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Quotes for
PC Reg Deadman (Character)
from "Goodnight Sweetheart" (1993)

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"Goodnight Sweetheart: The Yanks Are Coming (#3.10)" (1996)
Reg: Here's to you, Cousin James.
James T: Here's to you, Cousin Reg.
Gary: And let's not forget good old Daft Jack.
Niles: Daft Jack Deadman.
[they clink glasses]
Reg: Daft Jack.
Gary: So why did Daft Jack go to America in the first place?
Reg: Well, the way James tells it, it was a pure accident.
James T: Yeah, yeah, according to Grandma, he just went down to the docks and got on the wrong boat.
Reg: Well, where did he intend to go?
James T: Some place called Wool-wich. You know, one things always got me about that story.
Gary: What? How somebody could accidentally get on a boat bound for an entirely different continent?
James T: No, why did they call him *Daft* Jack?
Reg: I was wondering that.

[first lines]
Gary: Ahem!
Gary: Well, don't all rush.
Reg: Gary! Guess who's here? Hold on, I'll give you a clue. Hey, Mac, what do ya say? Hmgh. What do ys know? Can I fix ya a beer?
Reg: Well?
Gary: It's hard to say; they're obviously not human.
Reg: The Yanks are here!
Gary: Fascinating. Anyway, if I could have a drink.
Phoebe: Oh, Gary! I didn't see you there. How are you? You seen whose here? Ever so exciting.
Reg: Been a real breath of fresh air, isn't it, Phoebe?
Phoebe: Oh, I'll say, and they're good for business; I mean, it's like a little bit of Hollywood come to Bethnal Green; I mean, look at them; they're all six footers with toothpaste advert smiles.
Gary: I see they made a big impression on you.

"Goodnight Sweetheart: In the Mood (#1.6)" (1993)
PC Deadman: 'Allo. 'Allo, 'allo
Gary: So that's where it started.

PC Deadman: I don't think it's good enough. I've got a good mind...
Eric: No, you haven't.
PC Deadman: Eh?
Eric: You got a good heart, but even your mother wouldn't say you got a good mind.

"Goodnight Sweetheart: Easy Living (#4.7)" (1997)
[last lines]
Gary: This is a wartime wedding, Phoebe, so I want our best man to be important, well, symbolic even. So, it's not going to be any old friend or workmate for us, Phoebe. Oh, no, better than that: it will be a soldier, or a sailor, or an airman. Phoebe, we will have the best best man of all: a British fighting man.
Reg: Bravo, Gary. Bravo.
Phoebe: Oh, I see. Wonderful. I'll be standing at the altar, and you'll be out on the street trying to pick up a sailor.

"Goodnight Sweetheart: ...As You Wave Me Goodbye (#2.6)" (1995)
Reg: I'm sorry, son, but it's just not
Reg: flaming good enough.
Reg: There, you see what you done. I'm so het up I went and used the F-word.

"Goodnight Sweetheart: Wish Me Luck... (#2.5)" (1995)
[last lines]
Reg: You all right, son?
Gary: All this pain and suffering, this is from one bomb. Why weren't all these people down a shelter?
Reg: Well, not everybody likes it down a shelter, and 'd sooner take a chance and kip in their own beds. And poor old Sid there, he was up on the roof, so he really caught a packet.
Gary: Up on the... up on the roof! Well, what did the stupid bugger expect? What on earth is he doing up there?
Reg: Firewatching. What you're going to be doing tomorrow night.

"Goodnight Sweetheart: Just One More Chance (#2.3)" (1995)
[last lines]
Reg: Sorry to interrupt. Yvonne's 'ere.
[Gary stands up, terrified]
Phoebe: Hello, Auntie.

"Goodnight Sweetheart: One O'Clock Jump (#3.3)" (1996)
Reg: Afternoon, Mr Sparrow, long time no see. How are you then, sir?
Gary: Fine.
Reg: No hard feelings?
Gary: Hard feelings? What, about the time you arrested me for drink driving, even though I had no intention whatsoever of driving, with the result that I lost my license, my job and very nearly my wife? No, no hard feelings at all.
Reg: Good. As long as there's no hard feelings.
Ron: He's not very good at detecting irony, is he?
Reg: Oh, I wouldn't dream of trying detective work, sir. Not my forté at all.

"Goodnight Sweetheart: Change Partners (#3.5)" (1996)
Gary: Reg, has Phoebe got the hump with me?
Reg: Probably time of the month.
Gary: No, I don't think it's that.
Reg: Oh, I think it is; used to get her dad the same.
Gary: No, you mean her mum.
Reg: No, don't think her mum ever did the monthly accounts.
Gary: Night, Reg.

"Goodnight Sweetheart: You're Driving Me Crazy (#4.1)" (1997)
Reg: You smell different. Is that the expensive scent that Gary gave you?
Phoebe: No, I've just broken a jar of pickled eggs, Reg.
Reg: Very nice.

"Goodnight Sweetheart: The Bells Are Ringing (#4.11)" (1997)
Gary: Do you want to see my sponge?
Reg: Oh, that'd be lovely. Is it jam or chocolate?
[Gary produces a sea sponge]
Reg: Wough, don't look very appetizing. Was that your first go at baking?

"Goodnight Sweetheart: Out of Town (#4.3)" (1997)
[first lines]
Phoebe: Chickens, Gary.
Gary: Huh?
Phoebe: And ducks and geese and pigs and cows.
Gary: No, I've already eaten.
Reg: And a dog called Betsy.
Gary: No, you've lost me now.
Phoebe: The farm, Gary. Mrs Carter sent me a letter confirming our booking.

"Goodnight Sweetheart: Goodnight Children Everywhere (#3.6)" (1996)
[last lines]
Phoebe: Drinks all round, I think.
Reg: Oh, I could do serious damage to a pint.
Phoebe: Well,
[the tap handle comes off in her hand]
Phoebe: looks like you already have, Reg.