are we going? Well, come on Casey! No time for a break we got work to do.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Gobbler (#4.12)" (2011)
Chuck Bartowski: Look guys, I get it. I - and I appreciate your concern. I really do. But I've thought a lot about this. When my mom disappeared into the Volkoff Organization, her mission changed her. She became a different person. But that's not going to happen to Sarah. She's always going to remain the same exact Sarah Walker.

Chuck Bartowski: Buddy... the beeps... that's Sarah.
Morgan Grimes: What?
Chuck Bartowski: Look she can't use voice communication when she's undercover. So the CIA developed tonal language for us that only we understand.
Morgan Grimes: Get out of here.
Chuck Bartowski: And right now she's - she's saying she love me... Or she's planning on buying a Buick. I can't really tell. It's a very confusing language.

Sarah Walker: I missed you too, Chuck.
Chuck Bartowski: Wow. I - it's kind of like I'm cheating on you with you right now.
Sarah Walker: Goodbye. Call me on the secure line with the plan.
Chuck Bartowski: Got it. See ya in prison.

Morgan Grimes: [Chuck is disguised as a prisoner] This tattoo belongs to the most ruthless gang in North America, you tap on this baby
[touches Chuck's left cheek]
Chuck Bartowski: What'd you just do?
Morgan Grimes: A little smudge

Morgan Grimes: [Morgan is disguised as a guard] This guy likes fighting other guys, dangerous, dangerous, this is the guy you don't want to mess with
Chuck Bartowski: Morgan they get it, they all look like they want to kill me

Chuck Bartowski: Which one of you is Yuri the Gobbler?
[The inmate rolls his eyes towards Yuri]
Chuck Bartowski: What are you doing? What's going on? What's with the eye thing?
Two-fingered inmate: The last time I pointed at him
[raises his bandaged hand to reveal two missing fingers]
Two-fingered inmate: swallowed them whole
John Casey: [over voice communication] Okay Bartowski, prepare to initiate the bite

Chuck Bartowski: What if they're in trouble, what if they need the Intersect, I'm going to go to Castle, see if I can get into Casey's file
Morgan Grimes: The tower, ninth floor
Chuck Bartowski: What?
Morgan Grimes: Try the tower, 9th floor, that's where they're going, I'm really good at the look at your phone, pretend you got a text but you don't notice I looked look, I know you're angry at me, I withheld information but I probably did it for your own good, I didn't
[looks behind him]
Morgan Grimes: know that you were gone, that's interesting, I've kind of been talking to myself

Alexei Volkoff: You're just in time
Chuck Bartowski: In time for what?
Alexei Volkoff: There is a particular moment when an agent decides to stop pretending and takes the leap to join the other side, your mother took her step years ago, come you'll see if Sarah takes her step, I'm sure she will

Sarah Walker: [After throwing Casey out the window] It's done
Chuck Bartowski: What, why!
Alexei Volkoff: Why? Don't you see Chuck, she did it all for you, a little bit of parental advice, give her a bit of space the leap is painful for all those involved but congratulations you're one step closer to the girl you love
[Chuck is hit over the back of the head]
Sarah Walker: Sarah; Chuck!

[Alex is wearing Morgan's previously unworn Back to the Future shirt and goes back to bed]
Chuck Bartowski: There's still time - you can get in there and save that T-shirt.
Morgan Grimes: No, I'm cool.
Chuck Bartowski: Excuse me?
Morgan Grimes: Nah, she looked... just... really cute in it, didn't she? Lemme ask you a quick question, what the hell's wrong with me?
Chuck Bartowski: Nothing's wrong with you, my friend, but I have news for you, Morgan: I think you're in love.
Morgan Grimes: What? I'm in love? I'm in love. Wait you're right. Wow, do I tell her?
Chuck Bartowski: Well, that's... that's a... kind of big deal.
Alex McHugh: [off-screen] Morgan? Are you coming?
Morgan Grimes: Let's finish this conversation at the Buy More. I have some more... snuggling to do, and... no, I'm not embarassed I just said that.
[to Alex]
Morgan Grimes: On my way!

Chuck Bartowski: [to Sarah after she notices him staring] I'm sorry, you look so different, drastic changes, the hair how do you do that? Is that wash or a wig?

[Alex is wearing Morgan's previously unworn Back to the Future shirt and goes back to bed]
Chuck Bartowski: You can still save that shirt
Morgan Grimes: I don't care; I've got a quick question for you, what the hell is wrong with me?
Morgan Grimes: Nothing's wrong with you, I've got news for you, you're in love
Morgan Grimes: I'm love, I'm in love? Wow, should I tell her?
Chuck Bartowski: No
Alex McHugh: [off-screen] Morgan are you coming!
Morgan Grimes: I'll be right there
[to Chuck]
Morgan Grimes: I'm not ashamed of cuddling

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the First Date (#2.1)" (2008)
Sarah Walker: Why didn't you stay in the car?
Chuck Bartowski: It's never safe in the car!

Chuck Bartowski: [on their date] What do you think Casey would do if he saw us now?
Sarah Walker: He'd die.

John Casey: [after Chuck jumps over the counter] Good to see you Bartowski.
Chuck Bartowski: Hey, Casey. 90 Twinkies in 3 minutes!
Morgan Grimes: Jeff's going to die!

Chuck Bartowski: Why didn't you bring your gun?
Sarah Walker: You don't bring a gun on a real date.

Chuck Bartowski: You want to go on a date with me some time? I mean a date without aliases, and spy gear, and no mission.
Sarah Walker: Like a *real* date?
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah.
Sarah Walker: Chuck,
[clears throat checks to make sure no one is listening]
Sarah Walker: I'm still a CIA agent. And there are a hundred reasons why I shouldn't do that.
Chuck Bartowski: What do you have to lose? In a week, you're going to be undercover somewhere in some place like Jakarta, in a knife fight with some evil doer and in that exact moment you're going to wish you would have spent one night of fun with me.
Sarah Walker: ...Okay.

Chuck Bartowski: Tonight... our first *real* date.
Sarah Walker: Or our *second* first date.
Chuck Bartowski: No gun fight, I promise.
Sarah Walker: Okay.

Ellie Bartowski: What about you any revelations? Any ideas what you'll do next?
Chuck Bartowski: Uh, yeah, a few.
Ellie Bartowski: If you say pilot the Millennium Falcon, I *will* hit you.
Chuck Bartowski: Uh, why would I say that? That's absurd. I'm going to be a ninja assasin.
Ellie Bartowski: No! Try again.
Chuck Bartowski: Um. Olympic ...
Ellie Bartowski: Uh Uh.
Chuck Bartowski: [slight pause] Secret Agent.
Ellie Bartowski: This is what happens when you sit in front of the television set too long.

Chuck Bartowski: [as Jeff is playing footsies with Chuck during his interview] That's not - That's not called for. Or welcome actually. Very unwelcome!

Chuck Bartowski: What exactly are you doing?
Colt: I'm stretching. Getting limber.
Chuck Bartowski: Why are you doing that?
Colt: So I won't pull a muscle when i break your neck. Maybe you should get limber too.

Sarah Walker: What about me?
Chuck Bartowski: [chuckles] You're really going to make me say it.
[Sarah smiles]
Chuck Bartowski: Wow, okay. Fine. All right we'll play it your way.... A girl like you, or more appropriately, a *woman* like you. Considering the fact that you could probably kick the ass of everyone in this joint. And a smart one too. Not to mention, cool... and extremely beautiful. And - and - you can stop me any time with the compliments if they're becoming... you know -
Sarah Walker: No that's very... sweet.
Chuck Bartowski: "Sweet?" Golly gee, thanks for making me feel like I'm 8.
Sarah Walker: [slight chuckle] You're not sure bad yourself.
Chuck Bartowski: [sarcastically] Please I'm fantastic.
Sarah Walker: [seriously] Yeah. You are!

Chuck Bartowski: You I still have an awful lot of secrets in my head, the Lindberg baby, formula for new Coke.
Sarah Walker: What are you saying, Chuck?
Chuck Bartowski: What I've always wanted to say, Sarah...
[they both lean closer together. Chuck gets a flash]
Chuck Bartowski: No, no, no, no, no! Not now. Not now!
[pulls back]
Sarah Walker: Chuck, what is it?
Chuck Bartowski: We're surrounded.

Chuck Bartowski: Hey, What's up buddy?
Morgan Grimes: Large Mart goons, they could be anywhere. I don't want them to see this.
Chuck Bartowski: What is this?
Morgan Grimes: Compound level from "Call of Duty". After our last battle with those Large Mart douches I started to work on this, planning on how we can take them all out. Alright listen up, here are the specs. Are you ready? 23 infantry troopers, 16 snippers, 7 heavy gunners, 4 demolition experts, and enough ammunition to orbit Arnold Schwarzenegger, 50 gamers, one call, all ready for battle. With this team assembled and my plan I think we can beat them.
Chuck Bartowski: Morgan, you are my hero.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Ring (#2.22)" (2009)
General Diane Beckman: How would you feel about working on the new Intersect project? Your government has been building its own Intersect. You've shown real promise. We'd like you to be an analyst. Your country is calling you, Mr. Bartowski.
Chuck Bartowski: Uh, well then I think my country might have the wrong number. 'Cause I'm just Chuck Bartowski, not a hero.

Chuck Bartowski: See? Guys can hug.
John Casey: Not if they don't have their man parts.

Chuck Bartowski: I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait any longer. Okay? Everyone keeps asking me what I'm going to do with my future. And the truth is I don't have a clue. All I do know is that I want you to be in it.
Sarah Walker: Please, I really have to tell you.
Chuck Bartowski: No. No guns. No lies. Just us. Just like I've always wanted. I've recently come into a little bit of money. So, any place you want to go. Any place at all, as long as it's sunny with little umbrella drinks. What I'm getting at here is... Sarah Walker will you do me the honor of... taking a vacation with me?
Sarah Walker: Chuck, I'm leaving in the morning. The details are classified. But I'm working on the new Intersect Project with Bryce.

Bryce Larkin: The cube can't fall into the wrong hands. I made a promise to Orion.
Chuck Bartowski: You knew.
Bryce Larkin: That was the deal. Your dad knew I protected you at Stanford. I was the only spy he would trust.
Chuck Bartowski: I can't believe you've known this whole time.
Bryce Larkin: He wanted to keep you out of this. But I knew you could handle the Intersect. I knew Sarah would find you. And most importantly, you deserved to know the truth about your father. He's a hero. Now, let's go get your sister married.

Chuck Bartowski: Oh god! Someone shoot me now.
Ted Roark: I can help you with that Chuck. A real shotgun wedding. Just think. That terrible pun is the last thing you'll ever hear.

Ellie Bartowski: I can't believe your *idiot* friends ruined my wedding. I'm just - I'm *never* going to forgive Morgan for this!
Chuck Bartowski: Well, I think you're going to have to. Because Moragan, and Jeff and Lester, they only did what I asked them to do.
Ellie Bartowski: What?
Chuck Bartowski: *I* did all this. I forgot your rings. So I asked them to stall. So if you're going to be mad at someone, you should be mad at me... Please say something.
Ellie Bartowski: You... ruined... *the* most important day in my life!
Chuck Bartowski: Ellie, you have to trust me, all right? Take these.
[Hands Ellie the rings]
Chuck Bartowski: And I'll take care of the rest. Trust me.

Chuck Bartowski: [to Morgan] Go with your heart, buddy. Our brains only screw things up.

Chuck Bartowski: You belong out there. Save the world. I'm just - I'm just not that guy.
Sarah Walker: How many times do you have to be a hero to realize that you *are* that guy?
Chuck Bartowski: But I want more Sarah. I want a life. I want a real life.
Sarah Walker: Chuck, I don't want to save the world. I want -
[Steve Bartowski interrupts]

Chuck Bartowski: [after Sarah leaves] I have to go.
Steve Bartowski: No. No. You don't, you're not a spy.
Chuck Bartowski: Dad... I *love* her!

Bryce Larkin: This'll destroy the Intersect. This new computer's too powerful. It's too dangerous.
Chuck Bartowski: But you need, you need the computer to fight Fulcrum.
Bryce Larkin: Fulcrum doesn't matter, all right? They... They're just... They're just one part of the Ring. They'll use it against us, Chuck. You have to do this, all right? You have to destroy that computer and then you get out of here.

Chuck Bartowski: Guys... I know kung fu.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Beefcake (#2.15)" (2009)
Chuck Bartowski: [to Sarah as she's cutting up some bananas] Look it's not you, it's me.
John Casey: [Casey enters] Probably not the best idea to give the "It's not you, it's me" speech to a trained assassin wielding a knife.
Chuck Bartowski: I was warming up into a more original territory, all right? Can you give us a moment, Casey?

Chuck Bartowski: I think we should break up.
Sarah Walker: Is that what you really want?
Chuck Bartowski: Yes it is.
John Casey: Great! The most annoying romance in my life is finally over! Downstairs now. Come on!

Chuck Bartowski: Maybe there's a -maybe there's a better way to do this. You know throw a sack over his head, drag him outside. Come on Casey, you're always - you're always up for a good mugging.
John Casey: Can't risk his contact seeing us. What's the matter, Bartowski, afraid of a little competition?

John Casey: Don't be a hero on this one, Bartowski. Leave it to the pros!
Chuck Bartowski: Excuse me, I *am* a pro! My job is a certified Computer and Electronics Technician.
Cole Parker: Great cover.
John Casey: It's not a cover. It's his life.

Cole Parker: What level is his pain tolerance?
Sarah Walker: I'd say about a one out of ten.
Chuck Bartowski: WHAT? A *one*? I'd say I'm least an eight!
Sarah Walker: Chuck, the torture hasn't started yet.
Chuck Bartowski: This is the pre-torture? Okay, okay. Put me down for a one.

Cole Parker: Do you really think the C.I.A. would put its entire database of secrets in his head? He's a pathetic weakling. How could they send him on assignments? How could even withstand torture?
Sarah Walker: It's true. He's just a Computer and Electronics Technician, a brave one, but he's not the Intersect!
Alexis: Then who is?
Cole Parker: Me! I'm the Intersect!
Chuck Bartowski: NO he's not! It's me! Okay and I resent the fact that I couldn't stand up to torture. Do your worst. In fact, you could stick that incredibly long needle in my eye and I still wouldn't tell you anything!

Alexis: We will try... a different approach. Tell me who the Intersect is by three... or I inject Agent Walker with enough Ricin to kill an army!... One... two...
Cole Parker, Chuck Bartowski: It's me!

Cole Parker: Well, I guess I better be heading out. Chuck, thanks for risking your life for me. Don't ever do it again.
Chuck Bartowski: Don't worry, I won't.

Chuck Bartowski: Ellie, Awesome, I have made a very important decision. I am moving out...
Ellie Bartowski: [Ellie gasps] Yes!
Chuck Bartowski: And moving in with Morgan.
Ellie Bartowski: NO!

Sarah Walker: Chuck, he knows you're the Intersect. We have to go into 24 hour protective detail until further notice.
Chuck Bartowski: What exactly does that mean?
Sarah Walker: It means we can't break up. And we have to move in together.
[Noticing Ellie, Awesome and Morgan]
Sarah Walker: Well Ellie's watching, we'd better sell it.
[They hug]
Chuck Bartowski: Are you sure about this? I mean he's a really tough guy. Maybe he won't talk.
Sarah Walker: Chuck, everyone talks.

Chuck Bartowski: That's why I think we should break up.
Sarah Walker: Is that what you really want?
Chuck Bartowski: Yes it is.
John Casey: Great. Most annoying romance of my life is finally over.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Suburbs (#2.13)" (2009)
Sarah Walker: Can I ask you a question?
Chuck Bartowski: Sure.
Sarah Walker: This is the worst Valentine's Day ever, right?
Chuck Bartowski: Come on, don't be silly.
Sarah Walker: Please, you're not going to offend me.
Chuck Bartowski: There's gotta be someone somewhere having a far worse Valentine's Day.
[Cut to Casey sitting alone in his apartment]

John Casey: 'Fraid you two are going to have to drop your dating cover for this particular mission.
Sarah Walker: No problem.
Chuck Bartowski: What is it? Thai street racing gang, Urkranian prostitution?
John Casey: No. No. For this mission you and Agent Walker are going to be married.
[Casey shows them two rings and hands them over]
John Casey: You two kids are going to the suburbs. Good luck as a normal couple.

Chuck Bartowski: Zip it, that is your wedding craziness right there. So keep that! That's yours. We're just house sitting, it's no big deal.
Ellie Bartowski: Okay, fine. Can we call it "Cohabitating with your longterm girlfriend in a house that doesn't have posters that were hung in the 8th grade"?

Chuck Bartowski: Well gotta run. You know how it is the old ball and chain.
Sylvia: Listen Charles, I just live right across the street. So... call me, when the honeymoon's over. I've got a chain too.

John Casey: [finding a bug] Looks like one of ours.
Chuck Bartowski: [Chuck gets a flash] Uh correction. That was one of ours. That bug was stolen from a CIA substation in Omaha in '06. Now it belongs to FULCRUM.
Sarah Walker: And here I thought we were looking for a garden variety terrorist.

Chuck Bartowski: Are you enjoying this who Martha Stewart thing? I can't even believe it. Please tell me you're not going soft on me.
Sarah Walker: Just shut up and eat your breakfast.
Chuck Bartowski: You better be careful, Sarah. One day you might actually turn into a real girl.

Sarah Walker: Look, we understand if this makes you uncomfortable.
Chuck Bartowski: Breaking my fake wedding vows? Nah, forget about it. I'm golden.
[to Casey]
Chuck Bartowski: Just hit me with another spritz of that, would you.
[Casey spritzes Chuck once in the face. Slight pause, then he spritzes Chuck again below the belt]
Chuck Bartowski: Why here?

Chuck Bartowski: Casey, I'm handcuffed.
John Casey: Relax, handcuffs are a cinch.
Chuck Bartowski: Really?
John Casey: Yeah, there's a bone in your thumb. Tiny bone. Real easy to break. What you're gonna wanna do is apply torsional pressure until it snaps.
Chuck Bartowski: I'm not going to break my bone!
John Casey: Well in that case, you are screwed!

Chuck Bartowski: [Arriving out front half dressed speaking to Sarah] You are never going to believe what happened to me over there!
Brad: [Watching from a distance] This ought to be good.
[pause Sarah slaps Chuck and goes inside and slams the door shut]

Ellie Bartowski: Well, what happened what went wrong?
Chuck Bartowski: I guess something that's been wrong from the start. You know?
Ellie Bartowski: Are... you guys aren't breaking up, are you?
Chuck Bartowski: No, no, no, no, no. Trust me. Sarah's not going anywhere.
Ellie Bartowski: Chuck, I guess I - I don't - I don't know what you're saying exactly.
Chuck Bartowski: Look El, I know how much you love Sarah. And I know how much you love the idea of us, and us moving forward with you and Devon, but we're not anything like you guys.
Ellie Bartowski: But you guys seem so perfect.
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah, I know. I guess, but being in that house with her, it was so close to being perfect. The way I had pictured it would be. Then I realized what was wrong with that picture... And it was us. Sarah and I are never going to be anything more than we are now. But you know what? I'm okay with that.

Sylvia: Charles, I didn't expect you to come so quickly.
Chuck Bartowski: Charles Carmichael *always* comes quickly.
[awkward pause]
John Casey: [over the radio] Smooth, Bartowski.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Other Guy (#3.13)" (2010)
John Casey: Chuck, I'm not an agent. You shouldn't be telling me *any* of this.
Chuck Bartowski: You know - you know what to do, Casey. Ok? Beckman told me to just sit tight. You and I know, I can't do that.
[Chuck's phone sounds an alarm]
Chuck Bartowski: Sarah just activated her locater. She's in trouble. Come on, man! You know how I feel about her.
John Casey: [Casey grabs Chuck's hand, and writes a number on it] Call this number. Request tactical support. You'll be forwarded to Colonel Sanders. Don't make fun of his name. You want air, armor, everything!

Chuck Bartowski: [Fighting over a bottle of whiskey] Let go!
Morgan Grimes: No. I mean, you are on the precipice of emotional ruin here!
Chuck Bartowski: *I'm already over the edge!*

Chuck Bartowski: But earlier on in my... drunken haze... I realzed I hadn't asked you a really important question. I'd like to ask you now if that's okay. Just once for the record... Sarah, do you love me?
[Long pause]
Chuck Bartowski: Wow. I'm, uh, in my underwear. I'm sitting in my underwear holding a plastic guitar. There's a very good chance I'm making a complete fool of myself, isn't there?
Sarah Walker: Yes.
Chuck Bartowski: I should probably put some pants on.
Sarah Walker: No, Chuck... Yes.
Chuck Bartowski: What?... uh, What?
Sarah Walker: Chuck, I fell for you a long *long* time ago. After you fixed my phone, and before you started diffusing bombs with viruses. So, yes.
[Sarah chuckles]
Sarah Walker: Yes.

Chuck Bartowski: What about my red test?
Sarah Walker: Casey told me. He told me that he killed the mole, and that you couldn't do it. And it was the best news that I ever heard, because it means you haven't changed. You're still Chuck... You're still *my* Chuck.

Chuck Bartowski: Now, I know - I know that you can't help me any more. I-I know all that. But Sarah's going to die without us. I can't do this alone.
John Casey: And I can't help you any more. I'm not a spy.
Chuck Bartowski: But you are a spy! YOU'RE THE ULTIMATE SPY!
Morgan Grimes: Was, Chuck, was. But the man's been Buy More'd. That's right. You deluded yourself into thinking that Buy More's your life. But wake up, John, okay? We need you to get on this plane. Chuck needs you to get on this plane. And if not, well, you know, find yourself Friday night with Jeff and Lester's crew hanging out in Woodland Hills. I know this because I was that guy. But Chuck, and Sarah, and *you*, Casey. You showed me I can be so much more. That I'm meant for something, be a spy. What about you? What od you have left in your tank?... What do you want to be when you grow -
[Casey grabs Morgan by the throat and slams him to the wall]
John Casey: Morgan, go to my closet, and get me my suit.
[Looking a Chuck]
John Casey: The black one.

John Casey: Chuck, focus. Forget about the Intersect. Forget about becoming a spy. Before all of that, you were smart. You're going to take this intel, you're gonnna figure out where Sarah is. That's what you have to do.
Chuck Bartowski: ...This is for you Sarah.

Daniel Shaw: [Hearing a fight in the background] I see you brought Casey.
Chuck Bartowski: Oh yes I did. And he's currently taking care of your *new* Director.

Chuck Bartowski: Please, it doesn't have to be like this... This isn't you, Shaw. You can't do this.
Daniel Shaw: No, Chuck. I can. *You* can't.
[Chuck shoots Shaw]

Chuck Bartowski: I couldn't let him hurt you, Sarah. Trust me. I did what I had to do. But I'm still the same guy. I'm still Chuck. I promise.
Sarah Walker: You saved me.

General Beckman: Chuck. Sarah. Excellent work. I've consulted with Colonel Casey, and he brought me up to speed. I'll expect a full report when you get back to Burbank.
Chuck Bartowski: Actually, General, uh, we're going to need a few more days in Paris.
General Beckman: No. I want you back ASAP. Last night a group of Peruvian assasins broke into the
[Sarah turns the laptop away from them]
General Beckman: Agent Bartowski? Agent Walker? I've lost contact. Get them back!
Chuck Bartowski: I don't know...
Sarah Walker: Shut up and kiss me.

Morgan Grimes: I hope you're happy.
Chuck Bartowski: She said she couldn't be with someone who didn't believe in her. Well I believed in her. I just didn't believe in me.
Morgan Grimes: Dude, you are misquoting the line and you are ruining "Pretty in Pink" for me. Now just stop it. Put the cap back on the top of the bottle and let's forget this night ever happened.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Tic Tac (#3.10)" (2010)
Chuck Bartowski: [after finding out Sarah has a flight to Washington] This is just great! So now you're going to meet Shaw in DC. Does everyone have a secret mission within a mission?
John Casey: It's not a mission, Chuck. This time it's personal.

Chuck Bartowski: [after leaving Sarah in the hallway] Hey, uh, shouldn't we stick together?
John Casey: No. Always gotta have someone watch your back. I got yours. The box we need is around here.

Chuck Bartowski: [Chuck laughs] Yes. I get it now. You're good. You are very good, General. You guys are good. Very good. This is a test, right?
John Casey: [Quietly] Bartowski.
Chuck Bartowski: [Spoken jokingly] First it was the solo mission on the plane, then turning an assett. Now this time it's "Chuck will you betray your country or will you turn in your friend and partner, John Casey, for stealing the pill?" I'll play ball. Okay.
[Pointing to Casey]
Chuck Bartowski: Guilty. He did it.
General Beckman: Are you positive you saw Colonel Casey take the pill, Mr. Bartowski?

Chuck Bartowski: Whoa. Whoa. Who. Hang on a second. Let's all just take a breath here, okay? John Casey is one of the most loyal spies out there. He would never do anything to jeopardize the CIA! Casey tell him.
John Casey: With all due respect, General. I will excercise my right to remain silent under the Fifth Amendement of the Constitution.
Chuck Bartowski: What are you doing?
General Beckman: Agent Walker, please relieve the Colonel of his weapon.

Sarah Walker: If we do this, and if we get caught, we're going to be tried for treason. And you're going to lose everything and you're never going to get a chance to be a *real* spy... Is that what you want?
Chuck Bartowski: It's Casey.
Sarah Walker: I was hoping you'd say that.

Chuck Bartowski: [Seeing Casey on screen in his cell] There look Casey.
[There's an explosion in Casey's cell]
Chuck Bartowski: I hope that wasn't me.

Chuck Bartowski: Casey, you don't understand. Keller is not who you think he is. He's part of the Ring.
Col. Keller: Let's go John.
John Casey: ...
[Looking at Chuck and Sarah]
John Casey: I know.

Sarah Walker: Look, I know that you want to be the perfect spy. And I know what you sacrificed to get there. But *please* don't lose that guy I met three years ago. Don't give up on the things that make you great.
[Sarah offers Chuck a weapon. Chuck pushes the gun back to Sarah]
Chuck Bartowski: I'll always be that guy.

John Casey: You could be charged with treason. Hell, you didn't even know I was Alex Coburn until today!
Chuck Bartowski: I don't care who you were. I *know* who you are. And you're not in this alone.
Sarah Walker: Keller still expects you at the meet. What are we going to do?
John Casey: Let's go to a meet.

General Beckman: Despite the success of the mission, Colonel Casey, you abused your priviliged position. And if you were anyone else you would be put right back in jail! But you are *not* just anyone else. And I'm about to give you your second second chance. Which is two more than most people get.
John Casey: Thank you, General.
General Beckman: Second chance as a civilian.
Chuck Bartowski: But uh, uh, General, Casey has given his entire life to this country. Surely you can't just make him start over.
General Beckman: He's done it once before... he shouldn't have a problem doing it again... For the final time, you are dismissed.
[Casey rises and salutes the General. The General shakes his hand]
General Beckman: Good luck John. Mr. Bartowski, please escort *Mister* Casey off government property.

Chuck Bartowski: You know you can still go back.
John Casey: The General made the terms of my dismissal crystal clear.
[Chuck tosses a folder paper to Casey. Casey unfolds it and find pictures of Kathleen and Alex]
Chuck Bartowski: I was talking about Kathleen. She lives right around here, man. And uh, you got a daughter, Casey.
John Casey: You know, I made my decision between love and love of country a long time ago. It was the right decision for me. Now you have to make a decision whether that's right for you... Walker's a good woman... It's still not too late.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Helicopter (#1.2)" (2007)
Chuck Bartowski: [to Sarah, who's interrogating him] You should know if you're planning on hurting me even to prove a point, I have a very low threshold for pain.

John Casey: [Casey's been shot with a tranquilizer dart] Pull it out.
Chuck Bartowski: I have a very strong aversion to needles.

Sarah Walker: I'm sorry I yelled at you.
Chuck Bartowski: It was our first fight. You know it's a big step if our relationship were remotely real.

Chuck Bartowski: Look, I'm not accusing you of anything... today. Yesterday, yes, I may have laid it on a little thick with the accusing, but I'm really sorry about that. Instead of not trusting you I should have been thanking you for saving my life and protecting the country and for making really tasty gourmet wieners.

Ellie Bartowski: Well, you've moved onto bigger and better girls. I don't really mean bigger like literally bigger... I just really like Sarah, and I hope you guys work things out before the next dinner party, of course.
Chuck Bartowski: I dunno, sis, I really think I blew it.
Ellie Bartowski: Look, Chuck, just try apologizing. It goes a long way.

Chuck Bartowski: Casey he's got Sarah, we've gotta save her!
John Casey: Brilliant deduction.

[Sarah's handcuffed wrists are strung up over her head]
Chuck Bartowski: Sarah! Are you okay?
[realizes Sarah is gagged with duct tape]
Chuck Bartowski: Stupid question. Should I, uh...
[rips the tape off her mouth]
Sarah Walker: Chuck, you have to get out of here.
Chuck Bartowski: No, I'm here to save you!
Sarah Walker: You shouldn't be here - you're too valuable! Besides, I have this well in hand.
Chuck Bartowski: Uh-huh. Yeah. 'Cause it looks like it's well in hand.

Chuck Bartowski: [after Casey tackles a shoplifter] Lives are not in danger, and the country is still safe!

Chuck Bartowski: Hi, my name is Charles Bartowski, but you can call me Chuck. Those are my shoes, this is my life. It's filled with spies, car chases, computer-stealing ninjas and me saving the day.

Chuck Bartowski: You see, everything changed when I got an e-mail from my old college buddy, Bryce Larkin. You see, Bryce had been working for the CIA when he stole a whole bunch of government secrets. Big, important secrets. Really scary, nasty, you-get-killed-for-having-them secrets. Next thing I know, these super secrets are downloaded into my brain. Which means every moment of my life is in danger.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Leftovers (#4.10)" (2010)
Chuck Bartowski: [to Sarah] Don't sound so skeptical, all right? If my mom were standing in front of me right now, I honestly think I'd say "All is forgiven. Good luck being an evil bad guy."
[Chuck notices a jewelry store]
Chuck Bartowski: And uh speaking of looking forward to the future...

Mary Bartowski: We can't stay here. Volkoff has contacts in the CIA. We have to move.
Chuck Bartowski: We should believe you because last time things worked out so well.
Mary Bartowski: Chuck, I didn't want to have to do the things I did.
Chuck Bartowski: Most people's moms don't have to explain to their kids why they shot them or tied them up and blew up their childhood homes.

Sarah Walker: So how was shutting off the Intersect meant to protect Chuck?
Mary Bartowski: It was meant to stop him from looking for me.
Sarah Walker: [Sarah's phone rings] Yes?
Chuck Bartowski: But then I went out on missions unprotected. She's made me even more vulnerable.
Sarah Walker: I don't think this is helping.

Sarah Walker: I don't get it. Why would Volkoff pull off a full on assault on a CIA facility for one agent? He's gotta be after something bigger.
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah. Well, whatever it is, there's something my mom's not telling us.

Alexei Volkoff: Tell them. I'm not leaving here without you, my love.
Chuck Bartowski: What?..."My love?"
Sarah Walker: What does that mean?
Mary Bartowski: It means that Alexei Volkoff is in love with me.

Chuck Bartowski: You've been close to Volkoff for years. Why didn't you just take him out?
Mary Bartowski: My mission was to take down the network, not the man. Which is something I *still* might be able to do. But if you want to save yourself and your friends, then you need to turn me over to him. You have no choice.

Chuck Bartowski: How can I trust anything she says. Everytime I do, I wind up getting shot or blown up. I haven't been stabbed yet.
Sarah Walker: Chuck, going undercover for so long, staying loyal is extremely hard to do as a spy. I mean I got lucky, I was assigned to you. Your mom - got Volkoff.

Mary Bartowski: Chuck, I'm sorry for everything. I hope someday you'll trust me.
[Mary starts to leave]
Chuck Bartowski: Mom.
[Mary stops and turns around]
Chuck Bartowski: I already do.

Devon Woodcomb: Stop! Okay? Just stop. I don't want to know. I don't want this spy stuff near Ellie ever again.
Chuck Bartowski: Never. Never ever again.
Devon Woodcomb: She doesn't want you near it either, understand? So this conversation never took place.
[Devon pulls out a computer]
Chuck Bartowski: Devon, this is one of my father's laptops. How did you -?
Devon Woodcomb: He left it for Ellie. It was broken, we fixed it. There's something on it: brain scans, memory problem. Ellie figured it out.
Chuck Bartowski: What - what does it mean?
Devon Woodcomb: I don't know. Neither does Ellie. But if you're spying again, maybe it can help you.

Chuck Bartowski: [after flashing] Guys. I know kung fu... again.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Aisle of Terror (#4.6)" (2010)
Sarah Walker: What's the matter? You look like you've seen a ghost.
Chuck Bartowski: I just talked to one.

John Casey: Chuck, how'd you get here?
Chuck Bartowski: My Mom dropped me off.

Chuck Bartowski: [On his cellphone] I had a feeling you wouldn't show up. I guess I should have expected it.
Mary Bartowski: Look to your 3 O'Clock. I had to make sure you were alone.

Mary Bartowski: [Sarah and Mary have their guns pointed at each other] You brought someone. I told you to come alone.
Chuck Bartowski: No, no,no, no. Technically not just someone, my girlfriend - Sarah. Sarah this is my mom - Mary. I don't know how to say this exactly, but please don't kill each other.

Chuck Bartowski: Okay, considering that you left me when I was, I don't know, 9 years old. And I still don't know if you're good or bad. I have every right to have a mother issue or two right now.

Chuck Bartowski: Okay, fine. Why me?
Mary Bartowski: Because I thought I could trust you. Just say you flashed on him.
Chuck Bartowski: Did I -? I'm sorry. What? You know about the Intersect?
Mary Bartowski: I may not know anything about you, Chuck. But I know *everything* about Charles Carmichael.

Dr. Stanley Wheelwright: Yes, the transaction's progressing just fine.
Mary Bartowski: Well, it may appear that way, but sometimes appearances don't tell the whole story. I've done some digging on Mr. Carmichael here. And unfortuneately, his story doesn't check out. It's a CIA trap. He's a spy.
[Mary rises]
Chuck Bartowski: What?
[Mary shoots Chuck in the chest]
John Casey: Man down! Man down! Walker get in there!

Mary Bartowski: Get in.
Chuck Bartowski: Are you crazy? You know I didn't think you could top abandoning me for the last 20 years. And then you shot me!
Mary Bartowski: And I will do it again if you don't get in this car right now.

Ellie Bartowski: It's ironic, isn't it? The mother I wish would disappear, is here to answer all my questions. And the mother I wish I could talk to, has disappeared forever.
Chuck Bartowski: Hey, Ellie, uh, you got plans tonight?

Sarah Walker: [as Mary is being taken away in a van] Stop! Stop! You have no idea what's going on. Your mom isn't the spy you think she is.
Chuck Bartowski: Sarah?
Sarah Walker: I'm protecting your blind spot.
[Sarah gets in the van, and the van drives off]
Chuck Bartowski: Sarah!

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Anniversary (#4.1)" (2010)
Chuck Bartowski: But today has been a strange, uh, day of interviews.
Interviewer: Really? How?
Chuck Bartowski: Well, for starters, uh have you ever had anyone fall asleep in an interview?
[Cut to an interview asleep]
Chuck Bartowski: Just after that, person sitting in your position got a little sick.
[Cut to an interviewer vomitting]
Chuck Bartowski: Just after that, the interviewer started going into convulsions.
[Cut to interviewer having convulsions]
Chuck Bartowski: The last interview I just came from, they - they told me they were going for a cup of coffee and they never came back.

Sarah Walker: Chuck, listen to me. You do not have to be a spy.
Chuck Bartowski: Oh no. No. No. I know. Yeah.
[Looking at Beckman]
Chuck Bartowski: Beckman just offered me a position and I turned her down.
[Beckman glares at him]
Sarah Walker: How did she react?
Chuck Bartowski: Well -
[Beckman activates a trapdoor beneath Chuck. Chuck screams]

John Casey: And with that single flash, we might just be able to take him down. Good to have you back.
Chuck Bartowski: Oh, I'm not staying.
Sarah Walker: I think he misses you.
Chuck Bartowski: Oh I know he does.
[Casey groans]

Marco: [after Marco orders his men to kill Chuck and Morgan] Well, it all seemed a bit... anti-climatic.
John Casey: I'm going to tear you limb from limb from limb.
Marco: Okay, I got it. Somebody please shoot this guy.
Chuck Bartowski: [Over the radio] Hello?
Marco: [to radio] Yes. Who is it?
Chuck Bartowski: Look, you clearly have no idea who I am since you only sent ten of your men to take care of me. So let me break it down for you: if you touch a hair on Sarah's head, I will do to you what I've just done to your men. Do you understand? I'm coming down there now.

Sarah Walker: No lying - that was our rule.
Chuck Bartowski: In all fairness, I was just - you know, keeping a secret. I wasn't lying.
Sarah Walker: New rule: No secrets. No lies.
Chuck Bartowski: Starting now.
Sarah Walker: Starting now!

Chuck Bartowski: If I set off the EMP, it disables the building then we walk out of here.
Sarah Walker: But Chuck, the computer. You will lose the file. You might never find your mom.
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah, well, it's not worth losing you... any of you.

Sarah Walker: But Chuck, you know what this means. You're going to have to rejoin the agency, and be a spy.
Chuck Bartowski: I know. The question is: do we tell Beckman about my mom?
Sarah Walker: No. Not yet. Chuck, what abou your sister? What are you going to tell Ellie?
Chuck Bartowski: I have to tell her the truth. I have to tell her that I am a spy.

Ellie Bartowski: I'm really happy right now, Chuck. I mean I'm starting a family - a new family. And you have Sarah, and you're safe. And - just - I'm really so happy now.
Chuck Bartowski: [Cut to Chuck and Sarah in bed] I couldn't tell her, not now. She doesn't want me to be a spy. But our dad gave me this mission to find our mom. To know the truth. I can't not do this. I have to do this!
Sarah Walker: That's not being a spy. That's being a brother.

Chuck Bartowski: [Entering the Manager's office] Um, hello. My name is Chuck Bartowski. And uh, funny, I-I used to work here.
General Diane Beckman: You still do work here.
[the chair turns around revealing Beckman]
General Diane Beckman: Hello Chuck. Welcome back.

Chuck Bartowski: General, I'm out of the spy game.
General Diane Beckman: You're out when I say you're out.
Chuck Bartowski: If memory serves you actually said
[Chuck impersonates Beckman]
Chuck Bartowski: "Chuck, you are out of the spy game."
General Diane Beckman: I changed my mind! You're back. Discussion over! And don't think you're going to find another job.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Final Exam (#3.11)" (2010)
John Casey: You need to understand that to Walkerr, Shaw, and Beckman, you passed the test. You killed Perry. Doing exactly what you were trained to do.
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah, except I didn't do it. You did.
John Casey: Chuck, I'm a civilian. Which means, technically, what happened tonight was murder. And no one can know the truth about that... *ever*... Not even Sarah. She'd be implicated too.

Chuck Bartowski: Hey. Why did you do it?
John Casey: Because you weren't going to. You're not a killer Chuck.
Chuck Bartowski: Thanks.

Hunter Perry: You're not here to arrest me either. I should've known. You might as well be one of them.
Chuck Bartowski: ...I am not one of them. I will *never* be one of them! And for that very reason, I am going to arrest you. In fact, at this very moment consider yourself *officially* arrested. Okay?

Chuck Bartowski: I thought I'd take a second to see how you're adjusting to civilian life. Apparently not so great.
John Casey: Baby steps.
Chuck Bartowski: More like baby kicks to the groin. We gotta get you reinstated, buddy. Without a license to kill, you are menace to society.

General Beckman: But if you succeed, you will be promoted. No more Buy More. No more handlers. Just real missions for a real spy. You will be based out of Rome. Your cover will be that of a billionaire Industrialist.
Chuck Bartowski: Serious - seriously? Monte bene! I love it! This is fantastic! We're all going to have to brush up on Italiano, you know what I mean?
General Beckman: No Chuck, just you. Agents Walker and Shaw will be based in DC and continuing to head counter Ring operations there. You will deploy before them.

Chuck Bartowski: So you and Shaw, you're going to be... living together? Is that it? Are you guys real serious or what?
Sarah Walker: Uh, I don't know. It's... it's different.
Chuck Bartowski: Different how?
Sarah Walker: Than with you.

Chuck Bartowski: [On a ledge with just a towel] This would have been easier in underpants.

Daniel Shaw: We've got it Chuck. Congratulations.
Chuck Bartowski: I am a spy!
[His towel drops]
Chuck Bartowski: Oh no. I am a naked spy.

John Casey: You took the test last night, and you passed?
Chuck Bartowski: Oh yeah. With flying colors, man. And I think we both know I have you to thank for that. So I-I wanted to give you a little something.
[Chuck hands Casey a box]
Chuck Bartowski: I don't think they're going to miss it down in Castle, do you?
[Casey pulls Chuck to the side]
John Casey: You know that giving away a Federally issued firearm is a felony, don't you?... It's a thoughtful felony.

Sarah Walker: The final part of your mission is to kill him.
Chuck Bartowski: Are you being serious right now? Are you kidding me? Kill him here? Now? I can't do that!
Sarah Walker: Then you won't become a spy.
Chuck Bartowski: But then... we couldn't...
Sarah Walker: No. Probably not.
Chuck Bartowski: Sarah, when all this started, I didn't think I had a chance of ever becoming a real spy. But if - if I can't do this then - then -then what'll I be?
Sarah Walker: Then you'll be Chuck, and there's nothing wrong with that... That's all I can say. I'm sorry. The rest is your decision.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Gravitron (#2.8)" (2008)
Chuck Bartowski: You should know I wanted to help help. I was going to let you get away. But you were about to kill Sarah, made the decision for me. You're under arrest, Jill. And I'm breaking up with you.

Chuck Bartowski: [to Ellie] And I realize that Jill, Standford and Bryce, that's a story from my past... But my new story is you, Sarah, and these yahoos. And sometimes it can be a real fun story.

Chuck Bartowski: [Message to Sarah and Casey] I also unlocked your door. Taking them to Buy More. Unleash the Casey.

Chuck Bartowski: I'm just too trusting. Ever since I was a kid, I really wanted to believe what everyone else told me, you know? I'm just getting used to this new job, with the spying and lying.
Sarah Walker: Don't get used to it. What makes you special is that you're not like every other spy. You're a good guy and you want to help people. Leave the deception to me.
Chuck Bartowski: I'm glad I have you.
Sarah Walker: Yeah, we're better as a team.

Sarah Walker: Hey, what are you doing?
John Casey: That the Castle manual. I told you that's Top Secret!
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah, I know. So am I.

Leader: Mr. Bartowski, you need to come with me.
Chuck Bartowski: Um, you told Jill to shoot me, why would I ever come with you.
Leader: I'd rather not leave the body here on the ride. What if some kid saw it?

Sarah Walker: General, Chuck is not ready for this type of mission, he could barely handle a goodbye with Jill and she's going to see right through him.
General Diane Beckman: This is our best opportunity to infiltrate FULCRUM but if you don't think he's ready...
Chuck Bartowski: I'll do it!... Jill betrayed me twice. That'll do it!

Chuck Bartowski: Excuse me. I'm sorry, General. But who in my life *isn't* a spy? My sister? My best friend? Should I just start asking people when I first meet them, "Hi I'd like the extra value meal, and while we're on the topic, do you covertly work for a government faction?"

Chuck Bartowski: [message to a trapped Sarah and Casey] Unleash the Casey!

Chuck Bartowski: [text message] Unleash the Casey!

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the First Fight (#4.7)" (2010)
General Diane Beckman: We're moving Frost to a Black Site Facility. That means no one gets to see her, especially Bartowski. Agent Walker, I suspect I can trust you to keep an eye on Chuck.
Sarah Walker: Of course, yes.
General Diane Beckman: Good. How is he handling all this?
Sarah Walker: Uh, he...
John Casey: He's fine, General. Calm actually, Very calm.
Chuck Bartowski: [Cut to Chuck] Calm? How am I supposed to stay calm? Sarah, I had everything under control. My mom was going to meet Ellie for 5 minutes then disappear forever. I asked you to trust me and you went behind my back. Why is it so hard for you to believe in me?

Mary Bartowski: You shouldn't be here.
Chuck Bartowski: I need your help.
Mary Bartowski: Why? The CIA thinks I'm a traitor.
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah. Well, I'm going to prove you're innocent.

Gregory Tuttle: I hate to make a scene, but I will rip your throat out with this plastic fork if you don't tell me who you are and why you're wearing an earpiece.
Chuck Bartowski: Well that would certainly make a scene, wouldn't it?
[Tuttle presses the fork harder]
Chuck Bartowski: Ok. Ok. Wait. Wait. You're Tuttle. You're Tuttle, right? You're Tuttle and I have a code word for you.

Gregory Tuttle: If she's in custody, then Volkoff will be looking for her. We haven't much time. He'll start with whoever she was last seen with. Please don't tell me that was you.
[Tuttle gets hit with a Tranq dart from behind]
Gregory Tuttle: Bloody Hell!
[Tuttle passes out. Chuck gets hit with a tranq]
Chuck Bartowski: Morgan... help.

Gregory Tuttle: [Chuck and Dasha have utensils drawn] Oh cool. A tiny weapon stand off.
Chuck Bartowski: En guarde.
[Dasha pulls out a large knife]

Sarah Walker: Is there anyone you *haven't* told about our fight?
Chuck Bartowski: Well...

Chuck Bartowski: I was just waiting until I calmed down a little bit, okay? It's our first *real* fight as a couple. Everyone knows that sets the tone for all future fights.
Sarah Walker: You're going to set the precedent by telling everyone what you're thinking and feeling *before* me!
Chuck Bartowski: ...See? That just makes it sound bad.

Sarah Walker: This is exhausting.
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah, tell me about it. How do you always fight these big guys all the time?
Sarah Walker: No, I mean fighting with you is exhausting. I hate it!
Chuck Bartowski: Me too. I've been thinking about you all day.

Chuck Bartowski: I don't need you to protect me. I need you to believe in me.
Sarah Walker: I do believe in you!
Chuck Bartowski: I mean *really* believe in me. Even when you think I'm wrong.

Mary Bartowski: Chuck, your father never wanted to you see this.
Chuck Bartowski: See what?
Mary Bartowski: [Mary shows a device to Chuck. Chuck starts downloading] But I know now he was wrong.
Chuck Bartowski: What did you -?

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Predator (#2.17)" (2009)
Chuck Bartowski: When did this happen?
Lester Patel: During the night. Look on the bright side, we don't have to buy TP for years.
Jeff: Why start now?

Sarah Walker: Chuck, your search for Orion was a rogue operation. Do you know how dangerous that is?... Very!
Chuck Bartowski: And I didn't tell you.
Sarah Walker: And you didn't tell me.
Chuck Bartowski: Okay, you're right. Completely and totally right. But Sarah, uh, I want to get this thing out of my head so I can get my old life back and have a chance a real relationship. Do you really think the NSA and the CIA are going to be cool with that?
Sarah Walker: You should have trusted me.

John Casey: [Referring to Morgan, Jeff and Lester] I want just one of them!
Sarah Walker: No!
Chuck Bartowski: Sarah, you're in the little boys room.
Sarah Walker: Oh.
[Sarah exits]

Vincent: You have one chance. Drop your guns.
Chuck Bartowski: Uh, sir. They don't have any guns. I personally put this mission together, and I forbade them from packing.
Vincent: Why would you do that?
Chuck Bartowski: I don't know. I just, you know - I think guns make things too easy. I like my spies to be tough. Look, you're not going to shoot anyone, right?
Vincent: It would be unprofessional not to.

Chuck Bartowski: Why are you coming here?
General Diane Beckman: Hopefully I won't have to shut down Operation Bartowski because of one foolish mistake. But if FULCRUM knows who you really are, pack your bags Chuck, you're leaving with me. Tell your family and friends - tell them nothing!

Sarah Walker: GEneral what if Orion can help Chuck remove the Intersect? Erase it from his mind?
Chuck Bartowski: [Chuck's secretly watching from his computer] Yeah. Yeah, good question Sarah.
General Diane Beckman: That's exactly what I don't want! Chuck Bartowski is absolutely vital to national security. He can never meet Orion! Do you understand that Agent Walker?
Sarah Walker: Uh... yes.
General Diane Beckman: What?
Chuck Bartowski: Sarah no.
Sarah Walker: Yes, I understand.

Sarah Walker: [Chuck comes running out a room and runs into Walker and Casey] Whoa!
Chuck Bartowski: No. No. No. They - they have Orion! They're going to take him to the roof!
Sarah Walker: No. We're not-
[Chuck breaks past them and runs up the stairs]
Chuck Bartowski: I can save him!
Sarah Walker: [Running after him] Chuck!
Chuck Bartowski: He's my last chance Sarah!

Chuck Bartowski: General, you don't want the Intersect of my head, do you?
General Diane Beckman: No, I don't.
Sarah Walker: General, Chuck has done everything that we've asked of him.
General Diane Beckman: Agent Walker, you want to protect him, but play time is over! Chuck I hesitate to say this...
Chuck Bartowski: Please, please hesitate.
General Diane Beckman: We are in the midst of a secret war with FULCRUM. And I believe the outcome of this fight will rest squarely on your shoulders.
John Casey: Oy.
Chuck Bartowski: No. Listen to the man, he's right! I'm not a spy!
General Diane Beckman: Do you know how many agents I've lost to FULCRUM? How powerful they are? Only this operation, only *you* have found a hole in their armor. See I can't lose you Chuck. I need you! It's time for you to become a spy!

Sarah Walker: Look, Beckman is a soldier and she sees things in black-and-white. But she is right about one thing. We're in the middle of a fight with FULCRUM.
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah, uh, I get that, I do. But this is not my future. This is what I'm doing right now. But I will get my life back.
Sarah Walker: Yeah, of course you will Chuck. We're still a good team, right? You still - trust us?
Chuck Bartowski: I trust you. Of course I do.
Sarah Walker: I'm on your side Chuck.
Chuck Bartowski: I know.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Muuurder (#4.19)" (2011)
General Diane Beckman: This time our search will be lead by the only man who knows what it's really like to be an Intersect. Chuck, we need you to find more Chucks.
Chuck Bartowski: Well, it's gonna be tough. Broke the mold, etc.

Chuck Bartowski: Using my own personality as a guide. I've created an extensive psychological profile. Langley combed their database for matches and sent me four spies that are perfect candidates. They're gonna be here in a hour.
John Casey: Good Lord! Four more Chucks.

Chuck Bartowski: And last but the opposite of least.
[Broady enters]
Sarah Walker: Wow.
Chuck Bartowski: Brody - the Brodster. Nerdy. Emotional. Into his family and friends. Disarmingly attractive.
John Casey: Good God! There's another one.

Chuck Bartowski: Colonel Casey would never kill anyone... who didn't deserve it.
Jodi: [about Sarah] And what about her?
Chuck Bartowski: I think I can safely say that my fiancee here... would never kill anyone who didn't deserve it.

Sarah Walker: So now we know what happened. But we don't know why.
Chuck Bartowski: Who are you working for Damian? What are they after?
Damian: I came here for you, Chuck.

Chuck Bartowski: [Rescuing Bentley] I hot wired the control panel using my stupid pocket protector. Thank you very much.

Chuck Bartowski: It's not just the computer, or the man. The Intersect is all of us Three of us working together. That's why it works.
John Casey: Don't ever forget that.

General Diane Beckman: It turns out Damian was wired 10 million by none other than Vivian Volkoff. It appears she's going after the man who took down her father.
Chuck Bartowski: Wait. Wait. Wait. Vivian Volkoff is trying to kill me?
General Diane Beckman: Your team will be contacted should any more info surface. For now, remain on high alert.
Chuck Bartowski: I'm someone's nemesis.
John Casey: For real this time.

Chuck Bartowski: [as Bentley is about to sacrifice herself] No. No. No. No. There's gotta be another way.
Jane Bentley: *This* - is what a leader does!
[Bentley locks herself in with the bomb]

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Sensei (#2.9)" (2008)
Chuck Bartowski: Dude, your sensei is a badass!
John Casey: Not my sensei. He's a traitor!

Sarah Walker: Wow, I've heard of Bennett. But I've never actually met anyone who actually trained with him.
John Casey: I can't talk about it. It's classified.
General Diane Beckman: We're opening Bennett's file for this assignment. Any personal knowledge you have could be vital for the success of this mission.
Chuck Bartowski: Come on Casey, share with us.
John Casey: In Hell!

John Casey: Bennett's at the Buy More?
Sarah Walker: WHAT? How is that possible?
Chuck Bartowski: Was. *Was* at the Buy More. Now he's at the Large Mart parking garage. I'm tailing him.
John Casey: No! Stop you imbecile. You're no match for him! Don't be an idiot!
Chuck Bartowski: Look you're only reacting like this because were hurt okay? Please don't lash out at me. Where'd he go?
[Chuck comes face-to-face with Bennett]
Chuck Bartowski: Oh God!
[Chuck drops his cellphone]
John Casey: Chuck? Chuck! Bennett's got him. He's probably dead by now.
Sarah Walker: Shut up and drive!

Chuck Bartowski: [after Sarah opens the trunk of Bennett's car] Actually more spacious in here than you might think.

Chuck Bartowski: [after freezing his shackles and freeing himself] Those seven years of MacGyver finally paid off.

Chuck Bartowski: Look. Look, I get how you're feeling man. I totally get how you're feeling. You're feeling betrayed by someone you really care about.
John Casey: You're damaging my calm, Chuck.
Chuck Bartowski: You've spent so much of your life pushing people away. Lashing out with hurtful words and punches. But I know why you do it. You do it because you're scared.
John Casey: WHAT?
Chuck Bartowski: Scared. Scared to be known. Scared that if we actually see who you are, we'd actually care about you.
John Casey: Shut up, Chuck!
Sarah Walker: Yeah, shut up Chuck. You're making him mad.
Chuck Bartowski: [shushes Sarah] Underneath that *extremely* terrifying exterior lies a man who deeply - deeply feels. You care. You care about us. You care about *me*. Admit you feel all warm and mushy about me. Go ahead say it, you love me John Casey.
John Casey: I'm going to kill you!
[Lunges for Chuck]
Chuck Bartowski: Wait. Wait! Hold on. No! Not me
[points to Bennett]
Chuck Bartowski: Him!

Sarah Walker: Nice work sensei.
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah, well. The thing is Casey doesn't have a calm center. It's more an angry center.

Chuck Bartowski: [mimicing Casey's voice] Well thanks for saving my life today, Chuck.
Chuck Bartowski: Any time, Casey. Yeah, you know what you're my friend.
Chuck Bartowski: [mimicing Casey's voice] Yeah you're my friend too.
Chuck Bartowski: That's really kind of you, Casey. Have a good night.
John Casey: [seriously] Thank you.
[closes door]

Chuck Bartowski: Dad's going to walk you down the aisle.
Ellie Bartowski: You can't... say that Chuck. I know you want that for me, but - we haven't heard from him in a really long time.
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah well, I'm going to find him. I'm a smart guy, I can do that. And when he hears about the wedding, he'll be here for you.
Ellie Bartowski: Come on. You really think he'll make it?
Chuck Bartowski: I guarantee it.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Ring: Part II (#3.19)" (2010)
Ellie Bartowski: I don't understand how you can know all this, how you can have all these secrets and I'm the *last* person to know. I thought I knew you better than anyone.
Chuck Bartowski: Not telling you was the best way to keep you safe. Believe me, there's no one I wanted to tell more. I mean, you raised me, you know?

Chuck Bartowski: He wasn't crazy... Our dad was a great man, who did amazing things. He was not perfect, not as a dad, no. But he was great.
[Chuck sighs]
Chuck Bartowski: That's the secret I most wanted you to know.

Chuck Bartowski: We're going after them, and we're gonna take 'em down. The Ring. Shaw. For what they did to dad, they're not gonna get away with this.
Ellie Bartowski: Okay... And then you're done.
Chuck Bartowski: What?
Ellie Bartowski: As a spy. This - this life, this job. Chuck, I made a promise to keep you safe, and I can't do it. Not from this. So you finish it - and then you're done.
Chuck Bartowski: Ellie, I...
Ellie Bartowski: We're all that we have left, Chuck. And I'm not going to lose you, too.
Chuck Bartowski: ...Okay, I'll get Shaw and quit... I promise.

John Casey: Conference will be surrounded by an army of security agents. Filled with spies. Suicide mission.
Chuck Bartowski: The only ones who could pull it off would have to be the best spies in the world.
Morgan Grimes: Chuck, you're embarrassing me.
[Everyone glares at Morgan]
Sarah Walker: ...We can do it.
Chuck Bartowski: We better. It's Shaw. We don't have a choice.
John Casey: Yeah. Let's go get some payback.

Daniel Shaw: Yes, I killed your father. Yes, I work for the Ring in order to destroy the CIA. Still I'm going to walk out of here as a hero. How does that make you feel?
Chuck Bartowski: [Chuck rises slowly] You know your Nerd Herd associate can also help you with video conferencing. Smile Daniel, you're on TV. What do I have to say to that?... Mu ha ha.

Chuck Bartowski: I ptomised her I'd leave. That I wouldn't be a spy any more.
Sarah Walker: What?
Chuck Bartowski: Ellie, she's going to be so mad at me if I die.

Chuck Bartowski: Gunfight? Is that what you *really* want?
Daniel Shaw: Do you have one good flash left?
Chuck Bartowski: Saved the best for last.

Chuck Bartowski: Sarah, I told Ellie I'd quit after we stopped the Ring - and I meant it. I can't lie to her. Think you can love a regular guy?
Sarah Walker: Well, I fell in love with a regular guy.

Steve Bartowski: Hello Chuck. If you're seeing this, that means I wasn't able to stop this message from sending. Which also means, I'm dead. What do I say about that? Um, I- I'm sorry. And - and - well I hope you and your sister know how much I love you - loved you. Now I need you to do something for me. Something secret. You better get a pen. I never wanted you to be a spy. I knew how dangerous this world is, what it does to the people in it. Boy, do I know that. That's why I kept something from you. Something about me -about Orion. I've been a spy for the last 20 years, working for myself. Doing things governments have been afraid to do. Maybe being a spy is - is in our blood. And - and maybe I should have... told you all of this long ago. But Chuck, your story is only just beginning. It's time you knew the truth about my work, and the people who tried to destroy me. Because if I'm gone, then you're not safe from them anymore. Neither is Ellie. These people they are ruthless, cunning and - Chuck, it's - it's time you learned the truth about your family. 'Cause I did all this for her.
Chuck Bartowski: [Picking up half a broken bracelet] Mom?

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Pink Slip (#3.1)" (2010)
General Diane Beckman: The problem is not with the computer. It's with you. The Intersect 2.0 was designed to go into a real spy, like Bryce Larkin. Someone in complete control of his emotions.
Chuck Bartowski: What are you saying?
General Diane Beckman: It's over. Our Los Angeles field unit will keep an eye on you until a final decision can be made regarding your status.

Sarah Walker: We could run? You and me. We go now and never look back.
Chuck Bartowski: Are you serious?
Sarah Walker: I have some money saved up. I'd have to ge us some new identities. Create an escape route. For now go to the training facility in Prague. Then meet me in the Nadrazzi Train Station in 3 weeks time at 7:00. And then I can figure out the rest later.
Chuck Bartowski: Waht are you saying?
Sarah Walker: I'm saying I want to be a real person again, with you. That's what you want, right? I mean this is it, Chuck. Will you run away with me?
Chuck Bartowski: [Thinks about it] Yeah.

John Casey: Hey, what happened between you and Walker?
Chuck Bartowski: Something I need to fix.

Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: Does the CIA let you just leave like that? Don't they send someone to like kill you or something?
Chuck Bartowski: [Chuck laughs] I think you watch too much movies.

Chuck Bartowski: OH, Javier, uh you know, I think we actually got off on the wrong foot. Truth be told I'm a huge fan of Marachi Music. And my hitting you was completely unintentional.

Sarah Walker: It's not that simple. You don't know who you're working for. It's complicated. Nothing is real. *This*
[Sarah holds Chuck's hand]
Sarah Walker: this is simple. This is a real life... We have to go Chuck... Are you coming?
Chuck Bartowski: [Long pause, Chuck let's go of Sarah's hand] I can't. I'm sorry.

Chuck Bartowski: Sarah you don't get it. You and Casey were right, okay. I'm - I'm a lemon. I don't work. My emotions just mess everything up.
Sarah Walker: No. Chuck, listen. I was wrong and ever since you went to Prague. I have worked with the best spies in the world. And you know what?
Chuck Bartowski: Thy're on their way here to save us?
Sarah Walker: None of them can do what you can do. You're a spy. Now flash on Javier and get us out of here.

Javier Cruz: When I'm done with you. I'm going to deal with her. The girl.
Chuck Bartowski: [Chuck flashes] Me first.

Chuck Bartowski: It was never about you.
Sarah Walker: Stop
[Sarah sighs]
Sarah Walker: I - acted impulsively. And it's a mistake I don't usually make. And it won't happen again.
Chuck Bartowski: But Sarah...
Sarah Walker: You're a spy now, Chuck... You have to keep your feelings to yourself.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the A-Team (#4.18)" (2011)
Chuck Bartowski: Hang on a second: Is that Greta? And the other Greta?
John Casey: Chuck, Sarah - meet my new team.

Chuck Bartowski: I just can't believe Casey replaced us.
Sarah Walker: I can't believe the CIA replaced us.
Chuck Bartowski: Come again?
Sarah Walker: Who do you think is getting all our missions?

Chuck Bartowski: You guys a couple or something?
Captain Richard Nobel: Don't be ridiculous.
Captain Victoria Dunwoody: It's against agency protocol.
Captain Richard Nobel: Romantic entanglements lead to lapses in judgement.
Captain Victoria Dunwoody: You ought to know.

Chuck Bartowski: All we gotta do is get through 4 inches of solid steel.
Sarah Walker: Or we chop off Casey's hand.
Chuck Bartowski: Let's keep that as our back up plan, shall we?
Sarah Walker: Sure.

Chuck Bartowski: Let me in!
Morgan Grimes: Over my dead body, Chuck!
Sarah Walker: [Sarah drops in from the ceiling] How about over your tranq'd body?
Morgan Grimes: You were distracting me so she could break in.
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah.
Morgan Grimes: Clever girl. Are you using the 5 milligram darts?
Sarah Walker: 10.
Morgan Grimes: Please tell Casey I put up a good fight.

Captain Victoria Dunwoody: Sorry Batowski. The Intersect Project is classified.
Chuck Bartowski: Classi- Classified? I'm not authorized to be down here? What? I *am* the Intersect!
Captain Richard Nobel: You're not as special as you think.

Sarah Walker: [after Chuck fights Nobel and Dunwoody] Chuck, what is happening?
Chuck Bartowski: We're following the same program. Sarah... they're Intersects.

Chuck Bartowski: We're going to have to improvise out way through this one.
Captain Richard Nobel: Impro-? It's a nuclear bomb!
John Casey: Stow it Captain!

Chuck Bartowski: Well might as well bring this.
[Picking up the Final Fantasy II game cartridge]
Chuck Bartowski: It's gonna be a long flight.
Sarah Walker: I'm sure we can find something else to pass the time.
[Sarah kisses Chuck, then leaves]
Chuck Bartowski: Oh mmm. Not to be crude, but you were talking about sex, right?

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Last Details (#4.23)" (2011)
Sarah Walker: Everything is perfect. Nothing can go wrong.
Chuck Bartowski: Sarah, you didn't.
Morgan Grimes: [Sound of a crash in the background] CHUCK!

Chuck Bartowski: No. No. Casey. We have the week off.
Sarah Walker: You better be here to talk about mimosas or wedding.
John Casey: I am. Your mother might not be able to make it.
Chuck Bartowski: Why? What happened?
John Casey: She's been taken - by Vivian Volkoff.

Vlad: All right you two crazy kids take him back to Cell 24. But uh, I think this girl's already been to Cell 24. She looks like a dirty one.
[Vlad laughs dirtly. Chuck laughs nervously]
Chuck Bartowski: Oh, I get it - Cell 24. Dirty one.
[Chuck knocks out Vlad]
Sarah Walker: Honey, that's so sweet. You defended my honor.

Chuck Bartowski: Here's the plan. I'm going to go with Casey to get the Norseman. Sarah, you're gonna stay here with mom to make sure she doesn't get tortured. Everbody g...
Mary Bartowski: I don't need backup!
Sarah Walker: Why doesn't Casey stay with your mom?
John Casey: Hell no! I'm going with Chuck.

John Casey: Intereresting choice, Bartowski. Choosing your mom over your fiancee.
Chuck Bartowski: Oh come on, man. I was just trying to make everyone else feel - wait a minute! Wait. Wait. Is that how it looked?
John Casey: Just remember Bartowski, Sarah's the one you're going to be sleeping next to everyday. She's the one you need to protect.

Vivian Volkoff: The woman who betrayed my father is the mother of the man who betrayed me? Ooo. Makes sense.
Chuck Bartowski: Vivian, there's still so much that you don't know about and we need to talk about.
Vivian Volkoff: No, I'm done talking with you.

Chuck Bartowski: Can't someone else go? I mean our - our rehearsal dinner's tomorrow.
General Diane Beckman: I'm afraid we don't have time to train a new team. Oh, and thanks for the invite.
Chuck Bartowski: Oh... no, um.
General Diane Beckman: I'm not serious.

Mary Bartowski: I don't mean to be critical but obviously you've been very busy getting ready for the wedding. Your minds have been elsewhere.
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah, like maybe in the fact that dad turned an innocent man into Alexi Volkoff. Mom, did you know about Agent X?
Mary Bartowski: Chuck, I could not afford to let the CIA know that I knew about Agent X. And neither should you. That's obviously another mess I have to clean up.

Chuck Bartowski: Vivian, what do you want?
Vivian Volkoff: To make you feel pain - the way I feel right now. I've lost everyone important to me and I have you and your family to blame for it.
Chuck Bartowski: Wait. Wait. Wait. We can talk about this.
Vivian Volkoff: Or how about you look around the room at all your family and friends - and ask yourself which one am I going to take from you? You see, I still have another Norseman device.
Chuck Bartowski: Pl-please. Please. Please, Vivian. This is not you, okay? You don't do things like this. Please don't do this.
Vivian Volkoff: I already have.
[Vivian uses the Norseman]
Sarah Walker: What's wrong?
Chuck Bartowski: I think Vivian's gonna try and kill my mom.
[Chuck starts moving towards his mother. Sarah starts to feel pain]
Sarah Walker: Oh God! Something's -
[Sarah's nose bleeds. Chuck realizes Vivian's true target]
Sarah Walker: Oh.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the First Kill (#2.20)" (2009)
Chuck Bartowski: How do I know I can trust them? The government wants to keep the Intersect in my head. My father's the only one who can get it out. It's not rocket science.
Sarah Walker: Okay, I know that you don't trust them. But do you trust me?
Chuck Bartowski: ...Yeah.
Sarah Walker: Good. Then I promise you, we're going to find him.

Chuck Bartowski: I've spent the last year of my life being tortured, dangled off skyscrapers, bathed in sewage. Stop me if I've forgotten any glamorous perks of this job. I've continually done everything that you guys have asked me to do. But once my dad gets kidnapped, all you can say is "Sorry?"

Sarah Walker: Chuck, you have to realize that there are some people you just cannot trust.
Chuck Bartowski: Sarah, I know that already... I don't trust anyone, except for you. And right now, I need you to trust me. Jill is the only way I'm gonna get my dad back.
Sarah Walker: Chuck, the answer is no.

Dr. Jill Roberts: What happened?
Chuck Bartowski: Whe he attacked me, I did the Morgan, and he flew out the window.
Dr. Jill Roberts: Two kills in two days. That Morgan move really is killer.

Chuck Bartowski: Look Jill, there was no deal. I lied to you because at the time, I was willing to do whatever it took to find my father. But not anymore. You held up your side of the bargain, and I'm going to hold up mine. I told you I wouldn't let them change me, and I won't!
Dr. Jill Roberts: Thank you, Chuck.
Chuck Bartowski: You should go before they get here.
Dr. Jill Roberts: Okay.
[Jill starts to leave]
Chuck Bartowski: But Jill. Look, you're going to be all alone out there, no friends, no money, nothing.
[Pulls out the ring]
Chuck Bartowski: This is worth a lot. Casey's probably going to kill me.
[Chuck gives her the ring]
Chuck Bartowski: I always dreamt of giving you a ring, Jill, just not like this.
Dr. Jill Roberts: You're sure you can trust them, right?
Chuck Bartowski: Go.

Chuck Bartowski: I owe you an apology.
Sarah Walker: For what?
Chuck Bartowski: I was beginning to think that I couldn't trust you anymore, Sarah. That maybe Jill was right. That the CIA would always put their best interests ahead of mine... But not you. You always looked out for me. Thank you.
Sarah Walker: [pause. Sarah hugs Chuck and whispers in his ear] Take off your watch.
Chuck Bartowski: Why?
Sarah Walker: Because it's all a lie. Your dad is still out there. Beckman sent me to bring you back to Castle. They're going to take you underground. We have to run.

Chuck Bartowski: You're disobeying orders for me. You're committing treason, Sarah. You could go to jail.
Sarah Walker: I know.

Chuck Bartowski: You can't shoot us. Because the whole family will hear it.
Uncle Bernie: You're right, I can't.
[Bernie puts the gun away. Chuck sigh. Bernie picks up a baseball bat]
Uncle Bernie: But I can beat you to death.
Chuck Bartowski: I was really hoping for a third option that did not include death.

Bill Begley: Good news, bad new, Charles. The good news is that your father is too valuable for us to kill. The bad news, you're not! Now step away from that...
[Chuck does the Morgan, and Bergey falls out the window]
Chuck Bartowski: What is it with that move?

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Seduction Impossible (#4.14)" (2011)
Chuck Bartowski: [as Chuck's family are making Wedding suggestions] Wow. Family... intense.
Sarah Walker: I'm actually sweating. The last time I sweated there was gunfire involved.
John Casey: I hear you. We need a bad guy.
Chuck Bartowski: So badly.
Sarah Walker: Guys, we need a mission.

Chuck Bartowski: General, we were just wondering if there was anything that you or the counttry needed - from us. Preferably outside of America.
General Diane Beckman: Actually, I do have a mission, but it would be off the books. You would have no support, and it's extremely dangerous.
Chuck Bartowski, Sarah Walker: We're in!
John Casey: In!
General Diane Beckman: Then your mission is to rescue and return one of our own: Roan Montgomery.

Chuck Bartowski: What's going on with the General? She's a hot mess.
John Casey: General Beckman and Roan Montgomery have a bit of a history
Sarah Walker: Their romance has been going on for... decades. Historic events happen when those two are together.
John Casey: Berlin '89. Iraq '91. Florida 2000.
Sarah Walker: Which is why we better go get him.

Chuck Bartowski: Again Casey, I can't apologize enough for that accidental touching in there. It's very tight changing space.
John Casey: Yeah, don't mention it.

Chuck Bartowski: Sarah, I don't want to elope. Ok? I just don't! Not at all. Not even the slightest bit. I've always wanted a big family wedding and now more than ever- so no. My answer to eloping is no!
Sarah Walker: I hear what you're saying. But why do you get to say "no?" What about what I want?

Chuck Bartowski, Sarah Walker: Uh oh.
Roan Montgomery: What? What's happening?
Chuck Bartowski: Casey's going to try to seduce the guard.
Roan Montgomery: No. What? The man who flunked my course at the Farm *twice*!
Sarah Walker: [to the commuicator] Casey, uh, that's not a very good idea. Don't you have a gun or some explosives?

Sarah Walker: Ma'am, Fatima will have Roan shot on sight. No man could seduce Fatima Tazi twice. It's a...
Chuck Bartowski: Seduction impossible.
General Diane Beckman: Get him.
Chuck Bartowski: General, I know that Roan has broken... a promise or two, but you can't send the man to his death.
General Diane Beckman: Get me Roan Montgomery!

Chuck Bartowski: Okay, well, look, we know my family's stressful, but what else? What, you know,other pros and cons of having a big wedding?
Sarah Walker: Well, okay, I mean, who am I going to invite? Who's going to come? And who's going to walk me down the aisle?
Chuck Bartowski: I'm such an idiot. This is never about my family. This is about yours. I'm so sorry. I should've figured that out.
Sarah Walker: I should have told you and not have you figure it out.
John Casey: [From behind a wall] You have got to be kidding me about this conversation! I'm about to cut my arm off.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Mask (#3.7)" (2010)
Hannah: You and your ex-girlfriend...
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah. What? Who? Sarah?
Hannah: Yeah. Morgan said you guys were done.
Hannah: 100% done-zo. Why?
[sees Sarah with Daniel Shaw on TV monitor]
Hannah: That is her, right? Any idea what she's doing here? Other than making you jealous with that ridiculously good-looking date of hers.
Chuck Bartowski: Ridiculously good... Him? Him? Nah. Yeah, if you're into strong kind, of Superman-y type of a guy.

Hannah: How about you bring me on your next install?
Chuck Bartowski: Whoa. Whoa. Easy there. Before you can run, you must first learn to crawl, young grasshopper.
Hannah: Ok. Well, maybe you would prefer to go with Jeff then. Just the two of you into that tiny hot Nerd Mobile.
Chuck Bartowski: Well played, newbie. Next assignment, you get to ride shotgun.

Daniel Shaw: Any questions? Concerns?
Sarah Walker: You mean other than us bringing a civilian on the mission?
John Casey: I do have some new tranq darts I'd like to try out.
Chuck Bartowski: No. No. I can handle Hannah. Besides she can cover for my in my Nerd Herd duties in case you guys need to call in the big guns... That would be me... When I say big guns, I'm referring to the Intersect. To myself. Do I need a flash? Glad we had this conversation.

Hannah: [Noticing Sarah on the monitor] What's she doing here? Other than making you jealous with that *ridiculously* good looking date of hers.
Chuck Bartowski: R-ridiculously good - him? Him. Nah... Yeah, if you're into the strong kind of Superman-y type of guy.

Vasillis: You've killed us all, you idiot!
Chuck Bartowski: Well, there's a counteragent, right? Where is it?
Vasillis: In a vase!
Chuck Bartowski: There's hundred of them. Which one?
Vasillis: How am I supposed to know? I wasn't going to steal it personally?
Chuck Bartowski: Oh, I see. And I'm the idiot.

John Casey: Time's up, Chuck.
Chuck Bartowski: No, Casey. Wait! I've found the counteragent. Meet me in the Control Room.
John Casey: When do I get to blow something up?

Chuck Bartowski: Guys, look I appreciat a ticker tape parade just like the next guy. But come on, I got a great team.
Daniel Shaw: And that brings us to our next point of business.
Sarah Walker: Well, uh Chuck, you're not going to have us forever. The Intersect was originally designed so that agents could work autonomously.
Daniel Shaw: We're your training wheels. And your performance tells me it's about time for us to come off.

Chuck Bartowski: Are you sure you're okay with the whole Hannah thing?
Sarah Walker: Oh, I shouldn't have given you a hard time. She's great and...
Chuck Bartowski: How do you think I feel about you and Shaw? I mean you two are perfect together. It's disgusting.
Sarah Walker: Oh.
Chuck Bartowski: In-in-in a heartwarming kind of way. Look, all I know is the guy carried you of Castle on his back while you were both dying. So if I have to see you with someone else, it might as well be a hero. Right?
Sarah Walker: What can I say? I have a type.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Santa Suit (#5.7)" (2011)
John Casey: [about his gift to Alex] I thought it was a good idea. Dumb, huh?
Chuck Bartowski: No, it's actually quite touching.
Morgan Grimes: Like you're feeling real human emotion.
John Casey: Don't ever say that again! Don't you breathe a word of this to Alex!

Chuck Bartowski: [Calling Sarah on her cell] Sarah. Thank God! Shaw broke out of prison. Where are you?... Sarah?
Daniel Shaw: Hello, nerd. Do me a favor - turn on the monitor.

Morgan Grimes: What now, Chuck? Chuck?
[Chuck sits motionless]
Morgan Grimes: This is bad. Tjis is very bad. He's shutting down.
John Casey: Then we take care of Shaw ourselves.
Morgan Grimes: Yeah, but he has the Intersect. I mean, we're going to need a plan - a *really* good plan.
Chuck Bartowski: I've got the plan. Daniel Shaw murdered my father, and now he has my wife. He's going to wish he never left that prison cell.

Chuck Bartowski: What's the best way for me to get into the CIA?
General Diane Beckman: There's only one way in - with me.
Chuck Bartowski: General, I can't tell you how happy I am to hear you say that. but you realize you're putting yourself on the line here.
General Diane Beckman: This is my team. And nobody, *especially* Daniel Shaw, is going to take us down.

General Diane Beckman: Oh Stan, not again.
Stan Lee: How about joining me at the punch bowl?
General Diane Beckman: Enough. You're embarrassing yourself, Stan.
Stan Lee: Well, if that's gonna be your attitude.
[Stan leaves]
Chuck Bartowski: Stan Lee is a spy? That is so weird.
General Diane Beckman: LA spies.

General Diane Beckman: Pucker up, Bartowski. You're about to become a man!
Chuck Bartowski: What? Like a Bar Mitzvah? Something that's a little... what exactly do you have in mind?
[Beckman kisses Chuck]

Chuck Bartowski: However, if I remember correctly, last time we met face-to-face, I kicked your ass.
Daniel Shaw: Heh. I made sure that would never happen again. No Intersect to help you this time, Chuck.
Chuck Bartowski: I wouldn't be too sure about that. I've been training for a while now.
Daniel Shaw: Oh really? Can you compete with the Intersect 3.0? I can practically catch a bullet with my teeth. But you did some push ups, hit the heavy bag. Oh, just so you know, as you're begging for mercy, your wife is watching.

Chuck Bartowski: Nice shot, sis. But I told you to stay at home.
Ellie Bartowski: I am Eleanor Woodcomb. Since when do I do what I'm told? ,, That man took our father away from us. I wasn't going to let him take anybody else.
Chuck Bartowski: Merry Christmas, Ellie.
Ellie Bartowski: Merry Chirstmas, Chuck

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Angel de la Muerte (#3.3)" (2010)
Chuck Bartowski: U had a, uh, CIA mission.
Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: What exactly does that mean?
Chuck Bartowski: Well you know, same old same old. Bad guy throws a fancy cocktail party. Another bad guy is trying to sell him a weapon. Bust both bad guys. Diffuse a bomb. Blah blah blah.

Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: What do you got under there?
Chuck Bartowski: Body armor.
Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: Might want to leave that on when you come over. Like I said. your sister's about to blow.

Chuck Bartowski: I gotta run.
Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: What is it? Another mission. Something to do with the Premiere?
Chuck Bartowski: You know, I'm sorry, buddy. It's spy stuff. Confidential.
[Devon gets a call, then Devon starts to leave]
Chuck Bartowski: Where are you going?
Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: Sorry, buddy. Doctor stuff, confidential.

John Casey: But haven't you *personally* given me the order to kill that commie crackpot on three separate occasions?
General Diane Beckman: And three times, you have failed to complete your orders.
Sarah Walker: Thought you said you had a perfect record.
Chuck Bartowski: Wow. This is getting entertainingly uncomfortable.

Chuck Bartowski: Uh, just spitballing here, General. Why don't we just tell the Premiere that his life is in danger?
General Diane Beckman: Would you trust a country that spent the beter part of three decades trying to kill you?

Chuck Bartowski: Yeah. It's our job to fool people... like you.
Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: Wow. That must be hard. Not just the not having sex part. That must be excruciating. But having to fake like you're in love with someone for almost three years, especially somone like her. How do you do it, Chuck? How do you not fall for her?

Chuck Bartowski: Devon, if you think this is your chance to be a big spy.
Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: It's my chance to set things right. I'll get you inside, then I promise. I'll leave the spy stuff to the pros.

Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: So you come up with a plan yet?
Chuck Bartowski: Oh yeah. Yeah, the plan is: Sarah and I are going to sneak out of here, and save Casey. While you stay here and save the Premiere. We just gotta take care of those two guards there.
Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: Those two soldiers with machine guns. You and what army?
Chuck Bartowski: Uh that would be Sarah, and uh, her fists.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Sizzling Shrimp (#1.5)" (2007)
Chuck Bartowski: Stakeouts are kinda fun!

John Casey: The idea behind a stakeout is to remain inconspicuous, you moron.
Chuck Bartowski: Uh, hello? That's why I used an alias.

Chuck Bartowski: All right, kicking butt.
John Casey: What happened to "don't get cocky"?
Chuck Bartowski: My bad. Professional faux pas.

John Casey: Stay in the car.
Chuck Bartowski: That's my four favorite words.

Mei-Ling Cho: [preparing to rescue Mei-Ling's brother] Good everyone one body helps.
Chuck Bartowski: Oh, no I have plans with my sister. They are none negotiable.
[everyone looks at him]
Chuck Bartowski: Though I guess it is kinda my fault. You would be in this mess if it wasn't for me. You obviously want to be with your brother, just like I want to be with my sister. We're like one big wacky transatlantic family.
Chuck Bartowski: I'm in, but I have to be back by eight.

Chuck Bartowski: [lighting fireworks] Please, God, let me keep my fingers.

Chuck Bartowski: [walking toward Mei-Ling with the clipboard] I believe you have something for me?
[she points a gun at him]
Chuck Bartowski: Please, tell me that's not real, the gun, not the clipboard.
Mei-Ling Cho: Real enough?

Chuck Bartowski: So listen, I've been thinking a lot about last night. And you know, you guys was talking about how this spy could be, you know, valuable, to us. So I was thinking what if we could convince her to, I dont know, like give up... some secret stuff...
Sarah Walker: You mean defect?
Chuck Bartowski: Defect, yes! People do that kind of thing all the time, right? The Hunt for Red October... uh... White Nights.
Chuck Bartowski: [after Casey stares blankly at him] White Nights? Gregory Hines, Baryshnikov, dancing their way to freedom?
John Casey: [sarcastically] Well, as long as you've done serious research on the subject. You get her to defect, I'll help rescuing her brother personally.
Sarah Walker: Why are you bringing this up?
Chuck Bartowski: Well, she sort of, uh, just... called me.
John Casey: She called you? Where?
Chuck Bartowski: At the Buy More. And I think she might been in the store too, because she knew my every move. She even knew I had mustard on my tie.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Tango (#1.3)" (2007)
John Casey: [about Chuck's first mission] You'll be fine, assuming you know how to tango.
Chuck Bartowski: Are you serious?
John Casey: Oh, I wouldn't joke about your life.

Malena: [interrogating Chuck] Now, I want you to think very carefully about my options. There's the old favorite, yank out a tooth... No, too noisy.
[Chuck nods a lot]
Malena: I could cut off a toe... No, too messy.
Chuck Bartowski: Far too messy.
Malena: Or I could chuck you off the balcony, Chuck.

Alan Waterman: [giving Chuck his card] Well, if you need any help with the job thing, gimme a call. I know people.
Chuck Bartowski: [Chuck has a flash] Insider trading and off shore accounts in the Caymans.
Alan Waterman: [shocked] What did you just say? Do you work for the SCC?
[taking the card]
Alan Waterman: I gotta go.

Chuck Bartowski: [regarding the pictures of dead people] Why are they sleeping?
John Casey: They're not sleeping. They're dead.
Sarah Walker: We need you to tell us who killed them, and why.
Chuck Bartowski: [putting the pictures down] How should I know?
John Casey: Look at them again.
Chuck Bartowski: I would really rather not. It's kind of creepy.

Chuck Bartowski: That sounds great, but my wetsuit's at the dry cleaners.

Chuck Bartowski: You know, if we were really dating, this would be the part where I'd be forced to kiss you.

Chuck Bartowski: I've been a spy all of five seconds, and I already have soy sauce on my shirt.
Sarah Walker: Well, go wash it off. And, Chuck?
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah?
Sarah Walker: Stop saying you're a spy.
Chuck Bartowski: Oh, right...

Chuck Bartowski: Okay, this is my first foray into major undercover spy work so if you could ease up ease on the sarcasm - that would be great. And how am I supposed to recognize La Ciudad? Is there a picture or something?
John Casey: If there's a photograph, why would we need you?
Chuck Bartowski: What did we just talk about?

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Best Friend (#2.14)" (2009)
Jeff: Does it shock you that 80% of my encounters with women have been without their knowledge.
Chuck Bartowski: Honestly, I'm more surprised by the other 20%

Chuck Bartowski: I can't betray my best friend. How come nobody gets that?
John Casey: Hmm. Semper Fidelis. Means always faithful in the Marines. In civilian life, means putting your friend's well being above your own. I salute you for that Bartowski. Well done.
[Casey gives Chuck a small salute]
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah, that's - Thanks, Casey. Yeah. Semper Fi. You know it's a pretty upside down world when this guy's the one picking up the emotional nuances around here.
[Casey winks at Sarah]

John Casey: There's only one mission here moron.
Chuck Bartowski: Oh "moron" that's- You know, sticks and stones may break my bones...
John Casey: Care to test that theory, Bartowski?
Chuck Bartowski: No particularly.
John Casey: No.

Chuck Bartowski: I see why Anna dumped you. This guy is - is a profoundly disturbed individual. Okay? He can't -he can't let go of her. He's an obsessed but totally unthreatening sicko. Grow up Morgan Grimes.

Sarah Walker: Well you just saved your best friend's life.
Chuck Bartowski: At the expense of his dignity.
Sarah Walker: Well at least he's still breathing. Come on.

Sarah Walker: No, I get it he's your best friend.
Chuck Bartowski: You know you say that, but I don't think you have a clue what it means. Sarah, I don't have parents. I don't really talk about it because that's the way things are now. But it wasn't always this way. Morgan was there the first day my mom took off. He didn't say much. Because honestly what's a fifth grader supposed to say? But we sat there and split a cherry cheesecake and played Legend of Zelda all night long. And my dad, well that's - that's a whole other story. But Morgan was there for that too. Morgan is more than just my best friend. He's my family! Before you got here, and long after you've gone, Morgan is my family!
Sarah Walker: ...Last night we failed to learn the contents of the Triad's container. And now we don't know what kind of drugs or weapons are floating around the city. And while I appreciate your friendship with Morgan. Losing sight of that container endangers many people's best friends, not just yours Chuck.

John Casey: [Chuck's got the bomb] You're risking your life!
Chuck Bartowski: No! I'm saving Morgan's!
John Casey: Don't be an idiot!

Sarah Walker: I wanted to apologize. I could have been more sensitive before about your friendship with Morgan. It's just - it's difficult. I don't really have anyone in my life who cares about me.
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah, you do.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus First Class (#3.5)" (2010)
Chuck Bartowski: Wait. The review's about me? Shouldn't Shaw be asking me about me?
John Casey: Where's the fun in that?

John Casey: [Finding nunchakus in Chuck's luggage] What are these?
Chuck Bartowski: Nunchakus. You know very well that I don't like carrying guns. But I thought it wouldn't be such a bad idea to have *some* kind of offensive weapon, you know. Just to have with me. Just in case. And they're supposed to be in the Intersect.

Chuck Bartowski: Hey guys, you there?
CIA Special Agent Daniel Shaw: Chuck, you flashed yet?
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah. How'd you know I'd flash?
CIA Special Agent Daniel Shaw: Because your mission's not in Paris. Your mission is on the plane.

John Casey: When he does, you act like your girlish self, scream like a banshee so he doesn't think you're a threat. When he pulls you out, find a weapon then flash.
Chuck Bartowski: What if I don't flash?
John Casey: Then you're dead - so flash!

Hannah: Wait. This Morgan person is real? This store you work in, it actually exists.
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah. Oh yeah. Yes to both of those things. Although, even personally, I have quite often wondered if the Buy More was an insane asylum.

Chuck Bartowski: [the flight attendant pulls a weapon on Chuck] I am *so* writing a letter to the airline about this.

Chuck Bartowski: Hey, I'm alive, and I have the key. Unfortunately, I didn't get to use my nunchunks .

Hannah: What do we think of mister muscles over there?
Chuck Bartowski: Mister muscles? Let me take a gander.
Hannah: I'm thinking professional wrestler maybe.
[He is played by Steve Austin, a former WWE wrestler]

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Couch Lock (#4.5)" (2010)
Sarah Walker: Is this the part where I'm supposed to ask you what you're thinking about?
Chuck Bartowski: My mom. I thought she was a prisoner that needed to be saved, and... then I come to find out she's just one of the bad guys.
Sarah Walker: Chuck, we don't know what side your mom is on.
Chuck Bartowski: Maybe not. But there's one thing I do know. In order to find the one person who... left me, I've endangered the lives of everyone who would never leave me. Morgan, Casey, you. I'm gonna stop looking for my mom.
Sarah Walker: No. Chuck...
Chuck Bartowski: No, it's okay. I thought I had to bring my family back together, but I don't. You guys, Awesome, Ellie, you're my family. I love you.
Sarah Walker: I love you. I'll see you inside.
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah.
[Sarah goes inside; Chuck's phone rings and he answers it]
Chuck Bartowski: Hello.
Mary Bartowski: Hello, Chuck. It's your mother.

John Casey: Only place I can think of to get these three sons of bitches back together, would be my funeral.
Chuck Bartowski: That's it! Casey, I know how to find your old team. We have to kill you.

Chuck Bartowski: [Receving a call] They put his tracker on a what?... No. God, no! Don't shoot it!
[Ends the call. To Sarah]
Chuck Bartowski: They took off his tracker and put it on a cat.

Sarah Walker: Uh oh.
Chuck Bartowski: "Uh oh?" You don't say "Uh oh?"
Sarah Walker: You step out of that laser beam, this goes off.

Mackintosh: She's Volkoff's right hand. When he has a problem, he sends in Frost. And that problem disappears.
Chuck Bartowski: [Quietly] Sarah, I'm kind of starting to think that my mom might be one of the bad guys.

Morgan Grimes: Casey. Couch lock... Cable.
John Casey: [Casey realizes what Morgan's planning] Oh,good Lord.
[to Chuck and Sarah]
John Casey: Lift your feet up. Do it. Do it now!
Sarah Walker: He's going to try and shock them.
Chuck Bartowski: Morgan! Morgan, NO!

Chuck Bartowski: In order to find the one person who
[Chuck scoffs]
Chuck Bartowski: left me, I've endangered the lives of everyone who would never leave me: Morgan, Casey, you. I'm going to stop looking for my mom.
Sarah Walker: Oh Chuck...
Chuck Bartowski: No. It's okay. I thought I'd have to bring my family back together. But I don't. You guys: Awesome, Ellie, you're my family. I love you.

Chuck Bartowski: [Answerin his cellphone] Hello?
Mary Bartowski: Hello Chuck. It's your mother.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Fear of Death (#4.8)" (2010)
Lester Patel: Is it strange that all the new employees have been named Greta?
Chuck Bartowski: Strange? What's strange about it? Doesn't seem strange to me at all.
Jeff Barnes: Who cares as long as they're spicy.
Lester Patel: That's strange that you don't find that strange. But speaking of strange, you've been giving off some real sad sack vibes, Charles. Bit of a whiny wuss if you ask me.

Jim Rye: Well, I don't believe that the psychological rock can be hoisted off by watching kittens play with yarn. My method is - physical, psychological, painful, brutal.
Chuck Bartowski: Brutal? Can't wait to get started.
Jim Rye: Chuck, if you're serious about restoring the Intersect, then I promise you, at the end of this process, you will be a spy again. What do you say? You with me?
Chuck Bartowski: Let's get physical.

Jim Rye: I thought that Russian would get your blood pumping.
Chuck Bartowski: I honestly thought it was you. The Russian? It was such a horrible accent. It sounded so phony. What kind of a spy am I? I can even be scared properly?

Jim Rye: Ask yourself a question. Are you a spy or are you a guy with a spy girlfriend?
Chuck Bartowski: I'm a spy.

Sarah Walker: [to Chuck] You'll get it back soon enough.
John Casey: [Entering] When? What's the timeline?
Chuck Bartowski: I'm - hoping very soon.
John Casey: 'Cause I haven't been on a mission in a month. I wake up with my trigger finger twitching. It itches. Literally, it itches.

Jim Rye: [after Rye attacks Chuck in his bed room] Castle's a safety zone. Apparently, this place is too.
[to Sarah]
Jim Rye: Chuck feels protected by you. We need to up the ante - again. P.F.O.D.
Chuck Bartowski: Pfod?
Jim Rye: Pure fear of death. We need uncut pure adrenalinalized fear *rocking* through your plasma right now. This was close, but hey, this could be the cure.

General Diane Beckman: We're in a real mess, Agent Bartowski. Your trust in Agent Frost proved a *colossal* error.
Chuck Bartowski: I know. I screwed up, General. And if she weren't my mom, I would have shown much better judgement.
General Diane Beckman: Which is why you haven't been ejected from the Agency. But Agent Frost is extremly dangerous. She and Alexi Volkoff are now top priorities for capture.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Lethal Weapon (#2.16)" (2009)
Chuck Bartowski: Sarah, I'm not going to move in with you... Because I can't... And you know why I can't... I'm crazy about you. And I always have been. Having a fake relationship, that's one thing. But living together is... I mean everyday and being around each other and -and that's why i can't do it. I hope you understand.
Sarah Walker: I do.
Chuck Bartowski: Thank you.
[Starts to leave then stops]
Chuck Bartowski: Oh and uh just so you know, I am going to get this thing out of my head, one day. I will! And when I do, I'm going to live the life I want with the girl I love. Because I'm not going to let this thing rob me of that. I won't!

Sarah Walker: You know, I know this whole 24 hour supervision thing isn't exactly great, but when the CIA finds us a new apartment, at least we'll have separate rooms.
Chuck Bartowski: Great.
Sarah Walker: Consider yourself lucky. At least, you didn't have to move in with Casey, right?
Chuck Bartowski: [Fake laugh] Lucky me.

Chuck Bartowski: Making, uh, making a list, are you? And of what may I ask?
Ellie Bartowski: Ah, where should we begin? Maybe that tron poster that you've had since you were 12.
[Devon laughs]
Chuck Bartowski: Dad gave me that poster.
Ellie Bartowski: ...I know. He loved that movie.

Chuck Bartowski: Wow. At least no one's telling us to...
John Casey: You heard the General, stay in the bunker!
Chuck Bartowski: And there it is.

Cole Barker: Yeah, well, sometimes things don't always go as planned, Chuck. You have to improvise.
Chuck Bartowski: Look, you can't run off an be the hero all the time.
Cole Barker: It's not about wanting to be a hero, Chuck. It's about *needing* to be.
Chuck Bartowski: Two guns, huh? Wow. You really are a bad ass.
Cole Barker: No Chuck, one gun. The other gun
[Cole offers a gun to Chuck]
Cole Barker: is for you.

John Casey: Don't follow him, Chuck. It's may be too dangerous.
Chuck Bartowski: He might know how to get the Intersect out of my head. I can't let him go.
John Casey: Listen to me. You do not go after him alone. Do not be a hero here, Chuck.
Chuck Bartowski: I don't want to be a hero, but sometimes you *need* to be. Besides this is doable.

Perseus: You're the one they've been talking about, aren't you? I didn't believe it could be true... A human Intersect.
Perseus: Extraordinary.
Chuck Bartowski: Maybe for you. But you have to understand for me - for me it's a nightmare. Living with this thing in my head is ruining my life. Is there anyway that - that the Intersect images can be taken out? You know, can a person be de-Intersected?
Perseus: Can it be removed? Possibly... I don't know. Only Orion would know.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Suitcase (#4.2)" (2010)
Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: [to Chuck and Sarah] Hey, you guys should be taking some notes here. You could be next.
Chuck Bartowski: [laughs] I don't know...
Morgan Grimes: I don't know. Sarah would have to unpack first for them to even *think* about starting a family.

John Casey: Spies don't put down roots. That's the rule.
Chuck Bartowski: [Chuck scoffs] Rule? It's not a rule. It's a - it's a notion, or suggestion, or guideline.

Chuck Bartowski: [as Sarah's difusing a bomb] Sarah, listen, I cannot die without you knowing that I accept you for you are. Your weird unpacking habits, it doesn't matter to me. Nothing matters. I still love you.
Sarah Walker: [after Sarah difuses the bomb] You "still" love me?
Chuck Bartowski: Sorry, what? Did I -? Those were the best last words, were they?

Chuck Bartowski: It feels good to be back at work.
Sarah Walker: It feels good to be home.

Chuck Bartowski: Welcome to the new Buy More.
Ellie Bartowski: Yeah. Wha - What's going on? This place seems so strange.
Chuck Bartowski: You know - you know what it could be. The uh, the new corporate restructurtion that's going on right now.
Morgan Grimes: [Entering] Yeah. Well, the - excuse me, sorry. The restruction has been restructured. So although it may appear a bit... off. I can assure the Buy More is still the Buy More.
[the old Buy More crew enters]

[Chuck reaches for a weapon in Sofia's purse and accidentally touches her butt]
Sophia Stephenova: Excuse me! Who do you think you are?
Chuck Bartowski: [highly nervous] Nobody! I'm nobody! This is nothing! No, I wasn't trying to do that, put my hand on your bottom.
Sophia Stephenova: Your hand is still touching my perfection!
Chuck Bartowski: [pulling his hand away] So it is.

[Sofia, wet and naked, confronts Chuck at gunpoint]
Sophia Stephenova: Who do you work for, and how did you find me?
Chuck Bartowski: [extremely nervous] I would love to get into this. Is it... is it at all possible for you to cover yourself with maybe a towel?
[Sofia "covers herself" with Chuck as Sarah enters]
Sarah Walker: [about Sofia] Is she naked?
Chuck Bartowski: Who?
Chuck Bartowski: Yes, yes she is.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Cougars (#2.4)" (2008)
Chuck Bartowski: Hate to be the one to tell him about his wife.
John Casey: That's why love is for suckers.
Chuck Bartowski: Seen Sarah?
John Casey: No.
[turns around. Quietly to himself]
John Casey: Sucker.

Chuck Bartowski: Of all the semi-tart Asian influenced frozen yogurt shops in all the towns of the world, you walked into hers?

Chuck Bartowski: Hey, what are you doing for dinner tonight? You got any plans? Maybe we could get together and reminisce over old times.
Mark Ratner: Sounds great.
Chuck Bartowski: I mean any friends of Jenny are friends of mine.
Sarah Walker: I don't know Chuck, it might be boring for you to take trip down memory lane with us.
Chuck Bartowski: Good God no! Not at all. I - I can't think of anything I'd rather do than spend an evening... learning all about... my Jenny.

Chuck Bartowski: [watching Les' sales policy in action] This is going to end badly.
Morgan Grimes: I know. I know, Chuck. That's part of the fun.

Sarah Walker: Back off, Chuck! You have as much information as is pertinent for the assignment!
Chuck Bartowski: So "Jenni" with an "I' or would that be -
[Sarah takes the table knife Chuck's holding]
Sarah Walker: All Jenny's boyfriend needs to know is that Jenny hates questions about her past!
[Throws the knife at a picture of Chuck and Sarah]
Sarah Walker: You got that?
Chuck Bartowski: I'm good. Yeah, I'm good.

Chuck Bartowski: [to Sarah] No one's gonna mess with us here. I got your back.
[Notices Sarah's High School photo]
Chuck Bartowski: Wow! it's not that bad.

Sarah Walker: Okay, fine, I'll answer one question about my past. You've earned that much.
Chuck Bartowski: ...No thanks... I don't need to know more about who you were. 'Cause as much as you don't think so, I know who you are: a girl I'd like to share a cheeseburger with... Should I get a knife. I'll get a knife.
Sarah Walker: That won't be necessary.
[Sarah rolls up one of pants legs, pulls out a knife and gives it to Chuck]
Chuck Bartowski: That's awesome! And a little disturbing.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Role Models (#3.15)" (2010)
Laura Turner: What my husband means to say is: we're retiring.
General Beckman: But you just can't walk away. You are the best of the best! Who will possibly take your place?
Chuck Bartowski: [Craig and Laura look at Chuck and Sarah] You... are sure? Really? I mean, thank you.

Sarah Walker: I'm sorry that I freaked out when you asked me to move in with you. It's just, you know how I grew up. I spent my life living in hotel rooms under fake names. I've been trained to survive a thousand different situations in the field. But nobody ever taught me how to live a normal life.
Chuck Bartowski: Well, I hate to break it to you, but I don't think we're ever going to live a normal life.
Sarah Walker: Well, I'd like to have something to fall back on when my spy life is over.

Chuck Bartowski: Good morning buddy.
Morgan Grimes: Okay, I get it. You're having tons and tons of sex. Congratulations Warren Beatty.
Chuck Bartowski: Who said anything about -?
Morgan Grimes: Big goofy grin said it. Okay? And you know, it's kind of an insult for those of us living in the apartment who *aren't* having sex - which is me.

Sarah Walker: A good agent should never be without a back up weapon.
Chuck Bartowski: Well have you heard of the Bartowski rule? No firearms in my apartment.
Sarah Walker: Not if you want to live with a spy.

Chuck Bartowski: Ok, ok, the Turers aren't perfect, I'm willing to modify my opinion.
Sarah Walker: She's a drunk. He's a philanderer. As a team, they're a total mess.
Chuck Bartowski: Well come on, they're not completly without their charms. I mean, there could be worse people we could turn into.
Sarah Walker: I would rather be eaten alive by a tiger. Speaking of, I'm done waiting for Otto to find us. Let's get the software and get out of here.

Chuck Bartowski: Oh, yeah. How is that field training with Morgan going?
John Casey: Put it this way, he makes you look like a natural born operative.
Chuck Bartowski: If you can't make Morgan Grimes field ready, I'm sending you *both* to boot camp at Camp Pendleton! That is all!

Craig Turner: You really - we're... that bad?
Chuck Bartowski: Only because you were once great, yeah.
Laura Turner: We were great. Remember?
Craig Turner: Check back with me in 30 years, Charles. The CIA has a way of breaking young idealists, especially if they're in love.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Bearded Bandit (#5.2)" (2011)
Chuck Bartowski: It - it was great. All of your advice was great.
Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: Of course it was. Same tactics I used to woo your hot sister.
Chuck Bartowski: Okay.

Chuck Bartowski: Buddy, no one can know that we have a walking CIA database on our team, okay? The Intersect is a secret weapon for a reason
Morgan Grimes: That sucks man! I have all these powers and abilities. How am I supposed to help people if I can't *tell* anybody about it?
Chuck Bartowski: Because Morgan if you do, it could get you *killed*.

Sarah Walker: You know what Morgan did today in the Buy More could've really blown our cover.
Chuck Bartowski: Look the first few months with the Intersect are a big adjustment. It's scary. It's exciting. Your horomones are totally out of whack. You're really rediscovering your body... It's a lot to take in - that's all I'm saying.
Sarah Walker: That's exactly why he needs a handler.
Chuck Bartowski: What? Who? me?

Sarah Walker: Relax Wesley, your brother hired us.
Wesley Schenider: He did *what*?
[Wesley triggers an alarm]
Chuck Bartowski: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. I said we're here to protect you.
Wesley Schenider: From who? The only thing keeping my brother from killing me are the men I hired to guard this compound.
Sarah Walker: What?
Chuck Bartowski: But your finger.
Wesley Schenider: Yeah, who do you think cut it off? I'm making a deal with the Feds to testify against him.

Sarah Walker: [to Wesley] No. We came here to save you. And that's exactly what we're going to do.
Morgan Grimes: What? No! No! No! The Intersect runs from *no* man!
Chuck Bartowski: For now - he does. Let's go Morgan.

Morgan Grimes: Well, did it ever occur to you that she made you my little babysitter to distract you from the fact that you're being sidelined too. I don't know if you've noticed, chief, but you're on a food run with me... I'm not - look I love, Sarah. I do. But it's just - I wanna make sure that she's not the one handling you.
Chuck Bartowski: She's not.

Chuck Bartowski: Quick question since you're here. Did you ask me to be Morgan's handler because you're trying to handle me? Because if you think I-I shouldn't be in the field? I just need to know that, you know?
Sarah Walker: No. NO. I asked you to be Morgan's handler because the job entails bringing out the best in somebody. And what better example for Morgan that you? So no, I'm not handling you. "A" because you don't need one anymore. And "B" because handlers can't do this.
[Sarah kisses Chuck]

"Chuck: Chuck Versus Santa Claus (#2.11)" (2008)
Chuck Bartowski: But it's - it's Christmas. Look I'm not buying the whole Scrooge act. Underneath that spy cover is a regular person, just like the rest of us. I mean honestly, how weird could Christmas have been for you?
Sarah Walker: Christmas at the Burton household meant the annual Salvation Army con job.
Chuck Bartowski: Okay, you're a little different than the rest of us.

Nathan 'Ned' Rhyerson: Could someone please tell me who's in charge here?
Anna Wu, Lester Patel, Jeff Barnes: [pointing] Chuck!
Chuck Bartowski: Actually, I'm not technically in charge.

Chuck Bartowski: I understand there are rules, but when it comes to family and friends, there's a time to break them!
John Casey: Get in the hatch Bartowski!
Sarah Walker: Chuck, you're letting your emotions cloud your judgment. I *promise* nothing bad will happen to them, now please come on.
Chuck Bartowski: I can't take that chance!

Chuck Bartowski: Actually um... I have something for you. I was gonna give it to you tomorrow, but considering the circumstances I kind of want to give it to you today.
Sarah Walker: Chuck were gonna get out of here. We'll be fine, I...
[Chuck pulls out a bracelet]
Sarah Walker: promise. Wow. It's beautiful.
Chuck Bartowski: It's good luck. It was my mom's Charm Bracelet. My dad gave it to her when Ellie was born.
[Chuck puts it on Sarah's wrist]
Sarah Walker: Oh Chuck, I can't take this. This something *real*. Something you should give to a real girlfriend.
Chuck Bartowski: ...I know.

Nathan 'Ned' Rhyerson: Chuck, you've been such a good friend to me, so I'm going to return the favor. I'm going to let your girlfriend go.
Chuck Bartowski: No!
Ellie Bartowski: Chuck?
Jeff Barnes: Ouch!
Lester Patel: Yikes! It'll be a cold Christmas a the Bartowskis.
Buy More employee: Oh no he didn't!

Chuck Bartowski: What do you want?
Mauser: I want to know where Bryce Larkin and the Intersect are. And if I think you're lying even a little bit, your sister dies... Where is Bryce Larkin?
Chuck Bartowski: ...I don't know.
Mauser: Then I'm really sorry.
Chuck Bartowski: But I know where the Intersect is.
Mauser: Where?
Chuck Bartowski: [long pause. Points to his own head] It's right here.

Chuck Bartowski: They're letting me go.
Ellie Bartowski: Oh, thank God!
[Hugs Chuck]
Chuck Bartowski: Good-bye Ellie, You know how much I love you, right?
Ellie Bartowski: hey! Cheer up. It'll be okay. You're acting like you're never gonna see me again.
Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: See ya in a bit Chuck.
[Hugs Chuck]
Chuck Bartowski: [Quietly in Devon's ear] Listen there's a time to be brave and a time to be timid. This is a time to be brave, do it!

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Honeymooners (#3.14)" (2010)
Chuck Bartowski: Casey's been reinstated. Ellie and Awesome are going to Africa. Everyone else is moving forward with their life. Sarah, for the first time since I've know you, nothing this holding us back. And if Beckman finds out, she could stop all of this, us. I can't risk that. I won't!
Sarah Walker: You're right. I can't go back to how it was before. Before this, before you.

Chuck Bartowski: Sarah Walker, do you agree to quit the spy life with me?
Sarah Walker: I do... Chuck Bartowski, do you agree to quit the spy life with me?
Chuck Bartowski: I do.

Sarah Walker: You know, Chuck, I can't fake this. Not with you.
Chuck Bartowski: What? You've been faking it the whole time?
Sarah Walker: No, no, no. Not that. I spotted a Basque terroist on board.

Chuck Bartowski: You know, uh, this is our last mission, but we make a great team.
Sarah Walker: I'm thinking the same thing, Mr. Charles.
[Chuck and Sarah kiss. Casey enters]
John Casey: Oh God!
Chuck Bartowski: Casey?
Sarah Walker: What are you doing here?
John Casey: Putting to rest any stupid ideas you two might have of turning this into a permanent vacation.

General Beckman: I'll arrange for Arnauldo to be picked up by a different INTERPOL team. Try not to physically assault them.
Chuck Bartowski: General, just so you know, we didn't hit them, or - or assault them in anyway. There no physical altercation. We just dosed them with pharmeauctical-grade narcotics.
General Beckman: Agent Bartowski.
Chuck Bartowski: You're right, that's not making it any better.

Morgan Grimes: I thought this was everything you ever wanted.
Chuck Bartowski: It is. Okay. It is, but I want Sarah more.

Ellie Bartowski: Truth is, I think I got so drunk, I guess I was upset with myself. I'm leaving my little brother.
Chuck Bartowski: I'm not so little anymore.
[Ellie and Chuck hug]
Chuck Bartowski: And uh, just so you know, you're not leaving me alone.
[Ellie notices Sarah]
Ellie Bartowski: You guys are back together?
Chuck Bartowski: We're together. I think I found the one.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Broken Heart (#2.18)" (2009)
General Diane Beckman: I wanted a private word with you. Pardon the intrusion.
Chuck Bartowski: On this moment or my life in general?

Chuck Bartowski: [to Forrest and Casey] Wow. You two are a match made in a very frightening part of heaven.

John Casey: Hey. Chuck, turn off the gas you idiot. You inhale too much of that stuff it'll kill you.
Chuck Bartowski: We're gonna die.
[Chuck and Zamir laugh]
Chuck Bartowski: We're gonna die.
Agent Alex Forrest: [Grabbing the walkie talkie] Open this door right now!
Chuck Bartowski: No. Look, I'm not listening to you. Okay?
Agent Alex Forrest: This isn't working. I can't risk this going any further. I'm getting the nitro.
[Starts to leave]
Sarah Walker: Forest! We can do this your way or we can actually *save* the assett!

Chuck Bartowski: [Chuck's inhaled a lot of laughing gas] Is that really you or am I super stoned?
Sarah Walker: Uh, both.

General Diane Beckman: Agent Walker, despite your heroism, you have directly disobeyed several orders...
Chuck Bartowski: Wait General, um, I'm sorry but-but isn't the most important part of being my handler making sure I stay alive?
Sarah Walker: It's okay Chuck.
John Casey: No, it's not.
[Everyone looks at Casey]
John Casey: Let him finish.
Chuck Bartowski: Thanks... Um, General. What I'm trying to say is that because my relationship with Sarah is so... you know, we're - we're close. We care about each other. That's- that's what I'm trying to say. And - and I know it's not protocol or whatever but it's those feelings that wound up saving my life.

Chuck Bartowski: Nothing happened at the bachelor party. He didn't do anything. I swear!
Ellie Bartowski: Chuck, I saw the photos. Okay?... I'm sorry I know you're just trying to protect him. Bro code or whatever. But Chuck, I'm your sister!... You're supposed to protect me.

Chuck Bartowski: [Standing outside a trailer] I couldn't find him. The man didn't want to be found. I mean if you hadn't illegally accessed the government's master database...
Sarah Walker: Chuck, it'll be good to see him.
[Chuck knocks on the door. long pause with no response]
Sarah Walker: I'm sorry.
[pause. the door opens]
Chuck Bartowski: Dad?

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Zoom (#5.1)" (2011)
Chuck Bartowski: Hi. How you doing today?
Jean-Claude: No shooting. I don't want their blood and the mess on the pool deck. Make them jump.

Sarah Walker: And if we're going to stay solvent, then we need to collect soon.
John Casey: Or crawl back to Beckman. Get that Government contract. Never had a problem with Uncle Sam.
Chuck Bartowski: Casey, our problem is not with Uncle Sam. It's with Clyde Decker. and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

Chuck Bartowski: What about the mission?
John Casey: Don't worry. Morgan saved the day. He got an invite to the party.
Chuck Bartowski: Huh?
John Casey: Thank God for the Intersect, huh?

Chuck Bartowski: Listen, I know you lied to me. I know I'm not part of your bigger plan, whatever the Hell that is, okay? You've won. Now let us go.
Clyde Decker: Payback's a bitch, Charlie!

Chuck Bartowski: Sarah, you outside?
Sarah Walker: Yeah, they let us go. Are you still inside?
Chuck Bartowski: Don't worry about me. Just go.
Sarah Walker: No, I'm not going anywhere.
Chuck Bartowski: Sarah, you, Casey, and Morgan just get in the van. Get in the van and leave right now!

Chuck Bartowski: Sarah. Sarah, I'm sorry. I wanted to buy you the house. I wanted to give you the life you always dreamed of. But more importantly, I wanted you to live. Don't make me die in vain. Leave me behind. Get in the van. Leave! Leave me behind!
Sarah Walker: [Entering the van] Casey, we can't just leave him behind like that.
Chuck Bartowski: Please leave!
[Morgan notices a note on the monitor, and hits play. Chuck's message plays]
Chuck Bartowski: Guys, please don't leave me behind. I have a plan!

Chuck Bartowski: Morgan, disconnect us from the building's electrical line. Casey, get the van moving. Sarah, there's a rather large window on the east side of the building. It's the only way out - so I'm going to be jumping through it.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Nacho Sampler (#3.6)" (2010)
John Casey: Okay, credit card charges mostly video games comic books. Phone records indicate only one female call in the last call, sister.
Chuck Bartowski: I feel so sorry for this guy, he seems so lonely

John Casey: Okay, credit charges. Mostly video games, comic books. Phone records indicate only one female call in the last year - sister.
Chuck Bartowski: I feel so sorry for this guy. He seems so lonely.
John Casey: Oh, whoops. That's your old file Bartowski. Sorry about that.

Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: Bro, that was so cold blooded! How could you just lie to her like that?
Chuck Bartowski: Ellie and I aren't kids any more, all right? There's some things she's better off not knowing.

Chuck Bartowski: Why? What's in Dubai?
John Casey: Weap-Con. Greatest weapon's convention in the world. I go every year. I find it *incredibly* relaxing.
[Casey sighs]
John Casey: Looks like I get to write it off as a business trip.

Chuck Bartowski: What the? Cassey, what is the deal? I specifically asked for the same pen that you got. She gave me the wrong pen!
John Casey: Just like Bartowski. Bring a knife to a gun fight.

Sarah Walker: He has to go underground. If the Ring finds him, then he can build them another Intersect. Do you want me to handle it?
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah. Yeah, I would... But I have to do it.

Manoosh: Chuck. You have to help me. I thought you were my friend.
Chuck Bartowski: I'm not. I'm a spy.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Seduction (#2.2)" (2008)
Roan Montgomery: Because I'm not in love with one of the agents.
Chuck Bartowski: I'm not... I care about them. I care about *both* of them. Besides we both heard what she said, okay? To her, I'm just an asset.
Roan Montgomery: No. You're not... Trust me. The lady doth protest too much.

Rowan Montgomery: [preparing Chuck to seduce an enemy agent] We need to talk about protection.
Chuck Bartowski: I *really* don't think it's going to get that far.
Rowan Montgomery: I mean a gun. Do you know why she's called the "black widow?"
Chuck Bartowski: Because she's African-American, and her husband died?

Chuck Bartowski: [being asked to be on a new mission] Uh, you can count me out on this one. No more dangling me off of buildings. No more guns being pointed at my head. No more putting my life in danger. I'm going back to my peaceful, quiet, albeit degrading existence at the Buy More. So, have fun on the mission, and... really love what you've done with the place.
General Diane Beckman: Is there something wrong with the Intersect?

Chuck Bartowski: [Sarah kisses Chuck] Is that a - real kiss, or a cover kiss? Cause I'm confused right now.
Sarah Walker: It's a "we have a international security emergency. And I need to speak to you privately" kiss.
Chuck Bartowski: See? I knew I felt something.
[Sarah pulls him away by his tie]
Chuck Bartowski: Who's your momma?

Sarah Walker: Okay, look, the sooner we get the Cipher back and the sooner you can have the Intersect removed, and the sooner you can be free to live whatever life you choose *with* whomever you choose.
Chuck Bartowski: What are you saying?
Sarah Walker: I'm saying you can have everything that you've always wanted.
Chuck Bartowski: Let me see the file.

Chuck Bartowski: Well it may not be the steamiest, but we probably have the strangest relationship in Los Angeles.
Sarah Walker: Doubt that. Morgan's still dating, right?
Chuck Bartowski: Good point.

Chuck Bartowski: Sarah, please tell me you saw that. Leaped from the balcony, lands with a flourish and the Russian judge gives it a 9.4. Oh and by the way, I have this thing called the Cipher if anyone's interested.
Sasha Banacheck: Yes. Mr. Carmichael. I am *very* interested.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Crown Vic (#1.11)" (2007)
Chuck Bartowski: [seeing a knife in Sarah's alarm clock] Not a morning person I see.

John Casey: [about the missile] Where's it headed now?
Chuck Bartowski: I don't know. I reprogrammed it.
John Casey: You sure 'reprogram' doesn't mean 'return to sender'?

Chuck Bartowski: [before going after the bad guy] I know wait in the car.
[he turns to go]
Sarah Walker: Not this time, Chuck.

John Casey: [about the missile heading for them] Send it somewhere else!
Chuck Bartowski: I can't! I need something to target, something with GPS coordinates!
Chuck Bartowski: Casey, what about your car?
John Casey: NO!

Sarah Walker: [about the GPS coordinates to his car] Tell him, Casey!
Chuck Bartowski: [imitating Sarah] Tell me, Casey!

Chuck Bartowski: I said I was sorry, right?

John Casey: Bartowski! Walker!
Chuck Bartowski: [running to Casey] Casey, what're you doing here?
John Casey: Someone has to protect the Intersect.
Chuck Bartowski: Thanks, man.
John Casey: Besides, I didn't want to miss any gun play.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Fat Lady (#2.7)" (2008)
John Casey: You're a government asset, Chuck. Sometimes your personal life has to a back seat.
Chuck Bartowski: We tried the back seat, you have a camera in the car too! Come on, how many second chances do you get with the one that got away? Plus she already knows I'm a - you know.
John Casey: I'm not even interested in my *own* feelings, Bartowski. Keep your mind on the mission. We leave in 10.

Dr. Jill Roberts: You're going to a hotel tonight with your cover girlfriend.
Chuck Bartowski: Well, if its any comfort, overnight missions usually involve Casey and a whole lot of firearms.

Sarah Walker: [Chuck's stuck in the airvent] What are you doing up there?
Chuck Bartowski: Help!
[Falls to the floor]
John Casey: Shh. It's the F.B.I, they're dumb, not deaf.
Chuck Bartowski: Thanks.

Chuck Bartowski: The running, jumping, shooting people part of the job, that's all *you* guys. But the puzzles, that's all me.

Chuck Bartowski: Wait. So not only did we *not* get the FULCRUM list, but Jill's never going to speak to me again because she caught me naked rinsing off fruit punch on another woman.
John Casey: Common spy problem.
Chuck Bartowski: [sarcastically] Really?

Chuck Bartowski: Where's a pitch pipe when you need one.
[Casey sings the note]
Chuck Bartowski: Hey. What?
John Casey: Choir boy... What? I wasn't hatched.

Fulcrum agent: I still have the advantage. Somebody give me the list or I shoot Chuck.
[points his weapon at Chuck]
John Casey: Yeah, go ahead and shoot him.
[pulls out another weapon and points it at Chuck]
John Casey: You know, I was thinking about shooting him myself.
Chuck Bartowski: That's great- Why?- Why would- *What*? Are you *crazy*? How about - How about *nobody* shoots Chuck?
John Casey: I'm not Sarah, Chuck! Give him the list, I will end you miserable existence!

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Three Words (#3.2)" (2010)
Carina: And Casey will pose as my father.
John Casey: Check your math, sister. I'll play your brother.
Carina: That's a bit of a stretch, Colonel.
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah, Casey. Uh, I think you have dungarees that are older than Carina.

Carina: What the hell are you doing to my mission? You and Sarah are supposed to be a happy couple
Chuck Bartowski: Ever since I got back from Prague, Sarah's been so cold.
Carina: You idiot! The reason Sarah's cold is because she *loves* you. Now get your head out of your ass and go be a spy!

Chuck Bartowski: And the decision I made in Prague. I know what it looks like, I know that it looks like I chose being a spy over-over being with you. But that's not what happened. How I felt about you was real. Very, very real. And I know that you know how I felt about you for a long time, you know. But when Carina told me what you said, those three words that I waited to hear for so long. Look Sarah, I know. You were probably very hurt. Probably hurt that I didn't run away with you in Prague... Sarah, I love you.

Sarah Walker: [as Sarah's trying to train Chuck] You need to learn to ignore your emotions. Spies do not have feelings. Feelings get you killed. You need to learn to bury them in a place deep inside.
Chuck Bartowski: Sarah, stop.
Sarah Walker: Come on! Flash! Show me your attack skills.
[Sarah continues to trying to provoke Chuck]
Sarah Walker: Come on, Chuck. Show me!
Chuck Bartowski: No.
Sarah Walker: Why not?
Chuck Bartowski: Because I don't want to hurt you.
[Sarah floors him]
Sarah Walker: Don't worry Chuck. You can't.

Chuck Bartowski: There's gotta be something. There's gotta be a contingency plan in case enemy agents infiltrate my apartment, right? Like a button that calls the cavalrt so they can swoop in and clear everyone out. Where's the button?
John Casey: Me.
[Casey cocks his gun]
John Casey: I'm the button.

Chuck Bartowski: You took a chance. You-you loved someone, maybe for the first time in your life, all you've ever done before is-is shut off your feelings. You - you bury them deep down inside. Because in your profession, in your line of work, it's a liability, right? It's - it - it can certainly be a liability. And I know, I know that you think you messed up your life because you opened up your heart. But maybe you helped open up her heart in the process. Maybe because you loved her. She's learned how to love too.

Chuck Bartowski: You were hurt that I didn't run away with you in Prague. I did that and I'm sorry. You have to know that you were everything I ever wanted. But how could I do that? How could I run away with you? How could I be with you knowing what I turned my back on, you know? Knowing that what I had in my head could help a lot of people. And you're the one that taught me that - that being a spy is about choosing something bigger. It's about putting aside your own personal feelings for the greater good. And that's what I choose. I chose to be a spy for my friends, my family and you. I chose to be a spy because... Sarah, I love you.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the American Hero (#3.12)" (2010)
Chuck Bartowski: It just finally clicked for me. You know, Sarah is - is the most important thing. I mean what's the point of being a spy without her. I've got to win her back. And I've only got a small window to do it before I have to leave for Rome.

Devon Woodcomb: Then let's get you two kids back together. Shouldn't be too hard, huh?
John Casey: [Entering from the side] Have you seen the stallion she's dating?
Chuck Bartowski: Casey? Do you - do you ever knock or use the door?
John Casey: Shaw's not some geek who likes to talk about his feelings all day long. He's a *real* spy.

Chuck Bartowski: Wasn't this the plan? There's nothing stopping us from being together now. I've passed my spy test.
Sarah Walker: That's why I can't be with you, okay? You're not - you're not the same guy I fell for.
Chuck Bartowski: How? Why? Because I'm a spy? How am I different?
Sarah Walker: You killed somebody, Chuck! I saw you kill the mole.

Sarah Walker: [after Chuck locks Sarah inside a chamber] Chuck, what are you doing? Shaw needs help.
Chuck Bartowski: I know he does. That's why I'm going in to bring him back.
Sarah Walker: But the air strike's on its way. You're both gonna get killed. Why are you helping him?
Chuck Bartowski: ...'Cause I know how much you care about him.

Chuck Bartowski: Look, I don't want to pester you Sarah. Or become some - some nuisance you can't avoid. I've seen Morgan go that route far too many times to count. And since I've already given the fancy eloquent version of this speech before, I'm going to be blunt and honest: I love you... One more time because it feels really nice to say, I love you. I feel like I've been bottling this up forever. I love you.

Chuck Bartowski: Stupid? Maybe stupid's the word you're looking for. I get it, I went too far.
Ellie Bartowski: You didn't go far enough, Chuck! Sarah is special. I know it. You know it. If you love her, if she's the one, then you don't stop. You don't quit. You never go too far... You are a Bartowski, Chuck. Start acting like one!

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Coup d'Etat (#4.4)" (2010)
Sarah Walker: [as Sarah is deciding on various bikinis] So you, uh, you just wanted to go on vacation?
Chuck Bartowski: Exactly, yeah. You know because Turrini's not a threat, and Beckman cleared us for a couple days. We've been so focused on my mom hunt, I thought it'd be nice if we could just be a couple of regular people relaxing on a tropical island - working on our communication exercisizes.
Sarah Walker: That's what you're excited about? Our "communication excersizes?"
Chuck Bartowski: Well, there are many ways in which to communicate.

Chuck Bartowski: [Sarah's calling Casey] He did just get shot in the leg, and is resting up. So he probably won't be available.
John Casey: Casey. What do you need?
Sarah Walker: A little bored Casey?
John Casey: Dear God give me something to do.

Chuck Bartowski: [to Sarah] Oh God. Ramming happening right now. What do we do? Any ideas?
Ellie Bartowski: [laughing on the other side of the door] Devon, you're so bad.
Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: [laughing] How bad am I?
Chuck Bartowski: Good Lord, get me out of here!

Hortencia Goya: But then we moved into the Palace and he *changed*.
Sarah Walker: So change ruined things?
Chuck Bartowski: But change is unavoidable. Unavoidable. Life is full of changes. Constantly chaning. And the question is: no matter what the changes are, is the love still there?

Chuck Bartowski: Ellie, I'm looking for mom.
Ellie Bartowski: What?... Why?
Chuck Bartowski: Because I think - I think we should know the whole truth about why she left us.

Ellie Bartowski: But what if there isn't another side to the story? What if our mother is *exactly* who we think she is?
Chuck Bartowski: Then we'll find that out too.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Beard (#3.9)" (2010)
Daniel Shaw: Off nights get agents killed. You need to figure this out because the Intersect is not working. And I can't risk putting you out in the field.
Chuck Bartowski: OKay, so what exactly are you saying?
Daniel Shaw: I'm saying that until you start flashing again. You're no longer a spy.

Chuck Bartowski: I don't need - I don't need time off, okay? Maybe I'm not flashing because I have all these emotions bottled up inside me. You ever thought about that? I mean - I - I just broke up with Hannah. I can't talk to my best friend, or my sister about anything in my life. I'm not a machine. Okay, I am a machine. But I am also a person.
Sarah Walker: Well you can always talk to us.
Chuck Bartowski: ...Yeah, uh, no thanks. I don't think that's going to work for me.

Morgan Grimes: I cannot believe I am saying this. But you're fired!
Chuck Bartowski: What? You're firing me from the Buy More?
Morgan Grimes: Buy More? No. You kidding me? You're the best Nerd Herder we have. I need you here.
[Morgan sighs]
Morgan Grimes: I'm firing you as my best friend.

Chuck Bartowski: Morgan, the truth is - the truth is... I am a member of a joint NSA CIA Black Ops team that is stationed here in Burbank. I have a level 6 clearance and my code name is Charles Carmichael. I'm a spy, buddy.

Morgan Grimes: So Sarah is your handler? Does that make her your beard? In other words, like, uh, is your whole relationship fake, cause, uh, buddy, that's - that's just awful.
Chuck Bartowski: Why? Because we never had sex.
Morgan Grimes: No I just feel like you know having a bea- YOU NEVER HAD SEX WITH THAT GIRL?... That's not. No. No. It's - it's awful that you had to pretend to be in the relationship with somebody you clearly love.

Chuck Bartowski: Look, I'm flashing. I'm a spy again because I have my best friend back. You need the Intersect and I need him. So Morgan Grimes is staying exactly where he belongs. Which is the Burbank Buy More.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the DeLorean (#2.10)" (2008)
Chuck Bartowski: I didn't realize we got personal days.
John Casey: You don't. We do.

Chuck Bartowski: The guy is a total loser, all right. Absolute bottom feeding scum of the Earth. Have I mentioned considerably *older* man!
Jack Burton: [from behind] All true, but I'm a hell of a dancer.
Sarah Walker: Chuck, I'd like you to meet my dad, Jack Burton. Dad this is my boyfriend, Chuck.
Chuck Bartowski: [Chuck clears his throat] A real pleasure sir.

Sarah Walker: Give the order and I'll bring him in.
Chuck Bartowski: What? You're gonna arrest your own father?
John Casey: If Agent Walker's uncomfortable, I'd be happy to make the arrest.
General Diane Beckman: No one's getting arrested... yet.

Sarah Walker: Chuck, you're attributing good intentions to him because you're a good person.
Chuck Bartowski: Well, he must've done something right, you turned out pretty good.

Jack Burton: Remember Charles, the bigger the lie -the easier...
Chuck Bartowski: The easier it is to believe.

Jack Burton: Well you pulled it off kid. I'm a believer.
Chuck Bartowski: Well my German's a little rusty, but...
Jack Burton: No. That you two are a couple.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Colonel (#2.21)" (2009)
Morgan Grimes: [Reading a note from Morgan] IOU one condom. Your pal, Morgan.
Chuck Bartowski: I'm gonna kill you Morgan!

Chuck Bartowski: I have very sensitive sinuses.
John Casey: Well 9mm of hot lead should clear that right out! Did you really think you could run away from me? Let's go!

Chuck Bartowski: For whatever it's worth, if I have to spend the rest of my days in a dark windowless room, I can't think of a better person to spend it with.
Sarah Walker: Not really how this works.
Chuck Bartowski: What? We can't request a cozy little two-bed two-bath cell?
Sarah Walker: Two-bed?

Ted Roark: Of course, if this doesn't work, I'm afraid I'm going to have to go back to that bit where I kill everybody.
Chuck Bartowski: What if it does work?
Ted Roark: If it does work, same result. But you know, you should root for it. Nobody likes a cynic.

Chuck Bartowski: "Colonel" Casey, huh? Now I get it. Now I understand why you'd betray your own team.
John Casey: I never betray my team. You went AWOL. You betrayed me. Don't you ever forget that.
Chuck Bartowski: So sorry, colonel. But congratulations on that chicken franchise you've always wanted.

Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: Chuck. Chuck, this is crazy. We've got to call the police.
Chuck Bartowski: Devon, we can't do that. Here, drink this.
Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: He tried to kill me. Why can't we call the cops?
Chuck Bartowski: Because I am the cops.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Imported Hard Salami (#1.9)" (2007)
John Casey: How was the date?
Chuck Bartowski: Is it me or does our government never want me to have sex again?

Sarah Walker: Chuck I want you to stay here.
Chuck Bartowski: While you go off and try to disarm the bomb? No!
Sarah Walker: What do you know about disarming bombs?
Chuck Bartowski: Hello, do you have an intersect in your head? I didn't think so!

Sarah Walker: [seeing there's only a minute left on the timer] Chuck, run!
Chuck Bartowski: No.
Sarah Walker: [points a gun at him] Chuck! I said run!
Chuck Bartowski: [sarcastically] So you're going to shoot me to stop me from getting blown up? Yeah, good plan!
Sarah Walker: Why are you being so stubborn!
Chuck Bartowski: I don't know! It's a rare moment of courage!

Sarah Walker: [after Sarah kissed Chuck, and the bomb didn't blow up] Okay, the good news is we're both still alive. The bad news is that right now this is a really awkward moment.
Chuck Bartowski: It's not so awkward on my end.
[Sarah looks at him]
Chuck Bartowski: I'm just saying...

Chuck Bartowski: [while on a date with Lou] It wouldn't be an official Chuck Bartowski date if the girl didn't leave injured in some way.

Chuck Bartowski: Of course. I get it. The old story. Guy gets supercomputer in his brain. Beautiful C.I.A. agent comes to protect him. Then under the spell of truth serum tells him, she's not interested. But for *me*. The emotional roller coaster is a little much. So I think I'd rather find something a little less common. Like say, I don't know, a real relationship.
Sarah Walker: Okay, Chuck. If that's what you want, I'm going to have to sell it!
[starts tearing up]
Chuck Bartowski: You okay?
[Sarah continues crying and leaves]
Chuck Bartowski: Sarah?

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Tooth (#3.16)" (2010)
Dr. Leo Dreyfus: But your dreams are also proof of stress the Intersect puts on your brain. And it is my belief that stress will continue and intensify. Leading to serious mental deterioration.
Chuck Bartowski: Um, what... does that mean exactly?
Dr. Leo Dreyfus: This is a new science. Time will tell.

Sarah Walker: It's official There is absolutely nothing on TV.
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah, Monday nights can be a bit of a wasteland.

Chuck Bartowski: I've been having these very very vivid dreams. Okay? First I saw the news reports on Kuti, the President of Zamibia. But then in my dream I saw Beethoven. Then Shaw was there and he was delivering Zambian food. And then he tried to kill everyone. So obviously the Zamibian President is going to be assassinated by the Ring at the Beethoven concert.
John Casey: General, permission to slap Bartowski? He had a bad dream.

Dr. Leo Dreyfus: It's happening Chuck. Disturbing as it may be, you're currently a patient in a psychiatric institution. Best come to terms with that sooner than later.
Chuck Bartowski: Wow. You really know how to make a guy feel better about his situation doc.

Chuck Bartowski: You came back for me.
Sarah Walker: I'll always come back for you.
[They kiss]
Merlin: So will Merlin, Chuck. So will Merlin.

Chuck Bartowski: Hey Sarah we need to talk.
Sarah Walker: Sure Chuck...
Chuck Bartowski: No listen this is very important.
Sarah Walker: I love you. It shouldn't have taken me this long to say it, but I've never felt this way. Before you, the only future that I could think about was my next mission, and now all I can think about is a future with you. I love you Chuck.
Chuck Bartowski: I love you too.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus Operation Awesome (#3.4)" (2010)
Chuck Bartowski: There's something you need to know about me, Shaw. There's nothing in my life that I care about more than my friends and my family. Of course, I don't expect you to understand being the spy that you are. I'm sure that you don't care about anybody.
Shaw: Families and friends make us vulnerable. Make us unable to pull the trigger. And that puts everyone in greater danger. Just ask your partner here. She'll tell you the same thing.
Sarah Walker: Sometimes it helps to know you've got something to lose.

Chuck Bartowski: [In Thai to a customer] My brother-in-law was just captured by evil people. If you don't get away from me right now, it is possible that I might hurt you! RUN AWAY!
[Realizes what happened. Starts speaking in English]
Chuck Bartowski: Excuse me. I'm so sorry. That's not what I meant to say.

Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: You mean I have to do what she says?
Chuck Bartowski: No, you don't. No, he doesn't! This my family we're talking about, here. Come on.
Sarah Walker: It's the only way to keep him safe. Devon, we'll be with you every step of the way.
Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: [to Chuck] If you tell me you can get me through this, I trust you.
Chuck Bartowski: ...I will Devon. I promise.

Chuck Bartowski: You know she wants me to kill you, right? But don't worry I'm - I'm not going to do that. However, we do need a plan.
Daniel Shaw: Got one. You're going to kill me Chuck.

Sydney: This is not Devon Woodcomb.
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah, well you've been dealing with the wrong man. Devon was a decoy. I'm the one who put that bullet through Agent Shaw's chest last night. I'm the spy that you're looking for. And *I* am in charge of this mission now.

Chuck Bartowski: [On his cellphone] Oh my God, it worked. They're hear. Okay, grab Casey and get up here so we can take them out.
Sarah Walker: Chuck, what are you crazy?
[Shaw grabs Walker's phone]
Daniel Shaw: Not very smart Chuck. This is not how I do business. You start things on your own, you better be prepared to finish them... on your own. Good luck.
[Ends the call]

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Subway (#3.18)" (2010)
Steve Bartowski: Son, your brain is working fine so far, right? Who wouldn't be paranoid in your shoes? Your cover's blown, your secret base discovered, you dead partner and girlfriend's ex-lover was a double agent.
Chuck Bartowski: Way to talk me down, dad.
Steve Bartowski: What I - what I'm trying to say is: your courage makes me very proud. But there's some battles you have to walk away from.

Steve Bartowski: That's what the Ring wants you to think. There's always a choice.
Chuck Bartowski: What choice would that be, dad? To run away?... I'm not you, okay? I'm not going to spend the rest of my life in hiding. I can't leave the one I love behind...
[to Sarah and Casey]
Chuck Bartowski: Let's go!

General Diane Beckman: In conclusion, General,I would stake my reputatin on the success of Agent Bartowski.
General Merriweather: [Chuck bursts in fighting Justin] As you were saying, General Beckman?
General Diane Beckman: What the hell are you doing, Bartowski?
Ellie Bartowski: Chuck, what the hell is going on?
Chuck Bartowski: Apparently I have no idea.

Sarah Walker: Chuck, wait where are you going?
Chuck Bartowski: Sarah, I have to leave. My - my dad is coming.
Sarah Walker: No, you can't. You have to stay and fight. If you run, they'll put a burn notice on you, and you'll be running forever.
Steve Bartowski: [Steve Bartowski arrives] We have to move. Right now!
Sarah Walker: You can't do this. If you run, there's a bullseye on your back. They will *never* ever stop looking for you.
Steve Bartowski: If you stay everyone you love will be in danger. You have to decide who do you want to protect: you or her.
Chuck Bartowski: Dad please don't -
[the alarm starts blaring]
Steve Bartowski: Right now Charles! You have to run to protect her!
Chuck Bartowski: I'm sorry Sarah. I'm sorry but if I have to choose, I will always choose to protect you!
[Kisses Sarah]

Steve Bartowski: I'm your father. You cannot ask me. Please do not ask me to put my own son in jeopardy.
Chuck Bartowski: I can't just walk away, dad. Why did you come back this time? You came back because you wanted to protect Ellie and me. Because you knew no matter how far you ran, you couldn't live with yourself if something happened to someone you love.
Steve Bartowski: If we do this... we gotta be smart. Not think emotionally. We can do it. We're Bartowskis!

Chuck Bartowski: I don't need a watch to beat you Shaw. Come on aren't you a little curious. I know I am. Don't you want to see how your Intersect stacks up against mine?
Daniel Shaw: You're right, Chuck. The fight will be incredible. We're totally equal now. Nothing separates us. Though -there's one thing that's different. You can't function when your emotions have been compromised.
Chuck Bartowski: Don't worry about that. I've never been more calm.
Daniel Shaw: Really? How you feeling now?
[Shoots Steve Bartowski]

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Truth (#1.8)" (2007)
John Casey: [while looking at a body in the morgue] Any flashes?
Chuck Bartowski: Good Lord! That man is naked!
John Casey: Hmmm. Looks like rigor mortis has set in too.

Reardon Paine: [knocking on the bad guy's door after being exposed to truth serum] Who's there?
Chuck Bartowski: The NSA, CIA, and me! Which is a little harder to explain...

Sarah Walker: [about the antidote] Here, Chuck, take it.
Chuck Bartowski: What? No way, I'm not gonna take it knowing Ellie's been poisoned, and you guys!
Sarah Walker: I'm sorry, Chuck, there's no debating this. It has to be you.
John Casey: Right, now take it, or I'll force it down your throat!
Chuck Bartowski: Alright. I'll pretend to take it, then run like hell to my sister, and make her take it. Why did I just say that out loud?
Sarah Walker: It's the poison. It makes you tell the truth!
John Casey: If you do that, I'll give chase, put a gun to your head and threaten to pull the trigger!
Chuck Bartowski: Would you really shoot me?
John Casey: No.
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah, don't waste a bullet, we're already dead!

Sarah Walker: [breaking into the bad guy's hide out] I'll do it.
John Casey: No, I'll do it!
Chuck Bartowski: Who's better at it?
Sarah Walker: I am!
John Casey: She is. Damn this truth serum!

[under the influence of a truth serum]
Chuck Bartowski: [looks at Sarah] God you're so pretty!
Chuck Bartowski: [looks at Casey] ... and Casey, your jaw was chiseled my Michelangelo himself.
John Casey: Thank you.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Hack Off (#5.5)" (2011)
Chuck Bartowski: Okay, this is definitely not a militia. Sarah - Sarah, I think we walked into a cult.
Sarah Walker: Way ahead of you. Strip. Now!
Chuck Bartowski: Wh- what- what are you doing? What are you doing?
Sarah Walker: Joining the cult. Come on.

Sarah Walker: [Chuck and Sarah are naked] Now keep a close eye. I really have *no* place to hide a gun.
Chuck Bartowski: Not too close an eye though. I'm serious - for real. No looking.
Gertrude Verbanski: Calm down. No one's looking at anything. Not much to look at anyway
Sarah Walker: That is not fair. I have nothing to be ashamed of.

Chuck Bartowski: [to Freddie] You know what? YOu actually have a little hiccup there at the bottom of your page. The compiler can't optimize a value away like that. You just gotta
[Chuck types on Freddie's keyboard]
Chuck Bartowski: There you go. Rookie mistake. I'm sure it won't happen again. Oh, I'm losing better get back to work.
[Chuck works on his terminal]
Chuck Bartowski: I forgot something. I'm really good at this.

Chuck Bartowski: [Timur points a gun at Chuck] Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Before you use that, I've got a little business tip for you.
Timur: And what is that?
Chuck Bartowski: You should really look into finding a better security expert.
[Chuck uses his terminal to switch off the lights]
Freddie: Fixed it.

Chuck Bartowski: Sarah, I was wrong about quitting the spy life. Because right now, we've got to be the best spies we've ever been.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Break-Up (#2.3)" (2008)
John Casey: [watching Anna fight; talking on phone] I need a background clearance on a one Anna Wu.
Morgan Grimes: Nice shot, Miss Wu.
[Anna giggles and leaps into Morgan's arms]
John Casey: I might have a candidate for possible field work.
Chuck Bartowski: [calmly annoyed] No.

Bryce Larkin: We need to talk about Sarah. She had a chance to take the shot back there and she didn't. She hesitated and almost cost us the microchip and your life.
Chuck Bartowski: I know.
Bryce Larkin: What are you gonna do about it?
Chuck Bartowski: [turns around faces Bryce] I don't know, Bryce. You tell me. What am I supposed to do?
Bryce Larkin: You'll do the right thing. You always do. That's why I sent you the Intersect in the first place.

Chuck Bartowski: [picking up some sunglasses] Hey, uh, Bryce. You forgot your glasses.
Bryce Larkin: You keep 'em. If you're gonna be a real spy, you're gonna need them.
Chuck Bartowski: [chuckles] I don't - I don't wanna be a real spy.
[hands the glasses back to Bryce]
Bryce Larkin: From what I've seen, it's a little too late for that, Chuck. I'm sure you hate me right now, but someday you're gonna realize I was looking out for you. I have been all along.

Chuck Bartowski: [puts on glasses Bryce left for him] Hmmm. Not bad.
[looks at himself in the mirror]
Chuck Bartowski: Carmichael. Charles Carmichael.
[gets the Intersect update; sighs; falls down]
Chuck Bartowski: I hate Bryce Larkin.

John Casey: Lunch break, Orange Orange.
Chuck Bartowski: Yogurt again? Can't we have a meatball sub?
John Casey: We're not eating, idiot. We got a new mission.
Chuck Bartowski: Does it have anything to do with Bryce? Why he's in town?
John Casey: I don't know. If I know Larkin, he's probably here for a roll in the hay with Walker.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Cat Squad (#4.15)" (2011)
Sarah Walker: I haven't seen them in a very long time and I have changed a lot. Look, I-I just think we should have talked about this beforehand. This could open a Pandora's box.
Chuck Bartowski: Really? How?
Sarah Walker: Well first of all - Carina? She was the mellow one.

Carina: We heard that you were getting married.
Zondra: You know what that means.
Amy: Girls night out.
Chuck Bartowski: I'm Chuck by the way.
Zondra: [Ignoring Chuck and watching Sarah strap into her harness] Buckle up girl we're going for a ride.

Chuck Bartowski: Well, CIA cleared Zondra. It's gotta be some kind of misunderstanding, right? Time can heal wounds. Margaritas don't hurt either. Speaking of which, I'm working on a new recipe for the party.

Ellie Bartowski: Chuck, you bend over backwards to help people. It's one of the reasons that you're so easy to love, but sometimes the best thing you can do is just take a step back. Be understanding. You don't have to fix everything.
Chuck Bartowski: So I blew it?
Ellie Bartowski: Big time. But I'm pretty sure she still loves you.

Chuck Bartowski: [as Amy's on his back attacking him] I don't like fight girls.
[Amy continues her attack]
Chuck Bartowski: What I meant was, I was taught to be a gentlemen.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Curse (#5.6)" (2011)
Chuck Bartowski: Man, I'm glad we're not on the lam forever. Because I gotta tell you, standing here, I feel like I'm becoming my father. I can only imagine this is how he felt like the first day he had to leave us alone. You know, all alone in exile.
Sarah Walker: That's not gonna happen. Not if I have anything to do with it.
Chuck Bartowski: It's like it's my family thing or something. You know - the Bartowski Curse.

Chuck Bartowski: This is my curse, Sarah. Don't you understand? The people I love are in danger. It's my fault. I need to fix it.
Sarah Walker: Forget about the curse.I'm going out there. Talk to Casey amd Beckman. Convince them that your plan is the right thing to do. And then we'll go together.

Robin Cunnings: [after finding her agent unconscious] How did this happen?
Chuck Bartowski: I guess you never met my sister.

Chuck Bartowski: I can handle anything you throw at me.
Robin Cunnings: They all say that - so sad.
[Loudly to her men]
Robin Cunnings: Bring out the Toy!
Chuck Bartowski: Whoa. Whoa. Really? That's the Toy? I don't think children should be involved with that in any way shape or form.

Sarah Walker: There is no curse, You're not your father, Chuck. You're not fated to be alone, or to hurt anybody. Those things happened because of the choices that people make - that *you* make.
Chuck Bartowski: You're right. I'll never do it again - leave without you. The Bartowski family curse emds here -and - and not with me - with us.
Sarah Walker: If you ever go out alone again just remember - I'm a trained assassin.
Chuck Bartowski: Noted.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Family Volkoff (#4.20)" (2011)
Chuck Bartowski: My sister just lied to me. She's never lied to me. Not cool.

Sarah Walker: No, I-I don't keep secrets from you. It's just - uh, family stuff.
Chuck Bartowski: Get it. Done.
Sarah Walker: Yeah. Cool.

Alexei Volkoff: The thorium's in a Swiss Military Bunker. The locks are coded to my DNA. We fly at midnight. Fuel my jet!
Chuck Bartowski: You don't have a jet.
Alexei Volkoff: ...Of course. Old thinking. It creeps back.

Chuck Bartowski: Damn it! You still have the DNA of the world's most evil weapon's dealer. You are a villain, sir! Your name strikes fear in even the toughest of swine. And that name is...
Alexei Volkoff: Alexei Volkoff.
Chuck Bartowski: [Imitating Alexei] You say like you mean it.
Alexei Volkoff: My name is... Alexei... Volkoff. World'd biggest bad-ass. Killer of men. Conqueror of nations.
Chuck Bartowski: Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Game. Gun. Clock.

Sarah Walker: [after Sarah tears up her Pre-Nup. Chuck hands her his. Sarah reads the Pre-Nup aloud] "I, Sarah Walker, promise to
[Sarah sighs]
Sarah Walker: Always love Chuck Bartowski. In return he will always love me."
[Sarah chuckles slightly]
Sarah Walker: I can't read the fine print.
Chuck Bartowski: Fine print says "I promise Chuck, that I will not even contemplate the word 'divorce.' I will never use my Pre-Nup." I already signed it.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Wedding Planner (#4.21)" (2011)
Chuck Bartowski: I just don't understand. She came so highly recommended - by the Internet.

Chuck Bartowski: Honey, I-I know she stole from us, but you're taking this pretty hard.
Sarah Walker: Well, of course I am! I was raised by a con man and I got taken!

Kathleen McHugh: I talked to Alex, and uh, she already knew. She thinks you're - some kind of hero or something - for the government. She wanted to believe it so much. Guess I did too.
Chuck Bartowski: [Over Casey's earpiece] Casey, where are you?
John Casey: You should go.
Kathleen McHugh: Only if you promise to tell Alex the truth. You want to be part of her life, you owe her that.
John Casey: I don't want to lie to anyone.
Kathleen McHugh: Then don't!

General Diane Beckman: However, my superiors were quite impressed with the exceptional work you did in acquiring the Zephyr device. Though I still question how you managed to accomplish that task *without any* CIA resources.
Sarah Walker: Well, it was really uh...
Chuck Bartowski: You could chalk it up to...
General Diane Beckman: I have a feeling the less I know - the better. Welcome back. You're dismissed.
[Beckman ends the feed]
Chuck Bartowski: That went better than expected.
Sarah Walker: I thought so.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Balcony (#4.11)" (2011)
Sarah Walker: My mother's family had a restaurant. It was similar to this, and they loved it. So my dad wanted to propose there, and - God! He had the champagne and the flowers and the band and the balloons and - I mean, it was chaotic. It was so over the top, and - in all the confusion, somebody knocked over a candle and it lit the rug on fire. Luckily my mother, and her family got out with only minor burns.
Chuck Bartowski: Minor - minor burns?
Sarah Walker: Yeah.
Chuck Bartowski: You don't say.
Sarah Walker: So please take your time, Chuck.
[Sarah chuckles]
Sarah Walker: No rush.

Chuck Bartowski: I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Going on missions, and saving the day. Being heroes. But mostly though, I want to be with you - at your side - always.
[Chuck pulls out a ring]
Chuck Bartowski: Sarah, will you...

Sarah Walker: They're not taking me, Chuck. I'm going. Beckman never thought I was a traitor. It was a set up. The perfect opportunity to - to set up my cover as a double agent. Chuck, we have so much together. We have a real life and a future. But I need to get back to being the old me just - for a little while longer, if I plan on surviving this.
Chuck Bartowski: Survive what? Where are you going?
Sarah Walker: I'm going undercover in Volkoff Industries. I'm going to take them down from the inside.
Chuck Bartowski: No. No, you're not. That's exactly how I lost my mom!
Sarah Walker: That's exactly how you're going to get her back. I'm doing this for you, okay? For me. For us!

Morgan Grimes: Let me ask you something. What is the only thing better than a sunset?
Chuck Bartowski: Things going right for a change.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Undercover Lover (#1.12)" (2008)
Chuck Bartowski: You know, Casey, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship.
[Casey knocks Chuck to the ground]
Chuck Bartowski: Or maybe not.

John Casey: Relax, I think I see a scenario where we both get out with acceptable losses.
Chuck Bartowski: What *exactly* is your version of acceptable?
John Casey: Breaks, punctures, possible loss of limb, no major organ damage.

Chuck Bartowski: One, one more thing. There was one more name, another name I flashed on actually. But I left it, her name off the list.
John Casey: What the hell are you talking about, Bartowski?
Chuck Bartowski: Does the name Ilsa Trinchina mean anything to you, Sugar Bear?
John Casey: [Casey grabs Chuck slams him against the wall] You say that name ever again, and I will end you! Nod if you understand.
[Chuck nods hitting his head against the wall]
Chuck Bartowski: Casey you're hurting the Intersect.
[Casey lets him go]

Chuck Bartowski: How do you like me now, sucker?

"Chuck: Chuck Versus Agent X (#4.22)" (2011)
Chuck Bartowski: I'm planning on having a good man-to-man talk as soon as we get to Vegas. I mean it's the perfect place to have a sincere, heartfelt conversation.
Sarah Walker: You really have never been to Vegas, have you?

Chuck Bartowski: I could be as funs as Vegas. 'Cause this weekend is-is about bonding after all, isn't it?
Lester Patel: No. No it isn't.
Big Mike: Not at all. It's about mistakes and gambling. And - and getting into some weird stuff that just may haunt you the rest of your life.
Lester Patel: Amen, Michael.

Chuck Bartowski: And I-I-I don't think there should be any secrets between the two of us.
Ellie Bartowski: I've been working on something secret. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to worry.
Chuck Bartowski: I know about dad's laptop, and his research. Mom told me.
Ellie Bartowski: So why are we here?
[Ellie chuckles. Then a sudden realization]
Ellie Bartowski: You're still a spy!

Ellie Bartowski: I was going to use this to find Agent X.
Chuck Bartowski: Ellie, you've found him. You're looking at the first human Intersect. It's me.
Ellie Bartowski: No, not unless he gave it to you before you were born. November 21, 1980.
Sarah Walker: What? There was an Intersect before Chuck?

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the First Bank of Evil (#4.17)" (2011)
Morgan Grimes: You know what? New apartment - I'm going to go no television. It'll be very liberating.
[Chuck glares at Morgan]
Morgan Grimes: Kidding. Totally kidding. 72 inches, dude. Bam!
Chuck Bartowski: I was honestly about to smack you right now.

Sarah Walker: [Chuck has stalkings on his head] What are you doing?
Chuck Bartowski: What? We're robbing a bank, right? You packed them so...
Sarah Walker: I packed them in case we have a chance to go out later. Take them off. You'll wreck them!
Chuck Bartowski: Sorry.

Sarah Walker: [about her wedding dress] Ellie was right. When I put it on, it felt magical.
[to everyone in the bank]
Chuck Bartowski: I'm so glad you found a dress. That's awesome. I bet you look gorgeous in it.
[to a bank patron]
Sarah Walker: Well, it's actually really pretty. And you know, I never thought I'd say this, but - I felt like a princess.

Chuck Bartowski: [after overhearing some of Sarah's wedding plans] Ellie, what the heck was that?
Ellie Bartowski: I think I created a monster.
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah. Well, Cause I work - I work at the Buy More. And that stuff sounds kind of pricey.
Ellie Bartowski: Maybe you could just pick up a few extra shifts - or rob a bank?

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Frosted Tips (#5.3)" (2011)
General Diane Beckman: There's a sizeable bounty on Zorn. I'm outsourcing to your team to circumvent the leak. My only condition is that no one breaths my name in connection to the mission.
Morgan Grimes: [Honking the horn] Yo Becky! What up baby girl?
General Diane Beckman: [to Chuck] I told you to come alone!
Morgan Grimes: You doing Pilates, huh? You are. Don't say you're not. You are.
General Diane Beckman: What the Hell is wrong with him?
Chuck Bartowski: So many things.

John Casey: Little bastard stole it. He stole our mission!
Chuck Bartowski: He probably took it with him to Verbanski Corp. I can't believe - MORGAN JUST PANTSED US!
[Chuck and Casey start taking weapons from the rack]
Sarah Walker: What are you two doing?
Chuck Bartowski: We're taking down the competition.

Morgan Grimes: [after fighting a masked opponent] You master has taught you well.
Chuck Bartowski: [Removing his mask] I *am* the master.

Chuck Bartowski: You know what, Morgan? We're friends, so I'm going to give you a chance here.
Morgan Grimes: No. That's the thing, Chuck. We are not friends.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Fake Name (#3.8)" (2010)
Chuck Bartowski: Okay, how about this one: what was your most difficult hit?
Rafe Gruber: I'll take torture over this man's questions.
John Casey: Roger that.
Chuck Bartowski: [Imitating Rafe] "I'll take torture over this man's questions."

Chuck Bartowski: Are you implying that this guy, *my* guy, is a cop?
Matty: That's exactly what I'm saying! So what does that say about you?
Chuck Bartowski: [Chuck grabs Matty's gun. Then hits Casey] If he's a cop, I'll him myself!

Devon 'Captain Awesome' Woodcomb: Stop. Stop. If you keep talking, I'm going to have to lie to your sister, and I can't do that anymore. I'm not cut out for this, Chuck. I'm not like you.
Chuck Bartowski: I'm sorry. I get it... Look from now on, if Ellie asks you something, just say you don't know. It's not a lie.

Chuck Bartowski: I feel like I'm living a lie, Ellie. I used to be able to compartmentalize... these things. But it's like all the time now, it never stops. I fell like I'm not me anymore.
Ellie Bartowski: I think I know what this is about.
Chuck Bartowski: You do?
Ellie Bartowski: Maybe things are moving too fast with Hannah. And... even though you really like her. It feels dishonest. Because the truth is you still have feelings for Sarah. Does this sound about right?

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Marlin (#1.13)" (2008)
Chuck Bartowski: Say it! Say what you're not saying.
Sarah Walker: If we can't find the receiver in 24 hours...
John Casey: You'll be stored in an underground bunker for so long, you won't remember what fresh air smells like.

Chuck Bartowski: [as he's leaving] Goodbye Sarah.
Sarah Walker: I'll save you later, Chuck.

Chuck Bartowski: Look, what if I surrender and you run. I mean I'm going into a cell anyway. What's the difference?
Sarah Walker: Torture.
Chuck Bartowski: Okay, no surrender.

Det Conway: His cover's blown! He's gone!
Sarah Walker: No! I will take full responsibilty! Chuck is *my* asset. My guy. Just give us more time. Please
Chuck Bartowski: I'd appreciate it. I really would.
Sarah Walker: Please don't do this!
[starts reaching for her gun]
Det Conway: Okay, you got one minute.
[to Chuck]
Det Conway: ONE minute!

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Masquerade (#4.16)" (2011)
Chuck Bartowski: Sarah, I gotta tell you, masquerades really creep me out, okay? It's like Eyes Wide Shut, but you know, not as boring. Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge Kubrick fan.
Sarah Walker: Chuck, come on. It's just a bunch of socialites wearing masks.
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah. It could be that or a sex-crazed orgy party where they don't want you to see their faces or know their secrets.
Sarah Walker: No. No, I've been to those kinds of parties and it doesn't look anything like this.
Chuck Bartowski: What? What? What? What? What? Really?
Sarah Walker: Come on, Chuck. Don't be ridiculous.

Vivian Volkoff: LOok, can you please tell me what this is all about?
Chuck Bartowski: Quick version: your father is an International arms dealer, and murderer and all-around bad guy.
Vivian Volkoff: No. No. My father is an oil executive.
Sarah Walker: Okay. Look, we'll explain later. I have an idea. Chuck, get ready to flash.

Morgan Grimes: I gotta finish packing upand then I'm heading out that door, dude. And I'm just going to open myself up to the universe.
Chuck Bartowski: So - moving to your mom's?
Morgan Grimes: Pretty much straight over.

Chuck Bartowski: [as Vivian is mounting her horse] What do you think you're doing?
Vivian Volkoff: I'm not doing this anymore. I'm not letting anyone die for me. I've spent my whole life hiding, Charles. It ends today!

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Cubic Z (#4.3)" (2010)
Chuck Bartowski: I don't think you're taking this seriously enough, buddy.
Morgan Grimes: Oh, I'm serious. I'm DeNiro serious. Listen, the Buy More is CIA, and as the manager, I am the front line of the Buy More. If things don't run smoothly up here, well, it's a national security issue. I need a sidearm - like a Desert Eagle or something big.
Chuck Bartowski: You're beyond DeNiro. This is Russell Crowe serious.

Sarah Walker: Chuck, unless you want Beckman to know that we're looking for your mom, we don't have the authority to interrogate Chandler.
Chuck Bartowski: Well, we don't have the authority to use the supply closet for what it is we use it for, but we do it anyway, don't we? Look, she knows my mom.

Sarah Walker: If you let her get under your skin about the living together thing, and about the other thing she mentioned. We're not going to get anywhere.
Chuck Bartowski: "Other thing"? What is that "other thing?"
Sarah Walker: Remember. Tough. Silent. Do not let her get under your skin.

Heather Chandler: [to Sarah] Burton, be kind to him. He's too sick in love to see the truth.
[to Chuck]
Heather Chandler: Just remember she keeps secrets for a living.
Chuck Bartowski: Tell me, why are we saving your life again?
Heather Chandler: Because my connection to Frost. And my time with her in Burma.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Push Mix (#4.13)" (2011)
Chuck Bartowski: No. No, Morgan. I can't do this any more. I watched my mom leave us and my dad follow her. I let Sarah go. And now, Casey. And the whole time I did nothing. Nothing - while one man took everything away from me. Ellie's right. Bartowski's take care of their family. And right now, it's time I put mine back together again. This was my father's mission. And I have to finish it. We're going to take down Volkoff!

Devon Woodcomb: Listen, I gotta run. I still gotta find someone to make Ellie's placenta into vitamin pills.
Chuck Bartowski: Ugh. I gotta unhear that. How do I unhear that? I don't know how to unhear that.

Chuck Bartowski: [to Volkoff] Technically, I guess you could say, that in the end it was Stephen J. Bartowski who took you down. Fitting don't you think? You know my father, he taught me a lot of things like: looks can be deceiving. Fight for your family. And of course, never use a gun unless you absolutely have to.
[Alexi tries to shoot Chuck]
Chuck Bartowski: Yeah, I probably should have told you, I have this thing about bullets. I was never going to kill you, Alexi. After all, I am my father's son, aren't I?

Chuck Bartowski: Uh, General. General. Can we borrow a van?
General Diane Beckman: Agent Bartowski, you just arrested Alexi Volkoff and obtained the Hydra Network we have spent the last *twenty* years searching for!
[to her aide]
General Diane Beckman: Lieutenant, get this man a chopper!

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Business Trip (#5.4)" (2011)
General Diane Beckman: [Sarcastically] So shocked you people are running out of money.
Chuck Bartowski: Missile Command is part of our process.

Chuck Bartowski: How's your memory, buddy? Do you remember Die Hard? Star Wars? Chewie? Yoda? "Yippee kai yay?"
Morgan Grimes: Sorry dude, no. It all kind of sounds like gibberish.
Sarah Walker: It is.

Chuck Bartowski: [to Morgan] Don't worry, buddy. Your name's not going to be on that list.
Sarah Walker: Yeah, we're on it.
John Casey: Yeah, leave it to the three friend you recently stabbed in the back.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Sandworm (#1.6)" (2007)
Laszlo: [pointing a gun at Chuck] I didn't kill anyone! I was framed!
Chuck Bartowski: Okay! Okay! I believe you! But FYI, you're kinda acting like a murderer.

Chuck Bartowski: Is that a water gun?
Laszlo: [pointing gun at him] No!
Chuck Bartowski: Cause I'm pretty sure its dripping on my face.

John Casey: You! What do I have to do to get timely intel out of you Bartowski?
Chuck Bartowski: Look, I briefed Sarah last night alright?
John Casey: [sarcastically] Oh, I bet you did slugger.
Chuck Bartowski: I thought we're all suppose to be part of the same team here, huh, Team Chuck?
John Casey: We are, but I'm starting to feel like the guy that always gets picked last, and I don't like feeling like Team Chuck's little fat kid!

"Chuck: Chuck Versus Tom Sawyer (#2.5)" (2008)
Chuck Bartowski: Morgan! Hey, ah, buddy, do we carry any Rush CDs in the store?
Morgan Grimes: No need. I got them all in my Zune.
Chuck Bartowski: You have a Zune?
Morgan Grimes: Are you kidding me? No, no. I'll grab my iPod.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus Phase Three (#4.9)" (2010)
General Diane Beckman: Because we have something serious to discuss: Agent Bartowski's position in the Agency *without* the Intersect.
Chuck Bartowski: Excuse me. The Government still wants me?
General Diane Beckman: The Intersect appears to be buried for good. But we'll find a use for you. You're an asset with or without it.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Kept Man (#5.9)" (2012)
Chuck Bartowski: Sarah... What's wrong?...
Sarah Walker: Everything... It's all wrong.

"Chuck: Chuck Versus the Wookiee (#1.4)" (2007)
Carina: Sure you don't want to come back to my hotel room.
Chuck Bartowski: As flattered and... intimidated I am by your proposition: why *me*?
Carina: I love taking what Sarah wants.
Chuck Bartowski: ME? No, Sarah doesn't want me.
Carina: Yeah, she probably doesn't know it yet herself. but *I* do!