The Three Little Pigs
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Quotes for
The Three Little Pigs (Character)
from Three Little Pigs (1933)

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Three Little Pigs (1933)
Practical Pig: You can play and laugh and fiddle / Don't think you can make me sore / I'll be safe and you'll be sorry / When the Wolf comes to your door.

Practical Pig: I build my house of stone / I build my house of bricks / I've had no chance / To sing and dance / 'Cause work and play don't mix.

Practical Pig: See? I told you what would happen / When that big wolf came around / Only bricks and stone are wolf-proof / Now, at last, you're safe and sound.

Fifer Pig, Fiddler Pig: Who's there?
Wolf: I'm a poor little sheep with no place to sleep. Please open the door and let me in.
Fifer Pig, Fiddler Pig: Not by the hair on our chinny-chin-chin. You can't fool us with that old sheepskin.

Fifer Pig, Fiddler Pig: [singing] Who's afraid of the Big Bad Wolf, Big Bad Wolf, Big Bad Wolf? Who's afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

Fifer Pig: I build my house of straw / I build my house of hay / I toot my flute / I don't give a hoot / And play around all day.

Fifer Pig: I'll punch him in the nose.
Fiddler Pig: I'll tie him in a knot.
Fifer Pig: I'll kick him in the chin.
Fiddler Pig: We'll put him on the spot.
[Both make machine gun sounds]

Fiddler Pig: I build my house of sticks / I build my house of twigs / With a hey-diddle-diddle / I play on the fiddle / And dance all kinds of jigs.


"Family Guy: Padre de Familia (#6.6)" (2007)
Brian Griffin: Peter you didn't even know what 9/11 was until 2004.
Peter Griffin: That's not true Brian. I remember 9/11.
[Flashback to Lois watching 9/11 news footage. Peter walks by]
Peter Griffin: 'Eh must have been a woman pilot huh?

Peter Griffin: Now your talking Angela, this country needs more immigrants like my cousin Peter the Pig a new house
[Goes to a straw house, Big Bad Wolf Blows on the house]
Peter the Pig: ah I wouldn't do that if I were you
Big Bad wolf: What?
Peter the Pig: I said I wouldn't do that
[He carries on anyway]
Peter the Pig: I said knock it of.
Big Bad wolf: why?
Peter the Pig: Because I made stool in there & if you blow it down the whole woods is gonna stink. do you understand, do you understand me sir.

Peter Griffin: Hello, my American family.
Lois Griffin: Peter, where did you get that suit?
Stewie Griffin: My God, you look like the Statue of Liberty's pimp!

Carter: What's going on here?
Peter Griffin: We're taking what's ours! Actually, we're taking what's yours, but we don't think you deserve it, so we're calling it ours and taking it!

Immigration Officer: Complete this sentence: The land of the free and the home of the blank.
Peter Griffin: Home of the Whopper?


The Practical Pig (1939)
Practical Pig: Didn't I tell you not to go swimming?
Fifer Pig: Oh, we didn't go swimming, did we?
Fiddler Pig: Oh, no.
[the lie detector detects a lie and spanks the two pigs]
Practical Pig: Remember, this hurts me worse than it does you.
[the lie detector sounds again and spanks Practical]

[the Big Bad Wolf gets caught in the Practical Pig's lie detector machine]
Practical Pig: Where are my brothers?
Big Bad Wolf: Your brothers? Never heard of 'em!
[the lie detector detects a lie and washes the wolf's mouth with soap and water]
Practical Pig: Where are my brothers?
Big Bad Wolf: I ain't seen 'em!
[the lie detector detects another lie and spanks the wolf on the rear]
Practical Pig: WHERE ARE MY BROTHERS?
Big Bad Wolf: I ain't...
[He stops and looks at the lie detector, then turns back to Practical and speaks in a calmer voice]
Big Bad Wolf: Now listen, buddy, you got me wrong. Why, I'm your pal.
[the detector detects still another lie and proceeds to punish the wolf more]

[the first two pigs notice the Practical Pig building the lie detector]
Fifer Pig: [about the Practical Pig; laughing] He's building another wolf machine! He must be crazy in the bean.
Fiddler Pig: To work all day is fun for him, but not for us. Let's take a swim!
Practical Pig: Don't go swimming, do ya hear? The pond ain't safe; the wolf is near!
Fifer Pig, Fiddler Pig: [singing] He's afraid of the Big Bad Wolf...
[They make razzing and whistling noises in time with the closing quota of their song]
Fiddler Pig: Last one in is a pork sausage!

Fifer Pig, Fiddler Pig: [to each other] You're a pork sausage! You're a pork sausage!
Big Bad Wolf: Pork sausage. Ha-ha-ha-ha! Pork pie!

[the little wolves are about to bake the pigs in a pie]
Fifer Pig, Fiddler Pig: You'll be sorry when your pop gets back and we ain't here.
Three Little Wolves: Ha! We'll be sorry.


"The Raccoons: Mom's the Word! (#3.6)" (1989)
Pig One: [Bert rings the Bell at Sneer mansion] Alright, Cool it, We're coming!
Pig Two: [Annoyed] Well, Have you figured out how the doorbell *works* or do you need *more practice?
Mrs. Pig: Surprise!
Pig One, Pig Two, Pig Three: Mom?
Bert: Mom?

Cyril: [while driving through the forest] A Hundred Thousand Bucks! I can almost taste it!
Pig One, Pig Two, Pig Three: [Resigned and Downbeat] Yeah, just great, boss.
Cyril: What are you three so down in the mouth about? You look like you lost the key to your safety desposit box!
Pig One: Huh, I wish it were that simple.

Pig Three: [after Cyril wants Mrs. Pig's car] But that's Mom's car. We *can't* give it to the boss!
Pig Two: What'll we do?
Pig One: We can't keep this up much longer, We'll have to tell him the truth!
Pig Two: But We've *never* done that *before*!
Pig One: There's always a *first* time for everything! Besides we haven't figured out a way to get Mom the money she needs. Things can't *get* any worse!

Pig Two: [the pigs are retriving parts of Cyril's wrecked car] Hey! I've found a fender!
Pig One: Great. Just 3,425 parts to go before the boss will speak to us again!


Three Little Wolves (1936)
Practical Pig: Someday the wolf will get you, then you'll be in a fix. You'll blow that horn and I won't come. I'll think it's one of your tricks.

Big Bad Wolf: Who's there?
Practical Pig: [as Italian street vendor] Nice, ripe tomato! I'm giving a free sample.
Big Bad Wolf: Free sample? Well, let me have it.
[Gets a tomato in the face]
Big Bad Wolf: Why you little swine! I'll get you!

[Disguised as Bo Peep, the Wolf lures the pigs into his cave, locks the door and swallows the key]
Fifer Pig, Fiddler Pig: [Blushing] Why, Bo Peep.
Big Bad Wolf: Bo Peep?
[Laughs as he takes off his costume]
Fifer Pig, Fiddler Pig: The Wolf!


"The Raccoons: The Evergreen Election! (#5.11)" (1991)
Pig One: Ladies and gentlemen, we are here to tell you to vote for Cyril Sneer!
Pig Two: Because he promises open government behind closed doors!

Pig One: Pig One: Things are worse than we thought. Let's face it boys, if the boss loses, we lose. No cushy job as the mayor's assistants, no big office, no three hour lunches!
Pig Three: [sobbing] What are we gonna do?
Pig One: Get a grip on yourselves, guys! There's only one honourable thing we can do...
Pig One, Pig Three, Pig Two: Cheat like crazy!

Pig Two: The boss is gonna dump us and hire Lady Baden-Baden!
Pig Three: They always said politics was a dirty business!
Pig One: Well, it's going to get a lot *dirtier*!


"The Raccoons: Spring Fever! (#4.6)" (1989)
Pig Three: JP and Knox are inside the athletic club, boss.
Cyril: I can't picture Knox doing pushups!
Pig Three: Oh my... they *were* here!
Pig One: The steam bath,boss! They must be in there!
Cyril: [walking into Steam room] Good work boys. You'll get a raise for this.
Pig Three: A raise!
Cyril: JP? JP Gordon? Have I got something for you!
Lady Baden-Baden: Oh, there's a man in here!
[various screams]
Pig Three: Oops... so much for our raise.

Cyril: Alright, I'm through pussyfooting around! We're going to tunnel into Knox's mansion!
Pig Three: Oh, Lady Baden-Baden won't like that, Boss. You know how she hates muddy footprints all over the house.


Epic Mickey 2: The Power of Two (2012) (VG)
[the Practical Pig learns that Mickey and Oswald have repaired the phone network]
Practical Pig: Hot dog! You've repaired the phone network! So now we're all ready to start recording a new record. But as you can see, my brothers have wandered off again. Go figure. They always seem to do that around practice time. Far as I know, Fifer went rock climbing in Disney Gulch, and Fiddler went to serenade the bunny children at Ostown. If you could bring them back, I'd really appreciate it.

[Mickey and Oswald meet the Practical Pig]
Practical Pig: Hey there, guys! How's it goin'? Well, it's not good here. See, we're in a bit of a pickle. We owe a lot of money to Bad Wolf Publishing. Our last record kinda flopped, and they want their money back. So anyways, I got this plan. It'll take a lot of work, but I think we can get enough cash to put out our own record. And then we'll be rich! Unless, of course, somebody wants to donate the massive amount of E-tickets we need.
[Mickey and Oswald decline]
Practical Pig: Yeah, I didn't think so. Right, so I got me this plan: if we can make a record and get the word out, we'll sell bazillions! But there's a couple of hitches. First off, my brother's fiddle got broke in the Gulch. Can't make a new record when the music sounds like a sick cat.
[sees that Mickey and Oswald have a fiddle]
Practical Pig: Well! Look at that fiddle! It's a beauty, ain't it? And what's this say here on the back? "Stradivarius". Huh. Don't know what that means.
[Mickey and Oswald give Practical the fiddle]
Practical Pig: But anyways, thanks a bunch, pal! Okay, now for step two: we can make a new record, but we need to get the word out. I'd use the Wasteland telephone network, but it went down in the quake. But hey, the telephone in Mickey's house might know how to fix the network. You should go check with her!


"The Raccoons: A Night to Remember (#1.3)" (1985)
Cyril: Hey you! Bring that umbrella back here! What are you trying to do, turn me purple?
Pig Two: Yes, sir! I mean, no, sir!

Cyril: Of course I want you to check it out! Why do you think I pay you that fancy salary?
Pig One, Pig Two, Pig Three: But we've never been paid!
Cyril: The cheque's in the mail.


"The Raccoons: Going It Alone! (#1.2)" (1985)
Cyril Sneer: [Cyril sets off a trap which causes a boulder to roll down the hill to stop Bert getting up the mountain] I built this stuff into the mountain twenty years ago, and it still works!
[the boulder rebounds off the curved trunk of a tree just before it reaches Bert, and is sent flying back towards Cyril and the pigs]
Pig One: Unfortunately sir, but...
Pig Two: That tree wasn't there...
Pig Three: TWENTY YEARS AGO!

Pig One: [the Pigs find Sam Sneer's Statue at the top of the mountain] *This* is the secret we've been protecting?
[Pigs Giggle]
Cyril Sneer: [enraged] You find something funny about a Sneer that gave away *all* his money?
Pig One, Pig Two, Pig Three: No, sir! No, sir!
Cyril Sneer: A Sneer who gave everything away to charity? This statue is an embarrassment to me! It could ruin my image forever!
Pig One: But sir, why don't you just destroy it?
Cyril Sneer: Destroy it?
Pig Two: Yes, Sir. Destroy it!
Cyril Sneer: On top of by being quiet, humble, generous and kind, I also always keep my word.
[hears his Uncle's voice in flashback]
Sam Sneer: Promise me!
Cyril Sneer: I suggest you do the same.
Pig One, Pig Two, Pig Three: Yes sir.
Cyril Sneer: Because if one breath ever gets out about this, it'll be kicking you off of the 50 yard line at next year's Superbowl! Is that clear?
Pig One, Pig Two, Pig Three: [Terrified] Yes, sir!
Pig One: Your secret's safe with us sir!
Pig Three: Our lips are sealed!
Cyril Sneer: So's your fate! Now get this eyesore where no one will ever find it!


Scared Shrekless (2010) (TV)
Three Pigs: [as they run away after Gingy's story] Whee, whee, whee!
Wolf: They're gonna do that all the way home. I better go too. They're my ride.


The Big Bad Wolf (1934)
Fifer Pig: Where are you going, Red Riding Hood?
Fiddler Pig: What's in the basket? Something good?
Little Red Riding Hood: I'm bringing Grandma cakes and wine. She's awful, awful sick. I'm in a great big hurry, too. I gotta get there quick.
Fifer Pig, Fiddler Pig: You'll get there quick, Red Riding Hood, if you take the shortcut through the wood.
Practical Pig: There's danger in them woods. Beware! The Big Bad Wolf is lurking there. Better to be safe than sorry. Shortcuts are not always good. Take the long road 'round the forest while the Wolf is in the wood.
Fifer Pig, Fiddler Pig: [Laugh] That old wolf is just a sissy.
Fifer Pig: All he does is huff...
Fifer Pig: ...and puff.
Fifer Pig, Fiddler Pig: We'll go with you and protect you. Come along, we'll call his bluff.


The Windblown Hare (1949)
Bugs Bunny: They're home, Doc. Start blowing.
Big Bad Wolf: I can't blow the brick house down. It says so in the book.
Bugs Bunny: Book, schnook! Blow the house down.
Big Bad Wolf: I'm gonna huff, and I'll puff, and I'll b-b-b-blow your house down!
Pig #1: Listen, it's that windy wolf.
[They laugh]
Pig #2: Ah, blow your brains out.
Pig #3: We know you can't blow down bricks.
[the wolf blows; after a moment, the house explodes]
Big Bad Wolf: I did it!
the Three Little Pigs: He did it?
Bugs Bunny: [Next to a detonator] Eh... *we* did it.


"The Raccoons: Moving In! (#5.3)" (1991)
Cyril Sneer: [after literally kicking the Pigs out of the Mansion for accidentally shredding his money] And If I ever see you three thick-headed throwbacks, I'll make you the main attractions at a Luau and you won't be wearing *grass skirts*!
[to Snag]
Cyril Sneer: Show them to the gate, Snag!
Pig One, Pig Two, Pig Three: [Snag growls] No! Nooooo!


"The Raccoons: Games People Play! (#3.13)" (1989)
Pig One: And now our question for you boss is...
Pig Two: ...When are we going to get a raise?
Cyril: Never!
Dirk Dassie: From all available reports, you're absolutely right, Cyril!


"The Raccoons: Buried Treasure! (#1.6)" (1986)
Cyril: [Boat Motor has packed in while Cyril and the Pigs are escaping] What in *blazes* is going on?
Pig Two: It appears it's given up the ghost, sir!
Cyril: *You'll* be ghosts if you don't get this barge moving!


"The Raccoons: Stop the Clock! (#2.5)" (1987)
Cyril: [Tampering with the High Jump] You call that a jump? Now lift that bar. I want it higher!
Pig Two: Higher sir?
Cyril: *Higher*! Higher than my bank's interest rates!


"The Raccoons: Cry Wolf! (#1.9)" (1986)
Cyril: [Bert disguises himself as 'Auntie Bertha' in a bid to get information out of Cyril whilst helping him get to sleep] I want to hear a real story! Give me King Midas. I want to hear about Midas and his wonderful golden touch!
Bert: Once upon a time there was king with a golden touch.
Cyril: Ooh, I like that. My kind of man!
Bert: Everything he touched turned to gold.
Cyril: Good, good
Bert: His cities were gold, his streets were gold.
Cyril: Marvelous! Marvelous!
Cyril: In fact, his whole kingdom was paved with gold. He even paved the forest with gold. What do you think of that?
Pig Two: Oh that's nothing! We're going to do that tomorrow - with cement!


Shrek 2 (2004)
[hanging from Fairy Godmother's feet and looking up]
Pig: I see London, I see France...


"The Raccoons: The Runaways! (#1.5)" (1985)
Cyril: This place looks like a pig sty!
Pig One, Pig Two, Pig Three: Oh, Thank you, sir! We try, sir!